Dunedin, New Zealand, my city - my people

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

The day after "Blah" feeling.

My friend Don Gordon. I will miss him very much. We had great conversations, with a cheeky dry sense of humour. 

Yesterday I conducted the funeral for my friend. I had some positive feedback. I was disappointed because I had said that each speaker should just go for five minutes. Most went for a lot longer than that. Some who had more right to speak longer, did restrict themselves to the five minutes. One lady went for fifteen minutes. I was annoyed because it made it a long funeral. The saving factor was that some of the speakers were exceedingly clever and entertaining. I had very positive feedback about my part in the service.
It does not change the fact that Don has gone.  Today that reality has sunk in and I have been feeling blah.  I have received thoughtful support from people in my chaplaincies and Night Shelter friends who knew how attached I was to Don. Even the funeral director involved was thoughtful enough to ask me how I was coping. It is the church people who do not seem to be as sympathetic, and that is sad, because in theory they are meant to be the caring ones.
A bit thoughtless
I was working in my Church office late this afternoon.  I had intending staying there until 6 p.m. when I pick up my wife from her volunteer work at the hospital. I was then planning to go back to my office to work until I could visit the Night Shelter and talk with the manager at about 6:45 p.m.  I knew my elders team were to have a meeting with some out-of-town leaders about the future ministry.  One of my elders arrived three quarters of an hour before hand and began asking questions. It became evident that they planned to meet in my office and "when was I leaving?"  I did leave at his convenience but felt a tad angry - and let him know. It is my office - if they wanted to use it they should have let me know, or even had the common courtesy to ask me before hand. I had been busy doing preparation for two events and papers were everywhere. I had to do a bit of a tidy up. Secondly I was still working. I have two deadlines tomorrow and I was using every moment I have to get work done. It felt like a kick in the teeth - "You're retiring, you don't matter anymore. We do not even have to be polite to you." I know they did not mean to be nasty, but that is how it felt... they were just thoughtless, disorganised and taking things for granted.  At the moment I am even more disappointed in "Church." I guess grief has just hit me today and it is easier to get your nose out of joint when that happens.  81 days to go and they cannot go fast enough.
I tidied up a bit, packed up and drove to a park near a lookout over the city and did some reading for Sunday's service.  
Where will I go to Church? Will I go to Church?
One of the issues we will face in retirement is where we will worship. I raised this with some friends the other day and one immediately shot back, "Mount Cargill!" I have to admit I do not fit easily into most Church settings, I am unorthodox. I would like to go somewhere where they are serving their community, but those Churches are few and far between. I think we might have a long break as "backsliders" and then look around. 
A nice politician
We had a message from the Labour party that the spokesperson for housing was wanting to talk with somebody at the Night Shelter. I made an arrangement to see him at 10 a.m. on Tuesday. I went to the night shelter and waited for a car to deliver him. He was late and didn't arrive by car but walked. I met him, made him a cup of tea and we sat and chatted like old friends about housing issues and other stuff related to our society and economy. He was a genuinely nice guy, asking intelligent questions and contributing logically in our conversation. There did not seem to be any smarmy political smooth talk and over the top friendliness. When it was time for him to go he was going to order a taxi. I offered to drive him, so this senior politician who could be a cabinet minister (I hope) next year, clambered into my junky old Nissan Bluebird and I drove him to the house he was staying at, which was just a few blocks from the Church. He thanked me for my work in the community as he left. He was a really nice politician, I hope he has a great career ahead of him. His name is Phil Twyford, watch out for him.

1 comment:

Linda Myers said...

In June I started attending a Unitarian Universalist church. I find it to be welcoming and an opportunity for me to "walk my talk" as you do. All faiths are welcome.