Why the violence?

Violence.

New Zealand seems to be a very violent society these days.

• Domestic violence, including unbelievable abuse of children, seems to feature very often in our news. We have very high domestic violence statistics. Police report that so much of their time and resources are taken up responding to incidents in the home.
• Unprovoked street violence. I knew a man who was visiting Auckland down by the water front. He was just a tourist walking around with a friend. Without provocation some young men took to them, and he has ended up with an injury that will not get better. I talked to a father whose son was walking in the centre of Dunedin city and some drunken person came from behind jumping on his leg, breaking his leg. To an older generation person like me, it seems unbelievable. We could wander around city streets without a worry into the small hours of the morning. Unprovoked, spur of the moment angry violence seems on the increase.
• Violence around the night scene. Similar to this is that often areas where there are bars and night clubs can be dangerous areas, particularly when they are shutting down and people are moving off. Often too as groups of half cut people interact and travel from bar to bar, violence can happen.
• Party violence.  It feels like almost every weekend there will be some report/s of a party that has ended up with some sort of violent incident. It can be what was intended to be some happy family event that suddenly turns sour. Sometimes its a party of young people that has been gate crashed by unwelcome guests.  
•  School violence. There have been videos of school children fighting, sometimes after school or in the school ground. Videos are posted on social media. Bullying and kid-gangs picking on others seem to be increasing. They were around when I was a boy, but the violence seems to be up a grade or two, uninhibited, more persistent and more treacherous. 
• Violent robberies. Again it seems these are on the increase. Once working at night in a dairy store would not be a worry, but virtually weekly we are shown security footage of frenzied attacks on scared shop keepers by aggravated burglars seeking money, cigarettes or booze. 
• Violence toward paramedics! Often I am hearing about violence toward our ambulance officers. It seems unbelievable, but these people go to help the sick or injured and they are attacked. Sometimes it is by the patient themselves, and at other times it is by friends of the patient.  
• I know a man who is a nice bloke. He has been in prison, but in recent years has tried to go straight. I enjoyed his company and through the Night Shelter Trust had contributed to his transformation. He seemed to be sorting life out, and had found a caring partner. But he is now back in prison. What went wrong? There were two bad mistakes. He was out drinking with a couple of mates and came back to their lodgings with some supplies. An argument started and it ended up in physical fisticuffs and violence. Our man got treated pretty softly by the courts because it seemed he wasn't the instigator. But then he moved into another place with his partner, a caring lady about his age. Eventually, during a drinking episode an argument happened, as happens in most relationships and he beat his partner. This time there was no leniency.  Why did he do it? He is a nice guy, most often helpful and kind. He was getting his life back together and had support? When his inhibitions were low with alcohol, his default reaction to differences of opinion was toward violence.

I am always astounded by the level of violence and politicians, police, judges and social workers wring their hands wondering what can be done? New Zealand used to have safe streets. It still is a friendly place, but it seems to have lost the innocence it once had. What has gone wrong?

I thought of one thing the other night. My wife and I had a rare night when both of us could relax on a Saturday night watching TV to enjoy some entertainment. Now we have about 6 main channels we can watch, without going to religious preachers, sports or ethnic shows. We flicked through the channels and on every channel there was a film or show in which violence was a major theme! I got to thinking how common this theme is, even in children's cartoons, super heroes and other seemingly "wholesome" entertainment. I thought too of the various video games advertised or that I can access on my computer if I so desired. Almost all are violent ones where I shoot, or beat up the opposition. Is this a contributing factor to our violent society?

When the New Zealand cricket team was doing really badly a few years ago, people were looking for answers. The batsmen seemed to be losing their wickets by poor shot selection. They made unwise decisions about the balls they would attempt to hit and consequently gave away their wicket cheaply. One elder statesman of New Zealand cricket, who was a superb batsman in his time, had some good advice.  "When the batsmen are practicing in the nets," he said, "they need to practice leaving the ball." He went on to say that if in practice you try to hit every ball bowled, that will be your automatic reaction, your default option when you are playing the game.  "What you practice in your practice sessions will be how you play the game." "In the split second you have to respond when the ball is bowled at you, you will do what you have practiced. If it has been hitting every ball (as many do in the nets) that is what you will do. To have long disciplined innings, you need to practice leaving the ball." I got to thinking. If we spend hours in front of our TV's, video games and computers watching or playing with violence, what is likely to be our default option when relationships get stretched? I wonder whether our mind numbing, mind training menu of violent TV conditions us to respond with violence when the going gets tough? Maybe what we feed our minds on, comes out in our actions? I believe the quantity of violence based TV shows we dumbly sit in front of to be entertained, contributes to the rising rates of violence in our community. 

