Birthdays

July

In late July it was my wife's birthday. What on earth do you get your wife of 52 years when it comes to celebrating the last birthday you will celebrate with her? I suspect by July next year I will have died of the cancer "we" are battling. What present can you purchase? As I have faced cancer and been in the process of writing and reflecting on my life, I have realised even more that without her I would have been nothing. When we got engaged I was a shy, uncertain teenager. I had thoughts and insights. I had some skills but none that stood out. I was a plumbing apprentice, probably fatefully doing some work with asbestos. She was a student teacher/teacher. Her input has enabled me to develop and be and do the sorts of things nobody would have predicted back then. What lasting gift could I buy? 

I went looking. She is riddled with arthritis now but you would not know it. She just keeps going. She will take on a project and see it through. She will take up a cause or support one of my causes and argue, question and stand up to the strongest of people against her. She will not back off if she believes in something. With her by my side in life I have been empowered to do stuff. I tried to think of some gift that expressed my appreciation of who she is and has been to me in my life? Some gift that would remind her when I am gone of her impact on my life and my deep appreciation and love. Her "strength and determination" amazes and empowers me. I had an inspiration. The Maori fishhook symbol means exactly that! I had given my son one when he left for overseas because he had turned his life around and I was proud of him. So I thought some ornament that depicted that would be good. On several occasions I went looking. There were some available but somehow they looked like cheap stuff, you would buy in a souvenir shop. They were glass or mock greenstone. I decided that I should make one so I purchased some little presents and promised more. In recent times I set about trying to make one. I found an old weathered piece of macrocapa wood I had shoved away years ago under one of my benches. I liked the colour. Then I began to carve something. It was not as good as I had hoped. I was trying to dash out to the workshop and work on it without her seeing it or knowing about it. I did some poker work on it with the words "Strength" and "Determination", but my poker work machine is a cheap toy and it did not work out well.   The wood dried out and split when I planed it. Everything went wrong. I varnished it and realised I should have oiled it instead. The varnish was old, the wrong colour and in the drying process dust stuck to the varnish. I made a base for it and carved two more words - Kia Kaha - which in Maori means "stay strong" - words made famous by the Maori Battalion in World War II. I made an inscription. I "finished" it. It looked rough, certainly cheap, amateurish and I nearly scrapped it to begin again. "She may never get it!" I thought. So I decided to give it to her saying "I mean well". So I put it in a box, sheepishly gave it to her over a month late, apologising for its rough appearance. She looked at it, we hugged and wept, holding each other tight. I think it was good gift! She took it into the lounge and set it up so all could see it. 

September

Just yesterday it was my birthday.  (It is always near or next to Father's day in NZ so I have always got gifts that include both celebrations) We are in a Covid Lockdown situation in New Zealand. There has been a recent outbreak of the delta version of Covid. In spite of criticism from overseas leaders (I suspect jealous ones) and some business leaders, our Prime Minister and leaders decided to "go early and go hard" as soon as one community case was found. (It came in from Australia) So we have been in lockdown and it looks like once again she and her health advisors will be successful. (Where in other countries numbers are going ballistic) So how do you celebrate your last birthday? I am so appreciating the sights and sounds of spring. On my birthday we decided to "go out for lunch". Of course you can't. No restaurant is allowed to operate. But in our local Port Chalmers township a restaurant is offering "click and collect" options, and they do lovely Pizzas. Jean rang them and we collected a lovely pizza, drove around to a bay on the harbour, and sat in the sun enjoying the scenery and talking. In the evening Jean cooked a roast dinner and our daughter and son-in-law came out (They are in our extended "bubble") with more goodies and we talked, ate and drank. I have had phone calls from family.  (We have been given vouchers for travel and accommodation by our children as birthday presents.) I decided that spending time with special people, in nice places was the greatest gift of love at this stage of my life.