Week's end worblings

Treadmill tremors.

I was chatting with a friend early in the week reflecting on my year to date. I came up with a description of how it has felt. I recall watching a guy on a treadmill at the gym. He was running quite fast and a friend of his came past chatting with him. "Sorry can't slow down." the red faced runner said, "I'll get spat out the back!" (This happens if you pause or stop on a treadmill) The friend chatted for a while then just as he left he reached over and tapped his finger several times on the (+) plus button, making the machine speed up, then rushed out the door saying a cheeky "Goodbye". His mate of course had to speed up his running. That's a bit like what this year has felt like for me. Running like hell just to keep up and somebody keeps sneaking their finger on the speed up button. As I think about it there have been a series of hiccups (van written off, car breakdowns, sore back, friend's suicide, sad funerals) an additional tough chaplaincy and a number of successes (Son's wedding, Space2B popularity, Sustainable Dunedin youth worker based at the church, Extra community use of the church etc.) which have all contributed to this feel. There never seems to be enough hours in each week. Perhaps too I am getting older and cannot hack the pace like I once used to. There are heaps of sleepless nights along the way.

What to do with them?

ASCO (An advisory and support day-time drop-in centre for unemployed people) has lost its funding and is to close. We have had people dropping in to Space2B saying "Is this where ASCO is to be relocated?" I had a social worker from ASCO visit our drop-in to scope out what we had to offer and was invited to a meeting about possible alternatives at the local Member of Parliament's office. Some seem to be thinking we could help fill the loss, and of course having a bit of a messiah complex I could see some possibilities. I still look at our drop-in folks and ache for their predicament. Young people, even children who seem to have a snow-balls chance in hell of making a go out of life. Mental health patients struggling to cope. Older people wasting life on alcohol and idleness. There are no jobs for such as these.

I oscillate with my feelings towards the folks from ASCO and from our Drop-in. Sometimes I feel like our education system and economic system has spat these poor people out the back of our society and dumped them on the rubbish heap of life. I get angry at an uncaring society. - At other times I am angry at the people. Why can't they make better choices? They could stop smoking - gambling - drinking? They could gainfully use their time? There are bush tracks I would love to have the time to walk. There are vegetable gardens they could tend. They could suss out their own firewood. etc etc. If only they got off their bums and tried!? What is the answer? Support alongside encouragement and challenge some how? Do we challenge the systems and seek a better deal? I think there are no easy answers. Because there are no easy answers most people do not get involved. ... but that is wrong also.

Privileged

This week I spent a lot of time talking with people. I loved learning from a pleasant Hungarian lady about life under a communist regime. She spent her childhood and early teens in a communistHungary and experienced the transition to a democracy as she grew to adulthood. It was intensely interesting stuff. I walked in on the printing press just as they were setting up to print a paper. This man explained the process as he put the plates on the rollers. Then I watched as the presses cranked up and gradually the paper came out the other end. I talked to a lady trying to edit and trim an article by several hundred words and her view of the process. A coast guard volunteer explained to me how they went about searching for someone at sea. A dad told of his experiences bringing up his daughter and his hopes for her. ...and I could go on... but as busy as it is on the treadmill, I am often touched by the incredible privilege I have to be let into people's lives, experiences and wisdom.

Physical fitness

I have been troubled by a bad back. This week I have got back into training for the September half marathon. I walked 3 hours on Sunday in the hills. I ran 9 kilometres on Tuesday and on Thursday. On Saturday a 5k run around a reservoir was enjoyed. Today I ran 12 kilometres chatting with my friend. It is nice to be back into it. At my age it is great to still be able to get a high from exercise.

More "flesh" musings.

I need to be fair to St Paul. I have often thought that Paul stuffed Christianity up. As he wrote his epistles often they seem to be rife with doctrine, rules and systems. But I now tend to think that it is our interpretations of Paul that have distorted the free flowing way of Jesus. What Paul did was use the language, idioms and metaphors of his culture and day to try to communicate the essence of what he experienced in Jesus. We have taken those "picture words", retained them and made them hard and fast "doctrine" and in so doing distorted Paul. Our task in reading Paul is to seek to understand the essence of his experience, to get behind his metaphors then transfer that experience into metaphors that suit our culture and age. So I am attempting to do that with "flesh" as he uses it in Galatians 5.