That is my rant for tonight.

The apostle Paul wrote: "Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise think about (stew on, cogitate on...) these things." Master batsman Glen Tuner said, "What you practice will be your default response."  - I say, feed your minds with the positive, constructive and compassionate perspectives. Do not feed them on violence.

Another contributing factor we don't want to talk about is the way we abuse alcohol. But that will be for another rant. 

Wedding Anniversary.

Today is our 49th Wedding anniversary. I shared that on Facebook and one of my nephews shared some photos that his dad (my wife's brother) took on the day of the wedding.
It is funny, the photos are taken with us standing in the street doorway of the St Andrew Street Church of Christ, Dunedin. I was still a senior plumbing apprentice, working out the hours you had to do before you were made a full certificated plumber. I had done all my exams. On that day, absolutely nobody would have anticipated that later I would have served a 27 year term as minister of that Church! My wife still says when I am grumpy about ministry sometimes, "I married a plumber!" Life takes many strange turns.

Our niece (flower girl) my youngest brother, my mother in law, me and my bride, my father in law and my mum.

The happy couple with Jean's parents, siblings, partners and children.

Repulsed by "Christianity"?

YUCK!
Being a Workplace Support Chaplain I have to attend a meeting from time to time with other chaplains. I am used to being the most "progressive" there - some would say perhaps "spiritually dead liberal". But there was a farewell for a retiring chaplain who I respected, so I felt I had to attend. But I felt repulsed. There was a chaplain there who was sure of his superior spiritual awareness. He talked about various people with an evil spirit about them. He was anti-gay in some of his comments. He had been on an evangelical visit to India, and all Hindus were evil, with some master plan to oust Christianity from India. In fact he despised all other religions other than Christianity. He said words to the effect that the workplaces we go into were places of evil, we had to protect ourselves against that evil. (On the other hand I often say that I don't take God in there, but meet him there among my people.) He seemed to see evil forces everywhere - behind the media, the "system", and even behind the hierarchy of the Presbyterian Church for encouraging him to get some theological training. ("I disagree with the training they dish out anyway. Would the teachers even be truly 'Christian'?" he said. )  He seemed to be an angry man, even when he reported on some positive "wins" -souls saved- over the evil one. I was repulsed. This seemed so much of a distortion of the way of Jesus. It was a weird, superstitious world view.  I visit a brewery, ambulance stations and fire stations. The language in these places can sometimes be pretty off-colour. Sometimes the topics too can be a bit lewd, or what Donald Trump might call "Locker Room talk". (though never, I think, as base as his recorded conversation piece.) But I feel more at home in those places than I felt at this meeting of religious people? This horrible arrogant "who is in and who is out", "who is evil" superstitious distortion of the way of Jesus really upset me. For me it was blasphemy, a disgusting representation of a way of life I hold dear.

I did not know how to deal with it. Should I challenge him? No, I decided it would be a waste of time and destructive of the relationships at the meeting. I ended up trying to change the subject. I have sought over the years to hear him and learn from his journey, but we are so different. There is very little common ground. I recall a man reporting after being at a Presbyterian General Assembly where "the gay clergy thing" was discussed. In his report he commented, "I sometimes thought there were two different faiths being expressed!" I have the same experience. I continue to lead within Church circles. I do so because the Church is where the story of Christ is kept alive. I struggle with some aspects of this journey, but feel that I am making some sort of positive contribution.

 I wonder though, whether Christianity might have a deep split some time soon? Progressive Christians are becoming more organised, establishing connections and presenting confidently and openly a great alternative to the "old style" gospel. Evangelicals, mean time, in the face of uncertainty, seem to be rushing back to a fundamentalism and superstition that gives people some certainty in unsure times. We Christians have basic differences on how we handle scripture, and I wonder when there could be a new and deep split! I hope not, but I long to be able to avoid the feeling of repulsion I got from my "christian colleague's" comments the other day.

