Back leading a service...

Today I led an Easter service at the local Emmanuel Presbyterian Church. I have fairly liberal ideas about the "Resurrection". I see the Resurrection stories in the Gospels as containing a lot of metaphor for a deep spiritual experience that the grieving disciples had. Because of this I have been a bit stressed out about leading the Easter Sunday service. I worried about the expectations and how I could word things so that I was true to myself and yet not cause too much hassle for lovely Christian people. It was also to be a Presbyterian communion service so I had to work out the intricacies and expectations of a Presbyterian service. I put a lot of work into the service, the prayers, the power points and the sermon. I incorporated two songs which I borrowed off You Tube. This meant that we had to set up TV and sound system. We took everything down to the Church on Saturday to try things out. Packed it up and took it down again this morning.  I would have put about three days of preparation into the service. 
I had very little sleep on Saturday night, and in bed during the night I changed the opening part of the sermon completely.  As I led the service I knew people were intrigued with the technology, my style and my approach.  When I finished I was astounded at the enthusiastic appreciative response from the congregation.  They were simply glowing at the experience of coming to Church. It troubles me. I am very good at it.  I have an ability to make contemporary scholarship understandable and relate it to life.  What is my responsibility? How do I use this gift? In some ways I love the challenge, I enjoy the "art form" involved in crafting a service and the dynamics of presentation.  I feel like with all my learning of the last forty years, my ongoing reading and thinking, alongside the freedom that comes with age, I am at the peek of my abilities in worship leadership. On the other hand, I am deeply aware of the nervous energy involved, the hours of preparation, and big part of me does not want to do it. I want to escape the responsibility. I have been involved in such work for years. And where would I do it anyway? I am just an occasional fill in at the local Church, they have ensconced visiting preachers, there is no space for me.  Every now and then I wonder if I should do some serious writing but that would take incredible discipline.

I share two quotes that relate to Easter Sunday...
"He comes to us as One unknown, without a name, as of old, by a lakeside, He came to those who knew him not. He speaks to us the same words: "Follow thou me!" and sets us to the tasks he has to fulfill in our time. He commands. And to those who obey him, whether they be wise or simple, He will reveal himself in the toils, the conflicts, the sufferings which they shall pass through in His fellowship, and, as an ineffable mystery, they shall learn in their own experience, who he is." - Albert Schweitzer.

A hymn I love...

Lord Of The Dance

Sydney Carter

I danced in the morning when the world was young 
I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun 
I came down from heaven and I danced on the earth 
At Bethlehem I had my birth 

Dance, dance, wherever you may be 
I am the lord of the dance, said he 
And I lead you all, wherever you may be 
And I lead you all in the dance, said he 

I danced for the scribes and the Pharisees 
They wouldn't dance, they wouldn't follow me 
I danced for the fishermen James and John 
They came with me so the dance went on 

Dance, dance, wherever you may be 
I am the lord of the dance, said he 
And I lead you all, wherever you may be 
And I lead you all in the dance, said he 

I danced on the Sabbath and I cured the lame 
The holy people said it was a shame 
They ripped, they stripped, they hung me high 
Left me there on the cross to die 

Dance, dance, wherever you may be 
I am the lord of the dance, said he 
And I lead you all, wherever you may be 
And I lead you all in the dance, said he 

I danced on a Friday when the world turned black 
It's hard to dance with the devil on your back 
They buried my body, they thought I was gone 
But I am the dance, and the dance goes on 

Dance, dance, wherever you may be 
I am the lord of the dance, said he 
And I lead you all, wherever you may be 
And I lead you all in the dance, said he 

They cut me down and I leapt up high 
I am the life that will never, never die 
I'll live in you if you'll live in me 
I am the Lord of the dance, said he 

Dance, dance, wherever you may be 
I am the lord of the dance, said he 
And I lead you all, wherever you may be 
And I lead you all in the dance, said he.

What does it mean for me to be a follower of Jesus with the mixture of gifts I have?