I argued in my previous post that in spite of what Paul seems to imply, "flesh" is not inherently evil. J B Philips translates "flesh" as "our lower nature". As I look at Paul's description of the "works of the flesh" I think that what he calls flesh is the "if-it-feels-good, do-it" attitude. This would apply to what he sees as sexual immorality. This would also apply to "party spirit" "envy" "dissension" etc. It is the attitude that is self-focused and does not think of the consequences long term for ourselves, other people, society or creation. It is therefore important to listen to what Paul has to say. I see this attitude so often. I will take revenge, pay back evil for evil, because it feels good. I will charge up private expenses on a government credit card because it feels good and I may get away with it. (like our politicians) I will drink too much, add incredible amounts to our national health bill, cause damage to my relationships, maybe even hurt others because at the moment "it feels good". I will endanger lives, cause havoc on streets with my boy racer car, because "it feels good". I will accept a ridiculously high salary even though I know there are many unemployed and it is essentially unfair inequality, because "it feels good". This "if it feels good, do it" attitude is rife in today's society and, I believe, is identical to the way Paul uses the term "Flesh" in Galatians 5.

Paul's anti-dote is two fold. He reminds them of the old command, "you shall love your neighbour as yourself" and calls us to commit to that. Secondly he says to be guided by "the Spirit", allowing things like "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control" to grow in our personalities.

Here is where I go back to the follower of Jesus being more aware. The follower of Jesus is committed to the golden rule and in their inner being is always measuring his/her actions according to this wider awareness. What are my actions doing to others? When this sort of self analyses is allowed room, the fruit of the Spirit grow. The mysterious movement, the Great Spirit, the inner voice (God) that is part of this world, is given room in our lives to grow better, more whole, more wholesome functioning human beings. All I can say is that it works! I have seen changes in people, and sometimes even in me.

Looking at what ails our families, our countries and our world, we need this sort of change. Legislation, politics and education wont do it. Some sort of inner commitment to a better way of life on the part of individuals will. It really is a deeper, "spiritual" issue, and as archaic and out of touch as the church often is, it still is the place where I can raise a flag in the midst of our world and say, "There is a 'spiritual' dimension to life and 'spiritual' issues to attend to."

I found this quote when tidying up my office today. I loved the film called "The War". This returned soldier had been deeply shaken by his war experience and was struggling to fit back into family life is talking with his son. The son had got into a fight with kids from another family who were picking on him. The father broke up the fight then later gave one of the kids some candy floss when they yelled abuse at them. The son demanded to know why he did it? They were nasty people..... Why give them candy floss? As part of the answer the dad said this.... "I think the only thing that keeps people truly safe and happy is love. I think... I think that's where men get their courage, that's where countries get their strength, and that's where God grants us her miracles. And in the absence of love Stuart, there is nothing, nothing in this world worth fighting for."

The old song said, "What the world needs now is love." I guess that's why I do the job I am in, in spite of our secular age and the many distorted forms of religion, I still think the way of the golden rule, (the way of Jesus) makes sense.

Does Christianity like "flesh"or "human nature"?

One of the scripture passages set for today's worship was from Galatians chapter 5. In the RSV it reads "do not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh: ...." The Good News Bible changes it from "flesh" to "human nature". It goes on to list off "the works of the flesh". There are all the juicy ones: "immorality, impurity, licentiousness, drunkenness and carousing." (I recall a similar list from the book of Romans being read dramatically by an earnest Christian man at a Youth Club we had running at a Church in Australia. All these little adolescent boys were wide eyed and interested. Instead of putting them off these juicy sins, I think the reader was just feeding their curiosity.) Then there are also more run of the mill ones: "idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, party spirit, envy" . You get the picture that "Flesh" is bad... naughty.... Something mysterious, not of this world, "heavenly" called "Spirit" is good.

The same sort of emphasis comes across in many songs. Let me quote two choruses. One chorus goes like this: "Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in his wonderful face

And the things of earth will grow

will grow strangely dim

In the light of his glory and grace."

Its a nice opening meditation type chorus but the implication is that there is something inherently wrong with "the things of earth". Is there?

Another chorus goes like this:

"Jesus take me as I am

I can come no other way

Take me deeper into you

Make my flesh life melt away.