A well deserved recognition

Jean in her FED's uniform and new medal.

The Medal with Queen Victoria on it.

The program we had down at the Church on Sunday. Jean initiated, and mostly Jean's work.

Jean with oldest granddaughter, Edith.

Us as a family many years ago - the youngest is now 38.

From left to right- Our oldest child Angela. Pania our foster daughter, and Jean. Angela has many of Jean's traits. 

My wife is Jean. She is a "FED" for St John Ambulance. FED stands for Friend of the Emergency Department. She dons a St John uniform and fronts up at the Dunedin Hospital Emergency Department. There she does supportive chores on a voluntary basis, doing a four hour shift. FEDs will get cups of tea, or sandwiches or soup for patients. Care for the family or friends who are with the patients. Sometimes fluff pillows for patients or chat with them in a supportive way. She has on occasion sat with an elderly dying patient when there are no relatives or friends around. She will collect laundry, find pillows, or move beds or make beds. It is support work in the Emergency Department for both patients and staff. Jean has been doing it for 12, nearly 13 years. She was part of the original team who started the venture at Dunedin Hospital through the Order of St John. For quite a time she did two afternoons a week, and has often been used to train new volunteers. These days they have enough in the team for her to do just one afternoon a week - Thursdays. (that is when I cook the meal) On the 16th March we were invited to the annual St John Awards ceremony. There many people receive awards. I normally go as chaplain but Jean has received a service pin every three years. We went along expecting her, along with others, to receive just a 12 year pin, but when they reached the appropriate part of the program, they said it was to be a 12 year service medal. Apparently you get a medal after 12 years. The medal, they said, was a Queens medal, which is akin to a military medal, and can be worn on occasions when military medals are being worn. So they read out a citation describing her service, and the fact that she had trained others, and she was presented with her medal. I was a proud husband. Recently when she took me into the Emergency Department and doctors and nurses were dealing with me, I saw how they related to her in such a positive way. The FED's in some ways are the bottom of the heap in a very busy department - doctors, nurses, nurse aids then FED's. But Jean seemed to be at home there.

A story: When we were first married we bought a house on a steep street, the steepest street in the world in fact. It had a basement cellar and one Saturday I was trying to light a white petrol blow torch. There was a flash, and white petrol on the concrete floor was burning, and to my horror there was a flame on the top of the tin of white petrol. I made a few panicked attempts to extinguish the fire, but soon thought, "It can't be done! There will be an explosion soon!" I yelled at Jean to get out of the house. She saw my predicament, came down to the cellar. No fire was going to ruin her house! In she went determined to put the fire out. Well that prompted me to man up and have a second, more reasoned attempt, which was successful. That has been the story of our life.  I have often been seen to be the one doing things, but without her, I would not have the impetus and often the courage to do the things we've done.

We have been married nearly 49 years, (we were dating three years before that) so I have seen her incredible ability for work. She was mother to our five children, (two natural born, two adopted and one fostered daughter with severe handicaps.)  She has been a caring nonstop loving mother to all our children, advocate and always keen to communicate and support. I recall meetings with teachers (she once was a teacher) she would sometimes question the poor teacher mercilessly, if she thought her child was getting a bad deal. She has had to advocate, and still advocates endlessly for our foster daughter who suffers from Retts Syndrome.  She often says "I married a plumber!" When I decided to turn my back on plumbing and train for 5 years for Church ministry, she helped finance it and went with me to Australia. Since then she has worked hard supporting me in whatever Church we have been ministering. - There have been stacks of tasks involved in that. In our first Church  every Sunday afternoon we had the Youth group for tea. She has taken a major role in overseeing the catering for 25 Community Christmas Dinners in our last Church. She has been Sunday School teacher, elder, children's worker, caterer, an industrial chaplain, organiser of all sorts of programs (carrying major part of the hard graft of anything she organises) and often, so often talked me around to continue on, in my many dark hours. In retirement this continues. In the local little Presbyterian Church she is on the Parish Council with me, she helps out at a children's music and movement, she helps run our "Rumpus Room" every second Friday night where young people and parents from the community come to spend time. She runs a Tuesday afternoon afternoon tea where parents and kids from the school next door call in to the Church. She is now 70 years old, riddled with arthritus and she still would leave many much younger people for dead in the way she works. I have seen her stick at digging a patch of ground in the vege garden, and just keep on going until it is done. She has herded goats, milked goats, and clipped their hooves. She has helped me butcher hens, sheep and goats, and cut up the meat. She helped out on Habitat for Humanity houses, planned and organised and collected on Night Shelter street appeals. She travelled around the country with me for two years, living in a caravan with four children, having to teach the children on the journey. I am relatively shy, so when the awkward phone call has to be made, or some shop keeper needs challenged, she is the one to do it. When we ran a drop in centre, I have seen her face off with an angry man brandishing a pool stick, and have him back down as she treated him like a disappointed mum. She was better to interrupt any potential fight. She has always been a listening ear for people. On Church councils, she will ask the challenging question, and challenge the notion that "that's the way we always do it" or the "we can't do it" response. She can ask "why" and keep asking it if necessary. Nothing seems to phase her, I have little panic attacks and scream, "I can't do it!" but she just "plods on" working her way through any challenge. AND she has put up with me!

