Faith today

 Unsettled at Church

Last month, on the first Sunday of the month, the Interim Moderator at our local little Presbyterian Church was to lead the service. (A retired Presbyterian minister who keeps an eye on us) He leads a traditional "Blah" service and I get angry because it feels to me that he does not put the effort into it that he ought. It would not encourage a person to come to Church. We often find a reason to be elsewhere when he is on. But this particular Sunday I talked my wife into going, saying that we ought to support the place even when we do not enjoy it. It was his worst yet! I fumed all day! It seemed to me to be blasphemy! The Church is in a very uncertain predicament. The leaders are getting older and wanting to retire. One important person, the "session Clerk" who has really kept the place together, has really resigned now. (At 86 yrs old!) A group of "experts" are to come in to ascertain whether we should keep going. We are on the outreach committee and even amongst those on this more positive group, there are differences about what we want to do. After the Covid Lockdown the steam seems to have gone out of our plans for reaching out. All this has led me to ask myself, where am I? I would love to have the church keep going, I feel the community needs to have a functioning Christian presence. 

Well this month we decided we would skip his service and go out of town for a couple of nights away. On the Saturday we drove about 1.5 hours north to a town called Oamaru and booked into a motel there. We texted my brother who lives in Waimate, a township 3/4 of an hour north and told him we'd visit for lunch the next day, bringing lunch with us. We found out that his wife had been admitted to hospital in Timaru, a bigger town still further north. On the Sunday then, we drove through to there and spent time with both of them. Walking with my brother on the beach we were surprised by this seal which scampered out of greenery toward the shoreline in front of us.

On Monday we came home because I had been asked if I would operate the sound system and basically host a funeral that was being held in the historic Iona Church which is essentially surplus to our requirements and in the process of restoration. Driving home I was stewing about where I am faith-wise, because I have felt this real disappointment with the Church.  As I drove I thought out two essential statements that rang true for me. I went to the funeral, opened the doors, turned on heating, sorted out sound system requirements and controlled the sound knobs for a nearly two hour funeral conducted by a Baptist Pastor. Going by what he said, I think I'll end up in hell! I locked up and came home. 

 But in my stewing about where I am faith-wise I came up with a short statement…with two parts to it.

 

(A) “God is love, the cosmic creativity present everywhere and in everything gently urging all toward the good.” (The opening sentence of a creed by a guy called Jim Burklo)

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Note: This is not so much a definition of God, but more a way of saying this is how I see/experience God. NOT as an old man in the sky, nor as a puppet master pulling the strings, but a mysterious presence with us and in us. "In him we live and move and have our being." (Acts 17)

 

(B) Jesus, was a man who was so in touch with God and this movement of love that he displayed and taught the essence of what is good - God's essence. He invites us into a fulfilling lifestyle by joining God in that activity. In his day he called it “the Kingdom of God". To "seek first the Kingdom of God” is to ask in every circumstances and relationship, “How can I nudge the world (or more correctly some little part of it) toward the good?” I like to call this experience of "the Kingdom”, “Living in the currents of God’s love.” Jesus' Prayer centred on "Thy will be done, thy kingdom come on earth..."

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Notes..

• The theme of Jesus' teaching and life was this "Kingdom of God" or the "current of God's will and being in the world", "NOT getting to heaven when we die". Realising that opens up the gospels for me.
• The Kingdom was a mysterious growing presence, like that which makes a seed grow, or the mystery of how yeast changes dough when making bread. A dynamic life enhancing flow.
•  When Barak Obama was asked about his faith when he was a senator he replied, "So I have a deep faith. I'm rooted in the Christian Tradition. I believe that there are many paths to the same place, and that is a belief that there is a higher power, a belief that we are connected as a people, that there are values that transcend race or culture, that move us forward, and that there's an obligation for all of us individually as well as collectively to take responsibility to make those values lived out." That rings bells for me.

In simple terms - that sums up where I am. 