Make me like a precious stone

Crystal clear and finely honed

Life of Jesus shining through

Giving Glory back to you"

Again "flesh" gets bad press by implication in this song. There are countless hymns I could quote also.

Now I have a problem with this. I happen to like "Flesh". I think that to promote the concept that human nature or flesh is evil is to give people an inferiority complex, cause them to be sexually inhibited, or to have them perpetually guilty. I like J B Phillip's translation of "Flesh". He calls it our "lower nature". I tend to think the correct description would be something like "our nature when it is self centred". It is selfish living that he is talking about, and that is a distortion of human nature.

I like "flesh" and "human nature". In the myths of Genesis God created human beings (flesh) and looked at them and decided his creation was "Good". I enjoy sensuality. Now I hasten to add that the term "sensuality" has a much wider meaning than just the erotic. I have over the last two days gone for two walks up in the bush or hills around Dunedin. They were sensual. I loved the sights. There were little wax eyes on top of Swampy summit. I enjoyed their noise and their antics. I loved walking in the fog and having landmarks appear out of the fog. I enjoyed the physical challenge of getting up the hills without stopping.... the heavy breathing... the need to keep pushing my legs to work. I loved the sweat, the wetness of the drizzle, the joy of getting back to the vehicle before night fall, the brief conversations with other walkers and runners. I LOVED the FLESH! I love food. The taste of leeks, carrots and potatoes I have grown in my garden. I enjoy Ginger Wine, and Horlics and beautifully brewed coffee. Yes and even at my age I still enjoy an active sex life. When I have music on and I am alone, I love dancing around singing at the top of my voice. I enjoy the movement, the emotion the self expression. All of these things are "Flesh" and they are NOT inherently sinful! I think translations, teaching and compositions that imply that Christianity is "anti-flesh" are heresy and very damaging to people's lives. I know of a number of religious people whose lives have been stuffed up by such teaching. I have talked with earnest mental health patients who go to churches and hear such rubbish and come to me with such guilt and anxiety that they really don't need added to their difficulties.

I actually think that true spirituality, true openness to Jesus leads to a deeper awareness and appreciation of flesh. Because of the sense of connection you are in a very special way joined to all flesh. Like Francis of Assisi, people, animals, plants and trees are your brothers and sisters. The sensations we can enjoy in life are gifts of Grace... precious gifts we can savour. Because of my faith I believe I experience "the flesh" in a richer and fuller way. I also believe that Spirituality is not an escape from "Human Nature" but rather the ideal follower of Jesus is more fully human and more fully alive. They relate positively and harmoniously with creation, with others and with themselves. The whole point of Jesus based spirituality is the wholeness of the human being, "life abundant" is what Jesus called it in John's Gospel. The Jewish word "Shalom" is not about some after life, but things in their right place, in harmony here on earth.

Anyway... Flesh is OK and I am going to keep on enjoying the things of this world, I hope not in a selfish way, but in the way God intended.

Photos: Mt Cargill track on Saturday and Swampy Summit today (It is not snowing, its a black and white photo)

Friday feelings

Tired but pleased...

It is Friday afternoon and I have just taken a funeral and am getting changed to help out at our Drop-in centre. I am so pleased that the funeral (memorial service) went well. I put a lot of work into each one. I would imagine at least 8 hours, perhaps more. (My wife says at least 12 hours) The family were very pleased with it and it felt like I was doing something important for them. I am exhausted though with the beginnings of a migraine headache starting. I do seem to have an ability to help people remember the essence of the person. Looking back on when I first started at this church this man was not much older than what I am now! Time will pass quickly and I'll be ashes in a little box ready to be spread on Mount Cargill.

Technology...

I have been sitting here Skyping (messages) with a friend who drove to the city of Christchurch. While I have been doing that the Church computer has been updating and installing updates. It asked for a password at one stage. My daughter knows the password but she is in Frankfurt airport on the other side of the world. I pick up my old cell phone and text her. Within a few seconds the answer comes back with the password and the fact that they are about to hop on a train. Call me old, but I love this modern technology and still find it a marvellous part of life! Chatting via Skype free to a friend sitting in a Christchurch hotel through a little machine on my desk! That is pretty good.... but texting through an even smaller machine to the other side of the world and receiving instant replies.... Wow! I still marvel. A man told me yesterday that when his daughter was on her big OE in Africa 30 years ago they did not hear from her for 3 months!

