Creating Community

We at church link with Dr Maureen Howard who uses our facilities to run Sustainability courses. We see her work as part of the total life-enhancing stuff we want our Space2B and Church buildings to be used for. She is a lively Irish lady who has a great sense of humour along with an intellect that allows her to know her stuff well and communicate creatively with depth and passion. I have seen her facilitating various groups and you cannot help but enjoy her take on life. Today I was talking to her as people were arriving for her class. There was warmth in their greetings and obvious pleasure at being together again. As I went back to the office I thought "Maureen is not just sharing knowledge, she is creating 'community' ". Indeed I believe this is done intentionally. She wants to create a supportive group feel about the whole issue of sustainable living, and she does it well.

"Community" is a word that was thrown around a lot a few decades ago. Small groups were in. We talked group dynamics, roles within a group and learned all sorts of techniques. I believe it is an important part of life. I think if through our activities we can aid the development of "community" we are contributing something important in our society. It is difficult to define what is meant by "creating community". I guess it is creating a "space" where people can find acceptance, support one another, affirm one another and help each other's personal growth. These can be like minded people with a common interest, (e.g. sustainability) but need not be.

One example of community is what is happening in Christchurch after the earthquakes there. I was talking to one man who went up and down his street inviting neighbours to an evening meal. They shared a meal and checked on each other's need. Just last Monday after the earthquakes happened there my son and his partner arrived home and saw their neighbour, an older woman sitting on her front steps distressed. They went and sat with her. Invited her to their place and shared food and wine together. They were creating community in the midst of difficult situations. It is not just gathering people together, it is getting them to relate openly and in a caring, helpful way to one another.

In Christchurch some months ago I went door knocking with the Salvation army to check on needs. We discovered that there were many isolated people living side by side. We were there because of the earthquake, but often they told stories to us about hurts and burdens they were carrying for years. One elderly man didn't seem too pleased to have us fronting up at first, he did not want any counsellor, he was doing OK. But as we talked he gradually told us so much of his life as tears rolled down his face. There were hurts and heartaches. There were experiences of sickness and disappointment. He told of two bereavements and of his fears for the future. He was seated on a box and I knelt down in front of him till my joints ached, listening. I suspect he had not had anybody really listen to him for years! At another place when it came time to go a lady physically held on to us. It wasn't just the earthquake, she was just so lonely and isolated long before the earthquake hit. Now she had someone to talk to. I recall a film where one elderly lady asked to be called by her real name. She said, "Everybody has called me "mum", or "grandma", or "Auntie" or Mrs Smith for years, nobody has called me Maude! That's who I am, 'Maude' !" We need ongoing contact with people where we are valued as an individual and where we can value others. I was once on a committee which had real difficulty functioning. We were to have a Saturday morning meeting to deal with some curly issues. I had been frustrated with this group for long enough so before I went I filled a big thermos full of hot water, grabbed tea bags, coffee, milk, and some biscuits and put it all in a box. When people gathered for the meeting, in spite of the chairman's impatience I announced, "It's a cold morning, who wants a cup of tea before we start." Everyone wanted it. As they drank they talked not as committee members but as humans. When the poor chairman started the meeting we talked so much more openly, respectfully and creatively. Community began to happen. We treated each other as human beings.

This is what we try to do with Space2B, with our drop-in centre, our walking group and with our church - create a space where people meet each other as human beings. I believe it is a vital contribution to make. This morning when I was talking to Maureen one lady came into the room. Maureen introduced me to her. "Dave this is Phillipa ........, she is editor of the NZ Organic magazine, (pause) but she is a human being too". Then she turned to Phillipa, "This is Dave, he's the minister of the Church here, but he too is a human being." ..... It was a reminder that whatever roles we have, we are first and foremost human beings who need people to treat us as human beings. That is what "community" does for us.

Photo: Dr Maureen

A lazy day.

I have had my Monday off. I slept in! That was so good. I took a car in to the garage to be repaired. After a tasty lunch I fiddled around on another vehicle and took it for a test run on some country roads. Then I just mucked around in my workshop. I fixed up a tow rope. I repaired and soldered up some jump leads. I fixed my battery charger and found a new and better container for it. I threw out some rubbish. I sharpened some tools. I sorted things, tidied things, fixed things and generally just had a nice day among my "men things" in my messy workshop. (It was funny. I knew I had a bigger electric soldering iron than the one I was using, but I could not remember where I had stored it. I looked and looked. I finished the job with the small one and then almost immediately spotted the big one stored in a place that was quite visible, accessible and in front of my face all along! As soon as I saw it I said, "Of course, I remember, I knew it was there!" Blind as a bat!) A blissful day. I could do with another one like it tomorrow! Tonight I have answered some work emails, written up the Church blog and kept in touch with today's Christchurch earthquake events.