All that to say that as she received her twelve year medal, my mind went back through all the 52 years that we have been an item, and all the efforts she should receive a medal for. She simply is the hardest, most devoted and consistent worker I have ever encountered. I am a proud husband. 

"Ouch...... Bloody leg!"

The words of the title of this post (and sometimes worse expletives) have been heard around our house quite a lot over the last few weeks. I was working around our place doing some carpentry and gardening on Saturday 17th February. I had a tired back, I knew I had been working hard. As I sat on the hard pews in church the next morning, my thoughts wandered from the sermon and I realised I had a sore back, getting more painful by the minute. I had some work to finish in the afternoon but at the end of the day, I went and dangled myself from the rafters in the garage. Then I went for a walk. These two things have always worked whenever I have had a sore back before. But they didn't this time, the pain continued. On the Tuesday night I thought it was easing, but on Wednesday morning I had some real pain in my hamstring and down my left leg. My wife said, "Go to a physiotherapist."  So, ever obedient, off I went. It seemed a little better after she pulled and prodded me, but after driving home all hell broke loose, and next day I ended up in the Emergency Department at the hospital. They checked me out, declared that I had a pinched nerve and it would come right, and gave me powerful painkillers. Since then it continues. Now my foot is numb and I cannot walk far. I had a retired firefighter friend phone me asking me if I wanted to go on a tramp. I would love to have done the tramp he was doing, but there is no way I could do it. I've had further pain pills from my doctor, my physio has poked and proded, and I've been for two swims in the hot physio pool, and enjoyed them, but still little relief. I am getting to feel that this could be a permanent reality for me. I am grumpy, walking was my therapy. Working around home in the vege garden etc. is essential. Pain has a way of dragging you down, especially at night when you are trying to sleep. So I am battling on, but inside a bit scared about what this all means for my future abilities.
But.... Yesterday I drove into town to visit my chaplaincies. I drove past the home of a retired firefighter. He is the one who called me "JC's helper". (See the paragraph headed "The Blog's title") He was mowing his lawn, and looked to be struggling. Since he retired as a fit fire fighter just a few years ago he has had a rough time. His wife's health had been bad for a long time, and I had bumped into them from time to time, at blood clinics and hospital, with her in a wheelchair and him guiding it. They were always cheerful. Then he had a diagnosis of Parkinson's disease and his tremors were quite pronounced. Shortly after that his wife died in front of him at home. As I drove past yesterday, grumpy about my predicament, here he was, a widower, struggling to push his lawn mower, and looking down the barrel of an inevitable decline in his abilities. I thought, "At least I don't have his circumstances to cope with!" I then promised myself to face my setbacks more positively. 

The other day too I talked to a young firefighter whose six year old son has been battling cancer receiving months of tough treatment. He too was being positive. "It'll be a blip on our journey. It has brought us all closer together as a family. We're doing OK." Bravery in the face of challenging uncertain circumstances.

With this wider picture in mind, I have nothing significant to growl about. (I have just had a phone call from the hospital. They want to do an MRI scan on my back this afternoon. It will be good to know exactly what is happening with my spine.) "Carry on David, be hopeful and positive."

Dunedin Night Shelter Newsletter article

Stepping down now. (I hope)
This article appeared in our Dunedin Night Shelter newsletter which came out today.