Drop-in centre here I come...

Headache, headache go away ... people will tell me I have pool to play... People will meet me with a lot to say... I can't tell them to go away! Drop-in people, please be nice to me tonight. I am tired.

"Yeah right ??? Mr preacher."

I hate trying to cause people to grow in discipleship! Especially trying to do it via the expected form. I am expected to take a Bible passage and expound it in such a way that people will be entertained and helped by it. I am doing some preparation for Sunday's "sermon". The passages outlined in the readings set by the Revised Common Lectionary are very challenging. In Galatians Paul says "Live by the Spirit, I say, and do not gratify the desires of the flesh." Which sounds scary. What it means is don't live a self-centred lifestyle, but live one guided by the purposes and partnership of God. The Gospel reading for the day is even more challenging... in it Jesus challenges people who say they will follow him, but want first to "bury my father" or "say farewell to those at home". He says, "No one who puts a hand to the plough and looks back is fit for the Kingdom of God."

Now these are challenging texts. I can produce a good entertaining and challenging sermon on them but also I can already see my congregations' eyes glazing over. In their heart of hearts they are saying.... "Yeah right preacher. That's OK for you, but we have a living to earn and a family to look after... if we have some time, energy and resources left over we'll think about God's purposes. But first we have to live." I think, you see, that the way of discipleship only comes to life when you risk, and when you give it your all. When you go out of your comfort zone, then passages like this make sense. Most church people, however, will be nice, good living and religious people, but never make "the way" a central focus in their living. Because they will never be led by "the Spirit" or make "the Kingdom" their focus, they never get that sense of connection, integrated wholeness and partnership available to them. ... in fact my guess is that my readers' eyes have already glazed over.

The way Jesus grew people was to say first... "Come with me". ... and he went about doing good. Somehow in the doing they discovered the truth, then in words they tried to explain the truth they discovered. They used words like, "salvation" "deliverance" "freedom" "eternal life" and "Kingdom of God" for that experience that comes from participating in receiving and sharing God's love. In my experience that method is still the best.

Its like the difference between paddling in the shallows and diving into the water. The first is nice, you get a little feel for the water. But by diving in(a scary process to start with) you get the full feeling of freedom, of twisting and turning, of being swept along, of being enveloped and supported. But it is so hard to convince the paddlers that diving in is worth the effort.

Just at the moment, as I read commentaries and try to fathom what on earth I am going to say and how to lead in worship, I wish I was back plumbing! Pipes were easy to bend!

Reflections from my stool...

My sore back makes me sit on a high stool while typing this. It is getting better... it is getting better.... I hope. I am off to see a physiotherapist tomorrow.

Lust is popular....

I have linked this blog to "MyBlogLog" which gives me an idea of what people read on my blog site. It is interesting that the post that discusses "lust" is the most read of all the posts I have put on. People must google "lust" so often and one of the options is my post. I really am not sure that "God" gets as hung up about our "perving", fantasy life and bodily functions as we think he does. Using and abusing people is another thing.

Another of the older generation gone...

There was quite a group of teenagers who attended Church of Christ Youth groups in Dunedin when I was a teenager. The movers and shakers in the Churches were our parents. We looked up to them and recognised their commitment. When I was an apprentice plumber I would never have guessed that I would be taking many of their funerals. I had a phone call from a lady in Christchurch. She was part of the youth group at the church I am at now when I was a teenager. We all went to camps and various youth events together. Her Dad was a deacon in the church here. He and his wife were in the church here when I started ministry. His wife died and a few years later he left to live in Christchurch near his children. Well today he died and I have been asked to lead a memorial service on Friday for him. He was in his nineties. For me it is another reminder of the passing of time. The older generation is nearly all gone. It is the way of life. The scary bit is that I am now even more definitely the "older generation". To be quite crude, I am part of the next group of people who will "fall off the perch". My mind is already in gear thinking of how I will word a tribute to Noel, and how we will remember his life. What will some poor celebrant find to say about my life when my turn comes?

Appreciate what you have got.

