Two women of compassion.

Example one.
We are on a four week trip to visit our son and family in Edinburgh, Scotland. On a thirteen hour flight sitting next to us was an elderly woman nearly in her eighties. She seemed to be still in good health and quite fit. We learned that she had been a nurse in an emergency ward for much of her working life. Of course on such a long flight the subject of coping with the flight comes up. My wife told her that our doctor had given us a sleeping pill we could take to help us sleep to make the flight easier. This elderly lady said that she had thought of that option and was indeed offered it, but she chose not to. She gave her reason. “I recognise that I have skills that could be helpful in an emergency on the plane. If I had a sleeping pill and something happened I would not be at my best.” When my wife told me of this conversation I was full of admiration. At nearly eighty, this woman still felt a responsibility to be there for others if it was necessary. - I thought it was a pretty cool attitude to have.
Second example.
We headed from Dunedin, NZ to Auckland in the early evening of a Monday. At about midnight we flew from Auckland to Singapore, about a ten hour flight. We arrived at about 7 a.m. local time. We were transported to our hotel, and after a bit of a rest we explored a bit of the city. Later in the evening we went to bed. We were wakened in the night by construction work carrying on during the night on the building opposite. (A massive mobile crane working) The next day we explored Singapore again, with an afternoon visit to the Gardens by the Bay. After tasting the local food for dinner, at 10 p.m. we travelled to the airport, waiting to catch a plane to London. Going through security my wife’s carry on luggage was held up. She was taken aside and little steel nail clippers were found. I was then led away for my luggage to be checked more thoroughly. Then the woman checking me asked, “Where is your wife.” “I don’t know!” I snapped at her, “That guy took her away!” We were reunited and the offending nail clippers confiscated. We comforted each other by saying, at least we should be happy they are keeping the plane safe.
We took off at around 2a.m. headed for London, arriving there at about 8 a.m. London time after 13 hours. We stopped for coffee at Heathrow airport, and really tired now, found the bus centre, and caught the appropriate bus for the one and a half hour trip to Stanstead Airport. It was crowded with heaps of people passing through and poor facilities for the numbers it was coping with. Finally we got through security and had to rush down a long walk way to find gate 84. People pushed passed us. I was getting cranky. At one stage a guy rushed past me shoving my shoulder and I found myself lifting my hand in annoyance, wanting to shove him back.... but I resisted... just. My wife, who gets easily short of breathe was puffing and red faced. We arrived in the que before they shut the gate. Jean wiped the sweat from her brow. I looked at her, she was completely exhausted, standing there puffing. But she was distracted. A young father looking after a baby and a young boy was just ahead, Jean was smiling at the boy. We went through the gate and waited yet again in a stairway leading to the tarmac and our plane. The young father was trying to strap his baby girl into a car seat, hold on to his luggage and keep his adventurous son close by. My wife seeing his predicament engaged the boy in friendly chatter, and smiled and chatted with the little girl. Then looking at the young father asked, “How are you going to manage? Will you need help? We could help?” “Whaaat?” I said under my breathe, “We are going to be struggling to get you up the steps to the plane!” The young man said he had it all worked out, but my wife continued to offer our help. “Just yell if you need us.” We got on the plane and I found myself helping the little boy find row 21. As I settled in my seat I could not help but admire my wife. 70 years old, exhausted after days travelling, with very little sleep, and physically drained, she was still filled with compassionate empathy for this young man and his children. I, on the other hand, was just focused on me and the crowds were just a nuisance. She is the real deal, compassionate when the going gets tough.

Funeral Instructions!

I have often said to my wife, "I want that song at my funeral!" or "I don't want that song!" or "I want this reading." In exasperation she said, "Well you better write it all down!" So tonight I did... an interesting experience. It will probably change if I keep living long enough and evolve, but at the moment here it is....

David Brown’s: Funeral Instructions- as at 20^th May 2018

Opening Reading: John 10:7-10

*Opening Hymn… Mission Praise 162 “From Heaven you came” (“Servant King”)

Other Readings: * Luke 10:25-37 (Good Samaritan) an essential one!

                              Luke 15:1-3, 11 – 24 (“Waiting Father” or Prodigal son)

*Hymn: NZ Praise K1 “Brother Sister let me serve you…”

(Other possible Hymns: - I’d like there to be lots of singing to communicate what was important to me. – and not so much talking.)

