Mountain reflections...

I love "my" mountain and will become one with it one day.

Hard slippery snow-ice or running water?

Becoming one with the mountain.
Yesterday's church service I focused on "If the Church were Christian this life would be more important than the afterlife." In that sermon I stated that in spite of "Christian tradition" Jesus' focus was not the afterlife or life after death. It is true for me that if somebody could prove beyond doubt that there was no life after death, I would still follow Jesus. I follow him because of his inner-authenticity, he just makes sense with his teachings and approach to life. I walked up "my" Mount Cargill today. It has been some weeks since I have done that. As I stood on the top I got to thinking on my sermon, as you do on the day after such a traumatic experience. I have said to my wife that when I die I want to be cremated and, if I am still living in Dunedin, my ashes scattered on Mount Cargill. In a few years then when I pass on from this human existence, my remains will be scattered on this mountain I love. (I hope they judge the wind direction properly!) My physical remains will become one with this beloved mountain. I will become part of the soil and maybe bush. As I stood there eating my apple this afternoon I thought that I suspect a similar thing happens to my "spiritual self" whatever that is. It will become one with the love that sustains the universe. That is my concept of life after death. My loving deeds, at least will become part of the ongoing ripple of love. I think "I" lose myself in the love of God, that flow of love which is a part of this existence.
Hard snow/ice or running water from melted snow?
It snowed in around Dunedin hills last week, and in spite of some sunny weather and some rain, the snow is still lying in parts of the hills. As I neared the top of the mountain it became quite risky. Where people on the weekend had walked on the snow it had become hard ice, and with that extremely slippery.  It was difficult going up the track, steps and boardwalks, but extra dangerous coming down. Sometimes I had to just inch along carefully. Beside the track there was often a flow of water, melted snow draining off the hill. I found it easier to walk in this stream than risk the compounded ice. I got to thinking that we are a bit like that. Some of us when the sufferings, disappointments and hurts of life strike us become hard hearted. We are reluctant to trust ourselves with others, we don't let people "in" and we look after ourselves. Life is a battle ground for us and we have our armour on. We are like this snow squeezed into becoming hard, slippery ice. There are others who when life's difficulties hit become all to aware of the hurts, disappointments and heartaches  of life, but they melt and somehow use their adversity to help others stay upright in life. They are like the running water, clearing a path for secure footholds. I met such people last week. I met with three people who work with prisoners being released from prison. I think each had stories of difficulty. They had to some extent become aware. They were no longer naive. They had been lied to, disappointed, frustrated, had needed to change their view of "success". They were "hardened" to some extent, by the very nature of the work they were doing and the people they were dealing with. But they had also allowed themselves to be melted. They cared for these ex-prisoners as if they were their own sons and daughters. One of them was a tough woman, been there and seen that, but still a loving mother/grandmother type person. She lovingly called her clients, "My babies" and you just knew she was doing all she could to help them.
I have known lots of people who having been through hard times themselves became like refreshing water, reaching out to others in love. Others I know after hard times became like hardened snow/ice. I tend to do that sometimes.

Reflecting on a week of people...

This weekend at my daughter's house we installed a new ceiling. Yet to be stopped and painted.

Those that don't - criticise.
Last Sunday and today my running friend and I went for a walk. Each time we actually ran some distance because we have started our return to running. She has had a knee operation and I have had a sore knee so we have not been running for sometime! Where we walk/run lots of people go running, looking very fit, gliding up and down the hill easily. (Today we power-walked up the hill arriving at the top totally breathless) We are a strange pair.  She is twenty years younger than I so we look like father and daughter.  But these last two Sundays we have looked with envy at the lithe runners about us and indulged in criticism!  "Look at the funny way he's running!" "What a strange get up she's wearing!" "Bet he hasn't been running long!" "He's such a show off!" etc. etc. We are simply jealous because we used to be able to run freely and now we don't. As I reflected on this tendency and conversations I frequently have with people, it is often true that those that don't get off their butt and help the world along criticise those who do. It is easy to do nothing, make no mistakes, have no challenges and criticise those who are doing things.

Night Shelter decisions

Lots of my emotional energy this past week has been given to the Night Shelter cause. I have had meetings, conversations and heaps of times stewing. We had a nearly three hour meeting on Thursday evening that I facilitated to make important decisions about an ongoing accommodation project. At times the meeting was tense and intense, but I managed to keep a sense of fun and humour within the group. Since then I have been discussing, thinking and planning for the way ahead. It is funny. I am scared stiff about the project, wondering if we can do it, but strangely intensely "alive" by the opportunity to facilitate this group of people on this adventure.

