I have been chuckling at myself. How easily I get sucked into the "instant gratification" mind set of the world around me. I have a desk top PC at my work office. It is a few years old and probably in need of some spring cleaning, but compared to my new Macbook Pro, it tends to run so slow. I click on an instruction, and the computer begins to "think" about acting.... "Come on! come on!" I am saying. In a matter of seconds it begins to load up what I want. I recall a time when there was no Internet. We thought fax machines were marvelous! I recall a time when if you wanted to make an international telephone call, you had to phone an operator and you had to book it in. ... Now I can connect with people throughout the world in a few seconds and I grumble about the speed! We are so impatient! I have a friend who often helps me do stuff at the church who is always telling me to "Wait! Have some patience! Let it do it's thing!" I click on something and start re pushing buttons when I don't have instant satisfaction... I often only end up completely confusing the poor computer
We are planning a trip to Europe. We fly via Heathrow to Prague and by car onto Poland. We added up the hours it will take us to get there. Virtually two days of traveling! Two days out of my life... we are grumbling about it! The stop overs... the time between flights etc. We growl... but REALLY! We are traveling around the other side of world in just 2 days! ... not that long ago it took months to travel that sort of distance and it was often done in very uncomfortable circumstances. Anyway.... I guess I am saying I need to have more patience.
Mary and Martha...
Last year I started to play soccer with a group of people. I loved it and I think they enjoyed having me around. This year I have not been near soccer... too busy. A group connected to the soccer started using our drop-in centre area on Tuesdays. I usually remember to open it, and set it up for them. At the start I would stop and play a few games of pool... lately I have pleaded "too busy" and not been around for a game. On Tuesday I forgot to open till I got a text from one of the guys. I opened the door and we set up together. I apologised for forgetting, I said that I was busy. As he set up the pool balls he said, "I suppose you're too busy for a game with me?" then he went on... "Have you heard of Mary and Martha? One of them was too busy, made the wrong choice. Perhaps you are too busy?" I stopped and played three games with him. "It's alright for him!" I said to myself, "He's unemployed. Needs to fill his time up. ... I have deadlines!" .... but his comment hit home. Am I too busy for people!? Maybe he has a point? But I do spend lots of time with people.... I don't know the answer, it's just an issue.
What's the use? ... how come?
Today I led our Church service. Yesterday I was saying to my wife... "What the hell's the use?" I put hours of reading, thought and creativity into it... I generally lose sleep on Saturday night. I am not much company all day Saturday. I am nervous after years of doing it. I ask myself... why do it? What do I accomplish? Today for me was not all that it should have been. I did a lot of research. I knew the reading inside out. I had a good take on it. I wrestled with it. I did all the power points on Saturday night.... got up on Sunday and changed them around. I usually scribble out a "sermon" several times... but do not take any notes into the service. Today things didn't go right in the office prior to the service... some technical hitches with the power points had us nervous. I took time out to go over in my mind what I wanted to say and two "illustrations" I had thought of and written into my notes just would not come to mind... my scribbles were still at home. During the service a sound item did not go right. ... I did not feel I communicated as clearly as I wanted to. .. I remembered one illustration and another came to mind to fill the gap. .. but I felt I had mucked up and was quietly relieved when we sang the "amen" at the end of the service. But... after the service I had so many positive comments. Some of them were "thoughtful" ones, not just slick throw away phrases. People were helped and I think others were challenged. What a weird job? What a mysterious process? I guess I will do it all again next week.
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