Conflicting Monday thoughts

Been in the backyard today. Here is an abandoned nest I found in the wood shed. The eggs are so delicate!

Volunteers name their terms
Our Community Christmas day dinner is an interest exercise. Thankfully we have heaps of volunteers ring up to offer assistance. This is great, but just sometimes they want to come "on their terms" do what they think best. There are some who want to come with their kids to "make the kids appreciate what they have." I want to scream down the phone, "These people are not zoo animals for your kids to get educated about!" When we say that we encourage hosts to sit and eat with guests some will say, "I don't want to eat with them!" in an almost derogatory fashion. Others just want to do "such and such". I often think we want to help the "unfortunate" but we want to do it on our terms. Do we listen to them? Do we respect them? Are we flexible and willing to do what is needed? Are we willing to give ourselves, our personality, our love and drop our guard so they can sense another human being?
Good grief WINZ!
We have a guy in our church who is in his mid 50's. He is a "simple guy" though far from having an intellectual handicap. He came to us via the drop-in centre. He is a dyslexic and reading is a slow process for him. In the time I have known him he has had two different full time jobs. He was a cleaner/morning tea room man in an engineering factory and he has been a street sweeper. He is a conscientious worker but in both jobs because of changes in each firm, (loss of contracts) he was twice made redundant. Of his own initiative he participates in a Task Force Green job scheme which has him doing some useful work with just a little extra in his sickness benefit. He is hearing impaired and cannot afford hearing aids. He gets gout from time to time and when he does he finds it difficult and painful to walk. He had a small stroke recently, from which he has virtually recovered but is still coming to terms with it. If he goes to the doctor he struggles to pay the fee. When he was first unemployed he did search for jobs. I did a CV with him. He was then put on a sickness benefit. He helps out on a Sunday morning by coming early and setting things up, making coffee and doing simple jobs in preparation for worship. He helps out at the drop-in centre, helping to set up and clean up. But the other day he got this officious letter from Work and Income New Zealand, demanding that he must go look for work. In it they give web sites he can look at so that he can check out opportunities. Now I once taught him to play solitaire on a computer, but he would never even know what a web site is, let alone workout how to navigate the internet! Get real WINZ. There are no jobs out there for the likes of him! You say he is now not on sickness benefit, but he is in worse shape now than he used to be. He is not on drugs, he does not do criminal activity, he does not drink, he does not smoke,  he is only a little over weight. He is not a bludger! It is not his fault he is unemployed! It is the result of the "system". The super efficient workplace scene these days has no space for him. He came to me very upset (while I was at the urinal he was standing behind me expressing his anguish - in my "private space!") fearful he was going to lose his benefit. "The're telling me to get off my arse and get a job! I could lose my money! There are no jobs!" I wish I could get Prime Minister John Key and others down to my drop-in some Friday night and tell them to find the jobs they say are there for these people!  Back off WINZ. Try something more sensitive. Invite them in for an interview then write your letters. You are causing unnecessary anguish!
Help expected
I sometimes get annoyed with the people I try to help. Let me say I do not want to generalise, but there is a group of people who act as if the world owes them a living or anything going. I sense this as people ring up for the Christmas dinner. There are those who really appreciate what we are doing. But there are those who think it is their right! That the transport provided should be there, and they hope its properly cooked and can we have Karaoke again! It is that sort of attitude. It is similar at our drop-in centre. One man, an alcoholic, said to me, "If it wasn't for the likes of me you guys would not have a job!"  I nicely pointed out that we were all volunteers. Another was worried about recent government funding cuts to social work agencies and asked, "Will they cut your funds?" Well no! Donations from us and other caring people pay for the drop-in centre. "The government should give us these things!" he replied. Some will complain because we have not had savaloys in a while, and "when are the cakes coming out?" I have had them banging on the church door if we are a few minutes late getting things ready.  They now know not to do that because I will wait longer before opening. :-) I have heard them telling door bangers off... "Don't do that! Dave goes slow if we bang on the door!" Even some of the Habitat for Humanity people I have worked my guts out to help have come across like I was a paid lackey doing their bidding!. ... It sometimes annoys me... but I do not let it stop me doing things for people. Their attitude, their reaction is their responsibility, their problem. I am called to give people a hand, to give to the poor and help the oppressed etc, that is my responsibility. Just because their nature is to be selfish and self serving, why should I change my nature to give and to care? That's the ideal, but just sometimes I get a bit annoyed. Sometimes people will say, "They are pulling the wool over your eyes! They are just using you!" "No they're not. I know what they are like, but that is their problem, not mine!" Let me say I am not a pushover, I do give wisely. A man once said to me, "If you try to sort out the needy from the greedy, you will do nothing!" I think he was right.