I have another busy week ahead. I have all the usual stuff but two extra meetings. I have an Inner City Ministers' meeting which is a couple of hours. I also have a meeting with two representatives of our denomination's national leadership team which will take most of the morning on Thursday. I am not really on their wave length, but I have been in their shoes so will meet with them. I will have to use every bit of spare time to make up for these lost hours though. Wish me luck. I do feel for Christchurch people though after another big shake up today. Wish I could help.

Never boring!

Tough call

I have been involved in disestablishing people's jobs. The final decisions and meetings were this past week. Let me tell you, it is not much fun. I could never be a manager of a big firm, I would not have the courage to make the tough decisions. Anyway it has been a tough call. I have had to go with the chairman to each meeting with the staff. It has for me, been a steep learning curve. It impacts only two people, (not like the 40 people to lose their jobs at the local railway workshops!) but I really feel for them and wish we did not have to make the changes. I believe the new direction is the right way to go, but wish it did not hurt people in the process. That has been part of my week.

Van gone

Many years ago four firefighters came to Church. At the end of the service they led the congregation out into the street and presented me with a 1988 white Toyota van. That van did heaps of work. It carted tools and material during many Habitat for Humanity builds. It moved furniture. It helped move the night shelter twice. It has moved hay, rubbish and even animals. It has assisted many people. Its last big trip was a trip to Christchurch absolutely laden with furniture, inside and on the roof rack for my son. Unfortunately shortly after that trip the motor broke down. A garage attempted to fix it but found it would be a very expensive fix. The body was a little worse for wear so it was not worth fixing. I ended up purchasing another van for about half of what the repair bill would be. (The one I had an accident in last year) I parked the original up in my drive. I was loath to part with it. It was a special gift and had some special memories. A man wanted it and rang and visited several times. I think he thought I knew nothing about motors, and that it was an easy fix. When I told him the reality he still wanted it and towed it away on Saturday. I was sad. Even though there had been a number of mechanical problems over the years, I loved the friendship she symbolised.

Mixing with Tax-collectors...

Jesus got criticised for mixing with the wrong people. I feel like I have experienced a similar thing. A number of unemployed, hard up, "different" people come into Space2B at lunch times. Many come to our Friday night drop-in centre. Also in Space2B we partner with various community groups to run programs. We have a monthly session with one particular group. On Friday I received an email from the leader of the group requesting that we consider not allowing those men (some "with bad personal hygiene") to be in Space2B when their group is doing their thing. We are still working out how to respond. I felt sad. I know that they can be difficult and a number are very "different", but I hate to ban them? It just seems to be a denial of the very nature of Jesus (who we claim to follow) to stop them coming. A year or so ago in the early days of Space2B with the closure of a local centre that catered for the men, I could see the potential for such difficulties. Because of this potential I wanted to allow a drop-in to open in our drop-in centre space, but was unable to convince others of the need. If that had happened we could have met the needs of both groups and avoided the clash of cultures. Perhaps that decision could mean Space2B will never reach its potential? I think we need not ban them, but with half an ounce of tolerance and understanding I think we could cope. But the people in Jesus day tried to keep the outcasts in their place, and that seems to be still true today.

Photos: When I received the van years ago and just before it was towed away on Saturday.

A loner learning.

When I was a boy and even into my teens and adult years I used to hate mixing with people too much. As a boy my older brother used to complain that I always liked playing by myself. My mother used to call me "unsociable" and "selfish" and force me to play with my brothers by taking away the things I was playing with or the book I was reading. As a young boy/teen I liked nothing better than to hop on my bike and explore the world by myself. Mum and Dad often hosted people for Sunday night shindigs or Sunday lunches and I would often slink off to my room. (Much to my mother's disgust) I went to youth group and youth club functions and enjoyed them well enough, but often enjoyed watching and listening to others rather than conversing too much. I was never the centre of attention, the life of the party, but by choice really, a more quiet participant. I was part of a group of teens from the youth club that "hung" together, but I often enjoyed being by myself. Even as an young adult I did not like crowds. I recall in the early years of our marriage if we were up town on a Friday night there were times when I just had to get out of a department store to get away from people! It was almost a phobia. My poor new wife wondered what she struck. (Friday nights were crowded then - no weekend shopping) We would be moving through a shop and I would say, "I gotta go!" and leave her standing bemused while I pushed for the door. I think I had (perhaps still have to some extent) deep "trust issues" from somewhere in my childhood.