My mate Jeff...
I have a friend who used to come to our drop-in centre who is an interesting character. He has been banned from drop-in centres and other places around town because he tends to be rough and uncouth in the way he relates. But I can't help liking him. He has physical and mental health issues so is unemployed, but reads on the internet voraciously. He will come out with facts and figures that will astound you. I was in Space2B (lunch time coffee area at our Church) when in he came with a little Jack Russell dog's lead tied to his waist. "Daaave Brown!" he yelled in a big gruff loud voice. He came in, sat down and chatted a while.  I had not seen him for some time. "Gotta go get a magazine!" he said abruptly and picking up his dog deposited him on my lap to look after, while he went off to the shop. He bought a magazine and threw it on the table. He later said, "Thats for you! Thought you might like some intelligent reading." He asked if I could give him a lift, it was cold and raining heavily outside. I did so, and as we drove toward his place he dropped $5 on my knee. When I protested he said,"Don't expect you to give me a lift for nothin'!" He really is a nice guy, but hides it well under this rough gruff exterior. I need to spend more time with him. I think he has softened over the years, but don't tell him I said that.
Nostalgia...
As I drove toward Jeff's house the rain stopped. When we were approaching an intersection he blurted out, "Turn left, turn left!" "Why?" I asked. "I want to walk the mutt through the park (Chingford Park) he loves it!" So I turned, went down to the back entrance of the park and dropped him off. I was actually overcome with nostalgia. As adolescents and teenagers we lived on the corner he demanded that I turn left on. The house is still there, actually for sale. I could remember the people who use to live  in the houses as I drove to the back entrance. The last house right by the park was the house of a girl I used to go to art classes with, "Moira".  Her dad used to drive us there every Saturday morning and she and I would meander back through town after class, sometimes buying chips along the way. (You could buy threepence worth of chips in those days) Where he started walking we used to play neighbourhood cricket. The Brown boys gathered with mates and anybody else who wanted to play, and often we would play till dark. I used to spend lazy hours riding my bike around the field on my own, doing all sorts of tricks. I could stand on the seat. I could bend down at speed and pick a ball up off the ground. I tried leaping off my bike to grasp an overhanging branch and climb into a tree. Here we wandered, played and later walked as a gang of friends on Sunday afternoons, flirting shyly and working out what it meant to be girls and boys together. It all came flooding back to me and I thought how nice it would be to wind back the clock. I was tempted to hop out of the car and wander the park once more, this time  with Jeff and his dog. I had places to go and people to see so I turned around, sounded the horn in farewell to Jeff and went back to the office.
Food speaks...
We have a social work student on field placement with us. She, I think reluctantly, participates in some of the food preparation for the drop-in centre. My wife says that the food preparation is part of social work, even though it may be looked down upon. By serving food, by doing dishes, by breaking the ice with people as we share food with them, we are saying that they are important, they are loved. I have to agree. Some of our guests only come for the food. I have found, however, that when you take a plate around and offer food as if they were an important guest in your house, you can often sense an openness, a breaking down of barriers that nothing else could do. The gift of food and its preparation speaks to people about acceptance, welcome and affirmation. It is "social work"!

The attic ladder installed

Closing the ladder at the end of the nights work.

Bolting it into place.

Son in law Dave coming down the newly installed ladder.

Tonight after tea we continued to work on the room at my daughter's place. The attic ladder was officially installed. Again a thought out plan all came to fruition without any hitches. We did well. Next we put a new ceiling up. Saturday is the next working bee.

Tuesday toil...

It looks like I am posing but I was just trying to get out of the way.

Tomorrow night the lowering stairway gets installed.

The last wall to be ready for gib board.

Today has been quite an interesting day. I spent most of the morning working with a social work student on Night Shelter stuff... progressing toward a positive project we put before the board on Thursday night. I did ambulance and fire service chaplaincies and spent time discussing things with a night shelter friend. It is exciting times that seem to be all coming together with a great team of people.
Work finished about 6 p.m. and I went and worked on my daughter's renovations. We dwanged out the last wall of the room ready for gib board. We then cut a hole in the ceiling and fixed up the frame work, ready for the installation of an attic ladder which lowers out of the ceiling. It was great. We thought out what we wanted to do, we worked methodically through all the steps and it all came together beautifully. You feel good about such things and you gain confidence in your own abilities and skill level. A late but enjoyable night.
When we got home we collected the mail and we got a lovely letter of congratulation for becoming a grandparents from a friend in Palmerston North. We had been talking with her on the phone over the weekend. She is a widow, her husband died while we were in Europe nearly two years ago. They were good to us when we were in Palmerston North. Here's what she wrote; "I read a saying - 'I like me when I am with you.' I can honestly say Laurie (her husband) and I always felt that with you two." That warmed the cockles of my heart on this cold night. :-)

Sunday night blobbing.. "What's Christianity?"

