Jack died at 93

"Well done good and faithful servant."

I led a funeral for a man who has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. His name was Jack Botting, he was an Electrician and died at the age of 93 a week and a half ago. I led his wife's funeral 20 months ago. Sadly I led his daughter's funeral after her untimely death, in January of this year. He had always wanted me to take his funeral, and asked for me when he knew he was getting toward the end. I was relatively close to him, and where as I usually hold it together leading funerals of people I know, this time as I talked of him I started to choke up and had to apologise and "take a moment". I share some bits out of the funeral and eulogy I used at the funeral. In many ways he was so different than I am, but I owe him a lot. He modeled integrity, Christian generosity, hospitality and good humour.

"Jack has been like a close Uncle in my life. He was 10 years younger than my father, but a close friend of his. I think tradesmen are often drawn to each other because they value each other’s work and experiences in a way they are not valued in society at large. Jack and Dad were tradesmen in the same Church congregation and simply good mates. .They spent hours talking through life together, and Jack supported my dad and our family during some pretty tough times. Since then Jack has always been a supportive presence in my life.  So I need to say, I come as a mourner as well as the celebrant today. Since last Friday I have felt a sadness and deep loss happening in my life."

"...for me Jack’s faith was best seen in his generosity and love of others. His cheeky grin and wink warmed your heart. He was just so generous, accepting and friendly toward all types of people. Some body new to Church, Jack would be the one to initiate conversation. Through facilitating Sunday lunches in various restaurants and pubs, Jack would keep the NEV members together, and in time the Sunday lunch group grew to include others. Jack with other men looked after the kitchen for monthly women’s dinners. He often provided vegetable soup for the Friday night drop in centre. At Christmas time some precious new potatoes from his garden would be on the menu for our Community Christmas dinners. He helped transport to and from the Christmas dinner and at times took meals to people unable to come.

Jack loved his vege garden and was a good gardener, generous with his vegetables.

Jack with Roy Martin were inventors and explored various projects together. There were draught stops for doors, little flow restrictors that go in by ball valves in plumbing installations and of course the pumps which he continued to explore and develop.

Jack loved his family. He loved Florence. His nickname for her was often “Pet”… “Do you want a cup of tea Pet?” He was proud of her for her work with the elderly, her energy and intellect. He loved Paula and Anne and their families. He often said, “We are so lucky, the girls keep an eye on us. They are so good.” You could see in his eyes love and pride whenever he talked of his family, and as he got older he so appreciated their support. This has been so true over these last few years.

Pictures of Jack…

1.   Coming home from school when I was about 8 and finding Jack wiring in a flash new electric range. Mum had very inadequate cooking facilities, and Jack had decided to gift this to our family. Mum was in tears of appreciation.

2.   My father had a Bradford plumbers van. The motor blew up. Jack financed dad into a new van which dad could pay off as and when he was able.

3.   When my father died in 1964, kids were excluded from funeral preparation discussions. On that day Jack took us boys to the cricket at Carisbrook, fed us on icecreams and pies. If one of us began to tear up, he would just move beside us and put his arm around us.

4.   After Dad died, mum had five kids to keep and raise. Jack would often just turn up every now and then with veges, have a cup of tea, and check how things were going. He would ask us kids about school and sport.

5.   When I was in ministry at St Andrew Street Jack so often expressed his support in a simple, yet effective way. During the first hymn, when I would be nervously standing there, our eyes would lock, he would simply grin and wink. When he was serving at the communion table, as he returned the trays, he would often give a quick wink. After Church, when I would be emotionally drained, he would place his hand on my shoulder as he passed by, and simply say, “you’re doin’ so good, I’m proud of you.” and rush out the door with a wave and a wink.

6.   About ten years ago I had a van which had a motor that blew up. History repeated itself. I had a phone call from Jack. “You do so much good with your van, if you don’t tell anyone about it, I can give you $3000 toward a new van.” I turned him down, but I so appreciated the generosity and support expressed.

I’ll stop there for now and let others speak. On Monday while Anne took a brief break, I sat by Jack’s bed holding his hand, while he struggled to breathe, and memories flooded my mind. My heart was so full of appreciation for all this cheeky smiling man has brought into my life."

Need to change the heading.