“Who is my mother” to tune… “Morning has broken…”

and “Be thou my vision”)

*Final Hymn: WOV 183 “I danced in the morning…” (Lord of the Dance)

*Benediction: (the last act in the service)  “Te Aroha” song… (All sing)

Te aroha                  (Love)
Te whakapono         (hope/faith)
Me te rangimarie (Peace)
Tatou tatou e           (to all)

Te aroha
Te whakapono
Me te rangimarie
Tatou tatou e

---------------

Other music: (Perhaps reflection time) Waylon Jennings “I do believe…” and also Sinead O'Conner "Make me a channel of your peace."

Going Out : Vince Gill “Go rest high upon that mountain” (In my case Mt Cargill)

I wish my ashes to be spread up near the top of Mt Cargill (over the bush)

Quote: “I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.” - Albert Schweitzer

Great gift.

The card with the gift of English money.

Two brand new Ambulances were dedicated. The "Official party" after the ceremony.

This week has involved two little extra things in my chaplaincy role. I am chaplain for St John Ambulance so a "Dedication ceremony" had been planned for Wednesday at 1:30p.m. Then I had news of the death of a retired fire fighter. He had died up in the North Island. They were having a service here in Dunedin, and the family sent a message to ask if I would read a "Fire Fighter's prayer" at the service. It was to be held at 3:00 p.m. There was a quarter of an hour travel between the two places. I saw the list of speakers at the ambulance dedication and spent Tuesday night worrying about what I would do if the two events clashed. My part was the last part of the first gathering. I was so relieved. All the speakers were short and to the point, so there was no need to panic. At both the St John Ambulance ceremony and the fire fighter's funeral, I felt warmly welcomed and an important part of the process. There were heaps of retired fire fighters to catch up with. But I came away feeling privileged to be part of both groups.
As chaplain to the fire fighters in Dunedin, I visit fire stations on two days a week, usually Tuesday and Friday afternoons. We are going to have a break for four weeks, and on Thursday I did some extra time to show my temporary replacement the fire stations and introduce her to some of the guys. We had visited three suburban stations and found nobody home. We then went to the central city station and found everybody there for a special training event. Of course we went up close to watch what they were doing. In due course it finished and the crews headed for their fire trucks to go home to their suburban stations. One man asked if I was visiting their station. I said that we had already dropped by there and we were not sure if we had time to go again. He motioned for me to come with him, as he strode off to the fire truck. He clambered in the back seat and emerged back out with an envelope, which he handed to me, saying "Have a great holiday! We appreciate you." It contained a card with the message on the front saying, "There's nothing better than a good friend, ....except a good friend with chocolate."
Inside this was a hand written note;
"Thank you for all you do for other people - we appreciate it.

Have a great holiday and we hope you have time to enjoy a meal on us.

... also you Jean, for all the work you do at the hospital,
travel safe ...."

(signed by the fire fighter and his wife)

Tucked into the card was a considerable gift of money! I was blown away. I have known this man for 24 years, we have often talked, often too we have been part of group conversations. He has never asked for my help on any specific issue, but has just been a friendly presence in my chaplaincy journey with the fire fighters.

Of course I did not open the card immediately but my replacement and I went for a cup of tea, and opened it and found the gift and message. She just said, "Wow that is something!"

I am indeed privileged.

Why the violence?

Violence.

New Zealand seems to be a very violent society these days.