Tonight I have just blobbed out in front of TV. I seemed to have been busy lately and as soon as I stopped this afternoon, I fell asleep.
Today I led a service on "If the Church were Christian it would care more about love and less about sex." While I did not reveal my total liberalism on the subject, I did try to expand people's thinking. I gave examples of how Church legalism on matters sexual had been life and love inhibiting, rather than life enhancing. I suggested that Jesus would not break relationships with people who lived by different standards, that he would look past the issues we have and see the person, and that his God and Father would be more interested in us having loving, fulfilling, life enhancing intimate relationships. He would be more interested in relationship than legalistic rules and regulations. It was a tiring service, because I knew I was dealing with a tricky and sensitive issues so it required a lot of concentration to make sure I worded it strongly, but sensitively. I had to fight the temptation to be brazen or crass just to stir the pot and look "modern". It was an interesting exercise.
It may have been the subject but I enjoyed a number of indepth discussions after church. I had some good positive feedback about the service, but again I enjoyed conversations with some openness and meaning. I t was time well spent.
Tonight I listened to a sermon by Marcus Borg. I have listened to it before and found his summary of "What is Christianity about?" something I can say "Amen" too. I think I would want to add a bit more "love in action" emphasis... that we are transformed not just by thinking, worship and praying but as we get involved in giving and serving, transformation takes place. But I liked his summary. It is only 15 minutes and worth a listen for its content. (Though he is not the most dynamic of speakers - he is evocative and thoughtful.)
Today my friend and I tried a short spell of running... It was slow and short but it did feel good. I want to run again! I hope I can build up slowly again.

People, people and more people.

The "Round table" and in the background couch & coffee table where much discussion takes place in Space2B

I am sitting in my office having a break before our Friday night Drop-in centre starts. Today I came in to the office with lots of things I had to do. I had some administrative things to do. I had to visit a chaplaincy site, as well as do my normal Friday Chaplaincies. But my day has not got started really. A group was going to use our drop-in area for a meeting so I went up there to tidy it up, and sweep the stairs. I then came down to my office to check emails. A couple who head away on a big OE for three months came in and took my wife and I out for coffee. I came back to the Church and began to talk with an Iraqi man who was visiting Space2B while his wife was next door at Women Across Cultures. (He had an interesting question. He said he heard a young woman say she was "Naked" and yet she was clothed? After asking lots of questions we worked out that she was saying "Knackered" and we had to explain what that was. Then he asked us to explain the "Brass Monkey" Motorbike Rally. Why "Brass Monkey"?  That took some explaining. He told us that he once got "gay" and "guy" confused with hilarious results. It is interesting seeing our language and idioms from another point of view.) Our conversation was interrupted by a Japanese lady who wanted to ask various questions, take photos and exchange email addresses. She runs a settlement group in town and wanted to work in with us. The Iraqi and I went on to talk about all sorts of things including religion, his faith and mine. Others joined us and I was sort of stuck there, even though I needed to go over to St John Ambulance. The morning was completely gone with no "work" work done. I went to St John and talked to people there going through tough times. Back at the Church there were others I had to talk with. At around three the fire stations were expecting me so I went there to converse with yet another group of people, then to a wedding rehearsal. The whole day has been used up in talking with people and my plans for the day have gone out the window! In exactly half an hour, at 6:30 p.m. I will open the door to our drop in centre folk and I will have another three hours of conversing with people. (We ended up having at least 50 people through!) Sometimes my St John Ambulance paramedics will joke and say, "This job would be great if it wasn't for the patients!" My job would be a lot easier to get through if I did not have to talk with people! I guess it is my job... but other deadlines await!

The Drop-in centre a minute before opening time.

Not long after opening... 40+ people have arrived. (many hidden behind the counter and piano. )

Lunch time rant

Where have all the statesmen gone?
I notice the death of Sir Brian Tallboys who was once a National Party M.P. He was around in the days when there were a few real statesmen in politics. I never voted for his party I would have to say, but on both sides of the house there were gentlemen politicians who you could respect and you knew, even though you differed from them, they were men of integrity. Many of today's politicians seem like street fighters compared to some of these guys.  I guess early politicians were not as exposed to the media as the current crop, but there does seem to be a real difference.
One on every committee.
From my teenage years on Youth Committees through to today I have been on a myriad of committees both within the church and in the community. I think every committee I have been on has its people or person who is pedantic! These are the people who make the progressive dreamers on the committees jump through every hoop to get things done. In some ways they are good because they make you examine your dreams. Often however, they feel like a lead weight holding back any change or progress. Bless them, but I often want to scream - "Lighten up!"