I recall watching the film "Paint your wagon". Lee Marvin sings the song "I was born under a wandrin' star" and I simply LOVED it! That was ME!

"Mud can make you prisoner

plains can make you dry

snow can burn your eyes

but only people make you cry!

Do I know where hell is?

Hell is in "hello"

Heaven is goodbye for ever

its time for me to go!"

I so identified with those sentiments that I rushed out and bought the 45 record. (Funny that I was married at 20 years of age?) I still enjoy being by myself. I still enjoy watching and listening to others. I still find relating to new people a psychological hurdle. I am relatively good at leading a service in front of crowds, but it remains something I get nervous about. Working, walking, running, biking, just "being" by myself is still an enjoyable experience for me.

But I know in my heart that it is good to relate with people. I know too that if I am to be a follower of Jesus (JC's helper) I am called to push past my shyness and in my way, relate with people. I know that sharing in loving ways with others is THE most important thing I can do in life. Today I felt the warmth of that. As I have moved about today, down the street, in Space2B and in chaplaincy I have had people giving me very warm "Hello's". Sorry Lee Marvin, I enjoy your character and your song, but you are wrong. "Heaven" is in "hello". I think it is unhealthy if you need to be with people all the time. I think it is important to be able to know, love and be by yourself, but there is something sacred about friendship and sharing. Today I experienced that warmth, and for that I am thankful.

Photo: The group I used to "hang around with" as a teen sometimes on a Sunday afternoon. Where am I? ... way at the back!

Earthquake fallout.

Monday respite.

Monday is my day off, so I have been mucking around doing little bits of various things. I have been attempting to tidy my home study. Some things have been cleaned out. I just found a map book I thought I had lost! We have also been throwing out old books. This is quite hard because some of them were a good read, but if I was to be honest I won't be reading them again in my life time. My wife had a pile of throw outs, but as I looked through them some were saved from going to the famous 24hour Regent book sale. My poor kids after I die! I also went for a bike ride. There was a speedy tail wind as I rode down the harbour toward Dunedin, but that translated to a cold and tough head wind home. It was a good buzz, it is like the more difficult it is the more satisfying it is when you complete the exercise. My week ahead has things I have to attend every night from Tuesday until Friday, with Thursday night double booked. We have also been invited to attend a function on Saturday night, but we might give that a miss. It will be another busy week.

The Earthquake continues to impact.

We who are not living in Christchurch tend to think the earthquake there in February is old news now. But I have had recent reminders that for many people it is still impacting their lives in a big way.

* Fear and bad dreams... I was talking to a bright young lady on Sunday who was in the midst of the earthquake when it happened. She was working in a cafe in the CBD when it struck and she had to escape from her building. She bravely assisted others before riding home on her bike. She came back home to Dunedin, but has to return to Christchurch next month. She told me that even now about once a week she will wake up to bad earthquake dreams. She says that when she is in the street or in particularly an old building she is still a bit apprehensive and is always checking out escape routes or safe places to stand. With earthquakes still happening in Christchurch she is not looking forward to going back.

* Loss of home and income. ... I have talked to men who are working for their firm in Dunedin after their Christchurch branch was wrecked. The Christchurch one is now not going to be rebuilt and the men have been invited to permanently move south. It means uprooting their family. It means selling their Christchurch home, which in some cases is now not worth what they still owe on it. It is a very difficult decision for them and the families.

* Still coping with injuries... Through one of my chaplaincies I was put in touch with a young lady who was pulled out of wreckage with a severely damaged leg. She was in hospital undergoing surgery. Recognising an old male would not be much help to her I sent my wife to visit. They have kept in touch. She is still receiving treatment and skin grafts and life is still severely disrupted because of the quake. My wife receives frequent communication from her wanting support.

These are just three incidents within my circle here in Dunedin. The impacts of those terrible few seconds continue to disrupt "normal" living for a lot of people. Reach out to them in solidarity. Don't forget them.

Photo: The exposed hallway in the house next to my son's house in Christchurch. The house is condemned. A dangerous brick wall has been pulled down, but there are still household items inside??? The house will come down in time.

Another week..

Wanda OK.

First I have to report that we took our old Nissan Bluebird to the auto-electrician and he put a new starter motor in her, now she is fine. I only have the satisfaction of knowing that I can still diagnose issues, it is nice to pay other people to do the stuff you can't afford the time to do. Even though we are poorer, she runs like clockwork again.

The warm feeling of satisfaction.

I have had a busy week with long days and with every minute of the day used. There was one stage when I had an extra thrown at me that I nearly lost it. In exasperation I yelled, "I just can't fit everything in! I am not lazing around, I am working, I just can't do it all!" That really is true, there are some things left undone, but I have been secretly pleased with what has been happening. I'll share some.

