JC's helper

I just have to tell you...

2012-02-13T21:05:00.000-08:00

First story. Years ago I was in discussion with a fire fighter. "Marriage" he pronounced, "was an outmoded institution. You do not need it." He claimed to be an atheist and loved to tell me that he would never be getting married. According to him the nasty life inhibiting Christian Church inflicted marriage on people. I said to him that one day, one day I think he will find a woman he will want to marry. I joked to him that I would remind him of his assertions then, that I would turn up at the wedding and go "na..na...na, na na!" in the back seat. "Never going to happen!" he asserted. "We'll see?" I would say. I actually really like this guy, he has a beautiful nature, and a great sense of humour.

Tonight I was sitting chatting at a fire station. He came in early for work. We greeted each other and there was general chat for a while. Then he strangely said, "Do you want a bit of a giggle Dave? I have a story to tell you." Others said, "Have you got a joke?" "Nah" he said, looking sheepishly at the floor. He hesitated, looked at me and said, "I've gone and done something strange. I've... I've..." I burst out laughing, pointed at him with glee and yelled, "You've got engaged! Is that right? Woo hoo, I'm going to that wedding!" "Yes" he said, with a big grin on his face. We laughed together. I did sincerely congratulate him as he said, "After the mirth died down." As I went he said, "It was disturbing how readily you came to mind when it happened." So cute... he will be a good husband to the right woman. He has a great nature and for him to have taken this step he must really love her.

Second story. Just now I have received an email with stacks of photos of a Mustang fighter plane. This guy had to retire from one of my chaplaincies because of his ill health. He had said to me several times that he wanted to go on a flight in a restored Mustang fighter plane. It was a bit like a bucket list wish. Well he has flown from Wanaka to Taieri and back and sent me the photos to share the joy. All he wrote basically was, "Mission Accomplished!". So neat that he thought to tell me about it.

I do have a great life sometimes, I get to rejoice with people when they rejoice.

Monday mumblings.

2012-02-12T22:12:00.000-08:00

New is not necessarily better
Today I needed a car jack to lift the front of an old caravan. I have a selection of jacks taken from cars that I have discarded, but I have a favourite one I seldom go past. It is an ancient screw type jack which I think came out of a 1930's Austin. It is simple to adjust, simple to operate and has never let me down. I know there are hydraulic jacks but inevitably they leak fluid. (I have thrown a number out) There are scissor type jacks found in many modern cars but they often get bent out of shape. This old one just keeps plodding on. New and complicated is not necessarily better. (Sometimes this is true with computer programs too.)
Sad emptiness
Whitney Houston has died at just 48. I loved a number of her songs. She was a beautiful lady with a great talent. It is sad that people say "it comes as no surprise" because of her drug and alcohol use. You hear of so many of these celebrities abusing drugs and alcohol. Amy Winehouse, Michael Jackson, Waylon Jennings, Charlie Sheen and the list could go on. Why? Again and again they lead to early death or a life of chaos. Us normal folk long for enough money to buy a decent house without a mortgage. We want some sort of financial security and maybe a nice looking reliable vehicle. We think we would be happy with such things. These celebrities are gifted, they have fame, they have all the material wealth and more than we could possibly hope for, but still do not find happiness. Their abuse of drugs points to either deep stress (why stress.. if they stopped work they could live comfortably forever?) or deep insecurity or other sources of inner emptiness. We say that money can't buy happiness, but do we believe it? These sad cases are proof of that. I still think Jesus is right when he said, "If you lose your life, you will find it." Happiness and fulfillment are a by product. They are the result of living life for a cause bigger than yourself. They happen when we give ourselves in service and love to others. I feel really sad for Whitney. I loved her voice, and at her best her presence and musical presentation were superb and moving. Her songs I will always love you and The greatest love of all will remain a couple of my favourites.
"Real" flavours - "real" people.
My wife and I were discussing the lack of salt in our diet. My mother, as part of a different generation, always added salt while cooking vegetables. Her soups were very salty. She argued that it brought out the taste of the food. Because of the publicity given to the bad impact of salt on arteries we very seldom add salt to anything. We have come to love the saltless natural flavours of the vegetables. We enjoy the occasional spicy Indian food. It makes a change and we have a favourite Indian restaurant. (Little India in Dunedin) But we would not eat Indian food all the time. Why? Well because the spices mean that you do not taste the natural flavours of the respective vegetables. A carrot, lettuce, cabbage, turnip or silverbeet fresh out of the garden is superb. The natural flavours not ruined or distorted by over cooking or added salt and spices are simply beautiful. I got to thinking about the sort of people I am drawn to. I mix with some very intelligent people, but also some very simple folk. I know some rich people and lots of poor people. But across the board, rich, poor, beautiful, ugly, intelligent or simple the people I am drawn to and enjoy spending time with are the people who are comfortable just "being themselves." I get really sad with poor people or simple people trying to be other than who they are. The poor get themselves in trouble by trying to have what they cannot afford. The simple come across as stupid know alls when they try to impress with their knowledge. Others are frustrating because you can know them for years, but never really know them. Some people spend a lot of energy trying to be religious and look godly. But I just love spending time with people who relax and just be their open, loving selves. They are worth knowing. Their beautiful natural flavours can be tasted and enjoyed. Like my food, I like people natural and not trying to be different. "Rela-a-a-x ... you're OK, there is no need to add salt and spices, you are beautiful just as you are." There are so many people who I would love to say that to.
Does religion sometimes distort people?
I often find that long time church goers seem more uptight and less relaxed than others. They appear to think they have an "image" to keep up. Sometimes I have said that I feel "more at home at the mess in the fire station than at the cup of tea after church". I often find that the newer people at Church seem more "real" than long standing members. (This is a generalisation and not always true) If I understand the impact of Jesus correctly, he seems to say, "Relax, you are loved and accepted as you are!" It is a shame when the Christian faith has the opposite effect.

Ships that pass in the night

2012-02-11T02:36:00.000-08:00

You can see the cruise ship near the top of the picture in the open ocean.

The small wooden ship the Monarch in the centre of the picture, heads toward the Dunedin wharf. Probably full of tourists having some thing to eat and drink.

This evening I went up to the top of "my" Mount Cargill. As I surveyed the scene I saw two ships. One was a cruise ship already out of Otago Harbour, in the open ocean and headed South. The other was a considerably smaller ship. It was the Monarch which takes cruises up and around the harbour. They must have past each other at about the entrance to the harbour. It was getting on toward 7 p.m. and I thought of that saying we have, "Ships that pass in the night." I think it refers to short friendships in life. Is that right? I got to thinking about the people who have been and are in my life. Sometimes you can be briefly and intensely involved, but later you move to other parts and lose contact. It is sad, but inevitable often. Anyway I have been up on top of Mount Cargill hundreds of times and I never fail to enjoy the view. The first five minutes up the organ pipe track is very steep. I was just chugging along and was surprised when I found myself at the final steep stairway. I had not stopped to catch my breath and it had not seemed difficult. I must be getting a measure of fitness back again. It is good when you feel some progress.

Compassion and anger

2012-02-09T01:20:00.000-08:00

Exploring the Rangitata river bed while stewing on life and ministry.

We have at least 40 people come to our Friday night drop-in centre. Many are mental health patients. Nearly all of them are unemployed and possibly unemployable. I talk with them, play pool and table tennis with them and generally mix and mingle. Some of their life stories are horrendous. I looked at one guy, a 70 something alcoholic and saw just a wasted life. I see illiterate people, emotionally injured people, deeply paranoid people and people who just can't seem to think straight. We often encounter smelly people and again and again we see people not coping with life and heading down hill in their appearance, their state of mind and their overall well being. I often find myself feeling deeply sorry for them. At the same time I get angry. I get angry at the sort of society we are where we just spit so many people out of the backside of our systems! (education, economic, health, justice, family life, even their own life choices and the culture that encourages these ) It is a funny mixture of compassion mixed with anger. The same could be said with my encounters with people in chaplaincy and church. I often feel deeply sad for their circumstance. I ache for the distorted, hurting lives of the people, but I am angry at the values, perspectives, choices and culture that brought them to the difficulties and sadnesses. "If only they had..." I scream to myself in frustration.

I have been studying the passage Mark1:40 - 45. A man with a rough and scaly skin disease came to Jesus. In that culture such a disease would mean he would have to live in isolated places, away from family and society in general. He was considered "unclean" by religious authorities and there would even be those who would ascribe his condition as some punishment for sin. This man came to Jesus and it says in verse 41 that Jesus was "moved with pity". Now the original Greek words could be also translated that Jesus was "moved with anger". In some places the same words have been translated as this. Which was it here? Jesus in verse 43 Jesus spoke "sternly to him". Maybe he was angry with him?

I, with the backing of some scholarship on this, want to suggest it was both "compassion" and "anger". Jesus felt deep compassion for this man's physical, cultural, social situation but at the same time anger at the values in a society and the religious mindset that made this man's life worse than it need to have been. It was compassion with anger.

That is helpful to me. I am often filled with compassion and love for people. As I mix with people I relish the love, warmth and the sense of "worthwhileness" in the relationships I share. I find deep fulfillment and happiness in the people-work I do. At the same time, however, (and you will know this if you are a regular reader of my blog) I am often filled with anger, frustration, depression and want to quit at least once a week. These feelings are not negativity for the sake of negativity. They are not me wallowing in self-pity. (though sometimes they are) They are anger and frustration because in the first place I love and yearn for people's circumstances. I am angry at people, systems, values and perspectives which keep people down. This can be frustration at Church baggage and traditions. This can be frustration with people who I think should know better. It can be anger at our society's destructive values that we all buy into.

Anyway it helps explain how I can say that following Jesus brings to me happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment, and yet often I can come across like a misery guts! (Woe is me - life is hard) Like Jesus, I am moved by compassion AND anger. That Greek word which can be translated with two meanings has real depth to it and rings true in human experience.
Post Script:I drove into town to my work for today with a country music tape blaring on the car stereo system. Being country music there was a fair proportion of "Oh lonesome me" and "She done me wrong" type songs. I got to thinking, "It would be easier not to love in the first place!" This is true of all love. If you love or feel compassion, you are going to hurt. You are going to be sad at some stage. As above compassion often leads to sadness and anger. If you don't want to be sad, don't love... but then miss out on the essence of life.
The other thing I decided was that I should more often, where I can, deal to the things that make me angry. For example: I am angry at the waste of life that alcoholism does to a person. As well as caring for and supporting the person, like I often do, I need to be attacking our society's attitudes to drink and its place in our culture. Funny how country songs prompted thoughts.

Connections.. We are one.

2012-02-07T01:35:00.000-08:00

In my last post I mentioned that as I understood it a Kiwi theology would address four issues.

Consumerism, materialism and capitalism
Meaning and significance
Connectedness, solidarity and world citizenship
Sustainable lifestyles.

As I walked my mountain yesterday I got to thinking that a summary statement would be the theology would explore a sense of "connectedness" with our inner-selves, other people and creation. This was rolling through my mind. It is a deep recognition that we are connected to others and the whole of the universe. When one hurts we all hurt. Last night I did some tidying up of my study. I found an old Christian magazine. I used to be on the editorial committee of it and had written an article dreaming of the future for the church. This was a way back in 1994. As part of it I dreamed of a church which would encourage a deep and growing spirituality. In brief terms I used M Scott Peck, and James Fowler's words to describe a mature spirituality.

People able "to see the cohesion beneath the surface of things...."
People able to "to see connections between men and women, between humans and other creatures, between people walking the earth and others who are not even here..."
People with a "powerful vision of universal compassion, justice and love that compels them to live their lives that way...."

It seems and feels to me as if we are spiritually mature when we take the trouble to have a deeper look at life and see and perhaps more importantly feel connections, consequences and links between ourselves, others, and the world at large. In some ways it is a loosening or opening up of our own individuality and seeing ourselves linked with, and a part of the whole. This "whole" encompasses human society, animals, plant life, creation, the past and the future. It is a deep recognition that we are permeable... others' lives flow into us, our life flows out of us impacting the world about us. We realise that we cannot really live as isolated individuals, essential links exist.

Anyway the nature of thinking about deep things is that there is mystery and an open-endedness about any of our words ... all we can do is evoke feelings and perspectives.

We are one! (A good song that describes this)... That's been bubbling in my head and heart as I start another year of trying to lead a church, be a minister and a chaplain.

Today's experiences have made me feel like a bit of a failure and more than a bit frustrated. I have not been all I should have been, I have found things frustrating and at present struggle to see light at the end of a tunnel. But I'll be OK tomorrow.

Thinking theology.

2012-02-05T01:54:00.000-08:00

I had a drink and some fruit sheltering behind these rocks on top of "my" Mount Cargill tonight. You can vaguely see the base of the radio communications mast through the fast blowing mist.

On my walk I stopped to "relieve myself" and looked up and saw this shrub.

Some other hanging flowers on my mountain. I do a lot of thinking on my mountain.

"... there can never be a final theology."
While on holiday I read a great book by Desmond Tutu called "God is not a Christian". It really is a collection of sermons, letters and speeches from this very amazing man. Bishop Tutu was a champion for justice and a just, non-racial and democratic South Africa during the apartheid years. There was incredible injustice, suffering and mistreatment of black South Africans and as I read the book I could not help but be impressed by the courage of this clergyman. He has also been a speaker throughout the world campaigning for justice, reconciliation and peace. In one article in the book he speaks about "Black Theology". He says this....

"Black theology makes the proper assertion to which Anglo-saxon theology at least pays lip service: that there can never be a final theology, for theology changes as various ingredients in the mixture change - the life experience of the particular community, its self-understanding, its manner and categories of expression. Anglo-saxon theology tends to lay claim to a universality it can never properly possess. This is because theology is an attempt to make sense of the life experience of a particular Christian community, a community conditioned by time and space, and all of this in relation to what God has done or is doing and will do - the fundamental reference point being the man Jesus."

I like this emphasis. I get so frustrated with reading "old western theology" which seems so irrelevant to where I am at. The way I see it is that our theology keeps on changing. I have a filing cabinet. When I was a brand new minister I put folders in with a whole list of categories. "Christian Education", "Spirituality", "Family & Marriage", "Church Growth", "Churches of Christ", "Discipleship", "Prayer", "Peace", "Poverty" etc. etc. The intention was that in those folders I would gather articles, quotations and references related to that category. These days I seldom open the cabinet! The categories that I see as priorities now are different than the categories I listed off back then. My theology has changed. My world has changed. I am at a different stage in life and ministry. The Church has changed. The issues have changed. In the same way, for the same reasons no theology is final. All I can say is this is how I see it currently. Books that claim finality in areas of religion are misguided.
Black Theology in South Africa during apartheid.
Black theology which Desmond Tutu talked about tended to emphasise God as liberator. The Exodus stories were important. The concept of a God who was on the side of the oppressed was highlighted. A God who demanded justice, was at work for justice and whose will could not be thwarted was a precious picture for an oppressed people suffering injustice. There were other elements to a black theology too. The mention of a black theology and the recognition that a theology reflects the expressions and experience of a particular community got me asking the question "What would I see as elements of a Kiwi theology?"
Four aspects of a Kiwi theology (Well I guess "My theological thinking")
For me there are at least four life issues a New Zealand Theology would address and emphasise.

Consumerism, materialism and capitalism. I believe a big issue in the world and in NZ at the moment is our addiction to consumerism. Whether we are rich or poor we tend to think the goal of life is to spend, to have and to use; that happiness is found in this way. The negative impacts of such values gives us cause to critically question them. The poor are bitter. The rich often find their riches do not bring the satisfaction they thought. I have seen so many bitter breakdowns of friendships, marriages, families and partnerships all over money and possessions. In the present age such values do not lend themselves to due care of the environment. We are in the midst of a fragile world economy and we must, I believe, find an alternative to blind capitalism, regularly it fails us. The gap between rich and poor gets larger with all sorts of consequences. A Kiwi theology must affirm that we "cannot live by bread alone". It must explore deeper reasons for being and address the issue of money's place in life. For me, the purposes of God, the way of Jesus invites me to live with a certain freedom from materialism, not dependent on riches. I can be free with a light attachment to "things". A relevant kiwi theology would explore this.
Meaning and significance. A number of people in chaplaincies have said something like, "Life is a shit sandwich. You are born, and then you die, and what is in between is just shit." Now they are overstating their point, but that is how they often feel. A man once almost screamed at me, "Why do I live? I come here and work my arse off every day, to earn money. My ungrateful wife and kids spend it as fast as I earn it, and that's my life! Why?" People's expectations about life are often low, even of their marriage. The suicide rate in NZ is quite high, particularly amongst young people. Things like vandalism, abuse of drugs and alcohol, destructive violence all point to a deep lack of meaning and purpose in life. Life for many is lived in a superficial way, with little sense of significance. Victor Frankl called it an "existential vacuum". Because of my being a follower of Jesus, I have a deep sense of direction and purpose. I am driven (though not always in touch with my inner-core) to want to be a loving person and live in such a way that I help bring wholeness to myself and others. A Kiwi theology will address this issue of ultimate meaning for life.
Connectedness, solidarity and world citizenship. We live in a very small world. I do not have many skype friends on my computer, but even I can easily link to people in the UK, China, Hungary, Poland and Australia. I once found myself "counselling" a young Muslim man in the United Arab Emirates after his Grandmother, who he was looking after, died. He had to make decisions and we talked it over via skype...It is a small world. There are wide gaps between rich and poor nations and people. In NZ we are becoming increasingly a cosmopolitan country with many ethnic groups walking our streets. There are scary responses made to this situation. Some build walls around their "tribe" and see only the "otherness" of others. So there has evolved a dangerous tension between "Muslim" and "Christian". Often religion is used to encourage this intolerance. In places in NZ there is a racism against "those Asians taking over our country". In some circles there is a tension between Maori and Pakeha. (European New Zealander) But a true relevant Kiwi theology would emphasis the deep truth of the essential unity of the human race. It would challenge the walls that divide and encourage a sense of world citizenship. It would encourage a sense of solidarity between rich and poor and all the different "divides" that separate us. A Kiwi theology would see the essential sacredness of all, recognise the "great Spirit" who is bigger than our various religious definitions, and encouraging a sharing of resources with a desire to breakdown walls that divide. It would encourage a mutual servanthood and "community".
Encourage a sustainable lifestyle, caring for the planet. A relevant Kiwi theology would recognise a deep need in this day and age to care for the environment. The current lifestyle we are living is damaging our planet, resources are running out and imbalances are occurring. We are one with creation. One of the creation myths in Genesis has humankind being moulded out of mud. We share this planet with other species of both plants and animals and we are called to a proper stewardship of the world we live in. There is a form of "Christianity" that claims our right to do what we like with creation. A true theology would have us caring for that which God cares for. It would explore the theological roots of a sustainable lifestyle.

Anyway that is my "off the top of my head" thinking for now. I did enjoy Desmond Tutu's book, it prompted lots of my own stewing.

Old things and wasted lives

2012-02-03T16:48:00.000-08:00

The other day I chopped up parts of some old furniture of ours. When we got married in 1969 we bought ourselves a bed and then bought kit-set bedroom furniture. It was mahogany veneer, a headboard (which we still use) bedside cabinets, and corner drawer unit. These pieces have traveled with us all these years though when we moved back to Dunedin they got damaged in the train carriage. After a time we stopped using most of them and they have been sitting taking up space in the workshop. I decided it was time to get rid of the drawers and turn them into shelving units for some of the "stuff" I have in my workshop. As I retrieved the handles and broke up the draws for firewood I thought that if these things could talk what would they say about our journey together? I remembered assembling them with my new wife, and how much care we put into it, sanding and varnishing. They were a special project early in our marriage, it seemed a shame to be destroying them, but the time had come.

Many years ago I assisted an alcoholic friend move out of what was his father's cottage. He had bought it off the estate and had not been able to keep up the mortgage payments. He was a hoarder, worse than me. The whole house was full of junk, with just a path to a lazy boy chair where he ate, slept and lived. The sheds outside were packed with junk. I helped him move and he threw out some a of his hoarded treasures because they would not fit into his new flat. He still had boxes of it over so I said I would store it for him, and took a van load to our place. I have had them sitting in my sheds for years. We have thrown some out, but today more went to the rubbish tip. The scary thing is there are real treasures amongst the junk. My wife was loading boxes onto the wheel barrow, trying to avoid my looking into them. I did find some treasures. There were tools probably belonging to his father that I thought we should not throw out. I was sad for him as we discarded these prized old car parts, bolts, household junk, magazines and all sorts of assorted hardware.

Just some of the "treasures" I rescued from being thrown out. Maybe my kids will have to discard them?

This hoarder whose junk it was, attended our Drop-in centre last night. He is now in his seventies. His eyesight is not good. He shuffles along the road with a shopping trolly to collect things in. These days he lives in an old rented house full of "treasures", with no electricity and once again little room for him to move. I suspect before too long his old body will give out and he'll be found dead somewhere. I have known him for over 20 years. I looked at him as he sat in a corner devouring our sausages, sandwiches and coffee. He had tomato sauce dribbling down his face, his eyes were bloodshot, clothing disheveled and conversation was limited. He was once somebody's precious child. He had been a car mechanic, but most of his life he has drifted around hooked on booze, gambling and hoarding. He is basically a nice guy, but here before me was a wasted, rotting life. It is so very very sad. There was another young man we have known for several years at drop-in centre. He was wearing a tee shirt that had emblazoned across the back in bright coloured letters, "I've done my time at the Milton Hilton". The "Milton Hilton" is the nickname people have given to a big new prison south of Dunedin. This young man has so little in life that is good that he has to boast about having been in prison. Another wasted life. Another guy said when invited to read something, "Oh I can't read... er... I've left my glasses at home." We discover so many of our younger drop-in friends really cannot read. Why is it in this day and age, in the midst of a relatively rich developed country that there are people in this predicament? Today I have felt sad for lives that are a way short of what they could or should be.

Good People

2012-02-02T13:25:00.000-08:00

I have just come into my office for my fourth day back into my work. Yesterday as a part of my day I did 6 hours of chaplaincy. In total I have done eleven hours in chaplaincies so far this week with more to come today. The thing that has hit me as I have returned from holiday is the warmth in the reception I have received. People have seemed genuinely pleased to see me. I end up my chaplaincy time feeling quite tired. It is tiring listening actively even though there have been no dramas. But I have appreciated reconnecting. I feel I have a great privilege to know so many good people.

As I walked up the road to one chaplaincy site the other day a van from one of my other workplaces drove by. The driver wound down the window, waved enthusiastically and yelled friendly abuse. "Get a real job!" he said. Sometimes when I am sitting yarning with people, riding the fire engine, learning about printing, newspapers, brewing or ambulance work, I pinch myself and say, "Am I really getting paid to do this? Is it a real job?"

"Thank you God for the people I am privileged to know."

Three ten hour days done, today will be thirteen. I have people ringing up asking if drop-in centre is open tonight, they have missed it. One of my "spare-time" jobs this week has been getting the drop-in centre tidy and ready to operate again. I better go and fix that pocket on the pool table.

Back in harness

2012-01-31T01:26:00.000-08:00

Dunedin - the community I feel compelled to minister among.