I needed to change the heading of my blog. The heading referred to "an over 60 year old...", but that "over 60 year old" is now an over 70 year old. I have just had my "three score and ten" birthday, which is quite a landmark. Unintentionally I have been celebrating my birthday for about a week. It was on a Thursday and my wife presented me with a few personal presents such as a coat, a book and a wallet.  On that day we travelled 3 hours north of Dunedin and stayed the night in a "boutique apartment" with a spa bath and four poster bed. The next day we headed north again to the resort town of Hanmer Springs. My New Zealand based children had rented two houses next to one another and our daughter and son-in-law from Dunedin went up; our son and his family from Christchurch travelled about an hour and a half to Hanmer; and our son and family from Wellington caught the ferry across Cook Strait, and traveled a few hours south to Hanmer. There were twelve of us, including four active grandchildren. (We missed our son and family in Edinburgh) We stayed Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday night enjoying the scenery, forest walks and hot springs of Hanmer. It was a special family time. On the Monday we all went in various directions to our homes again. My wife and I drove the nearly 500k back to our house in Dunedin on the Monday.
I was aware that my older brother and his wife, who live in Australia, were traveling through NZ and were planning to be paying a quick visit to Dunedin during the week. With phone calls backwards and forwards, my youngest brother and his wife invited us to join them, and my older brother, for an evening at their new house about three quarters of an hour north of Dunedin. On the Tuesday evening we drove North again to go to this "pot luck" meal. When I got there I found that my sister and her partner had traveled about four hours from Christchurch, and another brother and his wife had traveled two hours to be there. All of my siblings in one place to celebrate my seventieth birthday! It is very seldom we can all be together. We had a great night of memories, laughter and generally catching up.
At the meal we got to talking about "my" Mount Cargill, a hill that overlooks Dunedin. We shared memories, and my older brother said something like, "Of course you will not be walking up it these days, Dave." It was a statement, not a question. I felt stunned, and was going to object, but remembered that because of injury, sickness, busyness and perhaps laziness, it had been a long time since I had climbed my mountain. While I have had more than my share of various sicknesses lately, and still have artificial plumbing in place, it never occurred to me that my climbing days would be over. At 4 p.m. on the Wednesday I climbed my mountain. I saw it as a fitting end to my week long birthday celebrations. I loved doing it, and in spite of my lack of practice, I climbed it easily, perhaps only 3 minutes longer than my average time. My birthday celebrations were not over. We run a games night at the local Church on Friday night and a young 6 year old and her little brother came up to me. They both had made Birthday cards for me and presented me with a cake of chocolate.
Reflection on turning 70.
I had started writing this post in Hanmer, and it was going to be a reflection on "Have I wasted my life by investing it in the Church?" It was likely to be a bit of a negative perspective. That may come, but while walking my mountain I decided to change it. At 70 years of age I am simply thankful.
I am thankful for my parents and the people around me as I grew up. I had people who were good role models and built a good foundation for my life. Looking back as an adult, each of them were flawed and if I sat with them now, I perhaps would want to argue with them on some of their perspectives. But they essentially loved me and guided me, to enable me to be equipped to handle life.
I am thankful for the various experiences I had growing up. I had experiences of living in a full house, with four siblings and often a boarder or two thrown in. I had experiences of farm life during holidays. We often took part in DIY projects around the house. I enjoyed being a plumbing apprentice and learning a trade. Working on cars as a teenager was an incredible problem-solving learning experience. Being part of youth groups and taking leadership roles. Even the bad experiences, I am thankful for. We were a relatively poor family and had to learn to "make-do" and enjoy life without access to lots of material pleasures. My father died when I was a young teenager. It was a traumatic experience, but looking back, an incredibly maturing, growing time in my life.
I am thankful for my theological training, the colleagues I came to know, the teachers and the challenges involved. I am thankful for the experience of living in another country, learning to appreciate it, but growing in my appreciation of my home country also.
I am thankful for my wife and family, and the journey so far. There have certainly been challenges, but also there have been lots of achievements. We have had a good partnership and journey together. I have enjoyed being part of groups - the drop-in centre we ran, Habitat for Humanity, the Night Shelter group. I have enjoyed nearly 25 years of workplace chaplaincy, enjoying fire fighters, paramedics and brewery workers.
I have enjoyed heaps of personal growth, changing perspective and deepening understandings. I find that even at my age, I still feel young and appreciate the adventure of growing as a person, looking at new perspectives and trying new things.
As people say, "long story short" - my 70 years have been pretty enriching, fulfilling and worthwhile living and for that I am deeply, deeply thankful. If you have been part of that..... THANKYOU.

Snow capped mountains encircle Hanmer Springs.

We drove up the centre of the South Island, the scenery is beautiful. 

Our youngest grandchild enjoys clambering on a statue of a dog, shaped out of a tree stump.
We enjoyed two bush walks with the grandchildren.

"Nan" (my wife) joins her to discuss the dog. 

Our second bush walk - NZ is a beautiful country.

Family members meandering through the parklands.

My son and three grandchildren explore a creek.

The five Brown kids and their partners. The men on the left and head of the table are the four brothers. The lady at the front on the right is our sister.

I love the bush on "my" Mount Cargill.

The cairn on top of my mountain 

Some parts are rather steep, but I am pleased to be able to walk them.

My second birthday cake.