I have a sore back. I never get sore backs.... well hardly ever. I lift heavy things, move furniture and dig for hours enjoying a trouble free back most of the time. I am bulletproof. Other people are weaklings with sore backs! But every now and then when I lift even the lightest thing at the wrong angle my back, down near my tail bone, "goes out".

When I was among plumbing apprentices we used to often give each other a hard time just as we finished putting the tools away. We would chase, fight and wrestle one another often with few holds barred. They were quite full on battles. I once ducked a piece of four-by-two thrown at me which very narrowly miss my head. I pushed one guy through a wall! (We never told the carpenter how his wall fell down.) We really pushed the boundaries of safety, all in good fun. It was in one of these tussles on a big building site one day I was on top of a guy wrestling on the concrete floor. The end of day whistle blew so I sprang off him and ran for door and the stairway down to the ground floor. He chased me and just as I went down the first step his steel capped boot hit my tail bone. Ever since then, just every now and then my back "goes out" at that spot. Every time it happens I curse Robin Greer's steel capped boot.

On Wednesday I went to lift a light portable amplifier at the church and my back went out. I went for a jog at night and felt that it loosened it up and was confident that in a day or so it would come right. It was still there, but OK on Thursday morning, but as I bent to thread my leg through my underpants it "went out" again in a big way. I could not put weight on my legs without excruciating pain. I kept saying "It will be OK when I get moving" but discovered I could not really walk down the hall. This is the worst it has ever been. My wife finally convinced me that I had no choice but to take a sick day. The only relief happens after I go out to the workshop and grasping the roof trusses, hang from them and stretch my body out. On Friday I went to work but struggled. (Running and climbing up into a fire truck was "interesting" as was climbing out of it!) I also went to the Doctors. He has given me pain relief medication which is helping. It is getting better. I sat on my stationary bike and started to peddle this morning, but the seat broke and I landed on my tailbone on the floor. My first thought was, "Well that's going to help isn't it?"

It is a great learning curve for me. I have a tendency to get impatient with people with sicknesses and hurts. My approach has been essentially "get over it" and "get on with it". Such an attitude has worked for me most of the time. I was once diagnosed with "post viral fatigue syndrome" and with a doctor friend's help I started exercising my way out of it. But I have to remember there are somethings you can't work through or carry on in spite of. I recall having a bad dose of glandular fever and try as I might, I was useless, as weak as a new born lamb. On Thursday morning I was useless, I could not walk! So my sore back is teaching me to be more understanding. It is getting better, I think. My Doctor said, "I am not going to prescribe days off work, because I know you will ignore it anyway! ... but if it hasn't improved by Monday you come back here and I will tell you how many days you MUST have off!" The other thing that happens is that it knocks your confidence. Standing up from sitting in a chair was painful. But even as it gets better, you still stand carefully and reluctantly because you expect the pain. I am now scared to lift the smallest thing. People's confidence is knocked by illness or injury and this is true of physical and emotional injury. You just don't want to be hurt again, so you hold back.

If you have your health, appreciate it while you have it. There may be a time when you don't and lots don't have it at all.

"Tell me what love is?"

We have this guy who comes to our drop-in who has been deaf most of his life. Just lately he has hearing aids that enable him to hear. He speaks like a deaf person. Last year he was stabbed by his girlfriend/partner during a drinking binge they were having. She is in prison for it and they oscillate between wanting to be together after she gets out or not having anything to do with each other. I think if I was him (he's been stabbed twice) I would do the later, but its not my decision. I was talking to him and he was telling me of this on-again off-again relationship and wondering what he should do. We finished our conversation and he went his way. After a short time he came back. "You talk to me!" he said emphatically with hand gestures emphasising the point. He went over to a more private place and set two chairs facing one another. He pointed in a demanding fashion to one of them and said, "Sit - you talk to me!" I sat and he leaned forward. "You are married. You are a minister. You tell me what love is! I don't know. My mum and my dad never told me, never showed me. You tell me what love is. I want to know! Rose (his girlfriend) wants to know. You tell me! I write to her on Tuesday." So I set to to tell him. My wife handed me a pen and sheet of paper and said, "Write it down for him!" then she added, "This could be interesting?" She did leave us alone though.

If you have someone who tells you and shows you what love is (or has told you or shown you) appreciate them and the relationship. There are those who have never and will never experienced it.