First day back at work
Today is my first day back at work after my summer holidays. I have so far completed nine hours for the day with some more preparation work I want to get under my belt before I head to bed. This week we crank up the church activities for the year. Our Space2B lunch time open times begins tomorrow. Our Friday night drop-in centre begins on Friday. I am back taking church services on Sunday and of course today I began to visit chaplaincy sites. Last night I went up "my mountain" (Mount Cargill) and thought about the year ahead. How do we lead the Church community to be a useful presence in the community, meeting needs and encouraging whole living? How do I balance all the various responsibilities I have? From the top of the mountain I looked over the city and I thought of the various work places I visit, the suburbs and the people living in them I knew, the various ministries in the Church and I prayed about the year ahead. I hope this time next year I will be able to look back on 2012 and be pleased with what we have done.
Good news on my health
During my holiday I had a prostate biopsy. It was not much fun and was made worse because the doctor doing the procedure exclaimed about the size of my prostate and decided he should take extra samples. It all sounded ominous. Today I went around to the hospital for the follow up appointment. While there is a little health concern, they said that as far as they could tell there was no cancer. I breathed a sigh of relief. They are going to see me again in 6 months. I was relieved to get that behind me.
"His truth is marching on.."
I have what is called a "progressive theology" that has an "incarnational-action" element to it. (A man once said to me, "Your theology is 'just do it!'") My understanding of scripture takes into account modern scholarship. My emphasis is centred on Jesus being a model for living and for Church life. The Church should be a servant in the community as Jesus modeled servant living. I spend a great deal of my time mixing in the community, and that to me is where the church should be. Our worship style is not "happy clappy". Now my difficulty is that I feel out of step with so many fellow christians and my own denomination these days. There is a fundamentalism that is thriving, a literalistic theology combined with "happy clappy" worship, and while I have read and listened, I cannot be there. I have deep concerns about the direction of these emphases. I sometimes see deep damage being done. Often such people look at the likes of me and would see me as a heretic and even perhaps say, "No wonder his church is not growing much!" I certainly feel out of step often. But I cannot be anywhere else. This is what I believe and how I see the truth of Jesus. I do get despondent and feel alone and often up against it. I don't fit the old "establishment church" model. I do not fit the popular "happy clappy" model, but neither do I fit the "liberal" model. I am ... well "different" .. "peculiar" maybe.
During the holidays I read a great book called "God is not a Christian", a collection of teachings of various sorts by Desmond Tutu of South Africa. In the days of apartheid he kept saying to his people and to any who would listen, that "this is God's world! A moral and just world! People who appose the ways of God should know that they will lose. Ultimately God's ways triumph!" He has a cheeky way of saying stuff. He says something like, "Actually we are being nice to our opponents. We are inviting them to join the winning side. They cannot win." He kept raising this placard of hope in the midst of the darkest days of apartheid. "God's ways cannot be defeated. History has shown that!" I read that and have been encouraged. I believe deeply that the basic directions of my thinking are "of Jesus". (Though I never live up to the ideals I see and have a whole lot more to learn.) In my gut I believe they are in line with the ways of God. In the face of few obvious returns and in spite of others who say I am on the wrong track, I have been encouraged to say to myself, "Ultimately, whether I live to see it or not, whether others agree or not, these ways will be seen to be true. What I am living for and trying to express are the true ways and priorities of God, and they cannot be defeated." In the words it is said Martin Luther used, "Here I stand, I can do no other." Also in the words of the old song, I believe deeply "His truth is marching on!" I begin my work for 2012, another year of ministry and chaplaincy with a certain amount of trepidation. The work will require real thought, energy and commitment. But I am encouraged by Tutu's example and reminder.

Sunset on my holiday

2012-01-27T21:15:00.000-08:00

I loved the colours of this pic from our last evening up the Rangitata Gorge

Back in Dunedin. Looking toward the heads of Otago Harbour. I had a head wind into town and back home again when I went for a bike ride today. Wonder what the bike seat does to my troublesome prostate?

The infamous teeth statues where I sat to catch my breath.

Holiday reflections

2012-01-26T15:12:00.000-08:00

Standing in the current of the main channel of the Rangitata braided river.

The river bed is very wide with many channels we waded through. In floods this area would be covered. I wondered what stories that old drift wood could share? Where did it originally grow? How many floods brought it here?

Just “being”

We have been on holidayaway from home for nearly two weeks. A lot of the time has been doing nothingor whatever takes our fancy in our isolated rented holiday house. We did things like; sitting and watching aDVD or two - wandered down the river picking up interesting looking pebbles - hada morning cup of tea in bed and stayed in bed reading or snoozing - drove upthe road looking at farms and scenery, stopped and had a picnic cup of tea - just blobbed out reading. On our secondto last day we decided to get active. We needed to go out to civilisation tobuy bread so we thought we’d go to Peel Forest, where there is a littleshop/café/bar and include a walk in the bush. While driving there (33k) we gottalking about a second hand shop our sister-in-law had mentioned in Mayfield, (20kfurther on) so we decided to go there first. We had a leisurely lunch in a caféthere and then spent nearly an hour wandering this old cluttered secondhand/antiques store… it was like a museum. (We made a total of $8 worth ofpurchases … big spenders we are!) That prompted a memory that we had seen asign to a vintage car/tractor machinery museum in Geraldine, so off we wentthere. We enjoyed another coupleof hours lazily exploring another antique shop/museum and the car museum. They had “vintage” plumber’s toolsdisplayed… I still have the same ones in my workshop! We had owned the samemake and model of a couple of the cars displayed. An old Fordson tractor ondisplay was the same model that was the very first vehicle I ever drove. We stoppedby a café for a lazy cup of tea, joking with the waitress then dawdled our wayhome. It was not the exercise we had planned for the day, but that’s the natureof our holiday. We did whatever took our fancy. At the holiday house the lawnsand garden were not our responsibility. I did decide to pull a faulty door handle to bits and fix it.It was annoying me, but no other “work” was done.

It is a strangefeeling going from a lifestyle where there does not seem enough hours in theday to doing “whatever whenever”. In some ways at first it is frustrating. There is no outlet for creativity. Whoam I if I do nothing? But I got used to it. I read, reflected and refreshedthose deep motivations that drive my life and make me who I am. It has been anexperience of renewing and refreshing my “centre”. It is good doing nothing, sooften we fill even holidays with things to do, destinations, people-to-see anddeadlines.

Health changes.

It is interesting,there are changes to the way my body operates when on holiday. I have sleptlike a log. (During the year I have long periods of wakefulness in the middleof the night) Often too I have dropped to sleep while reading after lunch. Itis like I was making up for a year of insufficient sleep. In recent months Ihave had trouble with sensitive teeth. Hot drinks annoy and ice cream makes mescream. I recognise that this happens for me when I am stressed. On holiday itdoes not happen. There are other symptoms that I will not divulge which havedisappeared while on holiday. I am glad that there are plans to lessen myworkload this year. I think it will be better for me.

Unplugged

The other adaptation Ihad to make on holiday is that I was not “connected”. There was no cell phonecoverage away up Rangitata Gorge where we were. A toll bar on the phone allowedfamily to phone us if there was an emergency, but we could not phone out. Ofcourse there was no Internet connection, even though I had my laptop. I foundthis so difficult to start with. At home I so often give up on the mindless TVprograms and go watch a TED talk, check out the latest news and views on thenet, do a blog post and check out other’s blogs and of course there’s Facebook.I read commentaries and theological stuff on line. I have some friends I chatwith on Facebook. I have some overseas contacts I Skype with. But on holiday Icould do none of this. I could not even text. It was so hard to get used to atfirst. Then I remembered that it is not long ago we did not have suchconnectivity! I survived without it! I recognised a sort of addiction to theWorld Wide Web. It has been an interesting experience going cold turkey.

An old bridge on the way up the Rangitata River Gorge. Old people can still be exploring "new territories."

Old implements at Mesopotamia Station.

Written off as too old?
In the car museumthere was an old 1940’s Morris Eight. Somebody had written up the story of thevehicle as if the car was telling the story. It was well done. The car “told”how once she could keep up with the traffic, but then discovered modern carsfound she was nuisance on the road and sped past her. She “told” how for a timeshe had been retired to a farm shed but was now happy to sit in this museumwhere she could see people coming and going. It was a cute story. We drove upto the big sheep/cattle station at the end of the road called Mesopotamia.There and at other farms along they way you could see “retired” farm implementsand vehicles left in the paddock or parked up in farm sheds. I got to thinking,“Is that me?” Am I an old man irrelevant, unsuited to this modern world? Am Ian old “Morris Eight” unsuited to today’s roads? Sometimes the way youngerpeople treat me I get to feel like I am a rusting old implement past my “use-by”date. I am often guilty of such thoughts when I talk to older retired ministers orpeople. They express views and thoughts and I’ll listen, but think, “That’snot the way the world is now! Those issues are old issues.” Maybe I am treatingthem like rusting old implements just as younger people treat me? The funny thingis that I feel I am still growing and really beginning to get a truer handle onlife, faith and humanity. I think, read and reflect and get excited about thedirections my mind is heading, discoveries I make and the connections happeningin my world view. I am still dreaming of new possibilities for a differentshape of “church”, community and world. Outside I am greying and shrinking inmy physical abilities, but inside I am still blossoming. Sometimes too I lookat younger people, young adults and people in their forties, and rather than envy their youth, I feel sad forthem. The priorities they have, the things they get excited about, the waysthey think often seem irrelevant and a waste of life when looked at from thislater stage in life. I am remindedof this when people my age and older are forced to “down size”. We work and slave to gather “things”about us. We feel we are achieving, but very quickly these precious “things”become a nuisance and we can’t even give them away. From this perspective wewonder why we bothered in the first place? I sometimes look at lifestyles and think, "You are sure you are on the right track, and you appear to be enjoying the moment. You would not want advice from an old man, but I have seen the consequences, in health, in relationships and in inner well being down the track." I feel sad because of the paths and priorities often chosen. I often look at younger people andthink, “You think you are so vital and you look down on me and count me out,but from my perspective, you’re investing your precious life in things and causes that ultimatelydon’t matter”. Anyway, I digress,all that to say I don’t feel ready to be an implement parked up! Wisdom,proportion and perspective can happen as we age, and the younger generationsmiss out on so much by writing us older people off as if we know nothing. We older folks can be still dreaming, growing and adventuring.

A worthwhile interlude

2012-01-25T17:32:00.000-08:00

On the shore of Lake Tekapo- Not a bad place to open the thermos flasks of coffee.

The hills around Tekapo.

Blobbing out at Lake Dunstan

We are on holiday awayup the Rangitata River Gorge, in a house about 10k from Mesopotamia Station,the very end of the road in the foot hills of the Southern Alps. The holiday has been planned sincebefore Christmas and we were to spend about nine days here. We interrupted ourholiday to drive about 800 kilometres to visit family. Not long before we leftto come on holiday we received an invitation to my sister-in-law’s surprisesixtieth birthday party, to be held at Cromwell on the Saturday about themiddle of our stay at this house. Our initial reaction was to say we would notgo, we were away in the back country, it is a long distance to drive, we wouldhave to stay away a night which would be more accommodation costs, it would betiring, and after all we are on holiday from a busy “people-filled” lifestyle. In spite of all these thoughts I didnot click on “reply” because I felt uneasy about saying “no”. This sister-in-law has had a rough rideto sixty, with several battles with cancer and other health issues. She hasraised a big family in the process, and also extended love to a number of otherneedy children and young people. Shenow continues to be a big part of her grandchildren’s life. They are sixtysignificant years of living to celebrate. So a day or so before the event whilewe were within cell phone range, we rang to say we would be there.Accommodation was arranged with another brother in Clyde and we decided wewould take the opportunity on the way home to spend time with my wife’s brotherand sister-in-law in Geraldine on the way back. It would be two days out of ourblob-out “stay-clear-of-people” holiday. I was pleased we went for two reasons.

Family are to be valued

We arrived in Cromwellearly in the afternoon and touched base with my brother at his work. (He is areal estate agent) After some refreshments we cruised around the area thenlazed around in the sun on the shore of Lake Dunstan, arriving out at the hallearly. (It was a barbecue meal) We assisted the daughters and families todecorate the hall and then as guests arrived spent the night eating, meetingand talking. I had conducted the weddings of the two daughters who were busy organisingthings. It was great to see them now as mature women, caring for their childrenand carrying on the same loving tradition as their parents. I caught up onnephews also, spending quite a bit of time chatting with one who is single,with challenges in his life, but just so upfront, straight forward and friendly.After assisting a little with the clean up, we drove through to Clyde and spentthe night and much of the next morning with my brother and his wife there. Itwas good to have time to chat; we enjoy their company and perspectives on life.Loaded with gifts from their vegetable garden, we headed back to our isolation,stopping to catch up on my wife’s brother in a rest home in Geraldine. He hasbeen an active man, but in the last couple of years his health has taken a turnfor the worst. He talked of the process of recognising that so many of thethings he loved doing and had dreamed of doing he could no longer do. Otherresidents, who in spite of difficulties were still making something of theirlives, had been an encouragement to him. We spent a brief time around with hiswife, who is working on “down sizing”.

All these people are family. If I got into a theologicaldiscussion with some of them we would differ. They live different lifestylesthan I do, most are much more affluent than I am. There are, however, lots ofshared values, and these people accept me as I am. At the sixtieth one manspoke saying that his association with the Brown family went back to primaryschool days. That’s what I got to thinking. These people we were visiting arefamily. We have journeyed the journey of life together. We have had the samesort of childhood experiences, we have celebrated together, cried together,seen our children grow, been there and heard about each other’s tough times andgood times. While we lived in different parts of the country, and led differentlives there is something special about that long-term history. It was good andworthwhile to make the effort to be with them. I enjoyed their company. Family is important and I am fortunate tohave an extended family made up of some lovely and loving people.

Amazing scenery!

The car’s speedometer toldus we travelled just under 800 kilometres. We drove from our isolated but veryscenic river gorge through to the small mid-Canterbury town of Geraldine. Thereis some lovely farmland all around. From there we went inland again and overBurkes Pass to the beautiful blue lake of Tekapo. Rugged countryside with a backdropof mountains surrounds this lake. We sat on the shore and had a picnic ofcoffee and biscuit bars. Travelling further inland you drive along with a panorama of theSouthern Alps before you. The beautiful blue of Lake Pukaki emerges, withAoraki/ Mount Cook glistening at the head of the lake. (This mountain is thehighest in NZ) The steep rugged hills of the Lindus Pass, with sign posts tovarious sheep stations give an almost frontier feel to the area. Coming out ofthe Lindis, you breakout into flatter Central Otago countryside. There areincreasing numbers of vineyards all around you, Lake Dunstan in the foregroundand rugged mountains in the background. Cromwell is situated on the banks ofLake Dunstan, which used to be two converging rivers until the big hydro-electricdam at Clyde turned it into one big, scenic lake with two arms to it. It is aplayground for water skiers, fishermen and boaties. The whole area has agold-mining history and then featured lots of fruit orchards. Now it isbecoming a centre for viticulture and wine making. The final part of thejourney was to travel down the lake to Clyde. The return trip travelled thesame roads, but the kilometres travelled were no hardship. The scenery wassimply magnificent and we once again appreciated the uncluttered and beautifulcountry we are fortunate enough to live in.

The work of an engineer/builder.

2012-01-21T12:21:00.000-08:00

By the door on top of the meter box of the holiday house we are in a bird builder has constructed her nest.

It is amazing the plaster work and engineering (see the attachments and bracing to the wall)
I think I read somewhere they gather the mud in the beak and transport it to the site! Amazing creatures.

This is one of the old Totara trees in Peel Forest. They can live for 2000 years.

This Totara is thought to be 1000 years old. I love the big root formations.

Not alone...

2012-01-21T03:20:00.000-08:00

I am currently onholiday in Canterbury NZ. We are in the foothills of the Southern Alps, quite along way from anywhere. I cannot get the internet, there is no cell phonecoverage and the nearest shop is nearly an hour’s drive away, along a dusty,windy gravel road. I love internet access and being able to send texts if Iwant to and “people watching” so I have been feeling the distance andisolation, though enjoying the freedom to do simply nothing. The scenery, the vastness and quietness is astounding. Ithink two vehicles have passed by today. There is a braided river, (The Rangitata)mountains in the background and massive shingle covered hills all around.

Today we woke up(eventually) to a strong North West wind, so apart from a little excursion inthe car we have stayed indoors, and both of us have had lazy holiday afternoon“nana naps”. I have read a book today, which is quite good because I am arelatively slow reader. I have felt isolated often because of how I think aboutChurch, Jesus and faith. I sometimes think, “Do I belong in ChristianMinistry?” “Am I still even a Christian?” “Why do I have so many questions andsee so many distortions, yet others seem blissfully unaware?” I bought thisbook the other day, it is by Philip Gulley and is entitled “If the Church wereChristian” with the subtitle of “Rediscovering the Values of Jesus”. It is funny that while I am physicallyso isolated, and I often feel alone in the Church and in Christian ministry, todayI felt “linked”. Philip Gulley asks the same sort of questions as I do! I amNOT alone! Here are the chapter headings…

If the Church were Christian...

1. Jesuswould be a model for living rather than an object of worship

2. Affirmingour potential would be more important than condemning our brokenness.

3. Reconciliationwould be valued over judgement.

4. Graciousbehaviour would be more important than right belief.

5. Invitingquestions would be more important than providing answers.

6. Encouragingpersonal exploration would be more important than communal uniformity.

7. Meetingneeds would be more important than maintaining institutions.

8. Peacewould be more important than power.

9. It wouldcare more about love and less about sex.

10.This lifewould be more important than the afterlife.

In his book heessentially picks up the spirit of Jesus and then puts his ways alongside thepriorities and practices of the Church and finds distortion. He rightly doubtsthat Jesus ever wanted to found another religion. I found in his writing asense that at least one other Christian pastor is asking the sorts of questionsI am troubled with. He simply rang bells for me. Of course I have not done soyet, but apparently you can check him out on www.PhilipGulley.org

I am also reading a book onNZ history, but my next holiday book to read is “God is not a Christian” byDesmond Tutu. Sounds interesting.

I have a problem with women.

2012-01-17T12:36:00.000-08:00

I have a problem withwomen. No it is NOT my usual problem of wandering eyes and “lust of the flesh”etc! My problem is with relating to women. I am sure it stems from myrelationship with my mother. She was, and had to be, a very organised andassertive woman. She never had life easy and was left a widow with fivechildren. My issue is that I find it hard to cope with bossy women who love totell men how to think and what to do.

Women in my life

I am not bereft ofwomen friendships. I have a loving wife. One of my best friends is a woman. Inchaplaincy I have women bosses. I have a woman counsellor/supervisor. ( the poorlady) I have people who come to Space2B who are women who I enjoy a friendshipwith. I enjoy conversations with Maureen, a stroppy good-humoured Irish womanwho runs sustainability courses. I have women I would class as friends inHungary and Australia, so you need to know it is not really a majordebilitating problem. But it is an issue.

Handling Conflict

The problem is reallythat I have a problem with conflict. I am not good at constructive conflictanyway. I shy away from conflict. I often keep quiet when there are issues Idisagree with. Part of this isthat I don’t like the rejection and disharmony disagreement brings. Sometimes I think, “These people are noton my wavelength I will not waste my breath trying to convince them otherwise.”(Jesus said something about “pearls before swine” – though that soundsarrogant.) I often do not do conflict well, waiting till the issue has got bigbefore I express my mind. This problem with conflict is exasperated when theperson I disagree with is a woman. I am never sure how to argue with a woman,especially when it is a subject that engenders strong emotions. I also have aninner reaction to an overbearing woman.

“I’m smiling but inside I’m ….”

Sometimes whendiscussing stuff with a woman I find that they talk to you in a patronisingway. You disagree with them so they say in effect, “Poor you, you must bestressed.” or “Poor you, you have not got the experience in life, to see it thecorrect way.” or “Poor you, your male perspective has distorted yourview.” I want to say, “No! I havea valid point of view. Listen to it and at least respect it as a valid point ofview.” Another patronising thing Ireact to is they will often put on the same parental tone of voice and startgiving advice, or more bluntly, telling you what to do. “You need to….” “You’vegot to…”. Now I don’t know how tosay “Shut up!” to a woman nicely! I just smile, nod my head and say somethinglame like, “Maybe” but inside I am like a rebellious child giving them “thefinger” or screaming, “Don’t tell me what to do!”

Don’t be a mother all the time.

To women I would say,“Don’t be a mother all the time!” Sometimes we men just want an adult-to-adultrelationship, not a parent-to-child relationship. Patronising comments oractions, like a parent would do for a child just gets our backs up. If you treatus like you are the parent and we are the child, do not be surprised if we respondin childish ways. Or, the thingmen most often do, struggling to cope constructively with our reactions, wejust withdraw and stop trying to communicate. (After all, you aretaught not to talk back to your mother.) We then get told off in a mother-like fashion for nottalking! Men want an equal to talk with, not a mother. I realise that womenspend a great deal of time being mothers, but sometimes please make an effortto switch that off! I don’t want another mother; I had one and she raised mewell, stop trying to raise me again! (this does not just apply to husband/wiferelationships, I see the same dynamic happening in all sorts of othermale/female relationships.) Let me give you a relatively harmless example frommy husband/ wife experience. I started driving the car on a sunny day the otherday. My wife was putting sunscreen on herself. Then she continued to putsunscreen on my exposed arms and skin whileI was driving. It was, from her point of view an act of love and kindness.But I reacted. If I was her friend, or sister or her parent she would askfirst, “Would you like some sunscreen?” and respect my response. If I was herchild, she could assume the right to put sunscreen on without asking, after all“Mother knows best.” So when I as an adult am treated as if I was a child, aloving act feels like a belittling act. It feels like she is saying, “You are achild, you don’t know what’s good for you, mother knows best.” That’s whatthese actions, advice and patronising comments often feel like to us men. (It is not just me, I listen to lots ofmen talk about relationships with women) Now I can hear women readers saying,“Well that’s just ridiculous!” To which I would reply, “I rest my case.” Youoften do not respect us guy’s feelings as having any validity. In some waysthat refusal is your loss.

“You’re male therefore inferior”

When I was doing asocial work class one facilitator was doing a word association exercise withus. We had to respond with our first thoughts to words she mentioned. She saidthe words “little boy” and one woman responded immediately, “Potential rapist.”This woman was an ardent feminist though in other ways desperate for malesexual contact. It feels like many women are like that. Any thoughts, feelingsor ways of reacting a male has is to them somehow wrong, immature and inferiorto the ways women react. It is assumed the truly “mature way” to act is the waywomen see things. Men may legitimately see things differently. I went to aworkshop on “bullying in the workplace” run by a woman psychologist. As I satand listened I got to thinking every time a male opens his mouth he could bebranded a bully! The way guys get jobs done and communicate in male workplaceswould be seen as “bullying” by these women. It is not (most often), it is justthe way men communicate, it is just different.Don’t assume men’s way of coping is inferior or wrong- it is just different. Iget annoyed with women who seem to think men do not handle life as maturely asthey do. For example they think we do not feel, because we do not express ourfeelings in the same way as they do. It is just different, hear and respect thedifference.

Let me give you twoexamples. At a workplace there was a group of us guys having lunch together. Wewere all in our late fifties or early sixties. Billy Connelly the Scottishcomedian expressed men’s experience well. He said that when men reach the ageof 50, the Doctor stops looking down your throat and starts to take an“inordinate interest in the other end of a man’s anatomy”. We were a group of guys sitting talkingprostate examinations, prostate biopsies, prostate peeing problems and otherrear end medical examinations. There was a lot of laughter as we sharedexperiences and talked over the issues facing us as we age. Perhaps too we did not use the rightmedical terminology, but it was earnest, honest and open discussion. We werealone in the lunchroom, but in an adjacent area, tucked around an open door,was a woman who obviously could hear our conversation. We were unaware of herpresence. She was called away by the intercom. She stood up stepped into ourroom, levelled her parental eyes on me (as the chaplain in the group) “Well”she said, “At least I won’t have to put up with listening to your dirty conversation.” Then with a sort ofsuperior “humph!” she walked out of the room. One of us spluttered, “We werejust talking men’s problems!” but she wasn’t listening. I wanted to “give herthe finger” and say, “Hey, we have men here open and honest enough to talkseriously through men’s health issues. That is good constructive stuff. Do notput it down because the way we are doing it is different than you would do! Itis good, constructive sharing and caring!” Second illustration. - I was at a professional development day. The facilitator ofthis group was talking about the subject of leaving chaplaincies. She waslaying down “professional boundaries” which may be fair enough, but sometimesChristian care crosses cultural and professional boundaries. She was alsoassuming that we all react to the loss of chaplaincy in the same way and needto deal with it in the same way. The way of course is the way women deal with it. I felt uneasy about itall and by sharing a “what if” story raised a question and my hesitations aboutwhat was being said. The facilitator looked at me over the top of her glassesand said, “That’s not the way it is!” I wanted to scream, “Well it is for me!” In a very firm,mother-knows-best slow determined way she laid down the law. I “smiled andnodded but inside I was giving her the finger!” I was being nice and trying not to undermine her authoritybut I caught the eye of another very experienced guy across the room from meand he openly rolled his eyes in disgust. At the end of the session both he andI were headed out to the toilet. He is a very religious, loving man, but Iheard him sigh as he followed me down the passage. “That is just utter bullshitisn’t it Dave?” he said. “I can’t go along with it. It is women’s crap!” Another man joined us expressing asimilar frustration and we commiserated with each other. As I say, I have a problem with women.I have stopped attending some monthly meetings because for me they feel like awaste of time. Women’s perspectives dominate them and I can’t get into them. Wehave to reflect on how we felt about programmes etc. We have filled outevaluation forms now we regurgitate our feelings on things. What’s done isdone, lets get on and do something else useful! I raised this with my supervisor and she said that I shouldraise it and talk about it. I don’t think I’ll waste my breath, I will getanother “mother-knows-best” lecture and my thinking will be belittled again.

As I say, I have a problemwith women. The older I get the more impatient I get. Anyway that’s my rant.

Funeral for a city? Christchurch today.