Sunday before Christmas

Jealous
I mix with people who are slowing down and knocking off for the year. I have been mistakenly thinking that after Christmas things will lighten up for me and I'll be able to do some tidying up, some planning etc. But as I think about it I won't be able to do that. I had a man come to me today and ask when my chaplaincies finish for the year? They don't!  Fire service, Ambulance, News Paper and brewery... they just do not shut down. I will be continuing to visit until I actually go on holiday. My weeks will be just as crowded. I see people having end of year parties and slowing down toward the holidays and part of me is jealous. The collegiality would be nice as well as the slowing down. But then I choose to do the work I do and there are other deep rewards.
Normal Christmas
I talk to people about their christmas plans and the variety of responses is interesting. Some see Christmas day as a day to get "pissed". (drunk) They look forward to lazing around drinking "stubbies" all day and collapsing into bed having pigged out and thoroughly drunk. Others tell you their plans and it goes like this. "We gotta go out to the in-laws' for lunch, then we gotta go to my brother's place, then we gotta go to mum and dad's place." It all sounds like hard work! They often do not sound thrilled. When I think back to our 'normal' Christmases I sometimes had this feel. You felt you better not hurt anybody by not turning up. You ended the day having been fed a way too much, the kids were scratchy and you were tired and you had not had much time together as a family. When we began our Community Christmas dinners my mum was quite annoyed. "You don't like family!" she would complain. After the first Christmas day dinner we climbed in the van to drive three hours to where the family were celebrating so that we would not disappoint mum. Half way there the van broke down and we had to turn around and nurse the van home. Since then we have tried to catch up with family on Boxing day or New Years day. I am lucky. I know I will have a good Christmas day. It will be stressful, very busy and tiring. The one thing I am sure of is that late in the afternoon, I will be sitting at home drinking a stubby with an incredibly warm feeling that we have helped a lot of people, guests and volunteers, have a great day. You can't beat that feeling!
No worship next Sunday!
At the Church of Christ Community we are not going to have a church service this coming Sunday. In the last 153 years that has perhaps never happened before. There probably has always been some worship, even in the big snows. It is Christmas Day also, a very important day in the Church calendar. Why is there no worship?  Because we are holding our 23rd Community Christmas day dinner and there is no space for worship. There is no time to hold worship and there will be no space in the building.  But..... we will be open to all, sharing love, breaking bread together (eating) and we will be remembering Jesus.  Perhaps that is worship after all?  I don't get out of the work of preparation though. I have a radio service to record on Wednesday.
Not all bad...
In Church this morning I had a thanksgiving time for the year that has passed. We thought about the sorts of things we as a church had achieved in the year. It was not a bad list. As we sung the final hymn I looked at the congregation and counted up a number of people who were not worshipping with us this time last year. In spite of the fact that we are an old down town church, and we are mostly older people with an organ as our musical instrument (which I am not comfortable with) we have added to our numbers. That's not bad for our style, our city and where we are. We are not static. 

"Modest Donation" - Yeah right.

I wrote recently of a law firm who arranged what they termed a "modest donation" toward our Church's Community Christmas Day dinner. We received the envelope today. There was a Cheque in it for $1000. Wow. Modest? It enables us to breathe easy. Another lady gave $100, and another gave a heap of personally painted pine cones to help us decorate the place. We have been promised a further ham. It is all happening. I am finding it hard to get around to doing all I need to do, but it certainly is a great adventure, exciting even though this dinner will be number 23. People ask me sometimes, "Don't you want a 'normal' Christmas?" We have done it for so long I think I have forgotten what a "normal" Christmas is like. I realised that for most of our married life we have been running Christmas Day dinners. (we have been married 42 years.)

Christmas generosity (4) and dreaming

More Christmas gifts
I heard today that a lady has given us $200 toward our Christmas dinner. She is the sister of a Dominican Sister, I don't know her but she knows of us. The local Dominican Sisters have always been very supportive of our work.  Today we talked with the couple who will provide some singing entertainment, and it is so good they are bright, friendly and enthusiastic. The wave of generosity continues.


Dreaming

• I am out of sorts with my denomination and do not feel I belong. I have read of the United Church of Christ in USA and wish they had a presence in NZ. Maybe my congregation could join them then? If not the congregation it would be an option for me?
• I am out of sorts with Habitat for Humanity NZ and locally I find they are doing things that somehow deny the spirit of Habitat for Humanity. I get emails from the Fuller Centre For Housing which is a continuation of the ministry of Millard Fuller the founder of Habitat for Humanity. I wish they had a presence in NZ so I could get involved. When I was involved in Habitat locally we were building houses and I loved that sense of accomplishment, the sharing between rich and poor and the love enjoyed on site. They are doing things differently locally now. I think that community building was an important part of the total work. The way things are done now it feels like they have cut the guts out of H4H. I am deeply disappointed. I had hoped that Habitat for Humanity could have been my retirement occupation. 
• I still find myself annoyed every time I have to submit statistics in Chaplaincy. I hear too that the on site chaplaincy is becoming less of their work and consultancy/supervision is expanding. I feel we have embarked on a business model of operation and neglected the mission model. So I am a little out of sorts with chaplaincy.

