Thank God its Sunday night

I get a bit stressed in my ministry work. It is OK, it really is part of who I am. I go off to sleep at nights only to wake an hour or so later and in my head I begin to "work"... stew; think of all I have to fit in; remember things I haven't done and should have done; think of all that could go wrong in the day ahead; ... so I lose sleep. This does not help my frame of mind. I generally cope, however, and few people know the lack of confidence, the stress and the mixed feelings going on inside. I had one of those grossly disturbed nights on Wednesday night. I had a full day on Thursday and at 10 a.m. I had to fit in "supervision" with my counsellor type lady. Well I tried to get heaps done in the office before I went, and ran most of the distance from my office to hers. I got lost in the building looking for her office. A man came out of his work room and took one look at me and said, "You will be needing 'Psychological services' that's their door there!" How did he know that?  When I got in her room I plonked down and was totally uninhibited, blurting out all my frustrations and annoyances. When I stopped to draw a breath, she said, "Well that's a lot off your chest all in one go?" During the next three quarters of an hour she challenged me. I had talked about retirement. She said, "You won't make retirement the way you're going. I don't want to visit you in hospital!" She told me that with the way I see my work, and the church "you are very alone." (though she likes the way I see things)  "Where do you get your strength from?" she asked. I thought I knew, but I don't think she understood or I think she felt it was inadequate. She told me to sort out where I was "flogging dead horses" and to stop doing it. "Pat them on the bum and leave them!" Anyway time was up and I went walking on my way to my most awkward chaplaincy. I do feel sorry for her trying to sort me out. Where am I flogging dead horses? I do not think things are as clear cut as she thinks. All my dead horses occasionally draw a breath.
Talking and doing
There have been meetings around here about poverty and about bridging the gap between rich and poor. Some of them I did not know about until it was too late and the others I have been too busy to attend. I know that there are two ways of working to help the needs of the poor. One is to share resources with them and help them in their situation. (e.g. Night Shelter, Habitat for Humanity and our Drop-in centre) The other is to work at changing the structures that make them poor in the first place and that makes sense. I think the people holding the meetings would feel that this is what they are doing. That is legitimate. I wished I had time to go, but I was too busy doing stuff for our Christmas dinner, the night shelter and such. I do get the feel still that a lot of people think they have done something for the poor when they have just talked about them!  Having said that, I could do with thinking more about the structures. Don't know where to start on that? I guess a good start would be with my vote in the election next Saturday.
Small things
I walked up "my" mountain last night. I always enjoy the walk. The scenes on the way and from the top are expansive. But as I neared the top I saw something beautiful. Up against a rock I saw this line up of small dainty blue flowers. How do they survive in the winds up there? I took a photo. This made me look at lots of small things. Mosses and fungi on rocks making colourful patterns. Lichen on trees. Little plants surviving beside the path. I realised that, as well as the expansive views there were these small patches of beauty to appreciate.  We often miss beautiful things and people in life, especially if they are "small".