The Church? - I struggle with. It deeply distorts the way of Jesus, but it is still the place the Jesus story is kept alive, so I have stuck with it. Among the followers of Jesus, should worship be the focus of the Church? We have played around with different styles of worship and music and people have their preferences, but in my mind that is not "making the Church relevant". Jesus only mentions worship once! The guts of Kingdom living for him was servanthood. I think we need to explore much more how in our communities our Churches and we as individuals become a loving, serving presence. We ought to be saying, not "come to our worship" but rather "how can we be with you in love in life's journey?"

Another favourite perspective

 John 10:10 has Jesus say, I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

Bishop John Spong was once asked, “What is the best verse in the Bible?” His answer… “The text with which I close most of my lectures is from John 10. They are words attributed to Jesus. …. To me, they are so true to who he is. And that's the phrase, ‘I've come that they might have life and have it abundantly.’ The way that I see Christianity is that its role is to enhance the life of every person. My basis of morality is this: does this action enhance life, or does it denigrate life? Does it build up or does it tear down?” 

When Bishop John Shelby Spong would repeat John 10:10 where Jesus says "I have come that you might have life and have it abundantly." he often added a line which interpreted “life abundant”;

"To live fully, love wastefully, and be all that you can be; and dedicate yourself to building a world in which everyone has an opportunity to do the same." 

 

 

 

I am out of step ... but that's where I am in the journey of life.

Eyes glazing over....

When I begin my preparation for each Sunday's service I read and print out the set Bible readings often on a Monday evening. ) Then on the Tuesday, usually as I have a morning cup of coffee, I listen to a couple of podcast discussions I have discovered via Textweek. I often find that some comment or perspective sparks my own thinking on the readings. They are very helpful for starting the creative process. But while I am listening sometimes I find my eyes glazing over and I switch off. Why? These are scholars in their field? Somehow what they are saying doesn't gel.
"Show previous page" button...
I also read various other commentators and writers which the site has links to. Once again I find that for most of them I begin to read then fairly quickly hover over the "show previous page" button and click on that to search for other more "real" resources. Sometimes I begin to think I must be very heathen or heretical because I find so few who gel or ring bells with my understanding of Jesus, faith or spirituality. I do this with traditional commentaries I have in the form of books also. (except I shut the page and return the book to the shelf - sometimes I have been known to throw it in the fire)
Religious meetings and priorities...
I faithfully attend meetings of ministers to be ecumenical and supportive of others, and to receive a sense of collegiality.  We go around the group and share what is going on in our churches, programs and other things of interest.  So often I find myself feeling out of step. The things that excite them are not the things that excite me. It feels like we live in different worlds. I get promotional information about religious conferences and pastors gatherings that are designed to inform, equip and inspire me. I look through the workshop topics and the keynote speaker emphases and I file the leaflets into the WB file. (waste basket) They are not where I am at.
Preachers' libraries....
My childhood minister died a month or so back and his daughter invited me to look through his study and take what books I like.  The study was like hallowed ground and I felt like I was on a pilgrimage. I looked through his precious books and could hear his preaching, conversation and sense his favourite topics. But from a room full of stacked shelves I only chose a few books and some of those because they were historical books about our denominational history I rescued for sentimental/nostalgic reasons.  I look through the books I have collected in my library, and at least half will soon be firewood! I know of other Christians who would lap up the books. Why not me?

Why is it that I being a Church minister find myself out of step with so much "Christian stuff" that others lap up?
"That's why?!" I gained an insight into the reasons as I walked with my "running friend" last Sunday. (For ten years we have run and recently walked together for an hour on most Sunday afternoons) Her career is in education. Recently she went on a brief OE and finished by attending a work related conference in Bangkok. There she had to make a presentation and I asked her how it went. She said it went OK but then commented on the fact that it was very different presenting in an international setting. She works in New Zealand in the field of Education, but, she said that when you are talking in an international setting you realise that the context in which your listeners are working, teaching and exploring can be very different than you are used to and that you assume as you present.  That helped me clarify why I am out of step and it opens up a big subject.  Just as my friend had caught a glimpse of a wider experiences in the field of education, my journey has led me to see "spiritual things" from a wider perspective and catch a glimpse of a broader spirituality. 