2012-01-16T20:51:00.000-08:00

Today in Christchurchwas a lovely sunny day. After a lazy morning we went to the South City Mall tohave some lunch. We then wandered up Colombo Street to see how close to the innercity we could get. The three days after the big earthquake in February lastyear I wandered around the inner-city Central Business District and saw theabsolute devastation that happened. This walk brought back many memories ofthat time. Now as we wandered up Colombo Street there were many gaps and emptysections where buildings had been pulled down. There were empty buildings,damaged buildings and constantly you could hear the noise of cranes andmachinery that is slowly but safely pulling old buildings down. There was abuilding that looked fine, but a crane was being used to empty it of furniturefloor by floor. In the background a big high building with a definite lean onit, has been stripped of a façade and is slowly being pulled apart floor byfloor. As we stood by wire fences the historic façade of an old iconic buildingwas being chewed away by a massive machine that a little boy standing watchingsaid, “Looks like a dinosaur!” There were people like us coming down the road to watch the machines orperhaps see the damage. Quite a crowd was at each vantage point, many takingphotos.

A quiet reverence

The thing that hit me was that there was a quiet reverence as peoplewatched. It was a cheerful summer’s day, with people in bright summer attire, (Gee the young women are wearing low tops and short dresses or shorts this season! - not that I was looking.) but there was a certain sadness that hung in the air as we watched the buildingsbeing destroyed, and as we stood amongst empty buildings yet to be destroyed.People when they spoke did so in whispers and walked away in silence. Had webeen standing where a year and a half ago there would have been bustling, busy traffic,with shoppers and office workers going madly about their business. Buskers would have been playing inthe streets, music playing from shops and the constant clatter of walking feet andconversation. Now it was deserted, except for these people who looked likemourners at a funeral. It was an interesting experience.

Rebuild

I hope the city willbe able to rebuild something positive again. While I would not want to live inChristchurch, it is a lively city with a particular culture and ethos. It wouldbe a shame if NZ lost that. There are so many old churches destroyed. My wife and I got talking. If we were ministering in one of those churches, what would you do with the insurance or earthquake commission payout? Would you do a building focused on a worship centre? Would it be a more community orientated building? It would be a challenging dilemma. Perhaps it is an opportunity for the Churches to become more "real"?

The Old Farmhouse

2012-01-13T21:12:00.000-08:00

I made this old sign that hung over the door. We still have it amongst our junk.

TheOld Farmhouse – how we got it.
I graduated from Glen Iris TheologicalCollege (Melbourne) in 1975 and began a six-year ministry in Palmerston NorthChurch. I think it was in ourfirst year there a combined picnic was organized between the Palmerston NorthChurch and the Wanganui Church. Somebody sorted out a friendly farmer abouthalfway between and we gathered in a paddock on his property, right by a standof native trees and bush and next to a big old farmhouse. The farmer,somebody’s relative, wandered amongst us chatting. He lived in a modern house down by the road. This oldfarmhouse was the original where he had grown up. It had been divided into twopossible flats when he and his bride shared it with his mother and father, butwas now opened up into one very BIG old house. The old style kitchen (coalrange) could fit a table tennis table so that you could play and still have therange burning. We got talking to the farmer about the house. It was rented outto some shady characters who were due to come before court for growing drugs.He had given them notice. “What are you going to do with it then? Rent it outagain?” we were cheeky enough to ask. “No” he replied, “It’s not too flashinside and we have only had trouble from tenants. I’ll use it to storeimplements and tools. I might cut a hole in the side and use it as a hayshed.” We went home and could notget this farmhouse out of our mind. We decided to be extra cheeky. We workedout we had three weeks holiday each year. To camp in camping grounds for thosethree weeks we would have to pay more than $500. We could holiday at thisfarmhouse. It could be a getaway place for us. We wrote to the farmer and askedif we could pay him $10 a week all year and use it when we were able. We knewwe were being cheeky, but it would be better than it being wrecked as a hayshed. To our surprise he said “yes” invited us across for a meal and the dealwas done. We had two small children, but knew more would be coming. Wefurnished it with old second hand bunks, chairs and stuff. A cracked old Tabletennis table from the Church went down there.

So many memories

The house was well used. We usedit for holidays. We would go there (it was 26 miles out of town) and just blobout for lovely lazy summer holidays. Often the weather was hot and it was agreat place to stay, read books, play with the kids and rest. Family fromfurther afield would come and stay, there was always plenty of room. (It hadheaps of bedrooms) There was a swimming hole in the river nearby, the stand ofbush for the kids to play in and just a lovely lazy atmosphere. The farmer grewpeas and invited us to gather peas from what was left after the harvestingmachines had been through. We gathered enough peas for ourselves and otherfamilies to freeze for a year’s supply. I have a lovely memory of my little boy kicking his way through the long grass in the paddock singing at the top of his voice. We had youth camps there, with forty ofus crammed into its rooms. I recall the kids spending hours with an old airrifle of mine shooting macracapa tree nuts off fence posts and gates. Another time we made a circuit among thetrees and one of the young guys had us taking turns riding his motorbikearound. The atmosphere was so great, like a big family home. The parents wouldcome on the Sunday afternoon, have afternoon tea, a barbeque evening meal andtake their kids home. In the Church there were a number of young marriedcouples with small children, just like us. Every now and then we would gettogether and go down to the old farmhouse after work on a Friday. We would justblob out there enjoying each other’s company. We had a stereo and music, we wandered in the bush, coupleswould take time out together, knowing their kids were looked after.. it wasjust a great place to be. The farmer would park his tractor in the old orchardnext to the house and say, “If the kids want to play on it let them.” We wouldoften invite him and his kids for the evening meal. I would go in and take the service on the Sunday and come back out for lunch. Sometimesother church members would come out for the Sunday afternoon. We would all drift back to townsometime on Sunday evening. Burned out ministers would ring up and say, “Wehave a weekend off, can we use your farmhouse?” We used it once for a marriageenrichment weekend. There was a guru from Australia (Kevin Harvey) who was torun a weekend in fancy accommodation in Wellington. It turned out that therewere not enough registrations so it was cancelled. We registered, my brotherand his wife registered and my wife’s brother and his wife. Instead ofcancelling out right, we all went to the old farmhouse with Kevin and his wifeand had a great time. We got our $10 a week worth out of the Old Farmhouse.

SensuousFarmhouse memories

We as a family would spend long summer daysthere. We were in our twenties and early thirties, had been married for anumber of years, but were still very virile. Our favourite song was Billie JoeSpeirs, “Blanket on the ground”. For three weeks we would wear the minimum ofclothing, swim down by the river, sometimes with less on. We, as a couple, wereso relaxed we could hardly keep our hands off each other during the day. Atnight after the children were in bed, no TV, warm nights (we could light a bigfire if it was cool) in an isolated farmhouse, what else was there for a youngcouple to do? We lit candles and incense sticks and enjoyed night after nightof imaginative, long, relaxed and playful lovemaking. We’d sometimes take turnsat having a daytime nap to make up for the late nights. (I had decided early inmy marriage that if I was going to get the quality and quantity of sex Idesired, I would have to make sure we were both enjoying it to the full.) Theywere extra special holidays that we look back on with fond memories.

Coitusinterrupted – two Farmhouse stories

We had my wife’s sister and family stayingwith us one holiday. It was a warm moonlit night so we asked if they couldbabysit while we went for a walk. We wandered hand in hand across the paddockto the patch of trees and bush. We sat on the grass in a clearing and talked.Intimate conversation led to physical intimacy. But wait… “What was thatnoise?” Probably just a twig dropping through the branches… carry on… moreclothing lost.. “What’s that?” more noises. … carry on… then the unmistakablesound of heavy breathing that was louder than our own! We looked through thegloom. Definitely heavy breathing! May be two lots of heavy breathing? Therewere dark shadowy figures in the bush? This certainly dampened our lovemakingand gathering up our clothing we rushed across the paddock back to thefarmhouse, stopping briefly inside the gate to dress before walking calmly intothe lounge as if nothing had happened. We discovered the next day that theneighbour’s cattle had broken the fence and come through the bush into thepaddock. Second story… We hadholidayed briefly in Auckland with friends, but had our car stolen while wewere there. The police told us it was probably stolen for parts and that wewould never see it again. We hired a car and drove back to Palmerston Northwhere we had another little car. We went out to the Old Farmhouse to finish ourholiday. It was on the Friday evening after dinner, we tucked the kids into bedand retired to the lounge, candles and incense sticks etc. We were enjoying ourselveswhen we thought we heard the noise of a car. We peeked out the window and sureenough a car was travelling up the long drive from the gate and was alreadyalmost coming through the orchard! Whatto do? -Blow out candles, throw out incense sticks, return lounge to look likea lounge, gather discarded lingerie and clothing, get dressed in respectableclothing, and (calmly) welcome the visitors. (phew!) It was two elders andtheir wives. They had received a message that the police had found our car inAuckland and wanted to let us know. (There were no cell phones in the 70’s) Theirwives had made some nice supper to bring with them and they had driven downfrom town for a friendly sociable visit to the Old Farmhouse. I don’t know if they ever guessed whatthey interrupted?

One of the crowds of people enjoying the backyard of the old farmhouse.

Post script

Two things follow this story. After wefinished there the friendly farmer sold the farm, and later got into a spot ofbother and took his own life. We were very sad about that. We have visited thespot since and were pleased that the person who presently owned the propertyhad restored the old farmhouse to its original glory and it looked like thestately mansion it was up on the hill overlooking the farm. We would loved tohave been able to see inside it.

We are going on holiday to an isolatedfarmhouse. (I doubt the same things will happen with the same intensity at ourage) It brings back memories of our old Farmhouse.

Inspiring and encouraging
I enjoyed this TED talk. Hope you do.

Isolation or engagement

2012-01-13T12:36:00.000-08:00

Beautiful isolation
Before Christmas we began to think about where we should holiday. We felt we wanted to be nearer to Christchurch because of my brother-in-law's then condition. (He has since died) My wife declared she would like to visit Peel Forest so I google accommodation near there. One of the options was a farm house type place half an hour from Peel Forrest up the Rangitata River Gorge. Without checking exactly where it was we booked it for nine nights. It was only on Thursday that we actually narrowed down exactly where it is. It is away up in the foot hills of the Southern Alps, a long way from civilization, down a long gravel road, half an hour from cell phone coverage... it is isolated sheep station country. There is a short walk to a swimming hole in the river. There are walking tracks and mountain views all around, but it is a long drive on a gravel road to go anywhere. I guess we did not really want somewhere that was that isolated, but we will enjoy it. We will take books to read, we will just blob out, once we get there it will be good. We will recharge our batteries for the year ahead. We used to holiday at an old Farmhouse during our first ministry in NZ. We also lived for a time in a place called Apiti which was an isolated village in the North Island so we will survive.

"Re-charging batteries"
People assume that you have to withdraw to recharge batteries. There is a place for withdrawal, that is what my walks up the mountain are. Our house is a place of withdrawal, out of town a bit so we are not inundated with visitors. But I also find there is energy in engagement. As I encounter people's lives I am energised to make a difference. I sit and talk at chaplaincies and see people living superficial, selfish lifestyles, getting into relationship and inner messes because of that. Because of these needs I see I have a growing desire to encourage and model the more fulfilling living that I see in Jesus. Reflection on the needs, while I am engaged motivates me to keep going. So there needs to be a balance between engagement and isolation. Engagement prompts useful reflection during periods of isolation I suspect.

Let me suggest another aspect of this dilemma. I recall reading of churchmen in the middle ages discussing such useful stuff as "How many angels can fit on a pin head?" I often get annoyed at fellow clergy being wrapped up in an ecclesiastical and academic world that seems to have little to do with the realities of life. Too much isolation, with an unwillingness to be engaged can mean we get distracted into trivialities. Sometimes these can be trivialities of Church life, of doctrine or of emphasis. When I sit in meetings with ministers and they are talking about the things they talk about, I often wish I could dump them in the mess at the fire station, or have them sit amongst people in the drop-in centre for a while, or ride with ambulance staff, then see if their priorities don't change.

Anyway in a while I'll experience nine days of isolation. I spent $180 on books (A book voucher given me) just in case it rains. It will be like our "Old Farmhouse" days. I'll tell you about those next post.

Vitality and frailty

2012-01-10T12:20:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning at about 9:30 a.m. I started to dig over a patch of garden that had been just sitting for a year or so. It is at least 20 square metres. (3.7 metres x 5.8) I dug and kept digging on what was quite a hot day, breaking the soil up and clearing weeds as I went. I stopped for lunch about 1 p.m. and by that time I was feeling dehydrated and my muscles were aching. After a break I went out and finished it. I was pleased with myself. I've still got it! Even though my exercise program has been hit and miss last year, I was still pleased I could do a big physical job and stick at it. (Last night I discovered sunburn and a couple of blisters on my hands though) I felt good about that effort. The day before I had set to and fixed a mechanical problem in my old Nissan. It had stopped working when we returned from Christchurch. I was quite pleased to be able to diagnose the issue, dismantle the part, test it, buy a replacement and put everything back together again. I have weeded my big patch of vegetables, cut long grass and done other manual labouring jobs. I am enjoying just plain physical work. It invigorates me and is a good part of my holidaying.

Today I go to hospital for a biopsy. The blurb from the day surgery unit at the hospital calls it a "procedure". - Translated that means they are going to do horrible things to me. It says there will be "mild discomfort". - Translated that means its going to hurt like hell. They tell me I will not be able to drive home and I have to be with "a responsible adult" for 24 hours. I had one of these a few years ago and it was not a nice experience. I was talking to an older man the other day and it seems like I'll be having one every few years from now till when I die. That is, of course, if they do not discover prostate cancer in the process. (I have been waiting for this one for over 6 months. If I have cancer I suspect it would have exhibited itself by now??)

Yesterday I felt like a young man able to tackle physical work in the same way I always used to. Today I feel like a frail old man on the slippery slope toward the end of life. Life is weird.

When I was in Christchurch on the morning of my brother-in-law's funeral my wife and I called to see my sister. My brother and wife from Australia had arrived and were staying in the house opposite. We saw them through the window and called on them briefly before venturing into my sister's home. When we did they admitted their thoughts when they saw us pull up and get out of our car. Apparently, when looking out the window, my sister-in-law said to my brother, "It's an elderly couple calling to see Katherine." They are older than me! (they dye their hair) I chuckled at the comment but felt like saying, "We'll go for a jog around the block and see who is elderly!" Even with arthritis problems my wife can leave younger women behind with long hours of physical work. (e.g. looking after a big vegetable garden, lawns and animals as well as doing hours of voluntary work at the ED department at the hospital and the likes of our big Christmas dinner.)

When do you "gracefully let go the things of youth" and accept your old age status? I guess for the next couple of days I'll feel a bit frail. Wish me luck.

Sunday Church and lazy thinking.

2012-01-09T01:01:00.000-08:00

My last service before holidays
On Sunday 1st of January I felt pretty low about the Sunday service. This last Sunday I felt better. Before Christmas I had to pre-record a radio Church service for this Sunday. I had looked at the main reading (the baptism of Jesus) and bounced off that to give some thoughts about why we do such things as baptism, communion and going to Church worship. I reflected on why Jesus, at the beginning of his ministry might want to go through John's baptism. In brief I said that baptism, communion and worship were "navigation points" for us in the journey of life, where we remind ourselves what's important and where we are going. Reflecting on Jesus' experience I said that in such things (a) we talk to ourselves remind ourselves of who we are. (b) we talk to each other and others highlighting that there are deeper, important aspect to life that need our attention... and (c) through these things God or "the sacred" speaks to us. After last week I found myself questioning whether it was worth putting effort into running church services. About Tuesday I picked up the notes from my "radio church" service, reread the outline and thought, "I need this message as much as anyone else!" I redid it, added various other elements and that was the heart of our Sunday service. With it being my final service before my annual holidays I rather selfishly chose hymns I liked and inserted two relevant country and western songs. (Waylon Jennings "I do believe" and a CD of "The Baptism of Jesse Taylor" by Johnny Russell.) I think from rapport while I was leading and the feedback after the service people found it meaningful, helpful and enjoyable. As I have been writing this I have received an email thanking me for the service and saying that it was "outstanding". Confidence restored.
Welcome Collegiality
A couple visiting the service were very encouraging. The wife did an "internship" with me several years ago when quite late in life she was doing ministerial and theological studies in preparation for becoming a minister. We worked together over a six month period and we "clicked". We had many animated discussions about ministry, theology and "church" and found we were on a similar wave length. We enjoyed working together. Her husband's mother is a member of my church so I get to see them at least once a year when they visit the South Island.. Straight after the service she came up to me and we caught up on what each was doing. We so easily slipped into comfortable, excited, warm conversation for about 10 minutes. While I have not had the same working relationship with him, her husband also is on a similar wavelength so I later had a conversation with him. Our sharing was encouraging, affirming and renewed the sense of being on the same journey together. There are few ministers I "click" with, but when I do I appreciate it very much. It was a welcome "drink of fresh water". As she left she said simply "See you next year... go well!"
Emphatic Generalizations... Grrr!
I get annoyed so often with people who make generalizations. I often find this at the drop-in centre. People will say things like, "All Asians are bad drivers" or "Its all the Government's fault!" or "Bloody Gays, kiddy fiddlers!" or "We know what Catholic priests are like!" or such things. There are often so many statements like this, perhaps not so blatant, said in conversations I have in drop-in centre, our Space2B, amongst Church people or in Chaplaincies. These generalizations would not stand any real critical examination. The difficult thing is that they are often said in such an emphatic way that to question them you would start World War Three! I will often say in a sort of limp fashion, "Oh I don't think it is as simple as that!" or some other questioning statement. To really analyse the subject being raised would take some detailed thought and discussion, so often it is easier to just let it slide. But it annoys me!
What does annoy me too is that often, because they are said so emphatically, people take heed. Politicians and religious leaders can get away with blue murder by making emphatic, simplistic generalizations and lazy thinkers are drawn to them because they seem to be "leadership material", people who know what they think and believe. True leaders and thinkers, think more carefully, critically and analytically about things but many people do not have the interest, the energy or will power to follow their more detailed, but accurate thought. We need to recognise that life is NOT simple. Understanding people and society is not an easy thing. We ARE all different. A part of being real and honest in life is to say, "Look I don't know!" or "This is complicated and needs more thought!' or "There are wider implications!" or "There are different approaches needed for different people." But such statements, while real, honest and probably more constructive, do not engender "confidence" and so people prefer to give and to listen to inaccurate generalizations.
Education and wisdom should lead us not to make generalizations. Glen Turner, one of the best NZ cricket batsmen from the past has talked about cricketers practicing in the nets. He emphasised that as well as practicing to hit balls, they need to practice to leave balls, or let balls go. He maintained that for test cricket in particular, batsmen need to know when not to hit, and build that into their psyche. Education, as well as giving us knowledge, and teaching us how to problem solve and analyse, should also enable us to know what and when we don't know. We need to be ready to recognise and admit complexity and the unknown. Too many times we try to bluff our way through with emphatic statements which sound good, but only muddy the waters more. It is more constructive to be willing to say "It's complicated." or "I don't know" or at least put our generalizations in the form of questions. "Perhaps Asian drivers find it hard adapting to our roads?" A fun verse which I have had scribbled on a bit of paper may be relevant...
A wise old owl lived in an oak
The more he saw the less he spoke.
The less he spoke the more he heard,
Why can't we be like that wise old bird?

That's my beef for tonight.

An inspiring brave politician? Can this be true?

2012-01-06T17:26:00.000-08:00

I loved this speech by Russell Norman, the leader of the New Zealand Green Party in Parliament. I wish I had the same sort of depth and clarity of thought. He really is too good to be a parliamentarian. I voted for Labour in both the local candidate and party options. But the Green Party is probably where I belong. Watch his speech, it is worth the 15 minutes. It has inspired and encouraged me on a day when I have been struggling with depression. In my experience he has a better grasp of the way of Jesus than most Church-going-Christians and their leaders have. Here is a transcript of the most "universal" part, before he gets into NZ politics.

The context: the Christmas story

We're about to break for Christmas, a time for family, sleeping in, barbeques, trips to the beach, and spending time with our mates and family.

We will work hard and smart to repay the faith you’ve put in us to deliver a richer New Zealand with a smart green economy that works for everyone.

Our Christmas holiday has its roots firmly in the Jewish and Christian traditions. It's based on a pretty amazing story about the birth of Jesus Christ — "God in the flesh" as many Christians believe.

The story of the incarnation of God in a baby born in a stable is remarkable even to me, an atheist, because it's a story about the distant God of the heavens coming down to live amongst us on earth.

It's a story about that god decreeing that tyranny on earth and utopia in the afterlife is not acceptable and that freedom and equality must characterise life here on earth as well as the afterlife in heaven. It's a story of the birth of new hope.

The Christmas story tells us that a saviour of humanity came not as some great warrior or prince but wrapped instead in swaddling cloth — a baby born amongst farm animals, and in absolute poverty.

You know the rest. The shepherds in the field saw a bright star and followed it. Three wise men turned up with expensive-sounding gifts.

The baby grew up a carpenter in ancient Palestine, stirred up a lot of trouble later as a young man, and was executed by crucifixion, under Pontius Pilate, during the reign of Tiberius Caesar, as legend has it, sometime around 30AD.

But the story doesn't end there. After his death, the new hope that sprang from the stable in Bethlehem started to gather steam. Religious and political elites were threatened by the wild growth of a new religious sect committed to living out here on Earth the values of their God, once worshiped from afar.

The early Christians shared their resources and lived with greater equality amongst themselves than had earlier been known.

They believed that the world on earth could be a better place for ordinary people. Countless Christians were martyred for their faith, such was the threat that they posed to the ruling political and religious elites.

By 112AD, even the farmers cursed Christ's influence; Christian beliefs on idolatry were causing a slump in agricultural markets as people challenged the need to buy animals for ritual sacrifice to Roman emperors or gods.

Two thousand years later the story of the brief life of Jesus Christ still resonates.

This is why Christmas is still such an enduring part of our culture. Christmas was the start of some unlikely trouble and the start of new hope.

How the story touches me

I'm not a Christian, and there is not historical certainty about the records in the Christian Bible. But what I admire about the Christmas story is that it speaks to values I share, including some that make me feel a little uneasy speaking from this place of privilege and power. I think you'll agree we're pretty far away from a Palestinian stable.

But like all parents, perhaps particularly those newly acquainted with the role, the story of change arriving in the form of a baby has resonance in my life.

And whether we're parents, grandparents, aunties, or friends, in our children we find our own awe at the beauty of our planet; they show us what it is to be truly open minded, and in their ferocious capacity to learn and grow and change we see that things could truly change and be better.

This Christmas we wish for all our babies to have their unquestioning need for love generously met; we wish that all our children are treated with patience and understanding, trust and commitment. And we wish that all our parents have the time, support and resources necessary to give our children the best start in life.

And for us here in Parliament, I wish that we have the intelligence and compassion to choose to make things better for those who depend on us to make the right calls.

Christmas as a way to understand what really matters in life

Mahatma Gandhi said this about Jesus Christ: "I believe that Jesus belongs not only to Christianity but to the entire world, to all races and to all people."

Ghandi was right. The hopes and values Jesus Christ articulated during the course of his short life are too important to belong only to Christians. They belong to us all: believers and non-believers alike. They live within us. They are embedded in our culture. They are reflected in most of the world's major religions.

These are the values that help to lay down the essential nature of what it means to be human and guide us to live a 'good' life — good to ourselves, good to one another, and good to the world in which we make our livelihoods.

I identify with the Christianity that teaches love and compassion towards each other, especially the most vulnerable — the widows, the orphans, the sick, and those in prison. Those values inspired some of the world's first hospitals, orphanages, universities, and reforms to the way we treat those who've broken the law.

I also identify with the Christianity that demands we live with truth and justice between one another. Those values challenged the status quo on slavery in Great Britain and moved Martin Luther King to march for equal rights for African Americans.

And here, in our home, it was through applying those same values that Michael Joseph Savage turned the state on its head in an attempt to offer cradle to grave security from poverty and despair. In fact, the very first act of the new Savage Government was to grant a special Christmas bonus payment to the unemployed. Now there was a true moment of Christmas in this Parliament that gave birth to a new hope that our political economy could be bent to protect the vulnerable. That was applied Christianity.

Finally, I identify with the Christianity that teaches an awe and respect for the natural world. The Christianity that says tread sacredly through nature because God incarnated himself in the world through the person of Jesus Christ. St Francis of Assisi wrote sermons for the birds and taught us to live simply and value nature for its own sake. Listen to the dying words of Father Zosima, a character in the last work of Fyodor Dostoevsky, the great Christian novelist:

Love all God's creation, the whole and every grain of sand in it. Love every leaf, every ray of God's light. Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, … you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love.

[The Brothers Karamazov]

The undermining of those values in the pursuit of economic growth

Those values of love, generosity, and a reverence for nature should not sound so out of place in this Parliament.

But the talk in here is dominated by a different kind of worship — one of economic growth, at all costs. We heard this mantra yet again today in the speech from the throne.

Today the Government said a strong economy provides the resources to then protect the vulnerable and the environment. But compassion shouldn't be conditional.

