I love my kids

When we went to Kaiteriteri to take my son's wedding, we had all but one of my children and their partners together. The one we did not manage to take was Pania, our foster-daughter who has severe intellectual disabilities. (But is loved by all the family just as much) We hired a house and spent a couple of nights together... the groom was not there for Saturday night of course. It was just nice to be around these people, they are good people. Let me introduce my kids.

Angela and her husband, David. (top photo)

Angela is the oldest of the children and actually keeps a loving motherly eye on them all. If she hears that one of her siblings is in trouble or needs help she is on the phone to check it out. They too will call her and talk through their issues. Angela has heaps of skills. She has a BA in psychology (I think) an MA in Education..a post grad diploma... a law degree.. has done various other theology papers and studies. She works as an administrator with the Dominican sisters, and though she is protestant, they are very accepting, inclusive and caring of her. (Because of her links they have been very supportive of our Church work, often giving donations of money or excess furniture our way.) Angela in turn, loves them and goes "above and beyond" in her work for them. Angela has a passion for people, for justice and for the environment. She, like her father, is often restless and frustrated with the way things are. She, like her father, has a love-hate relationship with the church. If you are on the wrong side of an argument with her you have to know your stuff.  Angela and David have shown that if you have them as your friends, you have a couple who will "have your back" in the journey through life. They support so many people through rough times. 

Phillip and Natasha -just married. (second photo)

Phil was a delightful little boy. He just soaked in life about him, enjoying exploring, questioning and tasting. I recall seeing Phil walking through a paddock of grass singing at the top of his voice as he headed for some bush, where his imagination could run free. I remember Phil coming in from playing cricket with Daniel his brother. He said, "Gee Daniel's good. He's better than me at batting." ... which may or may not be true.. but I appreciated that this boy had the grace to appreciate the skills of his younger brother in a game. It was Phil who when we were away one weekend, decided that he would grab my tools, nails and the timber he had scavenged from the local rubbish tip and construct a skateboard "half pipe" in the middle of our back lawn. When I came home I did not know whether to be mad or proud! We had great trouble convincing his tech drawing teacher that he had used his tech drawing skills to design the frame work, the angles and the curve of the "half pipe". Phil studied fashion and design and went on to make and sell clothing. He then did a BA, (which I would love to wave in his doubting teachers' faces... Grr... often our education system sucks for creative boys) has worked at Tepapa Museum preparing exhibits, and is currently studying for a Diploma in Construction Technology. He is very clever with art work. His exercise books were covered with "doodles" of the most detailed drawings and from time to time he comes out with creative cards or cartoons with biro pen drawings that tell a story and communicate a feeling. He enjoys tramping, is getting into vege gardening and has heaps of vinyl records. He has many of my traits, which is sometimes good.

Daniel and Magda (third photo)

Daniel was obviously an adopted son. We decided to adopt a "special needs" child and it turned out that mixed race babies were considered "special needs" and hard to adopt out. In interviews prior to adoption we were challenged often about whether we would be accepting of a "different" child. Let me relate a story. When he was 18 months old he over heated and had a fit, rolling on the floor uncontrollably, eyes rolling back and limbs flying everywhere. We took him to the hospital and were in front of a nurse who was filling out forms and asking heaps of questions. I had Daniel, a very dark Maori/Samoan baby on my knee. She asked if there was epilepsy in his family. Without thinking I began to answer the question. "No in my family I didn't know of any... in Jean's family..." As the nurse looked at me strangely, I suddenly realised that our physical heritage was irrelevant, but realised too that as far as my heart was concerned, he belonged to me just as much as my "natural born" children. It continues to be that way, and I love him dearly. Daniel is very clever and talented in many ways. He can, if he wants to play beautiful classical guitar. He has had a time when he was a skilled DJ. He built this desktop computer I use, exploring, researching and learning the skills by himself. He began his working life as a baker. Has worked for Cadbury chocolate factory. Has worked as a mail sorter. He seems to be able to pick up jobs, and is appreciated for his ability to learn and his diligence at the task. He has a really nice caring nature, that has been shaped by all the ups and downs of having to work out his identity as an adopted Maori child in a Pakeha family.  He went on a big OE and came home bringing Magda into our lives. Magda is a delightful daughter-in-law from Poland and Daniel is showing his talents once again, by attempting to learn polish. Now when she "skypes" with her family he can understand parts of the conversation. During the wedding weekend the electric windows in my car played up. Daniel and I became a companionable team, pulling the doors apart and fixing them.

Simon and Monique (bottom photo)

Simon is another "special needs" adoption. Simon has always been full on in anything he tackles. All my boys were better than average at sports, but Simon has great hand-eye coordination. He played basket ball, cricket, rugby league and any other sport he got talked into. In some respects he was too friendly and too "laid back" to be a real competitor as a sportsman, but he had the skills. I coached school boy cricket for 7 years and I recall parents coming to me in awe of Simon. They appreciated his sporting skill, but commented most on what a great sportsman he was, encouraging all the players, being friendly to all and saying, "I wish more kids with such skills could be like that!" Simon is not a big guy, but is very wiry. I watched him playing rugby league against some very big guys. These guys would have the ball and come rushing at Simon, quite confident that they could get past this wee guy. Simon had the knack of timing his tackle right, wrapping his arms around their legs and the "mighty" would tumble. Si would leap to his feat, give his opponent a friendly pat on the back and move on. Simon studied the hospitality industry and has worked in hotels, restaurants and cafes. His friendly nature and ready smile make him an expert in this field. Currently his job involves roasting coffee (he "knows" coffee) and working in a cafe. He has a great sense of humour, a warm smile and a lovely laid back but caring nature. When ever Simon and I get together we generally wrestle each other at some stage. I have been able to use my superior weight to push him around, but this last weekend I noticed he is VERY strong, and he knew it... he said with a grin, "That doesn't work anymore!" as he shoved me around.

I have talked about Pania in other posts, she too is a much loved part of our family. 

On the wedding weekend, as I sat in this house relaxing with my kids, (they supplied the beer which we drank in moderation... I hasten to add... their expectations exceeded our consumption) listening to their conversation, watching them relating to their partners and sharing their company, I could not help but think, "I am a lucky man! I love my kids!"