From where I sit...
Sometimes when I am listening to the podcasts, which originate in USA, I find myself saying, "That may be true for the religious scene in America, but it is not true here in Dunedin, NZ.  Our issues are different." There can be a cultural divide between the writer's/speaker's issues and priorities and mine. But it runs deeper than that. I think that much Christian writing and thinking is "in-house" stuff. The priorities are to draw and keep people within a subculture called "the Church". My ministers at their meetings are wrapped up with ecclesiastical/ liturgical issues.  But I spend much of my ministry time in secular settings. (An illustration; I overheard a couple of clergy discussing who their ecclesiastical establishments would allow them to marry in the Church - I take weddings in a brewery, on a beach, in a pub! oh and sometimes in church.)  The conferences I am invited to are about geeing up the Church to be a better, bigger religious subculture, and getting more people in and shaped to fit that mould.  For me the boundaries between secular and sacred are blurred, (maybe non-existant) who is "in" and who is "out" is a non-issue and my goal is to see the Church as a means to an end, a tool for service, not an end in itself.  The religious books are discussing esoteric religious subjects which would be great for a religious version of the "Trivia" game, but meaningless for real life. Most Church life, it seems to me, draws people into a sub-culture that makes them feel safe. It sets boundaries, interprets life and gives some sort of meaning in an in-house way. It often is a religious escapism from true engagement with life. The commentaries, podcasts and discussions often interpret scripture from this in-house perspective and are shaped to support the ecclesiastical sub-culture. But I often feel like it would mean diddly-squat down at the "mess" (lunch room) at the fire station! "What the 'f' you talkin' about?" they would say. What the hell do liturgical cliche phrases mean to the seventy people who came to our drop-in on Friday night? I gave one family some financial help to drive to Christchurch to attend their daughter's parole hearing and visit her baby son which she delivered in prison. Another man with few teeth was off to the Night Shelter, he was out of options, had no hope of a job and has constant back pain. Another lives with voices in his head in spite of the fact that he has been declared "healed" by a number of charismatic pastors.  My worker at the brewery who describes life as a "shit sandwich - you are born and you die, and the stuff in-between is just shit" needs more than cliches. Preachers glibly say "God protects, guides and sustains" but what does that mean to the starving family in Zimbabwe, or the Syrian population struggling for justice and being killed for their hopes or the guys just made redundant from Delta in Dunedin! The commentaries interpret in an exclusive, sub-culture endorsing way such words as Jesus' words as reported in John's Gospel; "I am the way, the truth and the life." But I struggle to accept the truth of that exclusive interpretation when I put it beside the life of Mahatma Gandhi, some of the other truly beautiful people of other religions or even some beautiful firefighters with a wholesome, compassionate and wide perspective on life who cannot accept the sub-culture. "God" or the "Sacred" is "bigger" than this in-house thinking. I cannot accept the interpretation that says in effect "that heaven waits for only those who congregate!" and that millions of humans are blind and dead to the sacred in their midst - because they haven't been to Church.  Other ministers sense a call to a particular Church or a Church related ministry, I feel a call to a city. 
What I am saying is that so much Christian thinking is in-house, exclusive, other worldly and that is not where I am at.  For it to ring bells with me it has to ...

• ring true with real life and the real experiences of people. 
• makes sense with the breadth of human experience in this global village that we live in.
• thrust us out into the world to live more fully, better attuned to the needs of others, more compassionate and with a greater willingness to make a difference in the world here and now. 

To most Christian thinking and activity, I want to scream, "Take your blinkers off, your God is too small, and your fences too high."