The protection of the vulnerable and the environment are necessary preconditions for a successful, fair and sustainable economy.

The economic and political agenda announced today undermines the values that we celebrate.

What's worse, we still have a virtually universal agreement in this House that mindless economic growth is the overriding purpose of government, if not society itself.

There is little discussion about the quality of that growth, the costs of that growth, or how we might share the benefits and costs more fairly. There is precious little discussion of how we could possibly have never ending growth in resource use and pollution on a planet which is ultimately finite.

Other parties in this House continue to represent the elite economic and social consensus of the 1980s and 1990s Labour and National governments in which we aim to maximise GDP growth and hope that trickle down will mean those at the bottom get a few crumbs. Thirty years later and many of our families are still waiting for the trickle down.

Even our private banking system can bring the world to its knees and escape largely unchanged from the melt down. The Westpac CEO earned a $5.4 million salary this year, which included a $260,000 tax cut — an early Christmas present from the government. Why is this Parliament giving taxpayer-funded Christmas bonuses to the obscenely wealthy and not the poor?

Christ didn't accept that gross inequality is inevitable and neither should we; isn't it time we turned the money tables over in the temple once again?

Our current political and business worldview has become so focused on endless growth that it has to conveniently ignore the increasing social and environmental collateral damage that comes from mindless growth without values.

This Parliament has for the last thirty years conveniently ignored things like runaway climate change, increasing inequality, declining water quality, and growing debt.

The unqualified pursuit of growth of any kind is no longer delivering the kinds of advantages it once did, at least not to most people.

We need to grow renewable energy not inequality and greenhouse emissions.

And international organisations like the OECD, the IMF, and the UN are starting to reflect this change of heart as they increasingly document and question the environmental sustainability of economic growth at any cost and the growing inequality within developed societies as wealth is further concentrated even as our economies grow.

Inequality

We know better outcomes in health, education, happiness, and social trust are no longer correlated with growing levels of GDP in developed countries.

If the Government's measure of progress was expanded from simple changes in GDP to include social and environmental indicators, it would be pretty clear that in nearly every other measure of "progress", we, as a society, have gone backwards.

Our problem is not so much about earning more; it's about sharing what we do earn more fairly. We could earn more as a country but still be poorer if that wealth isn't shared around. The evidence is striking: less unequal means living longer, healthier, safer lives. And that's true for all of us, not just those at the bottom of the heap. More sharing is good for everyone. It's the big differences in wealth within our society that drive many of the major problems that now bedevil us. And it's not just about equality of opportunity. It's about equality of outcome.

It is not surprising that societies that allow their economic systems to produce great inequality are socially dysfunctional. How could a society be any other than dysfunctional when our society is deeply at odds with our fundamental values of caring and compassion for one another?

When those on the very top earn closer to those on the very bottom, suddenly everyone is better off: We live longer, we suffer less from mental illness, we're less violent, we trust more, we lock up fewer people, we have better health, we have higher levels of social mobility, we live with less fear.

I believe in a society like that, where we trust one another and look after one another — where we are our 'brother's keeper', not their bitter rival.

Good stuff Russell Norman... You are a brave statesman.. I hope "they" don't cut you down like we have a tendency to do with such people.

Embarrassing Church service.

2012-01-04T21:03:00.000-08:00

I have just finished doing some work toward this coming Sunday's church service. I get to thinking, "What's the use? Why put so much effort into it?" After last Sunday's, the first of the year, I thought, "Do I really want to do this for another year?". I'll tell you about that experience.

I had been upstairs mixing briefly with people after the service, but I "escaped" downstairs to my office. I sat there eyes glazed over, depressed as, playing solitaire on the computer. My daughter came into the office, took one look at me and said, "Are you hiding?" I was. At that point I did not want to take another service ever. It had been quite a week. Because of Christmas I had a week off leading a service. Instead we had our big Christmas Day Community dinner which, while exhausting, is always an adrenilan rush and a high. We had celebrated Christmas together as a family, I had been on a short enjoyable tramp with my son and on the Tuesday my brother-in-law had died. I went to Christchurch and spent three days working on and conducting the funeral, which had gone well. On Saturday I drove home and attended an 80th birthday party on New Years eve. Then on Sunday I led the Sunday service. I was aware that while I had good feedback from people, it was not my best. It was not as creative as I would have wanted. So to some extent I felt I had short changed my people, but that could not be helped given the week. It is also one of the smaller services of the year, so that did not help. But the thing that upset me most was the music. It was organ music, like we have every Sunday. Now most of the people of the church are older and find that acceptable. I don't particularly like organ music, but that's my taste, and I feel like I have no choice but to go with the flow. This time, because of the eightieth birthday I was attending there was a big family of teenagers through to twenty one year olds visiting. Their parents used to be in the youth group I led here years ago. They are a good religious family and I know that in the church they attend back home the music would be guitars, drums, lively and upbeat. I appreciate that when they are back in town, even though we do not have the same style, they turn up to worship, and they took up a whole clump of the front pews in the church. Every song we sang as the organ cranked up I looked at this line up of fine young people, and sensed that they were looking at each other, stiffling giggles, or groans at what to them is old time quaint music. Now I probably would not like the theology in the songs they sing back in their church, but I could sense their unease, and wished we could have some more upbeat instruments. Because of this and because I was aware I was not firing as well as I would want, I felt embarrassed to be up front leading the service. I got to thinking, if these motivated religious people feel so out of step with our music, we have a snowball's chance in hell of attracting anyone under thirty! For that reason when I began mixing with people after the service, somebody said something that reinforced my feeling of depression and embarrassment and I just had to escape. So down to the office to find consolation in solitaire I went. It depresses me that few others care! Of course it is fine for them, they justifiably don't mind the music as it is. But I would love to be able to reach younger people! Those we have attracted have left after a short time. We have not got other musicians in the membership, so without extra effort we cannot change even if we wanted to. But last Sunday I was asking, "What's the use? Why do I put so much effort into each week's service? We'll not make any headway." My daughter wisely pointed out that there were other good things happening in the church and these things are worth the effort. But last Sunday, and even now I am struggling with depression about this part of ministry. I need to add that I did not stay in the office, I stopped playing solitaire, toughened up and went up and mixed and mingled again as if nothing was bothering me.

Anyway, this afternoon I came back to the office from chaplaincy and started working on Sunday's service, and began to wonder, "If the people I had been talking to in chaplaincy fronted up to worship, how would they feel?" Then depression hit again, so you dear reader get to hear my unloading. Sorry.

The cost of dying

2012-01-03T01:07:00.000-08:00

Scything grass

Today I decided to tackle some long grass down in the back vegetable garden area. I began with my line trimmer. It was cutting the grass OK but having trouble. The long grass would get tangled in the spinning head. The line would get wrapped around thick stems of plants and the cut grass was hard to get out of the way. The noisy motor and bits of grass flying every where made me give up using it. I dug in my workshop and brought out this old scythe. I got a sharpening stone and sharpened up the blade. I found it much more pleasant slowly working away with this old tool. I never have got to use it as well as I should, but it is not unpleasant to use. You stretch your muscles and raise a sweat, but it is not noisy with bits of grass and dust flying everywhere. I was once cutting long grass at the property we had at Apiti. My brother-in-law Bob (who just turned 80 the other day) arrived and picked up the scythe. He sharpened it, adjusted the handles and blade and started slowly, rhythmically swinging it. With each swish of the blade a cleanly cut pile of grass fell at the end of the stroke. It looked so easy. He told me how. "Don't try to cut too much. Go with the 'grain' of the grass, see which way it is leaning. Keep the blade flat." I managed a little and got into a rhythm, but not as smoothly as he did. He was beautiful to watch. I enjoyed trying. I suppose it is a dying art? They used to cut lawns with a scythe and have them looking nice and flat. Maybe sometimes machines are not progress? It was certainly more enjoyable scything than fighting with the noisy line trimmer, even though I don't do it with the same rhythm and ease that Bob did.
Funeral Directors
With my involvement in my brother-in-law's funeral I heard that the final funeral director bill will come to somewhere between $7000 and $8000. (I was not impressed with the style of the funeral director involved.) We actually did quite a lot of stuff the funeral director would normally do. The coffin was not an expensive showy one. I think his services are not worth that much money! My Aussie brother knows of an Australian Funeral Director who only charges under $2000. I think funeral directors rip us off! I would not like their job, but it really seems quite steep for the amount of work involved. I put at least 8 hours, most probably more like 15 hours into every funeral I do. The going rate paid to ministers is around $150 which works out to be a pretty small hourly rate. (I choose not to charge for funerals anyway)

That's life!

2012-01-01T01:16:00.000-08:00

The week.

My brother-in-law, Alex Webster whose funeral I led. A big man with a big heart.

Some Christmas dinner pics.

Our Community Christmas day dinner feels like it was a long time ago, there has been so much in this week. (well I guess it was last year now?) We had family from up north staying. A tramp across the Dunedin hills with my son on Tuesday and a family birthday. Then on Tuesday afternoon I learned of the death of my brother-in-law. On Wednesday morning I drove the 362 kilometres to Christchurch (I took 4 hours - google maps suggested 5.5?) and sat in on the meeting of the funeral director with my sister and family. I spent the rest of the day speaking and listening with members of the family. On Thursday I worked all day on stuff for the funeral and on Friday, some more preparation then I conducted it, except we called it a "celebration". On Saturday we drove home to attend another brother-in-law's 80th birthday party. Today I led the normal Sunday morning service.
A Christmas dinner stories
There is a man who was a fire fighter when I first began as chaplain at the fire stations. He now contracts to the fire service for running special virtual training sessions. I had been talking to him at the fire station and he said he might call at our Christmas dinner. Well he called in early and later came back, installed himself at the kitchen sink and washed copious quantities of dishes. I discovered him in the kitchen joking with my wife and a lovely Indian lady we have at church. He kept at it long after most blokes would give up, then he went to a family Christmas event where he said he would probably have to do more dishes. As we shook hands warmly I thanked him and he thanked me. The Christmas day dinner was full of stories like that. A lady well into her eighties who has not long recovered from a broken hip, came and dished out meals. Last year her husband said they thought it would be the last year they would assist, but no, in spite of difficulties they were there this year to give a helping hand. I talked to one younger man. I asked him how many of our Christmas dinners he had volunteered at. He said, "This is number 15... I love it!" We have a guy who I think has probably attended every Christmas day dinner. He used to be the street sweeper in town. He came to me and said, "I haven't put my name down. Is it alright if I come?" "Yes Ken, we'll have a meal for you!" I replied. "I knew you would Dave." I later spoke to him and as he looked at the multitude he said, "I remember coming when there was only 50 here!"
The funeral
I feel so sad for my sister. She had only had less than three years of marriage with this man she really loved. For the last year of that at least, he had been battling cancer. I had to lead the funeral. I do a lot of work for every funeral I lead but this one was different. How would I cope with my sister's sadness while leading the funeral? I was struggling with sadness myself, and added to that was a deep sense of guilt that I had not got back up to Christchurch to see Alex before he died! I spent a lot of time at the house listening to my sister and others and getting what they wanted in what we were calling a "celebration". I worked on the funeral service, stewing over every word, shaping it to include the various elements they wanted included. There were a number of speakers and an open time was planned. I also felt it was necessary to talk about unfair suffering and death and some perspectives on "life after death", ever so briefly. When I got to the Church I decided on taking a different approach. Instead of standing behind the lectern in a formal way, I thought I would stand beside the communion table or lectern and be more open, informal or inclusive in my approach. It would mean less dependency on my notes but I thought it would allow me to be more "with" the mourners. It was a risk, but I thought it worth taking. I grew even more nervous when I recognised at least six other ministers in the congregation! "They are going to think I am nuts! This is not the "normal" way to conduct a funeral." I thought to myself, but I still felt compelled to do it. There were well around 120 people there. Here is some of the feedback I got. "That was superb!" "That was an awesome service." "It was simply beautiful" "You are an expert communicator." "You touched people in a very real way." "That was spot on! Just so helpful." "It was so genuine and real." "I found it to be a very healing service." "You talked in a way that non-church goers could identify with it." etc. etc. While I was leading I felt good about the vibes. People were "with me and with each other". The funeral was well led, it was effective ministry to people. I felt I did not "get in the way", but rather facilitated a healing event. I was pleased to do that for my sister. I felt, from a professional point of view, I was "on top of my game". Age in ministry is not all bad. Because you have been around awhile you are able to read the sort of people you are dealing with. You are experienced enough to know how to respond to their needs and confident enough to try something different. While sad for my sister, I was pleased to be able to offer effective ministry via the funeral service. I came home with a deep sense of satisfaction and fulfillment.

Funeral time...

2011-12-29T11:40:00.000-08:00

Today I lead the funeral for my brother-in-law. They want it to be a celebration. I have led in funerals for my father-in-law, mother-in-law, a close friend and other long term friends. I get nervous before every funeral, but am especially anxious today. There are lots of people helping and I want to write a post about that at some stage. Wish me luck!

Alone but not lonely

2011-12-28T16:04:00.000-08:00

I love company and Ilove solitude. I went tramping withmy son on the Tuesday after Christmas. I enjoyed the time. We went around thetops of the hills at the back of Dunedin. In the process we often walked insilence. (well to be truthful it was often me in my old age puffing alongnoisily while Phil just wandered up hills effortlessly) But there were timeswhen we had good conversation. Iappreciated that. We talked about his work situation, his plans for the futureand things of interest in the scenery around us. When he was an older teenagerI did not get much out of him except “whatever!” or “probably”. Now he is mucholder and I really enjoy that he wants to go tramping with me and is happy tochat when we do. (I sometimes think it is hard on teenagers having a ministerfor a father)

But at one stage onthe tramp I thought “I must come back and do this track by myself some time! Iwould really get to enjoy it!” Then I questioned that statement.“Aren’t you enjoying it now?” Of course I was enjoying it! I enjoyed thecompany, but missed my solitude?

For seven years I havehad a running/walking friend who has exercised with me on Sunday afternoons. I reallyenjoy the company. I get to let off steam about stuff. I appreciate hearingabout a different life and work experience. I enjoy my friend’s personality, we laugh, listen and sometimes philosophise. But I enjoy walking and running on my own as well. I wouldnot like it if every run or walk(depending on the state of our knees) was with the company of my friend, good though it is.I like running by the wharf or walking on the tracks or up my mountain by myself sorting myworld out in my head as I do.

I enjoy the company.But I also enjoy times of solitude. On a tramp I get to really take in mysurroundings in a deeper way than when I have company. I do not only walk pastthe bushes, wild flowers, birds and rocks but I “commune” with them. I “takein” and take on board the open spaces and feel better for it. It is a differentexperience than chatting with someone. It can be the same track and environment, but experienced in a differentway. And it is the same with running alone. I can commune with my inner beingas I run. Running with someone else is different, fun also, but in a differentway.

I drove up toChristchurch today by myself. I find I don’t turn the car radio on at all. Ilove the drive. I enjoy the art of driving and get into a world of my own doingit. It is different than driving with a friend or my wife. Time alone isprecious, enjoyable and somehow refreshing. Different.

I guess its like eggs.Sometimes fried eggs, sometimes scrambled.

A mixed day

2011-12-26T19:18:00.000-08:00

On top of Flagstaff. The Otago Harbour is under that fog.

The fog started to clear from the town end of the harbour.

Looking down on Blue Skin Bay covered in sea mist

A view of "my" Mount Cargill on the way back down the hills.

A great hike
My son and I headed out early this morning to park a car about 10k on the road north of Dunedin. We then drove in another car to the "Bull Ring" a car park up a hill on the south side of Dunedin. We were going to walk the ridges that are a backdrop to the city. Over Flagstaff summit, along to Swampy Summit and down the Burns track back to the first car. We started walking at 8:15 a.m. we arrived at our parked car at 11:50 a.m. It was a great walk with lots of hills, tussock country, different track styles, and different vegetation. It was quite hot with no real breeze even though were high up. A nice morning of exercise and conversation.
Birthday lunch
We did the walk reasonably quickly because we had to go to my daughter's place for a birthday lunch. My foster daughter has her birthday on 27th December. She has severe intellectual handicaps and is now 34... I think. She had been staying at my daughter's place over Christmas so we were gathering there for a birthday lunch. I really love how my children treat her as a sister, no questions asked. She is not their sister, she came into our family when she was 9 years old. As far as they are concerned though, she is their sister and they make a fuss of her on her birthday. I wish we all would learn to just decide to see each other as brothers and sisters, for under God that is what we are.
Sad News
My sister rang me last night to tell me that her husband was having a tough time in the hospice. I intended to go up to Christchurch tomorrow to see him and that timing seemed adequate. As we were driving back to the other car after our walk today my cell phone went. My brother was ringing to tell me my brother-in-law was low and expected to go in the next 48 hours. I began to make arrangements to see if I could go today. (I needed a new supply of blood pressure pills and had a doctors appointment arranged for Wednesday morning) After the birthday party I had a call from my niece to tell me that he had died peacefully. He and I had briefly talked about his funeral, but we had thought we would get together again before the end came. It was not to be and I am now feeling guilty about my busyness that has prevented me from catching up with him before his death. We have managed to arrange an emergency supply of the pills so I will go up in the early hours of tomorrow. I am feeling guilty about not seeing him. I am feeling guilty about not getting to chaplaincies because I will be busy. I am feeling guilty because I will be leaving before my son and daughter-in-law leave for home. Every where I turn I seem to be neglecting something or someone. I am deeply sad for my sister, and she is my first responsibility at this point in time.

"You can't tell a book by it's cover!"

2011-12-25T15:57:00.000-08:00

It is a very hot boxing day in Dunedin. Everything around here outside is getting hot. I got up early because we had to get rubbish bags and a wheelie bin out at the gate. They were full of rubbish from the Christmas dinner. The recycling wheelie bin was full of plastic drink bottles. Since then I have been slowly unpacking cars and returning things we have used back to their place in house or garage. Now I have the house to myself and am stopping for a cup of tea.
The surprising "book" of yesterday.
I went into town before 8 a.m. yesterday. My first job every Christmas morning is to set up a portable carport shelter type thing in the car park of the church. We use this as cover for people rinsing dishes, it can be cover from the sun or rain, and over the years has been both. I set up the frame work and noticed a young man riding a skateboard up and down the road. I recognised him as a man who had visited our drop-in centre. He had a week earlier asked about the Christmas dinner. When I was sliding the tent type cover onto the frame and struggling to reach all the corners, he skated over and said, "Wanna hand with that boss?" There he stood, unshaven, studs through lip, eyebrow and ears and tattoos in different places. "Oh yes that would be good!" I replied. So together we completed the task. Later as our guests began arriving early he came to me and said, "Can I help... I could give out name tags?" I hesitated, thinking about elderly pensioners being welcomed by this apparition. Anyway he got to grabbing a clip board and welcoming people. Then he moved to hosting at a table. Then he did something else where he saw a need. He seemed a simple guy, and indeed had trouble writing, but just floated around being a real treat to the people he assisted. "You cannot tell a book by its cover!" as my mum used to say.

Too busy

2011-12-24T21:54:00.000-08:00

I was going to take a "before and after video" of our Christmas day community dinner ... like the same video as my last post with the place full of people. But I was just too busy today. I estimate we had 270 there. Others have said 280 or 300. It was full on. But I am sure most went away happy. The biggest buzz is happy volunteers...... It is great to see volunteers going away absolutely stuffed (as in exhausted) but with big wide smiles on their faces. So many stories I could tell but that's enough. Relaxing with all my NZ based kids now. The boys are cooking a barbecue tea now, happily relaxed after a couple of cold beers.

All ready to party.

2011-12-23T22:45:00.001-08:00

Why I celebrate Christmas

2011-12-22T21:34:00.001-08:00

My friend Robbie (he likes "Robert") I met Robert first at our drop-in centre now he's part of our mob.

Early setting up night for our Christmas celebration.

Or “Why I am a minister.” I usually don’t put a long religious blurb onmy blog site but this time I have. I guess as I’m getting older I have to tellmyself and others why I have stuck with this thing called Church ministry whenI often find it frustrating. I am only two years away from retiring age and Ihave surprised myself by finding it impossible to give up local Churchministry. The reason for that is that in spite of all the distortions in the church andfrustrations I experience, I am deeply convinced that Jesus’ and his way is relevant forpeople now. Here is a reflection on some phrases from this reading.

John1:6-18

⁶There was a man sent from God, whose name was John.⁷He came as a witness to testify to the light, so that all might believethrough him. ⁸He himself was not the light, but he came totestify to the light. ⁹The true light, which enlightens everyone, wascoming into the world. ¹⁰He was in the world, and the world came into beingthrough him; yet the world did not know him. ¹¹He came to what was hisown, and his own people did not accept him. ¹²But to all who receivedhim, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God, ¹³whowere born, not of blood or of the will of the flesh or of the will of man, butof God. ¹⁴And the Word became flesh and lived among us, andwe have seen his glory, the glory as of a father’s only son, full of grace andtruth.

¹⁵(John testified to him and cried out, “This was heof whom I said, ‘He who comes after me ranks ahead of me because he was beforeme.’”) ¹⁶From his fullness we have all received, grace upongrace. ¹⁷The law indeed was given through Moses; grace andtruth came through Jesus Christ. ¹⁸No one has ever seen God. It is God the only Son,who is close to the Father’s heart, who has made him known

---------------------

Darkness

In our work throughSpace2B and drop-in centre we sometimes come across people hooked on drugs.Sometimes it feels like no matter how many people help them they just do notwant to get off the slippery downward slope they are on. Why? We hear every dayof people driving fast when they are drunk and killing themselves or others.Why? My brother is involved in enviro-schools and sustainability action. Herecently had a tent up at the great Central Otago Thyme Festival, a marvellouscommunity event. He had his tent burnt and wrecked by vandals. This is thesecond year this has happened! Why? Our suicide rate is higher than ourrelatively high road-toll? Why? Wecould continue to list off manysigns of darkness in our world. I believe much of it has to do with the stateof flux and change that the world is in at this time of our history. I thinkpeople in the West, in spite of their technological advances are struggling tocope. Mother Teresa looking at western societies said that the major poverty ofthe west was a deep spiritual poverty. In the middle of last century Victor Frankl reports a feeling “of whichso many patients complain today, namely the feeling of the total and ultimatemeaninglessness of their lives. They lack awareness of a meaning worth livingfor. They are haunted by the experience of their inner emptiness, a void withinthemselves; they are caught in that situation which I have called the‘existential vacuum’. The existential vacuum is a widespread phenomenon of thetwentieth century.” The reasons he gives for this vacuum have only deepened inthe time since he wrote these words. I heard a speaker telling of a widevariety of cultures he had studied and lived amongst. He spent time in Tibet,India, Polynesia and South America. He said that many of these cultures do notnecessarily envy our technology, but rather feel sorry for us because of ourlack of deep spiritual connectedness.

It is for this reason that Icelebrate, and continue to promote the life of Jesus. I think he has the potential to bring “life”amidst our death, light in our darkness and connection in our isolation and“lostness”. I share with you a reflection on three phrases in this reading fromJohn’s gospel. As we read the gospels we need to hear not so much exacthistory, but the writers sharing their faith. They share their faith using aliterature style, words and metaphors from their culture and their time. To understand we have to get the feelof these to be able to grasp the experience behind them. It is this experience,this testimony that can inform us today. In this is something of the eternal.

“Generous inside and out”

As John encounteredJesus he experienced a deeper understanding of God. He said of Jesus, “The Word(of God) became flesh and lived among us”. I have come to a deeperunderstanding of this. We often see this as “love came down at Christmas.” Wesee it that somehow Jesus revealed to us the mind of a God up in “heaven”wherever heaven is. I like to see it, however, as Jesus exposing the nature ofthe God among us. There was a varnished table at the church, which had heaps ofscratches, marks from hot pots and other accumulated defacing. My wifeconvinced me to take it home and sand it. I worked on this table, in the end scrapingthe surface of it. In due course a beautiful mahogany grain emerged, wasexposed and drawn out. It was always there but my sanding and finallyrevarnishing highlighted and brought out the grain.

