Touching something solid.

That demon drink...

Late in 1969 I had a workmate who had trouble with alcohol. He ended up separated from his beautiful wife, (he had beaten her up three times over a period of time) and his two delightful little boys and in a psychiatric ward. When discharged this 32 year old came to stay with me and my new wife - he had no where else to go. He desperately wanted to be reconciled with his wife but that wasn't going to happen in a hurry. We helped him shift to another place where we felt he could receive more support.   Two days later he committed suicide. After his funeral his "friends" went to a local pub and got pissed. It always seemed weird to me.  Drink had destroyed their mate's life, caused untold heartache and they remembered him by drinking stupidly.

Next Monday I will take a funeral of another 32 year old whose life has been destroyed by drink. There already has been incredible heartbreak and sadness. Probably there will be years of it to come. I hope his mates don't remember him by getting pissed! 

I am not tea-total but I am angry at the mess that drink causes. I talked to a man a few weeks ago who this week moved out from his wife. They are a young couple I married a little over a year ago, and he admitted that his drinking had wrecked their marriage. I talked to a man who has largely sorted his life out but still deeply regrets the deep pain he had caused an earlier partner, the loss of the relationships because of his drinking. I heard of a suicide contributed to by alcohol problems. (It may well be said that such relationships or other problems caused the drinking, but why do we choose to drink, rather than deal with the issues in a more constructive way?) The death of the young man whose funeral I will lead has opened the flood gates of people telling me all sorts of stories of destruction, heartache and woe caused by young people (sons and daughters teens through to late 30's) drinking too much. All these I have had contact with in just the first month of the year! Watch any real life "follow the police around" program and most of the calls are alcohol related. There is violence in homes and on the streets related to drinking. A policeman once told me that something like 88% of their work is drink related. A social worker in the hospital related incredible figures for patients in hospital with either accidents related to drink, or diseases of one sort and another from long term alcohol abuse. I am chaplain to a brewery and the manager gave me his business card. On the back it read "Making our world a more sociable place". I guess we who are involved in the industry (and by being chaplain I am implicated in a sense too) want to feel good about the work we do, but really when you look at the results in our society it is not a very "sociable place" as a result of drink. What is wrong with us if we cannot socialise without getting pissed? Do we lack conversational skills? Do we lack self-esteem? What is wrong with who we are as people in our culture that this is such a problem? Is there a deeper "spiritual" problem where we do not have deep significance or meaning in life? All I know is that there is a major problem causing untold hurt. heartache and destruction.

Digging Foundations

I recall once digging a post hole for the piles of a house. The digging was easy because the ground was loose. We dug what we thought was the required depth and left it. A building inspector checked the holes before we put concrete in. "No" he said, "you must dig further till you reach more solid clay." I suspect that these days, with the demise of "religion" (and I think it has deserved its demise) we in the west do not now dig down and touch solid clay. This is a contributing factor to our troubles. The world and life is always in a state of flux and change. The rate of change is speeding up and few things seem stable in life. Because of this, deep uncertainty settles in our "guts" and our drinking is a sort of medication to help us cope. 

Last Sunday in my Church I talked about encounters with God as "touching that which is eternal". Whether or not we believe in God, or want to participate in religion, I think it is good to dig down and touch that which is eternal in life. An inner understanding that there are values like "Love", "Justice" and "harmony" that are worth living for is a deep direction in life. A deep recognition that each person is of value, that you are of value is another important foundation stone. An awareness that we are linked to each other and the earth is another. These deep truths give a foundation in life, and "feed" our "souls". They empower when the flow of life is against us and they give direction and motivation. In the changes in life, in our world about us and in our circumstances they give an anchor point.  

Quotes...

Stephen R. Covey...  "The key to dealing with the challenges that face us today is the recognition of a principle-centred core within both ourselves and our organisations."

Barack Obama.. ".. a belief that there is a higher power, a belief that we are connected as people, that there are values that transcend race or culture, that move us forward, and that there's an obligation for all of us individually as well as collectively to take responsibility to make those values lived."

Marcus Borg...  "God is not "a being," but a non-material layer or level or dimension of reality that permeates everything, and at the same time, is more than everything."

Photos:

• Last week's empties.
• A photo of some of the exposed roots of a big tree on the Mount Cargill track. If the trees need such big roots, if our houses need deep and solid foundations, so do our lives.

A song we sing at church goes:

"May your roots go deep into God's marvelous love..."