These are pictures of my "office" where I spent two hours preparing my sermon and getting exercise this afternoon. (Men can do two things at once!) My "boss" provides a pretty well decorated space.
Dunedin, New Zealand, my city - my people
Friday, April 30, 2010
Pictures of my "office".
These are pictures of my "office" where I spent two hours preparing my sermon and getting exercise this afternoon. (Men can do two things at once!) My "boss" provides a pretty well decorated space.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
ANZAC day question?
To take a break from ranting about consumerism.... now about ANZAC day. I need to say that in theory and in principle I am a pacifist. (Though it has never been tested and I admit that I could quite easily slide into using force to combat evil.) I think any war is a civil or family war, brother and sister fighting brother and sister. But that does not stop me honouring our fallen, and past and present service people. As a child I devoured the history of war. (Not just war comics ... though those too.) Winston Churchill was a hero of mine, I read his biography and admired stories of his war time leadership. My Dad served in the artillery in the eighth Army and ended up a Regimental Sargent Major. I still have his medals and the New Testament he carried with him throughout the war. I honour people who, in their time, loved their country, their freedoms and their way of life so much that they saw it as their duty as a citizen to join the army to defend it.... even though I may have questions about the tactic. Such commitment to the common good is laudable.
Secondly I love New Zealand. We have much to be proud of in our history. We sang four verses of the national anthem in Church on Sunday and I always get a catch in my throat when I sing it.
So ANZAC day is OK with me. My beef is with a statement you often hear around ANZAC day. The date of the day is chosen because NZ troops landed in Gallipoli for a long and bloody battle in the Dardanelles. In that action which lasted, I think - eight months, there were 8450 NZ soldiers landed on the beaches there. 2721 of them were killed. 4752 were wounded. (a casualty rate of something like 88%) The whole episode was a badly planned disaster that cost untold lives of allied forces as well as heavy Turk casualties. Not just bullets and shells did the killing, but the cold and disease ... it was a horrible experience for those involved. It was a defeat. Militarily speaking there was no gain in the whole campaign. The best part of the whole operation was the retreat and departure. It went very well with virtually no casualties. My guess is that if it happened in a wartime operation today, there would be an inquiry and "heads would roll" ... My hero Winston was one of the heads.
The statement that irks me is often made by prime ministers, was made by the leader of the opposition on the radio the other night, and by endless journalists and radio announcers. The statement goes something like this: "What happened at ANZAC cove 'made us' (or 'shaped us') as a nation". It seems to be suggested that somehow this military action was a "rite of passage" that caused us somehow to be the nation we are today. How?
How did it "make us" as a nation? How were we "shaped as the nation we are today" by that? Nobody explains that! The cynical side of me says that if we were "made" or "shaped" by a military blood bath, a military disaster and a place where the precious life of men was counted as cheap, and men were treated as cannon fodder, then pity help us!!!
I honour our service people on ANZAC day, the commitment and sacrifice they made. But can any one explain to me why this strange statement is repeated time after time? And just how did such an event "make" us?
Secondly I love New Zealand. We have much to be proud of in our history. We sang four verses of the national anthem in Church on Sunday and I always get a catch in my throat when I sing it.
So ANZAC day is OK with me. My beef is with a statement you often hear around ANZAC day. The date of the day is chosen because NZ troops landed in Gallipoli for a long and bloody battle in the Dardanelles. In that action which lasted, I think - eight months, there were 8450 NZ soldiers landed on the beaches there. 2721 of them were killed. 4752 were wounded. (a casualty rate of something like 88%) The whole episode was a badly planned disaster that cost untold lives of allied forces as well as heavy Turk casualties. Not just bullets and shells did the killing, but the cold and disease ... it was a horrible experience for those involved. It was a defeat. Militarily speaking there was no gain in the whole campaign. The best part of the whole operation was the retreat and departure. It went very well with virtually no casualties. My guess is that if it happened in a wartime operation today, there would be an inquiry and "heads would roll" ... My hero Winston was one of the heads.
The statement that irks me is often made by prime ministers, was made by the leader of the opposition on the radio the other night, and by endless journalists and radio announcers. The statement goes something like this: "What happened at ANZAC cove 'made us' (or 'shaped us') as a nation". It seems to be suggested that somehow this military action was a "rite of passage" that caused us somehow to be the nation we are today. How?