That’s how I see Jesus. Hedoes not so much show us a God at a distance, but exposes and highlights thenature of the God, the movement of love, the Great Spirit who is in life allaround us. And John says thehighlighted picture is that we live amongst “Grace” or “Grace upon grace.” - pilesof Grace. In “The Message” suchphrases are paraphrased as “generous inside and out”, “generous bounty”, “giftafter gift” and “exuberant giving and receiving”. Jesus shows us that we liveamongst a generous, overflowing movement of unconditional love. That is God. Asa workplace chaplain I see the impact of overbearing, judgemental leaders. Inthat atmosphere people do not take risks, they close down, are frightened to bethemselves and are stifled as people. Jesus shows us God as being the opposite;we live with a God who is for us. We are free to be all we can be. Dr ElizabethKubler Ross in her book “On life after death” writes, “Most important of all, we must learn to love and be lovedunconditionally. Most of us havebeen raised as prostitutes. I will love you ‘if’. And this word ‘if’ has ruinedand destroyed more lives than anything else on this planet earth. Itprostitutes us, it makes us feel that we can buy love with good behaviour, orgood grades.” In spite of thefact that often distorted religion says “you must believe the right things’ or“do the right things” Jesus shows a God of grace and love. His picture of Godis of the prodigal son’s father waiting for his son's return, rushing to embrace his son and throwing him a party. In this love I am freed to “be”. God is in the dreams I have to bettermy world and myself. God is in the affirmations of friends. God is in theforgiveness that people extend to us. This love means we can forgive ourselvesand move on after failure. I celebrateJesus because he shows us God’s “grace upon grace”.

“The true light which enlightens everyone…”

John the writer shareshis testimony about Jesus by referring to him as “the true light” or “thelight”. In the “Message” paraphrase this is translated “the life-light”. It islife–giving light. I celebrate Jesus because he gives me light for the path oflife. We live in a world where there have been dramatic changes. My parents,and to some extent myself lived in a world where the roles of women and menwere relatively clearly defined and that was endorsed by society at large. Now,thank God, it has been changed and the roles have changed. But it is newterritory and teenagers today are like trampers cutting new tracks. There arechanges in how we live. We have broken away from clearly defined societyendorsed “right” and “wrong” way of living, and now we are free to make our ownchoices. This is good and freeing, but it makes it a harder world to grow upin. We need guiding principles. I was introduced to “geo caching” recently. Afriend and I were walking and on her iphone she discovered a cache was nearby.The application told us we were near it, but we needed to know where “north”was. There was a lively discussionwith a difference of opinion. In due course the compass on the iphone settledit and we could proceed to finding the cache. We needed “North”. There arepeople lost in the darkness of this free-living world who need to know where“north” is so that they can make the best choices.

Light for the path.

I celebrate Jesus because he is light for the path, he shows us “north”for our living. This is not in hard and fast rules for right and wrong, butprincipled direction for living, a base from which we can make decisions.Writer and scholar Marcus Borg says that the Christian way is profoundly simple- “Love God and love what Godloves”. This is summary of thelight that Jesus gives, incredibly relevant for our world today.

“… he gave the power to become children ofGod”.

Marcus Borg alsopoints out that the Christian way is a path of transformation. We embark on ajourney of becoming more whole human beings. I was in a country town settleddown at a table outside a café watching the traffic. It was a Sunday lunchtime.It was amusing watching the farmers driving in to this village. Theirfour-wheel drives came into town and immediately slowed down to about 10kph.They looked around to see who was walking up town and what shops were open.Tourist cars passing through just had to bide their time. I saw one bloke see somebody they knew,so he just stopped. His friend sauntered over and they chatted while he leanedon the driver’s door. He was double-parked and others had to drive around them.A massive tractor came down the road. The driver decided he wanted to buy apie. He just stopped, again double-parked opposite the shop and wandered overto buy his pie. These country drivers just got used to doing whatever theyliked, without considering any other drivers. We often tend to live like that.We live for ourselves, with a small circle of concern. Because we livelike that we live stunted lives, often hurt others and often do not see theneeds of others. Apathy abounds. If we begin to take notice of Jesus he comesinto our lives as a catalyst transforming us into a bigger person. Jesus as ourlife guide calls us and prompts us to widen the circle of concern so that webecome more loving, more giving and better people. I celebrate the life of Jesus because he does give me the power tobecome a bigger hearted, life-enhancing and giving person. He has evenmanaged to bring changes in me.

It is Christmas and I celebrate the life ofJesus because…

heshows us God’s “grace upon grace”.
he is the light for the path, he shows us“north” for our living.
he does give me the power to become a biggerhearted, life-enhancing and giving person.

To all my readers, especially any regular readers let me say, "I hope you have a really great Christmas surrounded by love."

Friendship

2011-12-22T00:34:00.000-08:00

Friendship is an interesting thing. I have had a day of it. First thing in the morning I took a friend out to the airport. We have known each other for nearly 7 years and she was going back to Australia for holidays. I arrived back at my office and an old friend who I first met when we were in our late teens and now see about once a year, had left a donation for the Christmas Day dinner. A friend then came and helped me sort out transport lists for the Christmas day dinner. I have known him for 17 years, and in recent years he has got involved in the church. Another friend from my Night Shelter Trust texted me asking if I was "in". He arrived with gifts for the Christmas Dinner and a greeting from yet another acquaintance. It was good to spend time with him. After we had completed our tasks at around 5p.m. I went down the road to purchase an afternoon tea snack. I bumped into a friend I have known for 17 years. She and I did a community and social work course together years ago. We used to go running together but we have not had contact for years now so it was good to catch up.
The thing that is the unifying factor in the experience of these friendships is that I can talk easily with the people. With my friend who spent the day with me we could chat backwards and forwards, question each other, tease each other and just feel at home as we worked. My mate from the Trust I have known a relatively short period of time but we have discovered an easy relationship where we can talk backward and forward. We wanted to open a bag and he said, "Ok where's your big knife you carry." In the short time he has known me he has learned that I am seldom without a pocket knife. When I met my friend from the social work class I found we could slip into easy relationship with each other again even though it had been years. My friend who left a donation could leave the briefest of notes knowing that I would sense the warmth behind it. It is "warming" to have such friendships and I am indeed lucky, since I am not good at keeping in touch.

Christmas Dinner generosity ... 5, 6 or whatever

2011-12-21T13:42:00.000-08:00

I took this photo with Photo booth in my Macbook Pro. Why is it back to front?

I took a friend out to the airport. When I arrived back at the church a couple of members came into my office with a parcel of Christmas treats and a money box full of cash. They had bumped into a man in the car park and he had handed these over. I checked the mail box and an old friend had left $150 in cash in an envelope with "Merry Christmas" and a smiling face on it. In brackets he had scribbled, "Assistance with Christmas deal".

Christmas is hard for heretic preachers

2011-12-20T12:04:00.000-08:00

How to say it without offending...
When Christmas comes each year I have a hard time. There are a couple of issues. First the carols that everybody likes singing... The words are scary and distort what Jesus was about. "Low he abhores not the virgin's womb!" What the heck is that about? That's real big of him? "Love came down at Christmas". It wasn't there before? Many carols end with the final verses devoted to getting to heaven. "And our eyes at last shall see him." - like that was what Jesus was all about? But people LOVE singing carols. Sorry, I grimace my way through them. The second is that as I read the familiar Christmas stories I cannot take them literally. Angel Gabriel, angels hovering in the sky singing, virgin birth, star directing people etc etc. Apart from anything else the dating has difficulties. I see them as "narrative theology". But without going into deep scholarly negative sounding discussion it is difficult to communicate this stuff. I could ignore it, but there are those who could be sitting listening to the readings saying to themselves, "Yeah right? How can I believe this rubbish?" I hate to disturb people's Christmas. Squash beautiful nativity scenes? Rubbish much loved carols? All I am saying is that often when I read the passage for the day at Christmas I groan inwardly. Why me? Christmas is hard for heretic preachers, but I have found it harder to give up ministry, damn it!

... But I liked this bit...
A friend, an Australian no less, sent me this in an email saying he saw it and thought of me and passed it on. Don't know where it originated but it rang bells. It starts off with a biblical reference which is the familiar birth of Jesus and "Shepherds in the hills abiding" story from Luke. But then reflecting on the birth and the whole story goes on to talk about the birthing of love...

Luke 2:1-20... This is all it Takes...

The story tells us that this is all it takes for love to be born:

you listen to the voice of improbable angels

you dare to believe you might have a part to play in their story

you say yes to the idea of the impossible

you give up the future you thought was inevitable

you defy the protocols and social mores of the day when they get in the way
of what you know is true

you dare to say to those who would deny your value and your role
that you just might have what’s needed, in this moment

you search for your allies and trust them with your dream

you devour the moments of joy when they come

you demand truth from yourself and those around you

you give up the things you are comfortable with

you travel long journeys in inhospitable conditions

you stand up to be counted

you take whatever shelter you can get

you aren’t afraid of darkness or dirt

you do whatever it takes, even if you’re lonely, scared, a laughing stock, intimidated, overwhelmed, lost, uncomfortable

you accept gifts of wisdom from strangers

you honour those who put their gifts of love, however small, alongside yours

you risk everything, even your life, to give it breath

that’s all it takes for love to be born.

It really touched me because it reminded me of my journey. I am far from as loving as I should be, but it reminded me of my attempts to journey with Jesus and the challenges on the way. I liked it and I pass it on.

Conflicting Monday thoughts

2011-12-19T01:05:00.000-08:00

Been in the backyard today. Here is an abandoned nest I found in the wood shed. The eggs are so delicate!

Volunteers name their terms
Our Community Christmas day dinner is an interest exercise. Thankfully we have heaps of volunteers ring up to offer assistance. This is great, but just sometimes they want to come "on their terms" do what they think best. There are some who want to come with their kids to "make the kids appreciate what they have." I want to scream down the phone, "These people are not zoo animals for your kids to get educated about!" When we say that we encourage hosts to sit and eat with guests some will say, "I don't want to eat with them!" in an almost derogatory fashion. Others just want to do "such and such". I often think we want to help the "unfortunate" but we want to do it on our terms. Do we listen to them? Do we respect them? Are we flexible and willing to do what is needed? Are we willing to give ourselves, our personality, our love and drop our guard so they can sense another human being?
Good grief WINZ!
We have a guy in our church who is in his mid 50's. He is a "simple guy" though far from having an intellectual handicap. He came to us via the drop-in centre. He is a dyslexic and reading is a slow process for him. In the time I have known him he has had two different full time jobs. He was a cleaner/morning tea room man in an engineering factory and he has been a street sweeper. He is a conscientious worker but in both jobs because of changes in each firm, (loss of contracts) he was twice made redundant. Of his own initiative he participates in a Task Force Green job scheme which has him doing some useful work with just a little extra in his sickness benefit. He is hearing impaired and cannot afford hearing aids. He gets gout from time to time and when he does he finds it difficult and painful to walk. He had a small stroke recently, from which he has virtually recovered but is still coming to terms with it. If he goes to the doctor he struggles to pay the fee. When he was first unemployed he did search for jobs. I did a CV with him. He was then put on a sickness benefit. He helps out on a Sunday morning by coming early and setting things up, making coffee and doing simple jobs in preparation for worship. He helps out at the drop-in centre, helping to set up and clean up. But the other day he got this officious letter from Work and Income New Zealand, demanding that he must go look for work. In it they give web sites he can look at so that he can check out opportunities. Now I once taught him to play solitaire on a computer, but he would never even know what a web site is, let alone workout how to navigate the internet! Get real WINZ. There are no jobs out there for the likes of him! You say he is now not on sickness benefit, but he is in worse shape now than he used to be. He is not on drugs, he does not do criminal activity, he does not drink, he does not smoke, he is only a little over weight. He is not a bludger! It is not his fault he is unemployed! It is the result of the "system". The super efficient workplace scene these days has no space for him. He came to me very upset (while I was at the urinal he was standing behind me expressing his anguish - in my "private space!") fearful he was going to lose his benefit. "The're telling me to get off my arse and get a job! I could lose my money! There are no jobs!" I wish I could get Prime Minister John Key and others down to my drop-in some Friday night and tell them to find the jobs they say are there for these people! Back off WINZ. Try something more sensitive. Invite them in for an interview then write your letters. You are causing unnecessary anguish!
Help expected
I sometimes get annoyed with the people I try to help. Let me say I do not want to generalise, but there is a group of people who act as if the world owes them a living or anything going. I sense this as people ring up for the Christmas dinner. There are those who really appreciate what we are doing. But there are those who think it is their right! That the transport provided should be there, and they hope its properly cooked and can we have Karaoke again! It is that sort of attitude. It is similar at our drop-in centre. One man, an alcoholic, said to me, "If it wasn't for the likes of me you guys would not have a job!" I nicely pointed out that we were all volunteers. Another was worried about recent government funding cuts to social work agencies and asked, "Will they cut your funds?" Well no! Donations from us and other caring people pay for the drop-in centre. "The government should give us these things!" he replied. Some will complain because we have not had savaloys in a while, and "when are the cakes coming out?" I have had them banging on the church door if we are a few minutes late getting things ready. They now know not to do that because I will wait longer before opening. :-) I have heard them telling door bangers off... "Don't do that! Dave goes slow if we bang on the door!" Even some of the Habitat for Humanity people I have worked my guts out to help have come across like I was a paid lackey doing their bidding!. ... It sometimes annoys me... but I do not let it stop me doing things for people. Their attitude, their reaction is their responsibility, their problem. I am called to give people a hand, to give to the poor and help the oppressed etc, that is my responsibility. Just because their nature is to be selfish and self serving, why should I change my nature to give and to care? That's the ideal, but just sometimes I get a bit annoyed. Sometimes people will say, "They are pulling the wool over your eyes! They are just using you!" "No they're not. I know what they are like, but that is their problem, not mine!" Let me say I am not a pushover, I do give wisely. A man once said to me, "If you try to sort out the needy from the greedy, you will do nothing!" I think he was right.

Sunday before Christmas

2011-12-18T01:05:00.000-08:00

Jealous
I mix with people who are slowing down and knocking off for the year. I have been mistakenly thinking that after Christmas things will lighten up for me and I'll be able to do some tidying up, some planning etc. But as I think about it I won't be able to do that. I had a man come to me today and ask when my chaplaincies finish for the year? They don't! Fire service, Ambulance, News Paper and brewery... they just do not shut down. I will be continuing to visit until I actually go on holiday. My weeks will be just as crowded. I see people having end of year parties and slowing down toward the holidays and part of me is jealous. The collegiality would be nice as well as the slowing down. But then I choose to do the work I do and there are other deep rewards.
Normal Christmas
I talk to people about their christmas plans and the variety of responses is interesting. Some see Christmas day as a day to get "pissed". (drunk) They look forward to lazing around drinking "stubbies" all day and collapsing into bed having pigged out and thoroughly drunk. Others tell you their plans and it goes like this. "We gotta go out to the in-laws' for lunch, then we gotta go to my brother's place, then we gotta go to mum and dad's place." It all sounds like hard work! They often do not sound thrilled. When I think back to our 'normal' Christmases I sometimes had this feel. You felt you better not hurt anybody by not turning up. You ended the day having been fed a way too much, the kids were scratchy and you were tired and you had not had much time together as a family. When we began our Community Christmas dinners my mum was quite annoyed. "You don't like family!" she would complain. After the first Christmas day dinner we climbed in the van to drive three hours to where the family were celebrating so that we would not disappoint mum. Half way there the van broke down and we had to turn around and nurse the van home. Since then we have tried to catch up with family on Boxing day or New Years day. I am lucky. I know I will have a good Christmas day. It will be stressful, very busy and tiring. The one thing I am sure of is that late in the afternoon, I will be sitting at home drinking a stubby with an incredibly warm feeling that we have helped a lot of people, guests and volunteers, have a great day. You can't beat that feeling!
No worship next Sunday!
At the Church of Christ Community we are not going to have a churchservice this coming Sunday. In the last 153 years that has perhaps never happenedbefore. There probably has always been some worship, even in the big snows. It is Christmas Day also, a very important day in the Church calendar. Whyis there no worship? Because weare holding our 23rd Community Christmas day dinner and there is no space forworship. There is no time to hold worship and there will be no space in the building. But..... we will be open to all, sharing love, breaking bread together(eating) and we will be remembering Jesus. Perhaps that is worship after all? I don't get out of the work of preparation though. I have a radio service to record on Wednesday.
Not all bad...
In Church this morning I had a thanksgiving time for the year that has passed. We thought about the sorts of things we as a church had achieved in the year. It was not a bad list. As we sung the final hymn I looked at the congregation and counted up a number of people who were not worshipping with us this time last year. In spite of the fact that we are an old down town church, and we are mostly older people with an organ as our musical instrument (which I am not comfortable with) we have added to our numbers. That's not bad for our style, our city and where we are. We are not static.

"Modest Donation" - Yeah right.

2011-12-14T20:15:00.000-08:00

I wrote recently of a law firm who arranged what they termed a "modest donation" toward our Church's Community Christmas Day dinner. We received the envelope today. There was a Cheque in it for $1000. Wow. Modest? It enables us to breathe easy. Another lady gave $100, and another gave a heap of personally painted pine cones to help us decorate the place. We have been promised a further ham. It is all happening. I am finding it hard to get around to doing all I need to do, but it certainly is a great adventure, exciting even though this dinner will be number 23. People ask me sometimes, "Don't you want a 'normal' Christmas?" We have done it for so long I think I have forgotten what a "normal" Christmas is like. I realised that for most of our married life we have been running Christmas Day dinners. (we have been married 42 years.)

Christmas generosity (4) and dreaming

2011-12-12T23:41:00.000-08:00

More Christmas gifts
I heard today that a lady has given us $200 toward our Christmas dinner. She is the sister of a Dominican Sister, I don't know her but she knows of us. The local Dominican Sisters have always been very supportive of our work. Today we talked with the couple who will provide some singing entertainment, and it is so good they are bright, friendly and enthusiastic. The wave of generosity continues.

Dreaming

I am out of sorts with my denomination and do not feel I belong. I have read of the United Church of Christ in USA and wish they had a presence in NZ. Maybe my congregation could join them then? If not the congregation it would be an option for me?
I am out of sorts with Habitat for Humanity NZ and locally I find they are doing things that somehow deny the spirit of Habitat for Humanity. I get emails from the Fuller Centre For Housing which is a continuation of the ministry of Millard Fuller the founder of Habitat for Humanity. I wish they had a presence in NZ so I could get involved. When I was involved in Habitat locally we were building houses and I loved that sense of accomplishment, the sharing between rich and poor and the love enjoyed on site. They are doing things differently locally now. I think that community building was an important part of the total work. The way things are done now it feels like they have cut the guts out of H4H. I am deeply disappointed. I had hoped that Habitat for Humanity could have been my retirement occupation.
I still find myself annoyed every time I have to submit statistics in Chaplaincy. I hear too that the on site chaplaincy is becoming less of their work and consultancy/supervision is expanding. I feel we have embarked on a business model of operation and neglected the mission model. So I am a little out of sorts with chaplaincy.

One has to ask, am I just hard to get along with? I am a bit of a dreamer. Walking down the mountain the other day I dreamed of these possibilities....

Maybe with others in retirement I could explore another type of "Spiritual/service" base? (Church)
There is more and more a need for families to receive a hand up and for communities to share resources across the rich/poor divide. There used to be another housing group in Dunedin called "Just Housing". Maybe there is room for another group to operate?
I am enjoying the freedom of my voluntary St John chaplaincy. It feels like valid people ministry and mission. Maybe voluntary chaplaincy is my future?

I don't think I am hard to get along with. In spite of my differences I have hung in with all the above groups a lot longer than many others have. One man wrote;

There are two things

The ACTUAL and the IDEAL.

To be mature is to see the ideal

and live with the actual.

To fail is to accept the actual

and reject the ideal

and to accept only that which is ideal

and refuse the actual

is to be immature.

Do not reject the ideal

because you see the actual.

Maturity is to live with the ACTUAL

But hold on to the IDEAL.

.... Derek Prince.

But sometimes "living in tension" is tiring.

Thinking out loud and coincidence.

2011-12-11T21:53:00.001-08:00

"No Creed but Christ"
Today is my day off and I have been in the vegetable garden which means as I work, I think. I had some work emails to deal with early this morning and in the process went to our denominations NZ website. There was a Christmas message from the president with his thoughts about the future. In his message he says this about his dream for our churches....

Firstly, United.

Who wants to join something that is fragmented and dysfunctional at the relational level? Jesus greatest desire was that we would be one so that the world would know we are His disciples.

Secondly, Alignment.

Are we on the same page? What would our core beliefs be that those of us who are connected to CCNZ would wholeheartedly agree with (we should sit down and work that through sometime). I know we pride ourselves in the statement ‘no creed but Christ’, it does seem to be open to misinterpretation. For CCNZ what does ‘but Christ’ really mean?

I have heard the same man raise this issue before. He wants to clearly define what we believe and who believes it, and my guess is he will want us to believe the same as he does. I like our restoration movement slogan, "No creed but Christ". I like our other slogan, "In essentials Unity, in non-essentials liberty, and in all things love." I do not like people trying to define dogma. I think that it was in that process that the early church got distorted and drifted away from the way of Jesus. The "Pharisees" continue to invade the church!

I love the story about one of our founders, Alexander Campbell. In the early nineteenth century he was somewhere in Scotland as a Presbyterian minister (At least of one branch of the then very splintered presbyterian Church) and attended a communion service. To get accepted for communion you had to answer certain questions about dogma and if you answered correctly you received a little lead token which was your ticket to allow you to take communion. The woman in front of him could not answer all the questions correctly so she was turned away from taking communion, and obviously upset by this turn of events. Alexander Campbell answered correctly, received his token, but when the offering plate came around found himself placing the token in the plate and leaving the service in disgust. He was so distressed that these dogma questions kept followers of Christ away from the communion table.

I like "No Creed but Christ". It allows people who follow Christ, with a variety of interpretations as to what dogma they believe, to actually work together, discover Jesus and discover unity. One of the reasons I have stayed with our Churches is that potentially there is room for liberty. I do feel out of sorts with current trends and the president probably sees me as one who is contributing to fragmentation and dysfunction. (I don't rock the boat, just keep doing my thing as I believe it.- a sort of "live and let live" attitude.) I recall a western comedy song, I think a take off about Billy the kid. In it an imaginary psychologist asks the kid, "When did you run away from home?" Answer: "I didn't run away from home, my home ran away from me. - We lived in a covered wagon and I fell out the back". I feel like that. Churches of Christ, my "home," started me on a faith journey that included openness, love, scholarship and inclusiveness. I have continued the journey but my "home ran away from me." Somehow I feel its done a u-turn and is heading back to a superstitious, sectarian and theologically ignorant form of Christianity.
Coincidence
I have just become chairman of the local Night Shelter Trust. (I was a founding member) We learned that the house we rent was to be auctioned off today. I went along to the auction with another man from our trust. We are of course concerned because the homeless could be even more homeless. I was sitting there waiting for the auction to begin and thinking how much out of my comfort zone I was. The men gathering looked rich property investors, and my companion knew some of them. This was not my scene. Then a suited man came in and I suddenly realised I knew him. He was a friend from the time I did a social work course. We used to run together. He is now a property investor and wheeler and dealer. Way back when we were exploring the beginnings of the night shelter this man had expressed an interest in assisting. Now he was still interested and keen to have a meeting. The house was not sold. We did line up a meeting between him and a group from the Trust. As he shook my hand to leave he said, "This is no coincidence - somehow it I think it was meant to be." I suspect he may be right. So often in my life when profound work, "God's work" needs resources the right people "emerge". For example, we have never run short of money or resources for our Christmas Day dinner. I wish I trusted that more often. Watch this space. (Speaking of unity... it is not found by "sitting down and working through" beliefs. It is found in loving action together. My Night Shelter and Habitat for Humanity experience attests to this. Most of my colleagues on the Night Shelter Trust are Catholics. If we talked "beliefs" we would fight. But by following Jesus in caring action we discover an exciting essential unity in Jesus.)
A great day
I have been an unfaithful Kiwi today. I checked the scores of the Hobart cricket test match against Australia last night and I despaired. It looked like another Aussie victory. But I was wrong. The New Zealand bowlers and fielders did their thing well and we beat the Australians in Australia. (The first time this has happened in since 1993) As one email to the TV station said tonight, "Any day we beat the Australians is a great day!"