One has to ask, am I just hard to get along with? I am a bit of a dreamer.  Walking down the mountain the other day I dreamed of these possibilities....

1. Maybe with others in retirement I could explore another type of "Spiritual/service" base? (Church)
2. There is more and more a need for families to receive a hand up and for communities to share resources across the rich/poor divide.  There used to be another housing group in Dunedin called "Just Housing".  Maybe there is room for another group to operate?
3. I am enjoying the freedom of my voluntary St John chaplaincy. It feels like valid people ministry and mission. Maybe voluntary chaplaincy is my future?

I don't think I am hard to get along with. In spite of my differences I have hung in with all the above groups a lot longer than many others have.  One man wrote;

There are two things

The ACTUAL and the IDEAL.

To be mature is to see the ideal

and live with the actual.

To fail is to accept the actual

and reject the ideal

and to accept only that which is ideal

and refuse the actual

is to be immature.

Do not reject the ideal

because you see the actual.

Maturity is to live with the ACTUAL

But hold on to the IDEAL. 

.... Derek Prince.

But sometimes "living in tension" is tiring.

Thinking out loud and coincidence.

"No Creed but Christ"
Today is my day off and I have been in the vegetable garden which means as I work, I think. I had some work emails to deal with early this morning and in the process went to our denominations NZ website. There was a Christmas message from the president with his thoughts about the future. In his message he says this about his dream for our churches....

Firstly, United.

Who wants to join something that is fragmented and dysfunctional at the relational level?  Jesus greatest desire was that we would be one so that the world would know we are His disciples.

Secondly, Alignment.

Are we on the same page?  What would our core beliefs be that those of us who are connected to CCNZ would wholeheartedly agree with (we should sit down and work that through sometime).  I know we pride ourselves in the statement ‘no creed but Christ’, it does seem to be open to misinterpretation.  For CCNZ what does ‘but Christ’ really mean?

I have heard the same man raise this issue before. He wants to clearly define what we believe and who believes it, and my guess is he will want us to believe the same as he does. I like our restoration movement slogan, "No creed but Christ". I like our other slogan, "In essentials Unity, in non-essentials liberty, and in all things love." I do not like people trying to define dogma. I think that it was in that process that the early church got distorted and drifted away from the way of Jesus. The "Pharisees" continue to invade the church!

I love the story about one of our founders, Alexander Campbell. In the early nineteenth century he was somewhere in Scotland as a Presbyterian minister (At least of one branch of the then very splintered presbyterian Church) and attended a communion service. To get accepted for communion you had to answer certain questions about dogma and if you answered correctly you received a little lead token which was your ticket to allow you to take communion. The woman in front of him could not answer all the questions correctly so she was turned away from taking communion, and obviously upset by this turn of events. Alexander Campbell answered correctly, received his token, but when the offering plate came around found himself placing the token in the plate and leaving the service in disgust. He was so distressed that these dogma questions kept followers of Christ away from the communion table.

I like "No Creed but Christ". It allows people who follow Christ, with a variety of interpretations as to what dogma they believe, to actually work together, discover Jesus and discover unity. One of the reasons I have stayed with our Churches is that potentially there is room for liberty. I do feel out of sorts with current trends and the president probably sees me as one who is contributing to fragmentation and dysfunction. (I don't rock the boat, just keep doing my thing as I believe it.- a sort of "live and let live" attitude.) I recall a western comedy song, I think a take off about Billy the kid. In it an imaginary psychologist asks the kid, "When did you run away from home?" Answer: "I didn't run away from home, my home ran away from me. - We lived in a covered wagon and I fell out the back". I feel like that.  Churches of Christ, my "home," started me on a faith journey that included openness, love, scholarship and inclusiveness. I have continued the journey but my "home ran away from me." Somehow I feel its done a u-turn and is heading back to a superstitious, sectarian and theologically ignorant form of Christianity.
Coincidence
I have just become chairman of the local Night Shelter Trust. (I was a founding member) We learned that the house we rent was to be auctioned off today. I went along to the auction with another man from our trust. We are of course concerned because the homeless could be even more homeless.  I was sitting there waiting for the auction to begin and thinking how much out of my comfort zone I was. The men gathering looked rich property investors, and my companion knew some of them. This was not my scene. Then a suited man came in and I suddenly realised I knew him. He was a friend from the time I did a social work course. We used to run together. He is now a property investor and wheeler and dealer. Way back when we were exploring the beginnings of the night shelter this man had expressed an interest in assisting. Now he was still interested and keen to have a meeting. The house was not sold. We did line up a meeting between him and a group from the Trust. As he shook my hand to leave he said, "This is no coincidence - somehow it I think it was meant to be." I suspect he may be right. So often in my life when profound work, "God's work" needs resources the right people "emerge".  For example, we have never run short of money or resources for our Christmas Day dinner. I wish I trusted that more often. Watch this space. (Speaking of unity... it is not found by "sitting down and working through" beliefs. It is found in loving action together. My Night Shelter and Habitat for Humanity experience attests to this. Most of my colleagues on the Night Shelter Trust are Catholics. If we talked "beliefs" we would fight. But by following Jesus in caring action we discover an exciting essential unity in Jesus.) 
A great day
I have been an unfaithful Kiwi today. I checked the scores of the Hobart cricket test match against Australia last night and I despaired. It looked like another Aussie victory. But I was wrong. The New Zealand bowlers and fielders did their thing well and we beat the Australians in Australia. (The first time this has happened in since 1993) As one email to the TV station said tonight, "Any day we beat the Australians is a great day!"

