The week in revue...

Stupid flu bug!

During the week I struggled with a flu bug. I am nearly back to full health now, but it does make you appreciate your health. I took some time off at different times during the week, skipped a night meeting, and stopped work one day for a quiet walk in the sun.

Where did that come from? 

Last Monday as I sat in my bed trying to get some rest to get over the bug, I reread the set reading for today's service. The story of a rich man's encounter with Jesus.  "Good grief, I don't want to preach on that!" None of the other non-gospel readings rang bells either and no other topical thing came to mind. I decided that I would go ahead with the reading about the rich man. One reason I follow the set readings is that it forces me to tackle the difficult issues. But ... It is so difficult in our very materialistic, consumer orientated, rich, individualistic society that it feels impossible to communicate the concepts in that passage. I read up various writers and their perspectives... still nothing bounced out at me. I chose possible songs for the service, still unsure what I was going to do. Lots of scribbling of possible outlines... but nothing gelled or jumped up at me and said, "Say this!". .... then out of the blue as I was driving home along the Port Chalmers highway in my noisy old van, ding.... ding... ding.. the outline that I MUST speak bounced into my mind, and the content and flow of the service followed. Where did that come from? Friday morning I went in half an hour early to the office and the creative juices just flowed, as I frantically scribbled out the sermon in virtually the final "draft". Saturday night the power point slides evolved and the polishing points came as I walked around the house "preaching". And in all modesty, I must say I was on fire this morning! I had them on the edges of their seats. Where does it come from? The subconscious? God's spirit or a mixture of both? Or is "God" in the subconscious and emerging into the conscious mind. It is a great thrill to be a part of such a process. ... still don't know if I was "heard", but I said what I just HAD to say. Someone said, "That was a good message... a bit disturbing though!" 

Batching...

My wife is away for a week. She left on Friday afternoon. There are some advantages being alone. I went to sleep listening to the radio! I slept diagonally across the bed. I turned the light on in the hall when I had to go. This morning I made my porridge. (She had left instructions) but as I put my toast in the toaster my eyes spotted fresh eggs from the hen run. On a whim... microwave egg on toast after porridge. I have had a big steak dinner tonight, heaps of onion, fried French bread (just to help clog my veins and clean the frying pan) all washed down with a nice cold beer. I have a Beatles CD playing loud on the stereo...."Love love me do!" "She loves you yeah yeah yeah..." etc etc... and I danced around the lounge with the cat looking at me in a strange way, partly terrified at this turn of events. Now, I need to say my wife is very amicable, she is not a nasty bossy woman, but just because you don't have to consider anyone else there is a certain freedom when you're batching. It has some advantages...  Don't tell her I said that.

But.... As I opened up at the drop-in centre on Friday night I suddenly felt vulnerable. We have a variety of people at the drop-in with various mental health problems. Most often it is a peaceful place but sometimes things can flare up. Sometimes a fight or barny can slowly develop and suddenly you need to deal with it. We have some good helpers, but none that I connect with like Jean. We have been running the drop-in for 13-14 years together. I can glance at her and she reads my mind. I know she is behind me when the going gets tough and she has the strength to deal with it. I know she is seeing things I can't see, and we can signal each other with just a nod. Without her there watching my back, I felt vulnerable. I was boss at Habitat for Humanity yesterday and again there was the same feeling. Often she will be there if I needed support or just someone to sound off to. She will be filling gaps in what I should have said in my instructions to people and seeing if they have heard etc etc. As I opened up for the church service today, I was aware that she was normally busy filling the gaps of things that needed to be seen to before church. .. its this unseen partnership I miss. I recall a film on the Alamo when I was very young. Davy Crockett (my hero) and his friend... was it George Bowie? ... fought to the bitter end. Back to back they shot the Mexicans until they were both killed. I think it was the first time I heard the phrase, "I've got your back." I guess that's the nature of marriage if its working as it should be. There is someone who "has your back". There with you in life's adventures and there to support, give feedback, hear trivia etc etc. Someone who will tell you for example if your fly is down. That's the disadvantage of being single... I miss that often unseen partnership. 

But I loved my steak, onions, French bread and beer...... but I'll have to clean the kitchen before next Sunday! The CD has stopped... now for some loud raunchy country and western music I think.