How did it "make us" as a nation? How were we "shaped as the nation we are today" by that? Nobody explains that! The cynical side of me says that if we were "made" or "shaped" by a military blood bath, a military disaster and a place where the precious life of men was counted as cheap, and men were treated as cannon fodder, then pity help us!!!
I honour our service people on ANZAC day, the commitment and sacrifice they made. But can any one explain to me why this strange statement is repeated time after time? And just how did such an event "make" us?
Consumerism II...
I am going to continue ranting about consumer driven society and our over emphasis on economic growth. I see and experience the reality of human misery on lots of fronts because of this and I ache for people I know and others in real poverty overseas exacerbated because it is true that "our greed causes others' need"..
During a winter Thursday night in our church building a year or so ago, we had a workshop happening in the chapel, a ladies group in the hall, another group in a smaller room and an Alcoholics Anonymous group in the upstairs hall. Umpteen heaters and lights were burning and throughout the night I was up and down to the fuse board at least three times. It was simply overloaded. What I (and others) would argue is that at several levels our western society goals, values and lifestyle is overloading the systems in our world. In this post I want to say that the focus on excess spending, status, and "keeping up with the Jones mentality" overloads, and blows family fuses. I quote a from a man who was a counsellor in the Campbell centre in Christchurch;
"In marriage counselling it has become clear to me that western society is a bad place in which to be married. Work takes the creative, energising hours of each day (and lifetime) and couples are expected to build meaningful, durable, romantic relationships at the fag-end of the day when both are exhausted. The question I put to couples early in counselling is "How much meaningful time do you have together?" The operative word is 'meaningful'. Not just both at home or both in the same room, but meaningful. I meet very few couples who come for counselling who can claim even half an hour per week!"
Unfortunately I would have to agree with that. I had a man come to me to ask for help with his marriage. His wife had left him for another guy she had met in her work. I began to ask questions. They had retired from the military on a reasonable income, but were still relatively young. They had a nice house but wanted more. He had two jobs going, one a night time cleaning money making venture. She had a busy day time job. I asked when they got to see one another... and the answer was really just at breakfast before they rushed out the door. Why? Because they wanted more! They were already better off than most! When I worked out the time they had to relate I simply said, "No wonder she went elsewhere!" Fortunately we were able to help them get back together, but I could report from my experience of couple after couple where a driveness for more money has slowly but surely driven a wedge into their relationship. I led a group once in a rural area about family life and a middle aged couple in the group told us their story. He had developed skills that were wanted by farmers around him. He formed a company that grew and kept growing. He was extremely successful, and she had a wee retail business. But a child's difficulties suddenly made them realise that they had essentially stopped relating. With tears in their eyes they told how they collapsed into bed each night for a few hours sleep, but they had essentially become strangers. They could no longer talk. They dropped everything and went away for a week, to re-evaluate their lifestyle, and came through with different goals. But they earnestly warned the other couples in the group about how easily you can unintentionally ruin family life by misplaced priorities. Busyness in the hunger for more, often means couples' relationship stagnates. Sometimes at some stage they have blown apart, at other times they have continued to exist in a sham of a marriage, both lonely and hurting deeply, but outwardly holding together and looking "successful".
I could report of many wider families who have been blown apart over greed for money. Some perceived unfairness in family dealings or some greed over family possessions. I once went to visit a family where elderly dad had just died and was still "warm" in the bedroom. I went into the lounge and was comforting or listening to his widow tell their story. It was a difficult job, however, because adult children were already arguing loudly about their inheritance in the kitchen!
We overload important relationships, destroying them often because our society's values encourage us to put relationships in second place or as less important than wealth. Our measure of "success" in life is often related to "how much" we own, rather than the wholeness of our being or the health of our relationships.
We even overload our own health and well being. The extensive use of tranquilizers, anxiety related health problems, self-medication on drugs or alcohol and the common feeling that you are trapped in a rat race that you cannot opt out of are indicators that all is not right in the way we live and the goals we follow.
I have seen too much happiness, too much health and too many relationships sacrificed to the god of the dollar. There has to be a more balanced way of living.