Dave Brown pauses during roof maintenance at the Night Shelter this past week.

RETIRING CHAIRMAN PROUD TO HAVE HELPED MAKE IT HAPPEN

A MIX-UP with staff rosters a couple of years ago became a graphic example of why the Dunedin Night Shelter Trust is needed and the difference it makes, says retiring Trust chairman and founding member Dave Brown. Fourteen years after the Trust was established, and after six years as its chairman, Mr Brown has stepped down from what has been a demanding and vital role in our city. In 2003, Mr Brown and several others gathered to discuss the need for emergency accommodation. At the time, Mr Brown was the minister at an inner-city church that ran a drop-in centre where many of the city’s more vulnerable people gathered on Friday evenings. A public meeting was organized and 50 people turned up to hear from social workers and others about the need in Dunedin. The Trust was born from that gathering. Mr Brown says two of the key challenges have been convincing people of the need and helping people understand that need. “When we first started collecting on the streets people would say ‘Why do we need a night shelter in Dunedin?’ or ‘They deserve to be homeless’,” Mr Brown recalls. “We have spent many hours talking to groups, convincing people of the need. I have found people are unaware of the changes in society that lead to many people living uncertain and fragile existences. We are often protected by our privilege.” He says the Trust has been very successful in telling its story and helping people understand the need. “Things like the sleep-outs and the publicity surrounding the fundraising to purchase the Shelter helped build a groundswell of awareness and support in Dunedin.” A mix-up a couple of years ago, which meant no Trust staff members turned up to open the Shelter one evening, reinforced for Mr Brown the enormous value of the work of the Trust. “I had a phone call at home, so my wife and I came in an hour or more late to open the shelter,” he says. “An ambulance arrived at the shelter the same time we did. It was a freezing cold winter night and one elderly client had fainted while waiting. “There were six people waiting, the youngest an 18-year-old woman, the oldest a 70-plus-year-old man. “I opened up the shelter, turned on the heater and boiled the jug for a cup of tea for all. The elderly man came right, and others started to warm up. A caring staff member, hearing of the problem came in and began getting meals ready. “As I reflected on the fact that here were six people who for various reasons were out in the cold on a winter’s night in Dunedin, I felt pleased to be able to open the door for them to warm hospitality, food and a bed. “I felt proud to be part of the group who made it all happen.” Mr Brown, who has retired from the Church but still works part-time as a workplace chaplain, is now stepping down from his work with the Trust. But he says there are certainly still needs to be met. “People are moving south hoping to get affordable accommodation in Dunedin. So, while Dunedin does not have the massive homelessness issues other cities have, the problem seems to be drifting south. Our numbers of homeless and vulnerable people are increasing.” (To read the full interview with Dave Brown, detailing how the Dunedin Night Shelter Trust got started, how it developed, what it has achieved, why he is stepping down and what still needs to be done, go to the Trust’s facebook page https://www.facebook.com/DunedinNightShelter/ )

Going against the best of the human spirit.

I have been befriending a duck that visits our paddock. In the last few days she has been parading around with nine new children. My wife calls them my new "grandchildren." Unfortunately I suspect most will not survive. Our neighbour has three hungry cats!

