May "the Force" be with you.

Yesterday I took the funeral of a 32 year old who died of an accidental overdose and I had a big dose of an experience that keeps me in this stupid, frustrating job. It happens on a smaller scale all the time, but yesterday it was more intense. I'll try to describe it for you.

In the film "Billy Elliot" a young boy, Billy loves to dance. After all sorts of opposition and drama with his family, his father and he are sitting in front of the panel of the Royal School of ballet being interviewed after his dance audition. Things had not gone too well. As they were leaving the interview one of the panelists stopped Billy and asked him, "What does it feel like when you are dancing?" Billy stuttered for a while then said, "Like 'lectricity, yeah just like 'lectricity!" That is how I would describe leading the funeral yesterday, sad and difficult though it was.

After the funeral the boy's dad said it was the best service he had been at, "bar none". Big tough firefighters were grasping my hand and saying "Congratulations" with real emotion. I did a good job... not perfect... but I "connected". As 300 people gathered for the funeral I wandered around full of nervous energy, wondering how it would go. I began and had confidence that my prepared words were the right ones for these people. I came to what I call an "affirmation" (for those without faith) or a "prayer" (for those who can identify with that) and I sensed I had the people still with me. I had chosen to read 1 Corinthians 13 ("Love is all important") introduced it and as I read a contemporary version of this, I sensed that it was relevant and being listened to. After tributes and a reflection time I spontaneously added a prayer of thanksgiving for the love given and received in this boy's life, ... it "hit" me and seemed the right thing to do. When I came to the final part of the service I said I wanted to share some personal thoughts as an "old minister". I talked about seeing too many stunted lives in my forty years of working with people and challenged people to cherish their life and the lives of others. I called on them to give some meaning to the young guy's death. I finished with, "Whatever you do, do not leave this tragedy behind without learning something from it that will add to your life in a positive way". During this time you could hear a pin drop and all ears, minds and hearts were tuned in. It was like "'lectricity!" In some ways I had taken a risk but it seemed right.

Hard work
I know I am better than average at funerals. (and at communicating messages) Someone said to me, "It's a gift you have." I recalled the words of violinist Pablo Sarasate. "A genius! For thirty seven years I've practised fourteen hours a day, and now they call me a genius!" Well gift or not good communication and good funerals do not come easily. I put a lot of work into that funeral. There were two visits to the family, not just gathering information and making arrangements, but sensing where they were at, and who would be there, and what their needs were. Then there were the hours in bed at night lying awake stewing (... cogitating with "God") over what should be said. There were the hours of preparation, typing it out, rewording it, refining and making sure it was "me". Added to this there were 16 years of building a relationship with the father and other firefighters who were there. Good funerals do not just happen, they are a result of hard work.

But it is a "Grace" or "Gift" .. it is by "the grace of God"
As people thanked me (some others averted their eyes and looked sheepish.. I had touched a nerve about their lifestyle) I became amazed. "Is this me? Shy old David Brown who led this so well? He who at one stage could not stand up in front of people without falling to pieces?He who does not claim to have a good grasp of the english language?" How does this happen? Hard work but also the movement of "God". I loved the Star Wars scene where Luke Skywalker (I think) was on a mission to target some area of the nasty peoples' ship. As he was going in he remembered "the Force" and relied on it... of course he was successful. "May the force be with you" I believe are good words to remember as we try to follow Jesus' way. God, that mysterious, eternal layer of reality does work through us! Somehow the right words "came" to me as I prepared. Somehow I was able to read the situation correctly. Somehow the need for that spontaneous "love prayer" hit me. Somehow this shy old man established rapport. Only through the activity of God. It is a gift.

My understanding
Here is how I understand it. There is a movement among us toward love. What we have named "God" is that movement in human history who works toward love, justice, liberty and wholeness. If I am concentrating on the needs of others, wanting to minister or care for them, aching for them and their needs, this "force" works in us, flows through us, enlivens us and empowers us. If I am there for my own selfish ends, to show off or to just "do the job" I block the flow and it is dead. Love opens the doors for God ("the force") to flow naturally through our mind, heart, facial expressions and voice and "electricity" happens.
This happens whether I am a minister, a ballet dancer, a manager, a mechanic or a colleague. Where there is the attempt at genuine love "God" flows through that relationship or encounter. We can do things, understand things, think things and sense things we otherwise could not do. I get annoyed at the stupid interpretations, mechanical thinking and dogma surrounding "spiritual gifts". This is how I understand "Spiritual gifting". It is why 1st Corinthians 13, the love chapter comes after chapter 12 where gifts are talked about. God's love flows through our different personalities in different ways. A spiritual gift is a way we have of expressing the love at the heart of the universe. We each have different ways of doing this, and unfortunately mine happen to be in ministry type ways... I cannot get out of this job that annoys me so much. It is my "calling", through it I truly express who I am. Let me say too, that I have met people who have turned off religion, who have a passion for love, justice and wholeness through whom the "Spirit" works. I discover in these people a "connection" that is a spiritual "God connection" even though they would not name him. "God" or the "Great Spirit" is a force greater than our descriptions of "him", and often our dogma is almost blasphemous. May "the force" be with you (I am glad he was with me yesterday)