During a winter Thursday night in our church building a year or so ago, we had a workshop happening in the chapel, a ladies group in the hall, another group in a smaller room and an Alcoholics Anonymous group in the upstairs hall. Umpteen heaters and lights were burning and throughout the night I was up and down to the fuse board at least three times. It was simply overloaded. What I (and others) would argue is that at several levels our western society goals, values and lifestyle is overloading the systems in our world. In this post I want to say that the focus on excess spending, status, and "keeping up with the Jones mentality" overloads, and blows family fuses. I quote a from a man who was a counsellor in the Campbell centre in Christchurch;
"In marriage counselling it has become clear to me that western society is a bad place in which to be married. Work takes the creative, energising hours of each day (and lifetime) and couples are expected to build meaningful, durable, romantic relationships at the fag-end of the day when both are exhausted. The question I put to couples early in counselling is "How much meaningful time do you have together?" The operative word is 'meaningful'. Not just both at home or both in the same room, but meaningful. I meet very few couples who come for counselling who can claim even half an hour per week!"
Unfortunately I would have to agree with that. I had a man come to me to ask for help with his marriage. His wife had left him for another guy she had met in her work. I began to ask questions. They had retired from the military on a reasonable income, but were still relatively young. They had a nice house but wanted more. He had two jobs going, one a night time cleaning money making venture. She had a busy day time job. I asked when they got to see one another... and the answer was really just at breakfast before they rushed out the door. Why? Because they wanted more! They were already better off than most! When I worked out the time they had to relate I simply said, "No wonder she went elsewhere!" Fortunately we were able to help them get back together, but I could report from my experience of couple after couple where a driveness for more money has slowly but surely driven a wedge into their relationship. I led a group once in a rural area about family life and a middle aged couple in the group told us their story. He had developed skills that were wanted by farmers around him. He formed a company that grew and kept growing. He was extremely successful, and she had a wee retail business. But a child's difficulties suddenly made them realise that they had essentially stopped relating. With tears in their eyes they told how they collapsed into bed each night for a few hours sleep, but they had essentially become strangers. They could no longer talk. They dropped everything and went away for a week, to re-evaluate their lifestyle, and came through with different goals. But they earnestly warned the other couples in the group about how easily you can unintentionally ruin family life by misplaced priorities. Busyness in the hunger for more, often means couples' relationship stagnates. Sometimes at some stage they have blown apart, at other times they have continued to exist in a sham of a marriage, both lonely and hurting deeply, but outwardly holding together and looking "successful".
I could report of many wider families who have been blown apart over greed for money. Some perceived unfairness in family dealings or some greed over family possessions. I once went to visit a family where elderly dad had just died and was still "warm" in the bedroom. I went into the lounge and was comforting or listening to his widow tell their story. It was a difficult job, however, because adult children were already arguing loudly about their inheritance in the kitchen!
We overload important relationships, destroying them often because our society's values encourage us to put relationships in second place or as less important than wealth. Our measure of "success" in life is often related to "how much" we own, rather than the wholeness of our being or the health of our relationships.
We even overload our own health and well being. The extensive use of tranquilizers, anxiety related health problems, self-medication on drugs or alcohol and the common feeling that you are trapped in a rat race that you cannot opt out of are indicators that all is not right in the way we live and the goals we follow.
I have seen too much happiness, too much health and too many relationships sacrificed to the god of the dollar. There has to be a more balanced way of living.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Consummerism...
Delving into my notes and quotes about "Living light" (or living simply) I came across this quotation from Erich Fromm in a book called "The art of Loving". Fromm was an American psychoanalyst. I think he is so right in this description of how we often are in today's western society. He writes....
"Having fun lies in the satisfaction of consuming and 'taking in' commodities, sights, food, drinks, cigarettes, people, lectures, books, movies- are all consumed, swallowed. The world is one great object for our appetite, a big apple, a big bottle, a big breast; we are the sucklers, the eternally expectant ones, the hopeful ones - and the eternally disappointed ones. Our character is geared to exchange and to receive, to barter and consume; everything, spiritual as well as material objects, become an object of exchange and of consumption."
As a minister who gets trapped into trying to please various people's tastes in worship I have often been frustrated at how this consumerism in our attitudes impacts even our church going. It impacts on how we relate in families, in our work and in our friendships. They too become places where "barter, consumption and exchange" attitudes cause us to treat each other as "objects".
The other difficulty for someone like me who is trying to communicate the way of Jesus in this sort of society is that His "way" is virtually directly the opposite of these common cultural values and attitudes. I am (stupidly) trying to call people to follow one who said such things as;
"If you love only the people who love you, why should you receive a blessing? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good to those who do good to you, why should you receive a blessing? Even sinners do that! And if you lend only to those from whom you hope to get it back, why should you receive a blessing? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount! No! Love your enemies and do good to them; lend and expect nothing back. You will then be children of the most high God. For he is good to the ungrateful and the wicked. Be merciful just as your Father is merciful."
