Post operation Blues

My nurse friend Malini

The Good News

• I was so impressed with the process of the operation. I got taken into the theatre and got onto the operating table. I had the anesthetist people putting leads in me and on me and giving me a sedative. They performed the epidural which I barely felt. I turned and lay back on the bed with the operating team putting my legs and feet where they should be. I saw them lining up the monitor so the urologists could do his thing but after that I saw and felt nothing. I woke up being wheeled into the recovery room.  There was no pain. There really has been no pain. I felt guilty because one man in my room had quite some pain from his operation. I felt like a fraud. The operation was a painless experience.
• Secondly I really enjoyed the company. After I came out of the recovery room I got put into a room in the ward which had three other guys in it. As I sat in my bed the guy diagonally opposite heard the nurse ask me what I preferred to be called. When she went away he, bandaged with tubes attached looked in my direction and said, "Hi Dave, I'm Merve."  We then introduced ourselves around the room. Merve (early sixties, farmer/freezing works worker) John (about 80 - retired farmer) and Bill (92 - retired farm worker) We talked, joked, laughed, supported one another and generally got on well. The nurses said we were the "worst" room in the ward, but by that I think they meant we were the best.  
• The nurses were wonderful. They all had different personalities but they treated us with respect, care and compassion. They gently asked about our needs. They joked appropriately and went about their tasks in a beautiful manner. There was one nurse aid who threw a good humoured comment at me when we passed her on the way to the theatre. I, of course responded, but every time she came into our room she kept up this good humoured banter. It turned out she lives around the corner from me and remembers my sons attending the local school. She was surprised by the number of visitors I received and said I must be a preacher paying for his church members to visit him. She never did know that I actually was a preacher, though one of my firefighter visitors told her I was known as "Father Ted". I was so impressed with the nurses and their care.
• I appreciated the people who called to see me, rang my wife to see how I was, or texted me. It was humbling to have a wide variety of people genuinely interested. People from the Church, fire fighters, friends in the community and others. I felt really guilty because I had so many visitors compared with my room mates. 

The bad news...

• The bad news is that at this stage it looks like it achieved nothing! I ended up after the operation with a line hydrating me into the back of my hand. I had a tube running into my bladder flushing out the bits they chopped up, the blood and stuff. A catheter out carrying all this stuff away. First they took off the hydrating line. Then this morning they took out the catheter and for the first time in six months I had a normal looking penis, and I could go to the toilet and pee naturally. I almost did a dance for the sense of freedom this gave me. I was hopeful of a good result, that my life could eventually get back to normal. They measured what came out and scanned to see how much was left in. We went through the process several times. The bad news was that I was still retaining too much. They decided they would need to put a catheter back in.
• I asked the urology registrar about it and he told me simply that 10% of patients go home with a catheter and I was one of them - I was told the risks. He said in six weeks they would do a trial removal and see.  He saw my disappointment and said "we'll make it four weeks". I still wanted to go home without a catheter so I asked, "What difference will four weeks make?" He replied "Maybe your urethra will have healed by then." He then went on... ".. meanwhile the nurse will educate you on how to look after a catheter and bag." I nearly jumped down his throat, "I don't need educated. I have worn a catheter for six months and I was hoping this whole exercise would be an end to that." He went away to fill out the paper work.
• I felt reasonably strong in the hospital. After I had a catheter refitted (by an embarrassed young woman med student for whom it was her first experience.- I was nice to her.) I packed my bag, walked to the car and my wife drove me home. By the time I came home I was bleeding out of my catheter, sore from the bumpy ride and feeling very weak and tired. I now know why they said it would take weeks to recover. So as I write I am feeling weak, tired, tender and deeply disappointed. My life has been turned upside down, my usual activities curtailed and my body put through the ringer most probably for no real purpose. ... As Merve said when he shook my hand as I left - "Shit happens!" But in one of my room mates they thought they had found a tumor. He requires further scans and more surgery. Another had just had cancer cut out, had incredible pain and a long road to recovery. So my troubles are not quite so bad. 

I finish with a good story. We have a lovely Indian lady at Church who works in the recovery room at the hospital. While I was waiting for the operation she took time out to check how I was going. In the recovery room she was not allowed to work on me, but she kept looking, waving and smiling. After she finished her shift on both days she called in to check on me and sometimes did things to make my stay easier. Her smile and "Hello Pastor!" brightens any day. (I have never convinced her nor her husband to call me "Dave" ) But the cutest thing she did was this. I was sitting in bed on Tuesday morning and suddenly just before 9 a.m. she appeared. "Hello Pastor!" she said beaming her beautiful smile. "Here! - for you. I'm starting work." She was on her way to work, but she had stopped off and bought me a muffin and a cup of coffee. Smiling she placed these in front of me, waved and disappeared. She is lovely. In the whole experience, though deeply disappointing, I have enjoyed the people I have met. People are good, even if "shit happens."