Sunday two weeks before Christmas

2011-12-10T23:14:00.001-08:00

This time in two weeks I will be very tired but hopefully satisfied after our twenty third Christmas day community dinner, but the next two weeks will be very busy. The last few days have been interesting.
The last drop-in centre
On Friday night we had our final night for 2011 of our drop-in centre. It is nice to know that we have Friday nights off until February. The guests we have are generally used to this by now but you can sense their sadness as they were saying "goodbye." We have one guy who comes every Friday, he used to be a weight lifter, so even though he is a gentle guy, he looks mean. He is unemployed but spends his days looking after his dad who is senile, very old and disabled. He comes in on a Friday night, has something to eat with us, plays a few games of pool and then goes to "tuck Dad into bed." He came in on Friday as usual and when he learned it was the final night eyeballed me and said, "When are you starting again?" I told him it would be February and the disappointment was written all over his face and eyeballing me again he said, "That's a very long break. Why?" I felt guilty, but I do know it is hard work. One of our volunteers commented on Saturday night that Saturdays were always hard after Friday nights. Each Friday night is tiring.
Simple ashes burial
I conducted a small ceremony as we interred the ashes of the 101 year old lady whose funeral I took recently. It was a small simple ceremony at a family grave site. The lady had asked that her departure be handled very simply, no great funeral and no money wasted. (She had the cheapest of coffins to honour her request) She wanted her ashes buried in a simple cardboard box. I loved her style, I will include such instructions about my departure.
Cross cultural family night
We had a family night with guests coming from a range of cultures. These immigrants to NZ came from China, Scotland, Germany, India, Sri Lanka, Iran, Philippine/American, Samoa, Sudan and of course New Zealand. We ate a pot luck meal, the kids played games and adults were busy talking. About three people shared a song with us and then others spontaneously sang. A fifteen year old from Sri Lanka sang, then her thirteen year old sister joined her for another song. Three Indian ladies spontaneously sang a song from where they were sitting. The special for me was when an Iranian lady shared a Persian chant about relying on God. Of course, as with the other songs, we could not understand a word, but the presentation was reverent and sincere. I enjoy this mix of cultures, it enriches my life.
Two women's words..
Among the group is a mature Chinese couple. The man has very limited English and we have to use simple words and play charades to talk with him. His wife has more English but still struggles sometimes. They have come to our Christmas dinner twice. They were booking in for their third dinner and as they wrote their names down she hesitated. She said, "I want to... I want to...(and she turned to her husband and spoke Chinese briefly) I want to... be like you... I want to ... volunteer.. get the meals ...we have been two times (holding up two fingers) it is time for us... to help." I grinned all over. It was so neat. She will be a happy volunteer.
The Indian woman who leads the cross cultural women's group was expressing thanks for support we had given. She said, "Lots of people just talk about helping people, but David (us) really does it. These people don't just talk about it, they actually help a lot of people." I'm glad that can be said about us though I don't think we are as good as it sounds.

The broom grows so quickly, it nearly takes over the early track on my mountain.

Even though it is a weed, the broom is pretty and its perfume is nice to walk through.

The platform has been under fallen rocks for years. Why the notices now?

Christmas generosity (3)

2011-12-07T20:46:00.001-08:00

There's a leading lawyer in town who has assisted us with our Christmas Day dinner for about four years now. He rang up and left a message on my phone and I rang him back... "Now about this Christmas dinner old man.... we usually give a modest donation... where can I send it?" The "modest donation" is usually several hundred dollars. "Now also you generally send me to pick people up then I bludge a free meal off you. Do you want my phone numbers so we can arrange that?" I joked with him that the free meal was why I did the Christmas dinner too. He said, "We'll bludge together then old man!" He was a school prefect when I began high school in Dunedin and gave me one or two detentions in my first year at Otago Boys High. It is funny that now later in life we have this once a year friendship. I think its cool.

Christmas Dinner generosity (2)

2011-12-07T13:04:00.001-08:00

Musical generosity.
Over night we have lined up some musical stuff for the Christmas Dinner. We talked with a couple who were so happy to give some items. Another lady who has played piano and sung for us for a couple of christmas dinners is happy to come back. She said, "Thank you for asking".

Pretty cool. Music adds so much.

Linda at the piano two years ago. (We wear ghastly shirts so that people know who to go to for assistance)

Christmas day dinner Dunedin generosity (1)

2011-12-06T18:59:00.001-08:00

I thought I might keep my readers up to date with the generosity of Dunedin people leading up to our Christmas Day dinner.

We have had heaps of people booking in to be volunteers on the day.
We have Little India restaurant lined up to cook the vegetables and Marlow Pies will cook our twenty plus legs of mutton. The owners of both places have helped in the past. They are both going away this year, but have insisted that they will organise for someone on their staff to look after it all for us.
We have applied for and received $2800 in grants from two places, the Trust giving $2000 does not want any recognition... "Your Church deserves any recognition due".
The Dominican Sisters gave us a donation of $500 and other donations of $200 and $100 from individuals have been received.

Today three things have happened which prompted this post.

A breakfast time phone call offered a ham for the dinner.
A lunch time phone call offered a ten seater bus to pick up guests and deliver them home with the driver willing to host the passengers at the meal.
A man in overalls walked into Space2B, did not introduce himself but asked, "Are you the minister of this show?" "Yes"... He dug in his pockets and pulled out a bank cheque for $110 "Here, for your Christmas meal - you do well. Bye!" and walked out the door. (I recognised him from other years)

I'll keep you posted on other developments... I am always humbled by people's generosity.

Sowing the seed

2011-12-04T23:06:00.001-08:00

Gardening day
Mondays are my only day off each week. We have an acre of ground at our house and we try to establish a vegetable garden. It is not as big as it ought to be. I am aware that many people in the world would love to have this much ground and this climate. They could live off it, where as we waste much of it. We have two goats who are just grass eaters who keep the paddock in check and we have a hen house with eight hens producing a good number of eggs every day. The last three Mondays, have been rainy weather so nothing has been done in the garden. Today was a brilliant day, sunny and warm, but not too warm. With sun hat and sunblock on I planted 9 rows of various vegetables. They are a bit late but with proper care they will produce. I had to fork over the ground and had been tossing stones over the fence into the paddock. I realised that we could use them and that this patch of ground had plenty of them. I managed to collect two buckets of stones which went on the path to the hen house.
Gardening insights
One of the reasons I enjoy gardening is that it provides time for your mind and heart to catch up on yourself. It enables you to appreciate various things. Here are a few.

The bird song at various times of the day was magic. I still marvel at how such a small instrument can produce such big sounds.
I think the peas I had planted a few weeks ago actually grew while I was watching them today. I am sure they were bigger tonight than they were when I began this morning.
As I tossed stones from the garden into a bucket I got to thinking how amazing it is. Each stone is a different size and shape yet as I threw them in the bucket I think I got at least 9 out of every 10 in the target. I think it is amazing that my brain, eyes and arms can co-ordinate in such a way! The human body is a pretty good piece of machinery. I still marvel at cricket batsmen who have a split second to see and hit a ball. (It is just a pity NZ batsmen could not do it better!)
I just love that I could, if I had the time, feed myself in a healthy way off my patch of land. Maybe when I retire? While I was dreaming of this I began to wonder. I realised that presently I find fulfillment in dealing with people, helping them, supporting them and sharing with them. When I retire will I truly be happy just growing a garden?

A different denomination?- a different ministry?... but we're doing OK

In the newspaper and via email another denomination in Dunedin was advertising a part time ministry position. I am super busy; I have significant frustrations in my present ministry; I need to start looking after my health a bit better so I am tempted to go for a job with less hours. I emailed away for information and to let them know I was interested. There are a number of congregations and the position meant working in a team with others. There was a "Parish Profile" which I was interested to explore. It was all very well worded. There were mission statements, goals and clear descriptions of what was happening. If the figures are to be believed the total attendance at services amounts to about three times what my present congregation is. The biggest congregation of the four has more attending than my present one. The theology they wanted to pursue was "Progressive Theology" which is where I am at. They had some lovely sounding statements about their work... but.... the heading on part of the Parish Profile read like this; Significant congregation achievements, events or programmes in the past 3-5 years in the congregation and community:

Now the answer they gave to that was a program that was essentially geared for the "faithful" and the "thinkers". These are "evening meetings that will enrich, educate and entertain members of the parish and also the wider community". There were also a couple of retreats. Is that all they could list in the last 3 - 5 years? None of the future goals of the parish had them reaching out and serving or interacting with the community in any big way. Now I realise that there are probably other significant things they do not mention but they seem to fall short from my perspective. I then thought "how could my Church answer that same question?"... A weekly Drop-in centre for unemployed, mental health patients etc; Space 2B open and available to the community; Settlement resource at Space2B; New Immigrants Orientation tours with the City Council; links to, hosting and encouragement of Sustainability groups; Monthly cultural family nights; Christmas Day community dinners are just the main ones. As I read this profile I began to think that for our size we are doing very well. We are punching a way above our weight, though admittedly the proportion of my congregation participating in these is relatively small. This different denomination has all the correct words and progressive theology that would tempt me. Their thinking is good. They do a lot of "education and theologizing" which I would enjoy, but it seems all inward. It appears to be intellectual and/or spiritual "masturbation". They do not seem to be intent on connecting with their community. I could be wrong, but I guess I have to ask, "Would I fit in?" I would in many respects, because I like their words and theology. But with their apparent directions I may also find more frustration. Then again, it might be something I can change? The comparisons have been an interesting exercise. We do need to be sowing the seed. Seeds are no good just sitting in their packets, they need planting in the garden.

Sunday again... I can do so much!

2011-12-03T23:10:00.001-08:00

Just about to start last Friday's small funeral.

Life seems to be a bit of a blur lately. I am always rushing from one thing to another. Last Monday it rained so I did some work on Sunday's readings, thinking that could mean I could take some time off during the week. There has been no chance of that happening! I have been putting in some long hours and often not sleeping well at nights.
Fire aftermath
I mentioned that St John Headquarters had a bit of an explosion and fire that I came across on Thursday. I had visited it then, but had been thinking that I would pop across on Friday morning to see how people were. St John NZ had done away with Workplace Support Chaplains in favour of a counselling service people rang up for, so I had lost my paid chaplaincy job there and now continue to have contact as a voluntary chaplain. I had gone in to the office an hour earlier on Friday morning to get some work done. (I have a regular visitor for coffee on Friday mornings.) As I was working away, I had a phone call and visit from two of the leaders from St John. They asked if I could go across and spend some time chatting with staff who had been distressed by the fire etc. Of course I said "yes", whilst wondering how I was going to fit everything else in. The selfish vindictive side of me wanted say, "Where is your fancy new counselling service you replaced me with now?" I spent a big part of the morning talking with people for whom the fire had been a frightening experience. Sometimes it just added to stuff that was already happening in their lives. Later in the day I visited the hospital where a staff member had been receiving treatment for burned hands.
Community building
On Fridays a group we have assisted in getting off the ground meets in our building free of charge. They are "Women Across Cultures" a group of women from many cultures who spend the morning together. (Because of the presence of one or two women from quite strict Muslim backgrounds men are not allowed in the room.) We have a group of guys frequent our Space2B at lunch times. This last Friday the women were cooking up a lunch, a multi-cultural delicacy. They sent a message through to Space2B to see how many were there. In due course enough food to feed us all came through. I loved that sharing, it is part of my dream.
Another sad contact- the importance of crew members
I had heard that one of my fire fighters had experienced a tough situation on his day off. He was sitting watching TV when there was a fatal accident between a car and a motorbike on the road outside his house. He was first on the scene and stayed with the motorcyclist as his life ebbed out of him, then extinguished the burning bike before any other emergency services managed to get there. I knew the man was coming on duty that night so I made a trip to the fire station to see him and see how he was doing. It was interesting how he said such an incident was so different when off duty. On duty when the alarm goes of you steal yourself up to face whatever and you have your crew with you. When it is unexpected and you are alone it is harder to deal with.
Mini Stroke
We have in our congregation a man we first met through our drop-in centre, his name is Robbie. He helps out in various ways and we support him too. As I was visiting fire stations on Friday I got a text from my wife to tell me that Robbie had suffered a mini stroke and been taken to the emergency department. I went there to see him and sat outside the curtain around his bed listening as the doctor checked him out. I realised that I loved Robbie like my own brother and was feeling deeply for him. He is OK, given medication and back giving me cheek, but that too was part of my Friday.
All of the above fitted into my Friday. I worked nearly 15 hours in total.
Saturday

Me and bridegroom waiting for the bride

Long distance shot of the happy couple.

Saturday was also a busy day. I was up early and working. I conducted a wedding and attended the reception in the afternoon. I was pleased with the way I conducted the wedding and the positive vibes I got about it all. I returned home and continued working at around 11 p.m. It was about 12:30 a.m. when I went to bed and a little after 6 a.m. when I got up this morning.

Two interesting things
We New Zealanders are masters of the understatement. I had to laugh as I talked to people who had experienced the explosion and fire at St John. "It was a bit scary" meaning really I was petrified. "Just a little bit of a mess" meaning the room was a blackened stuffed up mess. "I got a bit of a fright" meaning I was scared out of my brain. Fire fighter involved with the motorcyclist said something like, "Yeah it was all a bit sad." I think he means it was a very tragic accident. Robbie said something like, "Didn't like it much!" which meant experiencing the stroke had scared the life out of him. We have a funny way of communicating our feelings. We understate them, when deep inside we have been profoundly impacted.
I am impressed with what I can do. I have been incredibly busy and having to fit a lot of stuff into each day. There have been times when I have wondered how I can possibly do it all. But I have! I have done it well too. I seem to be able to prioritise, think carefully about how to most efficiently do things and manage to come out on top. I have surprised myself with how I will write up a "to do" list and methodically work my way through it and still find creativity. Somehow the insight, the energy and the endurance "comes"... I actually feel linked to processes bigger than myself.

2011-12-01T02:01:00.001-08:00

Generous fire fighters

I had been out in the country for a wedding rehearsal. As I came back to town and down the hill toward the church I noticed fire trucks surrounding the St John Ambulance Headquarters with hoses going everywhere. There had been some sort of explosion inside. It is just across the road from the church so I went over and talked with fire fighters and Ambulance people. They were winding down the incident and I was chatting with firefighters. It was Green Watch, the crews which will be on duty on Christmas day. They came up to me and said that they will be keen to help. It was almost embarrassing their readiness to be involved. Fire fighters have assisted with our Christmas day dinner every year now since about 1995. I enjoy their involvement and their acceptance of who I am in mission and ministry. It is a real buzz on the day.

A new responsibility

Tonight we had our Night Shelter Trust meeting. I love working with the people on the Trust. Kevin our chairman of 6 years has decided to step down and I have been "promoted" to the chair. We have made great progress this year in establishing ourselves on a firmer footing and we are hoping to continue the momentum. I am going to have to rely on the whole team doing their thing if we are going to progress. They said as they left that I will have to go home and "adjust your CV." It will be quite "life-giving" working with this generally enjoyable bunch of people.

After the meeting a group of us was sitting around chatting. Into the church walked this rather spaced out looking guy. He turned out to be homeless. He went away and came back again and I eventually took him around to the night shelter. Warren our night shelter manager welcomed him (he was familiar to him) and sat him down to talk with him. It seemed a fitting end to a night of discussing the business side of our work.

Life for me even at 63 is one big interesting, though challenging adventure.

Why not vote?

2011-11-27T22:46:00.001-08:00

My daughter in law and her father when he visited them in Edinburgh earlier this year.

Apparently there was a very low voter turn out in the general election on Saturday. When there is a low turn out that is always bad news for Labour. I get frustrated when people don't vote. I can understand a certain cynicism, because you are not sure who to believe, or if you can believe any of them. Sometimes too there is not much difference between parties so apathy can creep in. But I think we have a moral responsibility to vote. We now have Mixed Member Proportional voting which means every vote has an impact on the numbers in Parliament. Under First Past The Post you sometimes felt it was a waste of time.

Last year we were privileged to meet Mr Ciaglewicz in Poland. He is my son's father-in-law. We saw him shortly after elections in Poland in July/August last year. During our visit we had a special night with him talking through the use of dictionaries, pictures and charades. Later in the evening Magda his daughter came home and we had an interpreter. (She was surprised with how well we had done communicating, and some how some of the fun and delight went out of it when she could interpret... it was too easy. ) We caught up on his life, who he was and on his history. At one stage he told us that he had been annoyed with his children because they were not inclined to vote. He pointed out that under the communists he had been a part of a group working for democracy. He risked arrest and at one stage had to move his family because of his involvement in agitating against the regime. He had risked, worked and struggled to help get a functioning democracy in Poland, and he did not like it being taken lightly.

I began to have a new appreciation for the freedoms we have here in NZ. We may feel very powerless in all the various fluctuations of life, but we can vote. We have an opportunity to express our values and perspectives on polling day. This will always involve a compromise because we will always find some aspects of a political party that we cannot identify with, but we can influence the general direction of our country. We ought to make use of the opportunity to vote.

We get the government we deserve if we fail to have our say. Such apathy annoys me. Somebody who did not vote better not gripe to me when our assets are sold, or when they feel left behind!

Sleepy Sunday afternoon.

2011-11-26T23:20:00.001-08:00

When I stopped .. I stopped!
I have had a very busy week. As well as the usual things there have been five extras that have added to the things to do list.

I had a funeral to run. A funeral for me takes an extra eight hours of work at least. This one was "different" and probably took a little longer.
I had an extra little Advent Sunday ecumenical candle lighting ceremony to prepare for, print stuff for and run.
I had a radio Church service to record.
My daughter and husband are away on holiday. They generally type and print up the Church newsletter but this week I had to do this job. On a Sunday morning they prepare some of the service power points, they slot the ones I do into the program, set up all the audio-visual equipment and operate the buttons during the service. Angela also helps with the radio service. I had to do all these tasks this week.
Christmas Community Dinner always means extra phone calls and emails to deal to at this time of the year. Each day there were people to contact about this or some phone call to respond to.

All these meant more actual hours of work. But also for me each one meant extra stress levels. I have been a minister for decades, but I still get strung out about a funeral, a radio service and Sunday services. I lose sleep over these things. After Church we had lunch up town, then when we came home I went to bed for a rest and in two seconds I was out like a light. I was really like a drunk man. I wanted to get up and do something useful, or go do some exercise, but each time I thought about doing so I just blobbed out again... for about three hours. I must have needed the sleep. ... or was it the lovely Guinness I had with my lunch?

But I CAN do it and do it well!

This week has been stressful, but at the same time I finish the week with the feeling that I am good at my job. I stressed about the very different funeral. An intimate and small one. Somehow it is easier to take a big one from behind a lectern, or at least its more familiar. I realised that a totally different approach was needed for this one. But the good thing is I could do it and do it well. I adapted! It felt OK and I could tell I was being helpful and meaningful for those involved. Yesterday I worked on the things for today. I had read extensively for the service and had been nutting out how to communicate it. As time went on I gathered material together. I planned all the different things I had to do in my mind and how to schedule them. "First I'll do this and put it on a memory stick ... then I'll do that leaflet.. then I'll write up my final draft.. then I'll do the power points.. then.. and then..." It was about 7a.m. when my wife and I got to the Church this morning. The first service we had to host was at 9:15. It all went so smoothly. I followed my plan and worked through all I had to do, and was so ready I could go up at 9:05 and chat with people arriving. For the next service also everything fell into place and while leading I could tell people were "with me". I "done good". The Genesis myth has God working on creation and five times it says; "And God saw that it was good". In the final day it says, "And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good." Well I look back on this week and even though I have not felt confident, and I stressed out frequently, and sometimes thought and said, "I can't do this!" ... as I look back I can say with pride... "I did it, and I did it well. I made a difference in people's lives! Oh yeah!"

Election blues

We in NZ had our general election yesterday. There were no surprises really. The National Party got back in and did so with an increased margin. I voted Labour so I am a bit blue today. I don't think Labour had the depth of leadership to carry the election. I am sad because I get the feel that with National the rich will get richer and the poor will be left behind. They tend to say that it is the poor's fault that they are poor. Now I am not naive enough to say that the poor never make bad choices. There are poor people I'd love to give a kick in the backside. But I am anguished by a lot of what I see. I see a growing divide between the computer literate and those who never have a chance to be that way. The simplest jobs these days often demand computer literacy. People make a few bad choices and often end up on the scrap heap of life and never catch up. Things like apprenticeships seem a thing of the past or out of the reach of many. In three out of my four chaplaincies people with responsible significant jobs are losing them. There seems to be no job security for so many people. I fear that National, even if it increases our efficiency and does balance the books, will increase these divides. The increased income will be enjoyed by the top relative few.

The other thing about National is that I just don't trust John Key. I think John Key is about John Key. He comes across smooth and smiling. His style has obviously won lots of voters. He has some sort of charisma... but ... the more I see of him the more I get concerned. He is pragmatic and will go with whatever suits at the time. I don't think he is a principled statesman. I just feel deeply uneasy and can't trust him. The one good thing about the election is that the Greens have "grown up". They doubled their share of the vote. They have well reasoned policies and a breadth of policy now that is much more attractive to "Mr and Mrs Average" kiwi. I wonder if they may even replace the labour party as the main left wing party some time in the future?

Anyway... I know the Labour Party is really in a rebuild mode and expected them to lose... but I am still sad the Tories won again.

Variety is the spice of life.

2011-11-24T20:32:00.001-08:00

On Wednesday evening a 101 year old mother of a guy from one of my chaplaincies had died. I was told that she demanded to be sent off "without a ripple". "Have a small funeral and send me off in the cheapest of boxes." My friend rang yesterday and asked me could I lead such a funeral on Friday (today) at 2:30 p.m. I went to his place at about 5:30 p.m. and was still there at 9 p.m. We had talked about his life and his family's life. He had shown me photo album after photo album. I arrived home and ate my evening meal at around 10 p.m.

During the night, when I ought to have been sleeping, I thought about how I would lead a funeral with just him, me and a friend there. I came to the office early, all dressed up in my suit pants and worked on the funeral for an hour or so. I then visited his workplace (he is actually now retired) and wandered around talking to various people.

I came back to the office and sweated over the eulogy bit. How do I approach that? It all clicked at about 12:30 p.m. and I knew the approach I should take and began writing madly. As I was preparing to leave a woman came to me asking about how we could help the "occupy Octagon" crew and talked about Christmas Day dinner. We conversed, and then I put tie and suit jacket on to rush nervously out to the crematorium.

There was me, my friend, his friend and the funeral director. We stood around the coffin and I led in an intimate, relatively informal but reverent ceremony. I was so pleased because I managed to prompt the son who had not wanted to say anything, to share a story and express his feelings. At the end I spent some time talking with the son's friend who had come. Her mum had died six weeks earlier and she shared the circumstances of her death, her anger and grief. In spite of my nervousness, everything went very well.

I jumped back in the car and went to the firestation for a cup of tea. They got a call and in spite of teasing about the "corporate look" I went with them. A big sign above a store had collapsed in high winds and they had to do something with it to make sure it did not hurt anyone. With the help of their big ladder they lowered to ground level, folded it up and put it away in a store room.

I came back to the Church and now I am in my office changing out of my suit and tie into my jeans getting ready for our Friday night drop-in centre. Tonight I'll eat sandwiches and savaloys and talk with alcoholics, drug addicts, unemployed and people with mental health problems. I will probably play pool, play heaps of table tennis and do dishes, before going home just after 10p.m.

My work is NEVER boring.

Blah.. blah.. blah.. talking, talking talking.

2011-11-23T00:23:00.001-08:00

What a mixed up day?
I spent a good deal of today in conversation at the church. We have Space2B open from eleven until three on Wednesdays - that is four hours. I had all sorts of plans to stay clear so that I could do chaplaincy hours, and other urgent work, but one conversation led to another, and to another and I got to feel that was where my responsibility lay. Different people and different groups seemed to be needing my contact. During this time I took time out to vacuum my office - I had visitors coming and wanted it reasonably tidy. Being a plumber from long ago, I also took time to fix a tap in the men's toilets at the Church which had been leaking for months. It does feel good to do just some normal physical stuff.

As well as some other work responding to emails and stuff related to Christmas dinner, answering phone enquiries and such, I had been wrestling with Advent readings. I find Advent Sunday so difficult. I believe there are many mythical, cultural and ancient aspects to the traditional readings. This makes it extremely hard to communicate something with integrity in a short time that is meaningful and helpful to modern listeners. I have an Advent Sunday Church Radio Service to record tomorrow afternoon, and even though I have read all sorts of stuff about the set readings, I really don't know where to begin! How do I put this together in time? My daughter usually helps me, but she has gone on holiday.

At three I had an appointment with a couple whose wedding I conduct on Saturday week. We sat and talked wedding plans and made decisions about that. The groom is in one of my chaplaincy work places and his bride-to-be works in the Hospital Emergency Department where my wife does voluntary work. It was a good hour together.

After they left I thought it was too late to do chaplaincy, the newspaper people get too busy, but I decided to ring a man from the there whose mother was dying. He was not home, but later rang back. She was not expected to last long he reported, he had been called out in the early hours of the morning. We talked for well over half an hour on the phone and again I thought it was good useful conversation. Shortly after I got home tonight he rang again and told me she had died. Now I have to fit some kind of funeral and pastoral care for him into my already packed week.

A whole mixture in one day...
Here is just a sample of conversation topics throughout the day...