My older brother was visiting from Australia. He is a minister there, and while relatively liberal, he fits the mold of a minister better than I do. He leads a good functioning church there and fits into the establishment. I get the feeling he might disagree with my emphases here and look down upon my work as not really being good "Church work". (He has different gifts than I do, there are more resources in his setting at his disposal and running a Church of Christ in Victoria is very different than running one in down town Dunedin.) We had a discussion at my sister's birthday party and at one stage I bit my lip because I was not where he was assuming I was at. Anyway he came and we had lunch together on Wednesday. When he arrived at the Church it felt like Space2B was full of people talking and sharing with each other, and secretly I felt pleased. It may be different than he would run, but my dream was working as I envisioned it. When someone visits you look at your show with more critical eyes, and I thought what I saw at lunchtime on Wednesday looked pretty healthy.

Thursday was a very full day and again at lunchtime Space2B was full of people. We partner with the local city council settlement resource person and an immigrants orientation tour begins at our place. This day it was being filmed by the Council to be used as a podcast on their website. Also the local TV station was along to film parts of it. I looked at what was happening and felt satisfied inside. The Church was using its resources for the community, life enhancing positive stuff was happening and people were feeling at home there. I thought I saw "God smiling"... it may be unconventional "church work" but it is relevant and real.

On Friday a lady who is studying counseling and social work had asked if she could have a field placement at our Space2b and drop-in centre. Currently she has a fairly high profile job in the community which is going to cease later in the year. I had agreed and invited her to come and see what we did at Drop-in to see if she felt it suited her requirements. As the drop-in opened and she watched people coming I could not help but be a bit proud. Again you look at what you do more objectively because someone is visiting. This I did as we met on Friday night and I felt secretly proud of what was happening. People were being loved, accepted and affirmed.

I have done my usual chaplaincy hours. In one of my chaplaincies people are going through change and I was pleased to be able to drop easily into conversation and support people in that. I have been pleasantly surprised at the warmth with which people receive me in chaplaincy and I look back at time spent this week with a sense of satisfaction.

I look back at the week feeling deeply privileged because in the course of my work I get to meet and share with some great people who treat me with warmth. (e.g. Today on my run I came across a guy from my brewery chaplaincy and I felt pleased. We so easily dropped into significant conversation.) I look back on the week and I feel that I am doing OK, making a significant and useful contribution in my roles as minister and chaplain. In the Genesis myth about creation God finished each day's creative work and looked and "saw that it was good." I look back on my week and I look and think, "Yeah that was busy, sometimes stressful but good and worthwhile!" And in that I am very fortunate and wealthy!

Photos: Three attempts to catch the feeling of the sky when I walked up my mountain yesterday. No photo could grasp it though.

Who stole my lunch?

My wife purchased my lunch on her way into the church today. When she arrived I informed her that I had arranged for us to have lunch with my brother who was visiting from Australia. We decided that the purchased lunch could go into the church fridge to be used tomorrow. In the evening she came into my office at the church and in an accusing tone asked me what had happened to my lunch? She assumed that sometime in the afternoon I had got hungry and decided to eat it. "I don't know!" I replied, "If it is gone it is not me!" We have Space2b at lunchtimes and today there were quite a number in the back of the church where we hold it. It is open for people to come in and there are hot drinks available, for a gold coin donation. Most give a donation but there is a group of guys who I suspect seldom do. I think one of these guys went out to the kitchen, opened the fridge and helped themselves to my lunch!

The weird thing is that if they had asked for food I probably would have given it to them. It feels a bit yuck that one of these guest stole my lunch. I recall a church member who died several years ago who had food stolen. He was a simple retired single guy who kept an immaculate garden and a productive vegetable garden. He lived in an area where there were student flats and there was a lane running down beside his house where students would come and go. He was always troubled with vegetables being stolen. They scraped out the potatoes from under the plants, leaving the tops growing. They did the same to carrots, cutting them off and replanting the tops. They took cabbages, silver-beet and ate his beans and peas. He said to me, "If they knocked on the door and asked I would be happy to grow vegetables for them!"

Anyway people are people and none of us are perfect. It reminded me of a quote I have on my wall... Mother Teresa may have written it, she certainly used it, but when I first got it it was said that Bishop Abel Muzorewa sent it to African Pastors during difficult times. Whoever wrote it, it has guided me over many years (when I can muster the right spirit)

"People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people may accuse you of selfish motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you may win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People who really want help may attack you if you help them. Help them anyway. Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt. Give the world your best anyway."