Dunedin, New Zealand, my city - my people

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Men's experience.. "agh...awe"

I read this on the internet, and use it to bounce off to write about men’s experience of sexuality.
British Nobel Prize-winning scientist Tim Hunt has resigned from his post at University College London over controversial comments he made about female scientists.
"Let me tell you about my trouble with girls," he was reported as saying in South Korea.
"Three things happen when they are in the lab: you fall in love with them, they fall in love with you, and when you criticise them they cry."
The 72-year-old also called himself a "chauvinist pig". Speaking to BBC radio on Wednesday, he admitted making the comments but added: "I'm really sorry that I said what I said. It was a very stupid thing to do.  "What was intended as a sort of light-hearted, ironic comment was apparently interpreted deadly seriously."
He said somewhere that he was just being honest. I sympathise a little bit. I do not know anything much about how a woman experiences sexuality but share a little about men.
It is physical!
As a teenage plumbing apprentice I once worked with an Australian plumber in his thirties. As he rubbed his chest I remember him saying something like, “I need sex! My tits get itchy if I haven’t had sex for a while. I hope the wife wants it tonight!”  Now I have not ever had that problem, but in my experience there is a physical “urgency” that happens. You react more to sexual stimuli when you haven’t had it. You can be driving down the road and glimpse a good looking girl, and there is a reaction within you. If you glimpsed the same girl the morning after a fine evening with your wife, you may not react at all. It is physical. It does not make me a lecherous male chauvinist pig, it is a physical automatic reaction that I suspect red blooded males have.
Then there’s the “agh ..awe” reaction.
I cannot spell this sound. It is a gutteral, grunt of appreciation that men make, accompanied by a rush of blood. Most times, if they are polite, men will not utter it out loud, but it happens “inside” all the same.  Again, it is an involuntary reaction. Here are a few incidents.
* I was standing having a beer with some firefighters at a function in the social hall at the fire station. Two women dressed to kill, (they were “hot”) walked in. My three companions let out an “agh…awe", though not really loud.  "Inside" I did the same… but I’m the chaplain. It is an almost physical involuntary reaction. (To me the measure of whether I am a “dirty old man” is what happens after that – do I dwell on it?)
* I was at a family open air wedding, standing next to a cousin. I had never met the bride and in due course she arrived and started walking up the isle. She looked..... gorgeous! Next second I heard my cousin say, "Agh...awe!" I had to stifle a laugh and about then my wife's elbow hit my ribs.
* I was at my old church chatting after the Church service. We were getting ready to leave because the Korean congregation that worshipped after us was arriving. A friend from our drop-in and I were walking through a door and pushed the door into this young Korean woman who was about to come the other way. She was coming to Church but once again, she looked “hot” – short figure-hugging dress, high heels and lowish top. At first glimpse we both went, “agh…awe!” … but mine was in my head, my drop-in friend, however, came out with this guttural grunt. (It was cut short by my elbow in his ribs.) As we moved away, I said to him, “Keep it inside!” … “But.. but you saw her too, she was hot!” he responded. “But you don’t need to comment.” I scolded. “Its alright for you, you're old and you're married.” 
This “agh… awe.” reaction happens unsolicited. An unintentional glimpse of cleavage - A skirt opens up and you catch a flash of thigh - A woman with a nice butt bends over in front of you - Some stranger in front of you in a queue flicks her hair and a shapely neck is exposed..etc.  … just a glimpse as you are walking by will create this involuntary “agh… awe” reaction. You are not out there perving, it just happens. It is involuntary.
I have been missing my “agh…awe”
Because I am getting older, and because I have had various “men’s” health issues over the last couple of years, I have not experienced this urgent “agh…awe” reaction. Don’t get me wrong, my wife and I have been “sexually active” over this time but the urgency, the “agh…awe” was not there. I have been working on walking and getting fitter. I feel better because of this. I was out having my walk the other day and I heard the patter of feet behind me. A girl runner came past. I looked at her style and felt jealous that she was running and I was walking, she was fit and loping, I was just walking. I was green with envy.  But then I saw it. She had those black tights on... there in front of me was the most gorgeous butt I have seen since the blonde girl in ABBA. “Agh…awe.” I said. (inside)  And then I smiled. I must be more healthy, I have got my “agh…awe” back. 

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