We have unemployed people and people with mental health and sometimes intellectual disability call into Space 2B. I talked with them about their life, their living situations, their hassles and listened as they pontificated about various things. There is a group who are opening up to me a bit more every time we share. I had conversations with the group and with individuals.
A visitor from Australia chatted about NZ and asked questions about Dunedin.
There is a group of friends who meet regularly at Wednesday Space2B and we catch up with each other on what we have been doing in the week and discuss news topics and such.
One of my friends, a very supportive elder who has had some health problems called in at Space2B. He talked about recent events, hospital tests and then told me they had told him not to drive for four months. He is an active man I often lean on, who is just "there" if you need him. He is quite devastated by this limitation. We talked about this.
There is the "Occupy the Octagon" protesters in the Octagon (the centre of town) and the guy we have looking after Space2B had been to talk with them. We conversed about them and their difficulties and message. We discussed whether we as a church could help them in any way. We had no conclusions.
I discussed wedding plans with the couple, which led along various topics about such things as family, traditions and practicalities of the wedding.
With the man whose mum died I talked his mum's past life, his health concerns, his plans for the future, his feelings, as well as his thoughts for the funeral.
I had a brief email exchange about the night shelter.
I answered several phone call enquiries about our christmas dinner.
A drop-in centre guy called and showed me his latest DVD/ Blue Ray player purchase.

From the superficial to the deep. From joking together to hearing of sadness and loss. From wedding plans to funeral plans. From big issue community and political concerns to individual challenges. All these and today I did not move from the Church building.

I struggle to fit it all in, but it certainly is never boring! Now what on earth am I going to say on the radio? Oh well it will come.

Bring back the stocks

2011-11-21T14:07:00.001-08:00

It is Tuesday and I am stopping briefly for coffee. I have to let off steam, I have been brewing all day yesterday. While eating my porridge at breakfast I browsed the newspaper. On the front page there's a story of arrogant people filling up a skip belonging to somebody else. These visitors to town were emptying out the flat of their brother who had been killed in a tragic accident early in the week. They hired a skip but other people kept putting rubbish in it (Perhaps local students or landlords also cleaning out flats) and abused them when they asked them not to! This is in my book, robbery. The people had to pay out for another skip. Also on the front page vandals set fire to tents and other property at the Thyme Festival in Alexandra in Central Otago. It happened last year also. Another story covered the bashing of two young English workers in Wanaka by a group of around 12 teenagers. Inside the paper there were other examples of arrogant, ignorant sometimes alcohol induced behaviour. These stories involved drunk driving, vandalism and violence. What do you do to stop such behaviour?

One of the problems is that among the crowd such people mix in this sort of behaviour is positively reinforced. "Ha ha... I got away with using another person's skip. Good fun!" "I lit the tent on fire again... what a blast!" I have heard it in our drop-in centre and Space2B ... "Ha ... ha... I have a bad habit of hitting policemen... silly bastards." and the group giggles in admiration. Even if such people are caught by the authorities and brought before the courts, that is almost a badge of honour amongst their peers! I see guys and girls come into drop-in centre and boast, "I went to court today! Just got fined!" or "Just got community service... yeah right?" Amongst their peers they are heroes! What is needed is for them to be exposed to a wider group of society who will tell them what dirt bags they are.
Bring back the stocks... well something like them.
In olden days they had stocks. Bad guys were put in stocks in the middle of town and the passing people could throw rotten fruit at them or abuse them and tell them what they think of their actions. I say, "Bring back the stocks!" ... or some modern equivalent of them. These guys need to be told that their actions are not laudable. To be told that just by the court system is not working. Why not make them sit in the middle of town with a written description of their crime in front of them, so that they can see that most people think they are not heroes, but crap?

I know I sound like a right-wing fascist but sometimes amongst some of the people I mix with I despair. So many are on a downward spiral, and maybe some tough love is needed to get them on the right track? I mentioned before a young woman I know who is a drug and alcohol addict who uses and abuses people and the system to survive and steals to feed her lifestyle. She is in hell and heading downhill fast. The courts just piddle around with little bits of sentences. She thinks there is nothing much wrong with her lifestyle. Would it hurt her to be made to sit in town with a description of what she does for all to read? Nothing else seems to work. The judges words fall on deaf ears. The love and care of others is just abused. Perhaps she needs made to go cold turkey and shocked out of the rut she has got herself into?

I am semi-serious about this approach and maybe expressing frustration and just stirring. But something like this could have merit. Some way of communicating unmistakably that this behaviour is NOT OK needs to be invented.

Thank God its Sunday night

2011-11-20T00:21:00.001-08:00

I get a bit stressed in my ministry work. It is OK, it really is part of who I am. I go off to sleep at nights only to wake an hour or so later and in my head I begin to "work"... stew; think of all I have to fit in; remember things I haven't done and should have done; think of all that could go wrong in the day ahead; ... so I lose sleep. This does not help my frame of mind. I generally cope, however, and few people know the lack of confidence, the stress and the mixed feelings going on inside. I had one of those grossly disturbed nights on Wednesday night. I had a full day on Thursday and at 10 a.m. I had to fit in "supervision" with my counsellor type lady. Well I tried to get heaps done in the office before I went, and ran most of the distance from my office to hers. I got lost in the building looking for her office. A man came out of his work room and took one look at me and said, "You will be needing 'Psychological services' that's their door there!" How did he know that? When I got in her room I plonked down and was totally uninhibited, blurting out all my frustrations and annoyances. When I stopped to draw a breath, she said, "Well that's a lot off your chest all in one go?" During the next three quarters of an hour she challenged me. I had talked about retirement. She said, "You won't make retirement the way you're going. I don't want to visit you in hospital!" She told me that with the way I see my work, and the church "you are very alone." (though she likes the way I see things) "Where do you get your strength from?" she asked. I thought I knew, but I don't think she understood or I think she felt it was inadequate. She told me to sort out where I was "flogging dead horses" and to stop doing it. "Pat them on the bum and leave them!" Anyway time was up and I went walking on my way to my most awkward chaplaincy. I do feel sorry for her trying to sort me out. Where am I flogging dead horses? I do not think things are as clear cut as she thinks. All my dead horses occasionally draw a breath.
Talking and doing
There have been meetings around here about poverty and about bridging the gap between rich and poor. Some of them I did not know about until it was too late and the others I have been too busy to attend. I know that there are two ways of working to help the needs of the poor. One is to share resources with them and help them in their situation. (e.g. Night Shelter, Habitat for Humanity and our Drop-in centre) The other is to work at changing the structures that make them poor in the first place and that makes sense. I think the people holding the meetings would feel that this is what they are doing. That is legitimate. I wished I had time to go, but I was too busy doing stuff for our Christmas dinner, the night shelter and such. I do get the feel still that a lot of people think they have done something for the poor when they have just talked about them! Having said that, I could do with thinking more about the structures. Don't know where to start on that? I guess a good start would be with my vote in the election next Saturday.
Small things
I walked up "my" mountain last night. I always enjoy the walk. The scenes on the way and from the top are expansive. But as I neared the top I saw something beautiful. Up against a rock I saw this line up of small dainty blue flowers. How do they survive in the winds up there? I took a photo. This made me look at lots of small things. Mosses and fungi on rocks making colourful patterns. Lichen on trees. Little plants surviving beside the path. I realised that, as well as the expansive views there were these small patches of beauty to appreciate. We often miss beautiful things and people in life, especially if they are "small".

Having a blue Christmas? Christmas Dinner Dunedin

2011-11-16T23:56:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow a whole lot of advertisements will go out to various agencies informing them of our Christmas Day dinner.

The poster goes like this:

Having a blue Christmas?

If you are alone on Christmas day or need a Christmas day dinner

why not join us?

A group of us will be celebrating Christmas Dinner at the Church

you are welcome to be with us.

Where?: Church of Christ Community corner of St Andrew and Filleul Streets, Dunedin

When? : Christmas day beginning at 11:30 a.m. - around 1:45 p.m.

What?: Hot Christmas meal with Pavlova and plum pudding for dessert.

Christmas cake to finish off.

Music and people to meet and enjoy.

How do I get there?: Transport is offered if you cannot get there.

Cost?: Free!

We ask that you book in by phoning the Church on (03) 4774848

This is our 23rd Christmas Day dinner. If you are in Dunedin and want to join us feel free to give us a call. If you know of people who could do with a special day then point them in our direction. The great thing is that already people's generosity has started and we will do it all again, and have fun doing it.

Why?

2011-11-15T14:47:00.001-08:00

Can anyone tell me- Where the hell does someone in pain for months slowly dying of cancer fit into God's good creation? Life can really be a bugger sometimes.

I actually don't think there is an answer to the question, but having just come off the phone to my sister the question is screaming inside me.

Doing good

2011-11-14T23:44:00.001-08:00

I read a page in the local paper about the famous basketball player Magic Johnson. Magic Johnson retired from basket ball when he contracted the HIV virus. Twenty years later he continues to live well, has done heaps for HIV sufferers and has been an inspiration to many. He said this recently....

"I have to tell you, I'm proudest of my life off the court. There will always be great basketball players who bounce that little round ball, but my proudest moments are affecting people's lives, effecting change, being a role model in the community."

I recall Sir Edmund Hillary, that great Kiwi adventurer said something very similar about his heroic adventures. His efforts on Mt Everest and in the Antarctic were great, but his work among the Nepalese people he saw as an achievement of real value. I think these words are great. They remind us that the greatest thing we can do is make a difference in people's lives. All Black rugby players can learn from such greats who use the fame they have earned for good, and go on to do really good stuff after their career.

I could not help but contrast the above statement with one that was made in my office today. This young man comes to our drop-in activities and had tried to support a young woman who was a drug and alcohol addict. In spite of our warnings otherwise he thought she had changed and wanted to support her. I think he thought we were being hard nosed and intolerant. Unfortunately he found out otherwise, it all turned to custard. "I feel really crap!" he said, "I thought doing good for others was meant to make you feel good?" I empathised with him and told him I thought his goodness could contribute in the long run. It is true though, sometimes you have to do good in the face of few returns.

I believe doing good is ultimately immensely rewarding. Even though you may feel like you are banging your head against a wall, you know you have tried to do something worthwhile. Others just go through life paddling in the shallows. Along the way there are times when you "feel like crap."

I know I have posted the last four days, like I have verbal diarrhea, but I just had to share this while it was fresh in my mind. Forgive me.

Thinking on Muslims while gardening.

2011-11-13T21:39:00.001-08:00

My day off.

I sit here with a cold beer at hand and delightfully aching shoulders and back. I have had a good day off mostly digging in the garden. I went out to the vegetable garden where I had prepared some ground near a climbing frame. I planted snow peas, the ones you eat pod and all raw. I love them. I put in radish seeds as well, because they are a great encouragement to any gardener - I'll eat them in a few weeks. I was then instructed to fill the hen's hopper with mash. While doing this I noticed that the bolt on the hen house had self destructed. We have a hen house which I constructed out of old walls from a house 23 years ago. It isn't pretty but has housed hens all that time. I set about with carpentry tools to repair the door. We then concentrated on doing some serious work in the vegetable garden. My wife has her patch, which is more fruitful than mine. I have my patches which largely get neglected and any vegetables have to grow among weeds. It was a nice warm day and we worked steadily in our respective patches. We had Max our old dog watching us on one side and our two goats lying in the paddock also checking us out. Max is very old for his breed and has some health concerns so I suspect he will not be around for much longer. He seemed to enjoy his day in the vege garden with us. I dug and prepared a big patch of ground, working away in this idyllic setting. A duck and five ducklings wandered in the next door paddock. The birdsong in the surrounding trees was lovely background music. Wood pigeons flew from tree to tree. I saw one and I am sure he was just showing off his flying skills. He would fly upwards fast, stall, slide backwards then break off into a glide like a stunt pilot. Late in the afternoon the place became more idyllic - for a while. I heard someone singing in the distance and looked on the hill in the farm paddock a distance away. It looked like a teenage boy sitting singing, the sheep munching in the paddock nearby. "How neat" I thought and remembered my son when he was much younger wandering through the long grass of a farmer's paddock singing at the top of his voice. I continued digging and the noise changed. I could not make out the sentences or words except one oft repeated word. It sounds like duck, but starts with an "F". I looked up, he was quite a distance away, but I think he was talking on his cell phone and yelling, " F.... blah blah F blah blah blah F blah blah blah... F'ing... blah blah blah...F'ed blah blah.. etc." Whoever he was talking to had obviously annoyed him and he was yelling down the phone at them. This word, and no others, kept coming across the paddock at me as clear as a bell. In the end he let out a whole lot of "F's" in a row, put his phone in his pocket and stormed off toward his house. "Oh well" I thought, "Sometimes I have felt like that!" In the quietness and beauty of this scene, it was a funny change.

Muslims

During the day I had to send some emails and checked for responses regularly. Like a lot of people, I receive emails that are circulating around. Some are jokes which are a good laugh. Some have thoughtful and encouraging messages in them. Others I receive seem to be hate mail against Muslims. There seems to be a movement in America itching for an all out war with them, and some of the emails make me angry. Some are concerned about the increasing Muslim presence. Here is an extract from one such email...

There are now thousands of mosques throughout Europe . With larger congregations than there are in churches. And in every European city there are plans to build super-mosques that will dwarf every church in the region. Clearly, the signal is: we rule.

Many European cities are already one-quarter Muslim: just take Amsterdam , Marseille and Malmo in Sweden . In many cities the majority of the under-18 population is Muslim. Paris is now surrounded by a ring of Muslim neighborhoods. Mohammed is the most popular name among boys in many cities.

In some elementary schools in Amsterdam the farm can no longer be mentioned, because that would also mean mentioning the pig, and that would be an insult to Muslims.

Many state schools in Belgium and Denmark only serve halal food to all pupils. In once-tolerant Amsterdam gays are beaten up almost exclusively by Muslims. Non-Muslim women routinely hear 'whore, whore'. Satellite dishes are not pointed to local TV stations, but to stations in the country of origin.

These emails worry me. We have a world which is under stress for all sorts of reasons. Economically the world is struggling. We face considerable environmental problems. There are tensions all around, and such winding up of tensions feels a little like a pile of dry straw around fireworks. People also point to very angry and warlike statements by various Muslims. How do we respond? What does a Jesus follower do? As I dug my garden my mind was stewing on these things. I have no easy answers, but I firmly believe two things.

We desperately need genuine followers of Jesus.

Where there is a vacuum air rushes in to replace the emptiness. I think that in religious terms where the Churches are weak in true faithful following of Jesus, Muslim faith, or any other faith can fill the void. Where Churches have little real influence in western society, other faiths and lifestyles will fill the void. As I look at Church life these days I often see weak imitations of the real thing. Where Christian faith appears strong it is often a very self serving, "bless me Jesus", "spiritual masturbation" type of religion. It can be very fundamentalist in nature. In the face of the increasing presence and awareness of Islam, such a religion feels threatened, builds walls and sometimes even encourages a military response to resist that which is seen as evil. Often in other churches I see a nominalism and a weak "Churchianity", rather than genuine followers of Jesus. Such a faith goes to Church on Sunday but essentially lives by the same secular, materialistic values as the world around about them. I believe in these times it is important that we do our best to be full-on genuine followers of Jesus, truly open to his ways of love. The Apostle Paul pleads, "Let love be genuine" and encourages the early Christians, even in a situation where they were being persecuted to do their best to live in harmony and so commend the gospel. Jesus presents a picture of a servant community, where his disciples are in the world as servants. Communities of true disciples of Jesus, display a wholesome, useful, life-enhancing lifestyle which is not a vacuum, but an attractive force for good and for love. As a minister and workplace chaplain I spend a lot of time among non-christian people. One man at a fire-station said recently, "Since when did Churches bring good news? Its always bad news, judgement and death." Of course he is wrong, but because of the weakness of so much that is called Christianity, there seems to be little evidence to counter his statement. Communities of true loving, active servant disciples will not have to defend themselves, they will be living their truth in such a way that it would be hard to argue against.

In these times we need to believe in the power of love.

We call ourselves "christian" and say we are following Jesus, but often we do not believe in the essential truth he died expressing. Our Churches are filled with crosses. The cross reminds us of the power of evil - a good man was put to death by the religious and political leaders of his day. But the cross is seen as a symbol of triumph. We believe that somehow in the death, the love of God in Jesus had power over evil. Jesus went to the cross believing that the path of love, even though it meant death, is more powerful than evil. We as his disciples struggle to have the same faith. When something like Islam threatens us, sometimes in the name of our religion we see the answer lies in hatred, resistance and military force. We forget the heart of the gospel - love conquers evil. Martin Luther King says, "The only thing that has any power to turn enemies into friends is love." Studdart Kennedy writes, "I believe that evil dies, love lives on, loves on and conquers all". I believe that in these times the followers of Jesus must overcome any evil that is in our communities or a part of expressions of the Muslim faith by out-loving the opposition. Whatever our response to the increasing Muslim presence should be, it must remember, trust and rely upon the power of love.

Sunday night stewing.

2011-11-12T23:54:00.001-08:00

Stadium concert
The local newspaper, the Otago Daily Times turns 150 years tomorrow. They celebrated by putting on a free community concert at Dunedin's new stadium. You had to put a gold coin donation into a bucket for "can kids" which I think is a kids cancer appeal.- Well 50% of the money went to the kids. The concept of the community concert was quite good. It was an OK concert. I struggled to hear the words of the songs and even of the announcers from where I was sitting. It was loud enough but somehow distorted. I haven't worked out whether it is me going deaf, the sound system or the presenters. I enjoyed the occasion, the music and the dancers. :-) I even enjoyed seeing the stadium in action.

The thing that rankled about the concert is that it seemed also to be a celebration of the building of the stadium. At some stages during the concert it seemed like the "old boys network" of the city were saying, "See we won!" The stadium was built in spite of quite a lot of opposition. There were, in my view, some questionable communications and politicking and it has laid a substantial financial burden on the city. ( i.e. Rate payers like me.) I like the stadium, it is a good addition to an area where there are a number of sport facilities. But I was not a fan of the stadium. It seemed to me the city fathers had put a lot of money into the old rugby ground, building all sorts of additions. Then a relatively short time later they decided it was not good enough, and now have poured untold money into this new stadium. I think it is great pity somebody did not do some future planning a long time ago. It would have been a lot cheaper all around. I also question why one sector of the community, i.e. the rugby fraternity, gets so much assistance from public money. (This goes wider than just the stadium) The gloating about the stadium rankled, because I think those opposed had some legitimate concerns, some of which have been vindicated by financial hassles within the council. Now it is a reality, I hope it gets used well.

Fifty years ago when the paper turned 100 I was a paper boy getting up early every morning and delivering the Otago Daily Times. I became a skilled paper boy. I could fold papers better than others, carry more papers than others and deliver faster. At one stage I was delivering papers in the morning and again with the evening paper. Sometimes during holiday times I would do three runs with the evening paper. I enjoyed my paper runs partly because as a loner in a fairly crowded family I could have time alone doing my own thinking. That year they gave us each a book of cartoons from the cartoonist, a very clever cartoonist, by the name of Sid Scales. I still have my copy.

A photo taken about 20 minutes before the main concert.

The book that they gave me as a paper boy 50 years ago.

"Gee you take on some tricky subjects!"

This is what a man told me about the subject of our service this morning. I told them last week I was going to tell them how to vote. I think some people turned up just to check out what I was going to say. I remained "neutral", I did not push one party above the other. What I did was to raise the sorts of things I believe followers of Jesus need to consider as they cast a vote on election day. In NZ election day is on November 26th. I suspect the National Party that is currently government will be returned. Here is the outline of my sermon.

As a political party works out how it handles the economy, it must include caring for the poor.

I pointed to biblical passages in the Old Testament where the understanding of God is that he had a concern for the poor. Consistently the biblical writers highlight that the nation if it is living God's ways, will not neglect the needs of the poor. The prophets of old in a sense warn "Neglect the poor at your peril!" They talked in terms of the judgement of God, but the language rightly understood is that they are saying the consequences of neglecting the poor is bad for any nation. (We could widen that to include the world economy) Every party thinks that its way of handling the economy is better than the other. We must check to see that they support the needy. The National Party has billboards up saying "Vote National for a brighter future!" or some such wording. The sceptic in me wants to get a paint can and add the question, "For whom?" That's the question I believe we need to ask of any party's economic plans.

There are wider important issues to consider than just the economy.

As the parties campaign you get the feeling that the economy is the only issue at steak. But there are other issues. We need to be asking "What sort of ethos do this party's policies encourage in our country?" Are we accepting of other cultures? How do we value our people who are "different"? We can think of people with mental health or intellectual difficulties. Is our education system just geared toward fitting people to participate in the economic world, or do we try to build more rounded, whole people, able to appreciate wider and deeper aspects of life? Are any particular groups made to be scapegoats for some of the ills of society? Do the policies feed on stereotype ideas of various groups? We need to be asking as we select the party to vote for, "What sort of society do we want New Zealand to be?"

We need to have leadership in Government who are willing to look after the world we live in.

Our world is struggling to cope with the western life style. We are running out of oil. The oil we get these days is a lot harder to extract and will not last for ever. This predicament will put pressure on the economies, increase tensions between countries and ultimately really impact on the poor and powerless. We are contributing to global warming and ultimate significant and damaging climate change. These are just a couple of indicators that the planet is under stress from our lifestyle. As followers of Jesus we are called to care for this earth that we have been gifted. It is also a justice issue. What sort of earth are we going to leave for future generations? Whoever is in government needs to be tackling these big questions. The times we live in require leaders who encourage exploration of these issues. We need to be finding ways we can adapt to these realities and still have a good lifestyle. As a society we will have to modify our behaviour, find solutions and make changes. The party we choose to vote for must have the insight to at least be facing up to these circumstances, now before it is too late.

Anyway that's my thinking. I think I'll be voting for the Labour party, even though they seem a bit at a loss at the moment. We are also having a referendum about our voting system. I like our current "Mixed Member Proportional" electoral system. I think it is fair, more truly representative of the will of the people, and allows the voice of the smaller parties to be heard. These often bring a more careful consideration of issues and some modifying of more rigid perspectives.

That's my thoughts tonight. Tomorrow is my day off!

Busyness and "missionaries"

2011-11-11T13:55:00.001-08:00

Blood bank appointment.
On Thursday morning I had an 8:10 a.m. appointment with the blood bank. (My 20th donation they informed me) I arrived and went through the normal checks. As I settled into the couch/bed thingy (they would be great to have at home) the nurse proceeded to stick the needle in and get my blood flowing to a plastic bag that rocks away beside the bed. Making small talk the nurse asked if I had a big day ahead of me. I hesitated, then said "Yes, till about 9 tonight." Then came the inevitable question I often hate, "What do you do?" 'Here comes the end to the conversation' I thought. As soon as you say, "I am a church minister" people often stop talking. I said that then went on to explain that I do workplace chaplaincy as well. This conversation did continue for a while and was quite pleasant. As I sat there with my blood flowing out of me thinking about my day ahead it dawned on me that I do work long hours. That day I had two chaplaincies to visit, a New Immigrants' tour to help host, preparation to do and a meeting to attend. As it turned out my carefully planned timetable was interrupted by a visit to a man and his sister whose 101 year old mum is nearing the end of her life.
Busy but OK about it
I decided as I sat there doing some mental arithmetic that I "work" around 60 hours a week. I do find these days that I tend to have "flat" days every now and then when my work is slow because I am a bit burned out. The next day, however, I hit my straps again so I accept this cycle. My "work" is interesting in that I go from being a minister in Church to a chaplain "out there." I pass from being a thoughtful reader and contemplative to an active conversationalist. My job can involve doing administration to practical furniture moving, venue preparing activity. I tend to have each day loaded with things to do so I am moving from one to the other with a sense of adventure. Lunch times are also work. Often because it involves conversation it does not feel like work. I will say sometimes, "I better go do some work." and the people I am talking to in Space2B or chaplaincy will remind me, "You are working! This is your work!" I still look forward to retirement though, I guess long to be free of constantly having stuff to do over my head.
Youth with a Mission
I arrived at the drop-in centre after a busy Friday. My wife informed me that three of the guests at the Drop-in that night were to be young people from Youth with a Mission. A part of their training, apparently is to hit the road with little in their pocket and visit places. These three, two young women and a guy, had hitched rides from Ashburton and arrived in town and had found out that we ran a Friday night drop-in centre. "Everybody knows this church" they said about their detective work around town. They had no accommodation planned, it is all part of "having faith". They were all from overseas and I found out, in the little conversation we managed, they were attractive nice people to talk with. We fed them alongside the others at the drop-in, (telling them that we do not preach at people) they mixed constructively with people and even did some dishes.(A big plus in my book) I lined up some accommodation at the night shelter and dropped them there. Perhaps I should have been more christian and had them at our home? I am just not sure about the process? We could have used them better if we knew they were coming? Does God want us to bludge off others in the way they are doing? Perhaps I am bludging off others? After-all people donate to pay me. Anyway I got them two nights' accommodation. It does make you think though. Here were keen Christian young people, I wonder, how did they perceive what we were doing at the drop-in centre? Maybe I'll ask them if I see them again. As we showed them to their room at the Night Shelter, the naughty side of me felt jealous. What a great life this young guy from Finland had - swanning around the country with two gorgeous young women! I think I'll join Youth With A Mission! :-)

Me at a summit?