We could quote many other texts that say similar things. Jesus is the one who told one rich man to sell what he had and give to the poor. Jesus himself lived a giving lifestyle, with generous attitudes, (too generous for his enemies liking) which led to conflict and death. He gave his all and called us to a self-giving lifestyle. These ideals and the life of Jesus challenge the very values at the heart of our society. It is so hard to swim against the tide. Historically the church has found this difficult. We have changed the religion to make it focus on the reward of heaven. We have altered its emphasis from lifestyle to belief, doctrines and such. Or we have turned our churches into a commodity that we market. By doing these things we have been shaped by the world around us rather than the Spirit of Jesus. It seems the pragmatic thing to do and we slide into the ways our culture. It is hard too for we who try to communicate this emphasis, because we too have been shaped by our culture and find it too easy to go with the flow, rather than challenge these deeply entrenched values. Jesus in his teaching makes it plain that the God he calls us to follow, the ultimate spirit or movement at the heart of the universe is ridiculously, lovingly generous! If we are in tune with that life force we'll catch the same "gene".
The positive point that Jesus himself struggled to communicate is that ultimately these consumerism values bring wasted living, emptiness and destruction to our life and relationships and do not bring fulfillment and wholeness. They are unhealthy. In Fromm's terms we will be "eternally disappointed". He was no kill joy, he just wanted us to experience a fullness and depth in our living. He invited us to a way of life that is free from the downward pull of such attitudes.
My final comment is that I have sat at the death bed of a number of people. The ones I find who are able to die peacefully are those who have invested themselves in love and in people. Those who have prized material goods and consumerism, have a deep emptiness because "they can't take it with them".
"Having fun lies in the satisfaction of consuming and 'taking in' commodities, sights, food, drinks, cigarettes, people, lectures, books, movies- are all consumed, swallowed. The world is one great object for our appetite, a big apple, a big bottle, a big breast; we are the sucklers, the eternally expectant ones, the hopeful ones - and the eternally disappointed ones. Our character is geared to exchange and to receive, to barter and consume; everything, spiritual as well as material objects, become an object of exchange and of consumption."
As a minister who gets trapped into trying to please various people's tastes in worship I have often been frustrated at how this consumerism in our attitudes impacts even our church going. It impacts on how we relate in families, in our work and in our friendships. They too become places where "barter, consumption and exchange" attitudes cause us to treat each other as "objects".
The other difficulty for someone like me who is trying to communicate the way of Jesus in this sort of society is that His "way" is virtually directly the opposite of these common cultural values and attitudes. I am (stupidly) trying to call people to follow one who said such things as;
"If you love only the people who love you, why should you receive a blessing? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good to those who do good to you, why should you receive a blessing? Even sinners do that! And if you lend only to those from whom you hope to get it back, why should you receive a blessing? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount! No! Love your enemies and do good to them; lend and expect nothing back. You will then be children of the most high God. For he is good to the ungrateful and the wicked. Be merciful just as your Father is merciful."
We could quote many other texts that say similar things. Jesus is the one who told one rich man to sell what he had and give to the poor. Jesus himself lived a giving lifestyle, with generous attitudes, (too generous for his enemies liking) which led to conflict and death. He gave his all and called us to a self-giving lifestyle. These ideals and the life of Jesus challenge the very values at the heart of our society. It is so hard to swim against the tide. Historically the church has found this difficult. We have changed the religion to make it focus on the reward of heaven. We have altered its emphasis from lifestyle to belief, doctrines and such. Or we have turned our churches into a commodity that we market. By doing these things we have been shaped by the world around us rather than the Spirit of Jesus. It seems the pragmatic thing to do and we slide into the ways our culture. It is hard too for we who try to communicate this emphasis, because we too have been shaped by our culture and find it too easy to go with the flow, rather than challenge these deeply entrenched values. Jesus in his teaching makes it plain that the God he calls us to follow, the ultimate spirit or movement at the heart of the universe is ridiculously, lovingly generous! If we are in tune with that life force we'll catch the same "gene".