Sunday two weeks before Christmas

This time in two weeks I will be very tired but hopefully satisfied after our twenty third Christmas day community dinner, but the next two weeks will be very busy.  The last few days have been interesting.
The last drop-in centre
On Friday night we had our final night for 2011 of our drop-in centre. It is nice to know that we have Friday nights off until February. The guests we have are generally used to this by now but you can sense their sadness as they were saying "goodbye." We have one guy who comes every Friday, he used to be a weight lifter, so even though he is a gentle guy, he looks mean. He is unemployed but spends his days looking after his dad who is senile, very old and disabled. He comes in on a Friday night, has something to eat with us, plays a few games of pool and then goes to "tuck Dad into bed." He came in on Friday as usual and when he learned it was the final night eyeballed me and said, "When are you starting again?" I told him it would be February and the disappointment was written all over his face and eyeballing me again he said, "That's a very long break. Why?" I felt guilty, but I do know it is hard work.  One of our volunteers commented on Saturday night that Saturdays were always hard after Friday nights. Each Friday night is tiring.
Simple ashes burial
I conducted a small ceremony as we interred the ashes of the 101 year old lady whose funeral I took recently. It was a small simple ceremony at a family grave site.  The lady had asked that her departure be handled very simply, no great funeral and no money wasted. (She had the cheapest of coffins to honour her request) She wanted her ashes buried in a simple cardboard box.  I loved her style, I will include such instructions about my departure.
Cross cultural family night
We had a family night with guests coming from a range of cultures. These immigrants to NZ came from China, Scotland, Germany, India, Sri Lanka, Iran, Philippine/American, Samoa, Sudan and of course New Zealand. We ate a pot luck meal, the kids played games and adults were busy talking. About three people shared a song with us and then others spontaneously sang. A fifteen year old from Sri Lanka sang, then her thirteen year old sister joined her for another song. Three Indian ladies spontaneously sang a song from where they were sitting. The special for me was when an Iranian lady shared a Persian chant about relying on God. Of course, as with the other songs, we could not understand a word, but the presentation was reverent and sincere. I enjoy this mix of cultures, it enriches my life.
Two women's words..
Among the group is a mature Chinese couple. The man has very limited English and we have to use simple words and play charades to talk with him. His wife has more English but still struggles sometimes. They have come to our Christmas dinner twice. They were booking in for their third dinner and as they wrote their names down she hesitated. She said, "I want to... I want to...(and she turned to her husband and spoke Chinese briefly) I want to... be like you... I want to ... volunteer.. get the meals ...we have been two times (holding up two fingers) it is time for us... to help." I grinned all over. It was so neat. She will be a happy volunteer.
The Indian woman who leads the cross cultural women's group was expressing thanks for support we had given. She said, "Lots of people just talk about helping people, but David (us) really does it. These people don't just talk about it, they actually help a lot of people." I'm glad that can be said about us though I don't think we are as good as it sounds.

The broom grows so quickly, it nearly takes over the early track on my mountain.

Even though it is a weed, the broom is pretty and its perfume is nice to walk through.

The platform has been under fallen rocks for years. Why the notices now? 

Christmas generosity (3)

There's a leading lawyer in town who has assisted us with our Christmas Day dinner for about four years now. He rang up and left a message on my phone and I rang him back... "Now about this Christmas dinner old man.... we usually give a modest donation... where can I send it?" The "modest donation" is usually several hundred dollars. "Now also you generally send me to pick people up then I bludge a free meal off you. Do you want my phone numbers so we can arrange that?" I joked with him that the free meal was why I did the Christmas dinner too. He said, "We'll bludge together then old man!" He was a school prefect when I began high school in Dunedin and gave me one or two detentions in my first year at Otago Boys High. It is funny that now later in life we have this once a year friendship. I think its cool.