2011-11-09T02:53:00.000-08:00

I went to this resilience summit the other day. This was the one where the invitation involved flattery. You may well ask what on earth do you mean by "resilience"?
The situation
There was quite a lot of reading in preparation for this summit and it all seemed bad news. There seemed to be a whole lot of things happening which meant that our lifestyle is under threat. The rise in the world population and the need for this greater population to be drawing on the resources of the world. There is also the reality that oil is fast running out. It is becoming more and more difficult to get. Once it would cost the equivalent of one barrel of oil to get fifty barrels of oil. These days the average is something like 1:17 and in the sands of Canada 1:4. Some suggest that "peak oil" has been reached and oil production is all down hill from here. The best estimates are that there is about thirty years left of oil resources. Whatever happens, oil prices will keep rising dramatically, this will cause economic recession, tensions and difficulties in all sorts of areas. To give an example. Much of the food we in NZ buy in the supermarkets is imported. (This is silly and more a matter of taste because NZ surely can grow enough to feed itself?) But when oil gets expensive this food becomes even more expensive or more difficult to get. When the February Christchurch earthquake happened Dunedin ran out of bread! This was because bread production had largely been centralised in Christchurch. Oil prices would make such a plan costly and unsustainable. The third lot of bad news surrounds climate change. It is, to my mind, unquestionably true that we humans are contributing to the factors that lead to global warming and climate change. The news is all bad with dire predictions for the years ahead. The papers presented gave indications about what parts of Dunedin would be severely affected by sea level rise. It gave good and bad news about the implications of climate change with an increased risk of flooding. These are just the main indicators that our current lifestyle is overloading our planet and its systems. There are changes that need to happen.
Resilience
"Resilience" in this context means the ability to adapt to the new situation and respond creatively, enabling a good lifestyle to continue. This summit drew together a bunch of people in our city so that we can make some sort of report to the local city council with ideas about how our city can best respond and adapt to the circumstances facing us. We heard three speakers and then split up into groups where we discussed such topics as energy, food supply, rising sea level impacts, climate change challenges and transport. They invited a total of one hundred citizens they thought worth inviting and I was, for some reason, one of them. I was told that I would be the only clergy type person there, which was a sad reflection on where people felt the religious community was at.
Admiration and jealousy
As I listened to speakers, I was particularly impressed with two of them. One lady in fifteen minutes gave a great summary of the situations we face. I wished I had a copy of her slides and speech. It was concise but full of hard hitting facts. The other impressive speech was given by a third year law student who talked from a young persons point of view. He spoke passionately about how the older generation (me and younger) were really loading problems, debt and issues on generations yet to come. An example he gave was actions that led to the extinction of species, which future generations may not get to see. The price of our inaction on climate change will be carried by younger and future generations. He spoke well and made sense. When we broke up into groups I was impressed by the articulate thinkers in my group. I enjoyed the way they discussed things and the speed with which they heard and responded to one another. I just listened for a long time then began to raise questions. I always admire quick and articulate minds, but at the same time there is a little jealousy. I think of things but only as I am walking back to the office or lying in bed stewing on my day.
World view/values issues
This whole subject raises questions about our whole world view and understanding about life. We see progress as "growth". The political parties are campaigning in NZ and the main issues are the economy and growth. People are "successful" if they make money, have a big house and car and consume more. But the issues facing our world tell us the world cannot sustain such a world view and these values any longer. To change our impact we have to begin to rethink our values. We need to re-evaluate our values and what we see as what makes life "good". Many of the suggestions we threw around were good but were in essence just band-aids. Some how a new way of understanding life needs to be explored.
Where do I fit in?
On this whole area of resilience and sustainability I have been a quiet supporter. Ever since I read the book "Enough is enough" by John V Taylor away back in the 70's I have dabbled in a more sustainable, simpler lifestyle. More recently I have used the resources of the church building to support sustainability courses and efforts in Dunedin. I have not been involved myself, so much as helping support other's work. This Summit experience is making me think that maybe this is a cause I should get off my bum about and put some action into. Maybe I should join Sustainability Dunedin and help them along with my time and talents. Anyway I enjoyed talking with the people and found an affinity with them. I was energised and inspired. "The sacred" is in this movement, even though religious people have not caught up on where he is. Watch this space!

My wife was wrong...

2011-11-07T01:10:00.000-08:00

Just a few photos from my evening bike ride.

I rode down the boat harbour wall to watch Kayakers. Dunedin's new stadium is in the background.

Some guys working late doing a new sign on the exterior of the stadium. Rather them than me in that cage up so high. I saw them there early in the day too.

This road has been blocked for a while but I think people were moving the barriers to suit. The lumps of concrete have been added. I REALLY don't think they want the road used.

I often write about "my" Mount Cargill. Here it is from down at the CBD level. It is on the northern outskirts of Dunedin. It is the lump with the radio tower on it. The second lump to the right is Butters Peak.

I had a good day off today. We went up town for morning tea and did some shopping. I bought a hard drive and a fancy new multifunction power tool. In the afternoon I did some gardening and in the evening went for a bike ride. This is where my wife was wrong. (It happens from time to time ... I don't always tell her when she is wrong.) She said that there was no wind. It is often very calm where we are. Because of this when I was contemplating what I would do for exercise she suggested that I go for a bike ride. I got on my bike but when I got out onto the harbour road I discovered I had a stiff tail wind which meant a head wind on the way home. I usually don't enjoy pushing into a wind on the return journey when you are already tired, but tonight I did enjoy getting out on my bike. Because I filled my day up with shopping, digging and biking I have not thought much about work, it has been a good switched off day. I had a phone call around lunch hour which I had to respond to and as part of that the lady wanted me to name a time when she and I could get together this week. I said I would email her my diary. I got to thinking about the week ahead. I am going to struggle to find time to fit her in! I thought my week was easier this week? I'll have to rob Peter to pay Paul again. I looked for an evening when I could do some more digging or climb my mountain. I discovered I am out for four of the next five nights. It is a full on life I lead. We have had three phone calls today from people booking in for our Christmas day community dinner. We also had one from a person wanting to volunteer. The silly season has started for us, but I will enjoy it. It will be our 23rd Community Christmas Day Dinner.

Sunday night again.

2011-11-06T01:47:00.000-07:00

Sunday afternoon walk.
I went up "my" Mount Cargill from Bethunes Gully, the longest track. As I was headed up I encountered a lot of women trampers of all ages coming down. One I did not recognise at first said a warm "Hello". She was a woman from one of my chaplaincies and stopped to talk awhile. I asked why all these women and she told me it was a tramping group. They had started at 8 a.m. and done three peaks.... Flagstaff, across to Swampy summit and then over to Mount Cargill. I said I was so jealous, what a great way to spend the day. I told her I loved to walk up Mount Cargill. She enthusiastically replied, "You should join a tramping club!" I said ruefully, "Maybe when I retire." I know that with my schedule I could not be part of a club just now. I have explored running clubs, cycling clubs and tramping clubs but as a minister I cannot really participate in any of these. Sundays are often their main day for activity and I am too busy during the week to be involved. I wonder if I will regret the job I am in later in life?
I took the video because I wanted to communicate the sounds I enjoy on the walk. I like the sound of the little waterfalls. I also love the evening birdsong though its not in the video.
Wedding
I conducted a wedding ceremony on Saturday. The bride was a lady in her forties who I had met on Habitat for Humanity sites and who had been part of committees I was on. She is a very nice lady and we were thrilled when she developed this friendship with a nice guy, that evolved into them getting engaged. They asked if I would take the wedding and if they could have it in our Church, with refreshments to follow. There were to be only a few people there. I woke on Saturday morning with a dusting of snow on our cars and went in to town to meet the couple at the church. Together with her mum we set up tables and coffee machines and food. I went off to the office to finish the preparations for the wedding and the bride and groom went to different rooms to change out of their jeans. We all appeared all polished up and we had a brief but meaningful wedding ceremony. They had asked me if I would be happy for an elderly (86yrs) woman who is in their church cell group to pray for them. They asked her just before the ceremony and on cue she rose in beautiful fashion, held each of the couples hands and led in a beautiful heartfelt prayer of support for the couple. We then shared in sandwiches, dessert and cake together in the Church Friendship room. It was a sensible, meaningful and warm intimate wedding. A privilege to be a part of it.
People
I have said this before... I am lucky to be involved with people. I went to one chaplaincy on Wednesday and for a short time on Thursday. I was warmly greeted and chatted with people there. With one young man I worked out that I had taken the wedding of his girlfriends parents. He was quite intrigued as we talked about the family. I called at the brewery on Thursday also. In some ways it was not an official visit, because it was not my week, but I talked with about four people and we talked like old friends easily dropping into significant conversation. It was as I was walking back from the brewery that I felt privileged to have the job I have. On Friday I visited fire stations. Of course I gave cheek and received good natured abuse but again I was warmly received. One man followed me out to the car and expressed appreciation sincerely and warmly for how I had led his dad's funeral. During the week I rang another man from a chaplaincy whose wife was in hospital. We talked briefly about her condition then he thanked me for touching base and said he would be in touch if he needed me, but mean time he will "abuse me as usual". We laughed and said our goodbyes. I get to be friends with a lot of people, it is special and I should appreciate it more.

Snow at low levels on Saturday morning in November!

Jason and Raewyn after their wedding with their friend Barbara who led the prayer of support.

A bridge on my Mt Cargill walk.

The path when you return to Bethunes Gully.

Welcome back sleepless nights.

2011-11-01T14:14:00.000-07:00

I have been on holiday for a week. We arrived home yesterday morning, I dropped off my luggage and raced into the office. I went home from work sometime after 8 p.m. after an Elders' Board meeting and then did some reading for Sunday's service. I went to bed with my traditional cup of Horlicks and dropped off to sleep easily. At around 1:30 I was wide awake for a toilet visit, then lay there stewing on my week ahead. "How do I fit all the stuff in? " - "How am I going to handle that sleazy man I have to confront?" - "What will I preach on this week - follow the epistle lectionary and preach on 'death' or do a service thinking about questions to ask when voting?" - "What am I going to say at the wedding on Sunday? When am I going to prepare for the wedding? Stink! I said I would attend a professional development day on Friday? I'll have to remember to cancel my usual Friday morning coffee with a friend!" - "Will I keep on at the chaplaincy I want to drop till Christmas? How is the Church going to afford me when I drop it? How am I going to fit the hours in this week?" - "When can I fit in going back to see my brother-in-law? When will I get back into the garden?" "I need to get into Christmas day dinner plans!" - "What is going to happen at the church in two years when I retire? Perhaps I'll hang around and support them? No I don't want to continue this stress, distortion and compromise! But then I'll be seen as a quitter and not practicing what I preach?...." ... so it went on... I was still awake at 5 a.m. ... During my week off I had slept soundly (except in strange beds there were times I missed the comfort of "my" pillows and "my" water bed.) ... Welcome back to the real world. Landed with a thud! Now I can't settle, our old dog Max is at the vet for xray and blood tests. Apparently the vet said, "He is old for a dog of his type?" I will miss him if this is the end. ... not going to have any more pets! Settle Dave... you have work to do! Roll on retirement!

Life is not always fair - bugger!

2011-10-31T16:00:00.000-07:00

A new theologicalword.

This morning I havevisited my sister and her husband. It was a very emotional visit. Mybrother-in-law Alex has got terminal cancer and in recent weeks they have hadtrouble controlling his pain levels. As we said “goodbye” after our visit todayand shared hugs all around, our eyes watered up. Dunedin is about 5 hours’ drive away from Christchurch, itis a long way to go to visit again. He is my sister’s third husband. With husband number one (whose companyI enjoyed) she had three children, all adults now. She married husband numbertwo and while I got on OK with him, I did think she deserved better. Withoutgoing into details, husband number one and two, in different ways did the dirtyon my sister. About three yearsago I took a happy wedding when she married Alex, husband number three. Alexseems to be a really good bloke who loves and respects my sister. He has agenerous heart and a nice manner about him. I have been wrapt because my sister found someone decent,loving, who was good for her and she was good for him. I thought she had found someone reallygood and that they would grow old together. But over a year ago they told himhe had about two months to live because of his cancer. Now I hope you willexcuse a minister some highly theological words that express deep truths aboutthese events. …. Bugger! ..... Sometimes life stinks! “Shit” really does “happen.”

I don’t believe Godcaused it or that God is “calling him home.” I do not think the cancer is therefor any mysterious purpose that “God alone can see.” I just think it is one ofthe tragedies of life. There simply are no guarantees in life.

Courage and love arebeautiful

When I was atintermediate school I did woodwork. We made a wooden stool. (The legs I madenever quite fit tightly into the holes in the top so mine kept falling apart)Our woodwork teacher had us polishing the top. It was a great revelation to me.It looked like just a normal boring piece of wood, but as I sanded it andscraped it a beautiful wood grain emerged. The wood grain was always there, butit was shown off and seen in the hard work of polishing. That is what ishappening with my sister and my brother-in-law. As he faces the prospect of notbeing around and as he endures the pain and steady decline in what he can do,his courage and character is emerging and being seen as something beautiful. Asthey travel through this experience together the real love relationship that mysister and Alex have is being seen. They are supporting each other. They remainever more deeply linked. She is helping him bear the pain. The love they haveshines in the darkness. Now let me be clear. This is what is happening in themidst of tragedy because of the character of these two people and the nature oftheir friendship. I have heardsome people say things like, “See there is a purpose in it after all – God isworking his purpose out.” I donot believe God causes such things to teach us about courage and love!Shit happens, but in the shit, courage and love can still shine forth and lifeand love out-shine tragedy. It istrue the power of God’s ways is being seen, but that is not why it ishappening. That is because two brave people are doing their best.

I still say “bugger!Life is not fair!” but because of the character of this couple, andtheir openness to the sacred ways and values, I can also say, “Isn’tlife, love and courage beautiful?” It was a privilege to spend timewith them today.

The Desiderata says, “Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full oftrickery.  But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;  many personsstrive for high ideals;  and everywhere life is full of heroism.

  Be yourself.  Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment  it is as perennial as thegrass.”  

Photo of me signing the register for Alex and Katherine's wedding in February 2009. Alex is the big guy in grey shirt looking on.

Weekend off with family

2011-10-29T21:24:00.000-07:00

We have spent Fridaynight, Saturday and Sunday morning at Lake Tekapo with our family who are inNew Zealand. On Saturday night we rang our son and daughter in law in Edinburgh.It was really good, my son in Auckland and his wife made the big trip all theway down, flying into Christchurch and driving a rental car down with ourChristchurch son. In total there was my wife and I, my daughter from Dunedinand her husband; our foster daughter (who has severe intellectual handicaps) ourChristchurch son and the Auckland couple. – Eight of us. While it was veryshort we had a good time. They are good company.

We arrived on Fridaynight and as we unpacked there was laughter. My wife and daughter had boughtfood for the weekend. They forgot who was buying what and had doubled up onquite a few vegetables. I had thought that the boys like a quiet drink so hadbought a 15 pack of beer. My boys had thought that I would probably forget sucha thing so both bought beer and cider. The fridge looked like a liquor storeand as it turned out not a great deal was consumed.

On the Saturday afterlunch the four “boys” went for a two-hour walk up Mount St John (listed as athree hour walk), which took us along side the lake, and then we wound up thehill to the observatory right on top. There is a café there and the girls droveup and met us there for coffee. We boys then walked down a shorter steep trackthrough some trees back to our car. The all around scenery was just so expansive and somehowrelaxing. You are amongst snow-capped mountains, which are really the foothillsof the Southern Alps. Lake Tekapois a bright blue colour because of small particles in the water from thesurrounding rock. It all leads to stunning scenery. On the drive there you go through flat green plains, rollinggreen hills and expansive brown hillsides and mountains. There are lots ofpretty places throughout the world and this would be one of them, especially sincethe sun was shining. It was tee shirts and shorts weather. After a sumptuousdinner we adjourned to the hot pools for a soak. There are pools at threedifferent temperatures. One has mini waterfalls cascading into it and ourfoster daughter just loved the feel of these on her back. (Pania is a suffererof Retts syndrome. She is very limited in what she can do, but when her eyessparkle and she is smiling she lights up the world) The weekend was well worthdoing.

We have driven through toChristchurch to catch up on my sister and my terminally ill brother-in-law whohas been in a lot of pain.

A beautiful muddling along day of doing things...

2011-10-26T14:09:00.000-07:00

Holiday day three - Blissfully distracted all day.
I have been muddling through the day. I went out to the garage to repair the roof of the verandah over the workshop. I went looking for something, which meant some corner needed tidying. Then I found something which needed repaired so I did that. Then my wife mentioned an electrical cord we had running to a freezer which has since been discarded. So I pulled the plug off the end and removed it. That led to sharpening screw drivers. That led to tidying the bench throwing out some rubbish, sorting out to containers, installing another shelf, repairing a candle stick holder, replacing a plug on another cord, throwing out a couple of broken tools (yes I sometimes throw things out) moving some wood from workshop to firewood bin, renewing the cord in the weed eater, doing some weed eating... etc. etc etc. ...and so it went on all day. I have had fun muddling through the day in and around the workshop and garden. The roof of the verandah is still not fixed but I did have an hour and a half walk up and down Mt Cargill. That's what I call a holiday day! In the photo you can see some bench surface. Two days ago you couldn't. :-)

Just thinking about ministry...
When I was at Theological College in Melbourne we had special guests one afternoon. They were full time Workplace Chaplains. The thing I remember about their presentation was that they were very critical of the Church. They even came across as being quite bitter. They ranted about its irrelevance, about the lack of support and its unwillingness to be involved with the community. Here we were a bunch of enthusiastic ministry students thinking we were God's gift to the Church but these chaplains really challenged our thinking. We were keen to "build the church" etc etc. but these guys were essentially saying "you are wasting your time"! Even then, because of my experience as a plumber frustrated with church life, I tended to agree with them, so I was not as horrified and defensive as my fellow students and lecturers. I just hoped that the Church would change during my time in ministry. Years later before I became a chaplain I was invited to be a part of a national ecumenical gathering of "people on the fringe of the Church's mission". Mostly the participants were chaplains of various sorts; military, hospital, workplace, school. Once again I found that the chaplains were very critical and impatient with the Church which they saw as becoming more and more irrelevant. I remember both times being impatient because the people who were pushing for real and relevant change seemed to opt out of the church, when the Church really needed people to hang in there and be change agents. (I have often thought this about liberal thinking ministers - contemporaries of mine, who started out as traveling companions but have long since jumped ship and left the church to be run by fundamentalists who though modern in style drag the church backward ) Today while happily muddling I got to thinking about my life and my job and remembering these people and the issues involved. Forty years after that first encounter there has been little change in the directions these guys would have wanted. (In fact I think the NZ churches were and are behind the Australian counterparts in terms of community involvement) I am a Church minister AND a workplace chaplain. It is an interesting mix and the same impatience resides in me. I am determined not to get bitter though. I have seen too many old and bitter ministers - I think many older ministers who have a liberal streak in them have ended up with a form of post-traumatic stress. The experience of hanging in, compromising your essence while trying to minister has caught up on them. I tend to think the issue is that the Church needs to really rethink the heart of the gospel. What is the essence of following Jesus? We need to explore how we can word that in today's language. This is a bigger job that just translating first century thought forms and metaphors. It involves encountering the culture of today and trying to find out how our culture, our world would express the essence of Jesus. Dare I say - "Son of God" "Saviour" "Redeemer" "Atonement" "heaven" "hell" "last days" are all first century concepts reflecting issues and the world view of that day. Jesus is relevant for today, but how do we communicate that relevance? But it is much bigger than just language and thought forms. I believe we need to be asking questions about the shape of the Church. Looking at the essence of Jesus, what shape should the Church take? We have continued to see the Church as "parishes" and being focused on the Sunday worship "show" and getting people to fit into the "Church culture". Maybe there are other shapes, alternative ways of community, ways of servanthood, and ways of relating to the community that more truly give expression to Jesus in today's world? It is not a matter of being more efficient in "Church Growth" but more a matter of being a true expression of Jesus. Only in my current ministry have I been able to make just small steps (toes dipping in water) toward a different shape for the church. It really has been impossible (I am not skillful enough) to truly communicate the issues to even the Church leadership. I am not bringing most of my congregation with me though they are allowing some changes to happen. The congregation does not have the resources to fulfill the dreams and I am running out of time, ability and energy. But at least I have hung in there and am trying. I have wondered. Someone once said, "It is easier to give birth than to resuscitate the dead." Maybe if all the people who have opted out continued to think and work on new models better options (because I think there are lots of models) would be around today and the real Church would not be so far behind the eight ball? Just the way my mind has wandered during while repairing, tidying and weed eating.

Sport, getting old and my day.

2011-10-24T01:35:00.000-07:00

NZ Sports people...
When I read the newspaper during breakfast this morning of course I could not miss the fact that NZ had won the Rugby World Cup. It was all over the paper, seemingly on every second page. But in browsing the paper I discovered a couple of other NZ sport success stories. Our cricket team in Zimbabwe chased down a reasonable Zimbabwe total in a 50over one day game. One of the batsmen scored a century, another scored 87. They have now secured the series. Our netball team, the Silver Ferns, beat the Australians by one goal in Perth. It is interesting, in a number of sports NZ does quite well. NZ triathletes do well at international races. Our rowing teams do well. Our yachting is a way up there with the best in the world. We are a small country of 4 million people. That is just a fraction of the number of people in many cities throughout the world. I think we can be proud of our sporting prowess, even if we are not the best in the world, we do well to be up there among the best. Just now the country has gone mad celebrating the Rugby World Cup victory. A street parade in Auckland, more coming in Wellington and Christchurch. After Pike River coal mine, earthquakes, recession news and now a shipping disaster, the Rugby World Cup feels like some good news at last. Still just a game though!

Getting Old
Yesterday I told you I took a service at Ross Home an elderly person's rest home. I confessed to not looking forward to doing these services. Here is my reason for this. I expose an in built weakness and perhaps fear. I have been going to Ross Home to take services about 3 times a year for well over 20 years. You go there and the congregation arrives in the chapel. Some come under their own steam, walk in and take a seat. Others come with "Zimmer Frames" assisting their walking. Still others come in wheel chairs, some with staff or family pushing, others with motorised ones. Others come in Lazy Boy/bed type things on wheels. Some are "with it", others seem to almost be "on the way out". The thing that gets me when I go there regularly is that you slowly see people dying. For example; There were two sisters in the rest home. Dignified well dressed ladies who would come regularly to church. They were good to converse with, positive and intelligent. After a while you visit and one looks a bit vacant, the other is in a wheel chair. Then another visit, and there is only one sister. Then one Sunday the remaining sister was in a Lazy boy / bed thingy and looking sad. The next time I visit she too may not be there. It is the reality of rest homes. People are, as the TV show title says, "Waiting for God". But I find it so hard watching these active lively people slowly getting more and more frail, then not being there. There was a couple I met four visits ago. They sat and told me their story. They were a joy to meet. The next time I visited she was alone. Now she is in a wheel chair looking sad. Perhaps I am not facing my own mortality? Perhaps I am not liking the prospect of getting older myself? But I sometimes find it sad watching these people in the tail end of life. I am impressed though, because so many of the people themselves are still positive and doing the best with what they have left. Anyway I confess to you my unease.

Monday.. the first day of my holiday week.
I am on holiday this whole week. I am mostly holidaying at home. Today, because of my busy weekend I slept in. ... nice. I got up and went out to the garage. The lights had not been working and I had checked the bulbs and the fuse. I got out my tester and discovered the switch was faulty. I dug in my old cardboard wine cask of hoarded second hand bits labelled "Electrical things". I found a switch that would fit, attached the wires, screwed it back in place and all is going.... satisfaction! Cup of coffee. Then I got out my weed eater and had a session on an area of long grass for a while. We had a little TV on a shelf in the kitchen, which looked very precarious. The shelf was too small for the TV, and the earthquakes in Christchurch made me realise I should secure it. I went out to the garage and found an old microwave shelf. I adapted this and installed it in a better place and in such a way that the TV is actually screwed to it. (The TV is there so that whoever is cooking - most often my wife - can watch the news while preparing food.) - again... satisfaction. I then replaced some old rusted brackets on the old shelf with new ones I inherited from somebody. Then, having tidied the workshop up, I went back to cutting long grass with the weed eater. A 6k jog finished my day. I love that the stuff I have "hoarded" means I can do things for nothing. ( My running friend even picked a bolt up off the road for me yesterday... she knew I probably would if I saw it... she usually just rolls her eyes when I stop to pick up handy things) I love problem solving and fixing things up. I enjoy the fact that I have gathered enough tools and machinery to easily do most jobs. And - I was pleased to be able to jog that distance. The first day of my week off was good.

My running friend is a very good photographer. ( http://daybydaybyjane.blogspot.com/ ) Upon reading my blog about "Death" as she walked through a nearby cemetery she took these photos and put them together.