Count the cost???

I find it very difficult to communicate the way of Jesus honestly. There is no doubt that to live the lifestyle Jesus calls us to live involves a cost. We end up going out of our comfort zones to help someone, like in the story of the good Samaritan. Because we care as Jesus does, a lot of our otherwise free time is taken up doing things for others. We want to live generously as Jesus called us to live, and we find we don't have as much disposable income as we could have. And I could go on... the Jesus lifestyle costs because you care.

There were two readings set for last Sunday. The story of Jesus' call to Peter. The second was Paul's Damascus Road experience and how he changed from persecuting the Christians to preaching about Christ. They were two celebratory "resurrection" stories. But... in John's Gospel there was the warning about how Peter was going to die for his faith. In the book of Acts story the Spirit of Jesus was going to show Paul "how much he was going to suffer". Who wants to buy into that kind of lifestyle?

I told you in my last post that I had been trying to ring Bunnings Warehouse to apply for an easier job. It would be so nice to have just one boss.... To be able to knock off at 5, or whatever, and know you didn't have to work at night.... To have two days off in a row each week.... To not have service preparation and standing in front of people speaking hanging over your head all the time. ...To not have sleepless Saturday nights.... To be able to stay at family and friends' Saturday night celebrations till late..... To not feel the inner fear of mucking up someone's funeral or wedding. ...To not struggle trying to please a whole raft of tastes in music, worship styles and expectations..... To not have to choose songs for an organ to play. Well... today I got offered the possibility of such a job! An interview with an H R person from a company who would be interested in having me on board. A simpler job. A job with time limitations. It does not have five different workplaces. If I worked 60 hours a week I'd be paid for them. In the words from "My Fair Lady" song, "Oh wouldn't it be lovely!" From a selfish point of view, it's a no-brainer... I should go for it. Most people when offered the choice of the stressful "ministry/chaplaincy job", verses the other on offer, at my age and stage, would not consider being a minister/chaplain. ... Then why do I find myself hesitating?

Jesus is reported to have said, "Take up your cross and follow me." I have had someone say to me, "How is that attractive for my kids?" It costs! Why do it?

Three reasons have emerged when I have stewed on it as I have gone about today. (Damn them!)

• Anything that is really worth doing, costs. I hope to do a half-marathon later in the year. Because of that my legs are aching now. Because of that yesterday I went out in a stupidly high and cold wind and ran 9k at 61 years of age. I will do that a few times a week for the next four months. But when I lie on the grass after the half-marathon, dry, aching and probably verging on cramp, I will be in bliss. Anything worth doing costs. Any truly fulfilling goal costs. That is true about the Christian way of life. To know that fulfillment, you need to invest the energy, life and soul. But it is so good to have something worth investing in. Something worth living for, giving yourself to and ideals that are high that call out the best you have to give.
• You are making a difference. Abraham Lincoln is reported to have said something like; "Let it be said when I am gone, that all my life I have tried to pluck a thistle and plant a flower wherever I thought a flower would grow in thought and mind". When I know that it is getting close to my last breath I would like to be able to have the fulfillment of looking back on my life and be able to say, "I came and I went, and I know this old world is a slightly better place because I was."
• It is the authentic lifestyle. Some people will do a bungy jump and say, "For those few seconds I felt really alive!" Others will find that "aliveness" in climbing a mountain. Music entertainers tell of that sense of "aliveness" when they are in the midst of a concert performance. I have found that when I am reaching out to help bring acceptance, wholeness, affirmation and fulfillment to people I feel a deep sense of "this is really living, it's what life is all about". Paul wrote we can be all and do all, "but if we have not got love we are nothing..."

... but just maybe I could do all that and still work at this new possible job? Please let it be so? :-) From another musical (Fiddler on the Roof) "Would it spoil some vast eternal plan... " if I weren't a minister? ... maybe?.... but...

I finish with another two Abe Lincoln Quotes that have some bearing on my dilemma:

"I desire so to conduct the affairs of this administration that if at the end, when I come to lay down the reins of power, I have lost every other friend on earth, I shall at least have one friend left, and that friend shall be down inside me." I guess that means I have to be true to who I am?

"The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just." May be this means that even though trying to build a community of faith that truly represents the way of Christ is nigh on impossible, if I believe the task is important I ought to keep trying anyway?

I wish Abe Lincoln, others and that voice inside that I battle with would just "Shuddup!" .... May be a move to a different church would be easier???? Three years honeymoon period... easy peasy. .... but the possibilities here are...???? Watch this space.