Well done Australia!
Our neighbours in Australia have had a hard time trying to decide whether to allow same-sex marriage to happen there. They had a non-binding costly referendum or plebiscite which is to guide the parliamentarians in their decision over the next week or two. The result was a "Yes" with 61% in favour. So there are celebrations happening among the gay and lesbian community "across the ditch". It surprised me that the vote was not a lot more in favour, though there was a lot of nasty sounding opposition. (Often by "Christian" people.) We in NZ had a sense of superiority over our neighbours because we made the decision in a much more civilised way before them. I was pleased that they made the right decision. In my opinion it is a human right, whatever your sexual orientation to have the freedom to express that love in a marriage relationship. Well done Australia.
But I as a marriage celebrant can't marry them.
I retired from Church ministry in what used to be called the Associated Churches of Christ, (Now Christian Churches New Zealand) at the end of 2013. These days I attend and have some leadership in the local Presbyterian Church. I also work as a workplace chaplain for a brewery, for Dunedin's Fire fighters and also as a chaplain in St John Ambulance. Sometimes I am asked to take weddings, so as a minister, I am still a licensed celebrant through my "parent" denomination. The celebrant's list for next year is going through a renewal process, so I emailed the hierarchy of the denomination to make sure I could still be on the list. They were happy to renew my celebrant status, but drew my attention to a remit passed at the notional conference in 2014. The remit stated that if a CCNZ minister led a same sex marriage then the next year he/she would be deleted off the celebrants' list.  There were a few pages of Biblical background reasoning attached. My celebration of the Australian "yes" vote was short lived, when I realised I was a minister in a denomination which took the opposite point of view. While I was still in ministry I had argued against such a move on theological grounds and also saying that because we are congregationally governed, the national body could not make such an edict.  Because I have a conventional wedding booked for February I will continue for next year to be a celebrant on their list. I am probably unlikely to be asked to do a wedding for a same-sex couple anyway, but the principle matters to me. So I will be reviewing my options for the years following that.
It will be a sad change for me.
I grew up in an Associated Churches of Christ family. I was the fourth generation to be involved in the Church, so my grandmother and parents were proud and involved members. But beyond a family link I chose to continue in the denomination because of the founding principles. Alexander and Thomas Campbell were Presbyterian ministers in the USA in the early 1800's who were distressed about the disunity of the Church, and formed a movement within their denomination to bring about unity. (The Christian Association of Washington) Alexander was an intellectual man who had, for his day, a very modern and progressive understanding of the scriptures. They promoted slogans like "No creed but Christ" and "In essentials - unity. In non-essentials - liberty.  In all things - love."  They promoted a congregational form of Church government and lay-leadership.  Eventually they were deemed too "modern" and thrown out of the Presbyterian Church and joined the Baptists. Because of their emphasis on the priority of the New Testament, they weren't able to stay with them, so became a movement on their own. I liked the Jesus-focused spirit of this movement. When I grew up in the late 50's and 60's we encountered a number of intelligent, fine and impressive men who exhibited in their lives and conversation the same sort of broad Christian spirit and thinking. It seemed like they were, in their generation, following the spirit of the Campbells, which I thought was in tune with the spirit of Jesus. So I was happy to continue to be involved and express my faith through this denomination, even though there was a more conservative element within it. All that to say that if, in time, I decide to resign from being listed as a minister of that movement, it will be a sad move for me. Quite an extensive section of my library is made up of books on the history and thought of this movement. 
The Church often fights against the Spirit.
Not so long after the death of Jesus when Jesus' Way was spreading to the gentiles, a big part of the Jewish Church resented this inclusion and argued against the new inclusiveness the apostle Paul and others were practicing. Paul argues that such an attitude is not in tune with the way of Christ, we are "all one in Christ Jesus our Lord" he wrote. When William Wilberforce and others were wanting to ban the slave trade, or later free the slaves, many times churchmen argued against it, quoting scripture. But the spirit of compassion and solidarity within people won out and slave trade and slavery were outlawed. (Although unfortunately in the world today there seems to be a growing concern over human trafficking.) Again racism was an accepted part of society and people inside and outside the Church, listening to the spirit within, challenged it. In South Africa, America and in other places there were Church people who argued against this spirit, saying racism was divinely ordained. But racism is seen now as an evil, though I suspect it will never be fully stamped out. Again and again when the best spirit in men see a new freedom, a better way forward, often the Church is seen to be using religion to fight against the best "spirit within". In the cause of women's rights and place in society the same thing happened. The best inner spirit in people led people to just know that the status quo was not right, and people inside and outside the Church pushed for change. This battle is not complete, but once again large sections of the Church, quoting scripture resented the change toward a more healthy, equal and whole society.  I believe the same is the case over same-sex marriage. People listening to "the good within" are calling for the freedom for same-sex marriage. It seems to be like a creative "right" people should have and celebrate. But the Church in general is dragging the chain. "The Eternal Spirit" who is love, "the cosmic creativity present everywhere and in everything, gently urging all toward the good" is stirring in our hearts, for a better way forward. But my denomination (and others) is found to be out of tune with the Spirit's directions. I believe "Good will live on, love on and conquer all" and such Churches will be seen to be largely irrelevant cults. They will do the cause of Jesus real harm and I am sad and embarrassed.