The positive point that Jesus himself struggled to communicate is that ultimately these consumerism values bring wasted living, emptiness and destruction to our life and relationships and do not bring fulfillment and wholeness. They are unhealthy. In Fromm's terms we will be "eternally disappointed". He was no kill joy, he just wanted us to experience a fullness and depth in our living. He invited us to a way of life that is free from the downward pull of such attitudes.
My final comment is that I have sat at the death bed of a number of people. The ones I find who are able to die peacefully are those who have invested themselves in love and in people. Those who have prized material goods and consumerism, have a deep emptiness because "they can't take it with them".
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Good vibes
Returning home.
In 1981 in just about my last service in my Palmerston North ministry, we had a whole pile of visiting Australian young people who were in NZ for a Youth Convention. I led the service on the theme of "Traveling Light". I had become convinced that we in the western world travel with too much baggage and make too much of an impact on the world we live in. For the next few years we explored this whole area of living. As a field worker I ran groups on "Living Light". We in our lifestyle lived for a while a self-sufficient "Good-life" lifestyle. I believed this was important. Years ago I read a book by John V Taylor called "Enough is Enough" and became a convert long before these things were more fashionable. When I explored it in groups at the beginning of this ministry I recall it being rubbished by various people. I have generally shut up about it, though we have continued to try to live something of a simple lifestyle, seeking to live generously and aware of our impact on the planet.
We have been getting to know a woman who is running "Sustainable Living" courses in our Church building. Her name is Maureen and we enjoy her passion, have learned from her and been reminded of things we used to be more vocal about years ago. Last week she led our "Conversation Group" on the subject of "Voluntary Simplicity". Afterward I dug into my file cabinet and found the outline of courses I used to run on the subject and a folder full of notes, articles and quotes. I will share something of these in future posts. It is interesting that this is once again emerging in my life.
On Saturday Maureen was hosting a workshop in our Church's Space2B area on "Bikes and Sustainability." People brought their different bikes in. I felt I should be there to act as local host setting up and making sure people felt at home. I cycled in and my rusty old bike joined the others. I learned about various electric assist bikes, cargo bikes and bikes and trailers made from other people's thrown out stuff. But much more than that I enjoyed the people.
There were all sorts of people there. University professors and graduates. Young people and older people. People from overseas and good old Kiwis. But they had passion! They lived their life mindful of the impact they were having on the environment! They were passionate about justice! They were anti-consumerism and yet very much fun and full of life and appreciation of life! I don't know, but my guess is that while most of them may have started in Christian homes, they had now outgrown their religion. But they were concerned that their lifestyle was ethical in its impact. They had wide circles of concern. They were global citizens. For me it felt like I was coming home. I was, for once, among people I could feel at home among. I was not the oddball on a different wave length like I feel in most circles. I was so so pleased that these people were making themselves at home in my church building and that we were encouraging them in their journey. I did wonder why the average "Christian" would find themselves not on their wave length? To me their attitudes were a natural implication of the way of Jesus and faith in the God Jesus portrayed. I was rapt when one young man who works with young people in this whole area, asked if he could use our church building as a base. We will make it happen. It is feeling like my life has come in a circle and I can be freer to express myself in these areas again.
"Community Development"?
On Friday I had reason to meet a woman I knew years ago. She had taught a series of sessions in a Social and Community work course I took in 1994. Now she is linked with University Social work courses. As we talked, prior to my reminding her where we had met before, she said, "You have been doing 'community development' in different ways in Dunedin for years haven't you?" I responded that, yes.. I had been around for a while. She said, "It seems like I am constantly coming across your name and your activities." I guess I had never categorised my work as "community development". I was trying to communicate to her what Space2B was all about and it helped focus it in my mind. I said that I was wanting Space2B to be a hub or centre for "life enhancing activities" to take place. I wanted life enhancing groups to feel they can attach themselves to us and we can help resource them. I was pleased with her positive feedback.
At the end of this week I am more positive that Space2B is going to be a success and a very relevant community orientated expression of the church. Funny when last week I wanted to chuck it all in. I am weird!
Photos: Bikes in Church.
and a heavy cloud formation from the top of "my" mountain during a lovely walk this afternoon.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
One of those days...
I had one of those days today. No I am not going to grump again. It was a very busy day, not enough hours or energy in it, but with a good measure of success in it.
- Because our log burner had not been performing lately I got up, had breakfast and before I went into the office I swept the chimney. The roof was a bit slippery with the dew, but the log burner is functioning well tonight.