• Domestic violence, including unbelievable abuse of children, seems to feature very often in our news. We have very high domestic violence statistics. Police report that so much of their time and resources are taken up responding to incidents in the home.
• Unprovoked street violence. I knew a man who was visiting Auckland down by the water front. He was just a tourist walking around with a friend. Without provocation some young men took to them, and he has ended up with an injury that will not get better. I talked to a father whose son was walking in the centre of Dunedin city and some drunken person came from behind jumping on his leg, breaking his leg. To an older generation person like me, it seems unbelievable. We could wander around city streets without a worry into the small hours of the morning. Unprovoked, spur of the moment angry violence seems on the increase.
• Violence around the night scene. Similar to this is that often areas where there are bars and night clubs can be dangerous areas, particularly when they are shutting down and people are moving off. Often too as groups of half cut people interact and travel from bar to bar, violence can happen.
• Party violence.  It feels like almost every weekend there will be some report/s of a party that has ended up with some sort of violent incident. It can be what was intended to be some happy family event that suddenly turns sour. Sometimes its a party of young people that has been gate crashed by unwelcome guests.  
•  School violence. There have been videos of school children fighting, sometimes after school or in the school ground. Videos are posted on social media. Bullying and kid-gangs picking on others seem to be increasing. They were around when I was a boy, but the violence seems to be up a grade or two, uninhibited, more persistent and more treacherous. 
• Violent robberies. Again it seems these are on the increase. Once working at night in a dairy store would not be a worry, but virtually weekly we are shown security footage of frenzied attacks on scared shop keepers by aggravated burglars seeking money, cigarettes or booze. 
• Violence toward paramedics! Often I am hearing about violence toward our ambulance officers. It seems unbelievable, but these people go to help the sick or injured and they are attacked. Sometimes it is by the patient themselves, and at other times it is by friends of the patient.  
• I know a man who is a nice bloke. He has been in prison, but in recent years has tried to go straight. I enjoyed his company and through the Night Shelter Trust had contributed to his transformation. He seemed to be sorting life out, and had found a caring partner. But he is now back in prison. What went wrong? There were two bad mistakes. He was out drinking with a couple of mates and came back to their lodgings with some supplies. An argument started and it ended up in physical fisticuffs and violence. Our man got treated pretty softly by the courts because it seemed he wasn't the instigator. But then he moved into another place with his partner, a caring lady about his age. Eventually, during a drinking episode an argument happened, as happens in most relationships and he beat his partner. This time there was no leniency.  Why did he do it? He is a nice guy, most often helpful and kind. He was getting his life back together and had support? When his inhibitions were low with alcohol, his default reaction to differences of opinion was toward violence.

I am always astounded by the level of violence and politicians, police, judges and social workers wring their hands wondering what can be done? New Zealand used to have safe streets. It still is a friendly place, but it seems to have lost the innocence it once had. What has gone wrong?

I thought of one thing the other night. My wife and I had a rare night when both of us could relax on a Saturday night watching TV to enjoy some entertainment. Now we have about 6 main channels we can watch, without going to religious preachers, sports or ethnic shows. We flicked through the channels and on every channel there was a film or show in which violence was a major theme! I got to thinking how common this theme is, even in children's cartoons, super heroes and other seemingly "wholesome" entertainment. I thought too of the various video games advertised or that I can access on my computer if I so desired. Almost all are violent ones where I shoot, or beat up the opposition. Is this a contributing factor to our violent society?

When the New Zealand cricket team was doing really badly a few years ago, people were looking for answers. The batsmen seemed to be losing their wickets by poor shot selection. They made unwise decisions about the balls they would attempt to hit and consequently gave away their wicket cheaply. One elder statesman of New Zealand cricket, who was a superb batsman in his time, had some good advice.  "When the batsmen are practicing in the nets," he said, "they need to practice leaving the ball." He went on to say that if in practice you try to hit every ball bowled, that will be your automatic reaction, your default option when you are playing the game.  "What you practice in your practice sessions will be how you play the game." "In the split second you have to respond when the ball is bowled at you, you will do what you have practiced. If it has been hitting every ball (as many do in the nets) that is what you will do. To have long disciplined innings, you need to practice leaving the ball." I got to thinking. If we spend hours in front of our TV's, video games and computers watching or playing with violence, what is likely to be our default option when relationships get stretched? I wonder whether our mind numbing, mind training menu of violent TV conditions us to respond with violence when the going gets tough? Maybe what we feed our minds on, comes out in our actions? I believe the quantity of violence based TV shows we dumbly sit in front of to be entertained, contributes to the rising rates of violence in our community. 

That is my rant for tonight.

The apostle Paul wrote: "Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise think about (stew on, cogitate on...) these things." Master batsman Glen Tuner said, "What you practice will be your default response."  - I say, feed your minds with the positive, constructive and compassionate perspectives. Do not feed them on violence.

Another contributing factor we don't want to talk about is the way we abuse alcohol. But that will be for another rant. 

Wedding Anniversary.

Today is our 49th Wedding anniversary. I shared that on Facebook and one of my nephews shared some photos that his dad (my wife's brother) took on the day of the wedding.
It is funny, the photos are taken with us standing in the street doorway of the St Andrew Street Church of Christ, Dunedin. I was still a senior plumbing apprentice, working out the hours you had to do before you were made a full certificated plumber. I had done all my exams. On that day, absolutely nobody would have anticipated that later I would have served a 27 year term as minister of that Church! My wife still says when I am grumpy about ministry sometimes, "I married a plumber!" Life takes many strange turns.

Our niece (flower girl) my youngest brother, my mother in law, me and my bride, my father in law and my mum.

The happy couple with Jean's parents, siblings, partners and children.