Back to basics

We have a foster daughter named Pania.  Pania came to our family when she was nine years old. She is now 40+.  Pania copes with very significant handicaps. She is a Rett Syndrome girl, unable to speak, uncoordinated and with severe difficulties, both with processing stuff and physical challenges. She is in care but we are her "managers" or guardians. She does various activities during the week, and one of them is painting - a sort of finger or hand painting onto old sheets or pillowcases. We spend time with her at our house at least once a month, and my wife spends time keeping an eye on her needs. This can involve taking her to various appointments, advocating for her care or comfort or just ensuring she has sufficient pocket money. 

Today we skipped Church. This was partly for our own mental health, but also we wanted to spend time with Pania. At 11 a.m. we went and picked her up at the house where she is cared for, and drove into the centre of Dunedin. The centre of Dunedin is an Octagon shaped area, which recently has been closed to vehicles. It is a place people can relax in. We wandered through watching games of basket ball (or a mini version of it) and people just enjoying the atmosphere.  There was a food truck, some music and lots of happy people.  Right near the Octagon was an art gallery where some of Pania's painting was on display. We went in there to have a look and then she and I relaxed on a seat nearby. 

From there, we picked up pizza and went to the Botanical gardens for a picnic lunch. Our daughter and husband walked from their place to spend time with us. We wandered around part of the gardens, looked at the aviary and then took her home, stopping for an ice cream. We dropped her at her house around 4 p.m. It was a hot beautiful sunny day. 

I loved - when my wife brought Pania down the drive of her house and she saw I was waiting in the car, she beamed all over. Her smile is beautiful.
I loved - when we sat together in the main street of town she reached over and held my hand. I sang gently to her and she gave me her sideways delighted look, grinning from ear to ear. 
I loved - sitting with her in front of the aviary looking at the birds, and again she reached for my hand as I talked to her about stuff about us.

Life can get busy. You can philosophise, theologise, argue, covet more money, read the news, opinion-ate, criticise, be criticised or whatever, but when you are walking hand in hand with a 40 year old woman, who cant speak, who has to concentrate to walk and stay upright, who has to wear nappies because she can't take herself to the toilet, but who still smiles, and giggles and soaks in your love and presence - life is GOOD.  It was a good day. Pania is special, and makes you appreciate life. Because she has so many difficulties, you find yourself pointing out things around that are of interest, and talking to her about them. It makes you notice life and appreciate life. 

She has been hard work, especially for my wife, but we never ever regret having her as part of our family. Without speaking, she has taught us so much about life.

Left to right; My wife, Pania and our daughter, in the Botanical gardens. Our daughter is great with Pania, she is a true caring older sister.

Me and Pania resting in the sun - chatting.

One of Pania's paintings - she chooses the colours and makes the pattern. One of Pania's carers sews her smaller ones on cloth bags - they look very colourful - these are sold. They also turn her paintings into cards at Christmas time.  Once when she was a teenager we put her clothing on the bed for her to choose what she wanted to wear. She touched each one as my wife dressed her. To our surprise it was all colour coordinated, and looked quite smart.