- After a quick shower, I ventured into the office, checked emails etc. had a cup of coffee (beautifully brewed I must say) then went to my latest chaplaincy, the one I have been struggling to feel at home in. I had a good couple of hours. Had meaningful conversations with a number of people I had not shared with before and ventured into the television station area. I explained to the manager there that someone had told me not to call there in my afternoon visits, but he reassured me, telling me to call any time, "You are one of the family, feel welcome to come in." I got to stand in a studio as they prepared for a programme. It was a heart warming visit.
- Over lunch in Space 2B something good happened. It is my dream for Space2B to be a centre where all sorts of things happen. We have a Settlement Resource program running and making great strides, centred on Wednesday lunch times. New settlers are being assisted. My dream is for different groups, positive life enhancing movements and community projects to attach themselves to Space2B and operate from our church community base. Or that Space2B will facilitate the formation of groups doing life enhancing stuff in the community. A woman we have got to know and appreciate runs sustainability programs for the city council, using our church building. We have used her for a Space2B workshop and I had floated the idea of a Sustainability centre based at Space2B. Her and I had emailed back and forth about this around Christmas/New Year, but neither of us had moved on about it. I felt I did not want to push her into something she may not want to do. Well while I was eating my lunch she came in and in her lilting Irish voice said, "Now David, we have to talk about an environment centre." I said "Yes, let's!" and we began to plan for a beginning in September, focusing on Thursday lunch times, building in other workshops and resources. My dream is evolving as I had hoped! Watch this space! "Sustainable Living Hub @ Space2B" is emerging!
- We lost a pianist last year with the young Korean lady who used to play for us moving overseas. Today I think I have finalised things with a replacement.
- I finished the day with a 5.5k run. It was a nice night for running. I have to admit that it was harder than I thought and every other runner was faster than me, (I am sure they were half my age though) but it is good to get a mid week run in.
Photo: The log burner operating as it should... the first success of the day.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
A minister/chaplain, forgetting the basics.
I have been convicted today. Not by a some law official or court judge, but by an inner "voice".
At lunch time I was sitting in our Space2B area at the back of the church having my lunch. There was a group of people around me in easy chairs with several conversations going on about me. I was talking to a woman beside me, genuinely interested in her.... but during one of her answers I was distracted by something that was said in another conversation across the coffee table. I pulled myself up, and thought, "How rude... I didn't catch the last part of her sentence! I was not listening respectfully!" ... I struggled there because I tried, as a minister to keep an eye on the movement and flow of the conversations. I was worried that these people, some of whom were strangers to each other, were feeling included, or were not being put off by others etc etc. But that "professional" concern meant that I was not as attentive in the one-on-one conversation as I should have been.... and those one-on-one conversations matter. By my inattentiveness I could be communicating, "You don't matter! You are insignificant!" I certainly would not want to do that.
I went from there around to one of my chaplaincy sites, the latest one I have taken on. On the way I bumped into a man from another chaplaincy. We got talking and we had a short, but meaningful conversation. We have a warm relationship toward each other, are relaxed together and conversation flows freely along with humour. When he learned where I was headed, he asked about how it was going. So we talked briefly about that.
When I got to my chaplaincy site I started talking to the workers there. It is my new chaplaincy, so I am all worried about how I am doing. Will I make a success of it? Will they accept me? How can I break through to these people? As I was talking and relating, in my mind I was comparing my conversation with the one I had just had in the street. It was then that I was convicted. Both conversations were with chaplaincy "clients", but I was different. In the one in the street, I was relaxed about me and concentrating on the other. I suddenly realised that, in the new chaplaincy site I was too much worried about me! As I conversed, I was all of the time wondering about my performance. I was trying to calculate whether I was being a "good chaplain", what sort of impression I was making and if I was being accepted. I should have been just purely and simply interested in the other person, attending genuinely to them and "there" for and with them. It is one of those things where you are a good chaplain if you forget about being a good chaplain, stop worrying about yourself, and focus on and attend to the people before you. Jesus said, "If you lose yourself you find yourself." ... well something like that. The inner conviction I had was, "stop worrying about yourself, and love the people you are there for." (This is true of so many things in relationships... for example in the marriage relationship it changes "having sex" into "making love" and deepens the whole experience.)
I know it is right.... just got to practice it. "Lord give me the freedom from a self absorption, so that I can truly be a channel of your love."
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