Dunedin, New Zealand, my city - my people

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

A "REAL" week.

Woops! Back to earth...
In my last post I waxed on about my friends "in low places" responding warmly to me. Sorry, I lied.  At our Friday night Drop-in centre there was one man who definitely does not love me! He has mental health issues. He had come in and received a meal and also grabbed one of the loaves of bread we had been given to use or to hand on. One of the others gave him a bit of good humoured banter, but he took exception and yelled at them, threw the loaf of bread at them and slammed his meal hard down on the table. (food went everywhere) Briefly there were raised voices but we stepped in quickly and calmed the situation down. All was quiet. He mumbled something about "I'm sick of this Church" while helping himself to a second helping of free food, more cakes, a cup of coffee and a new bag of bread rolls to take home. (The loaf he threw was not returned to him.)  When he left the hall later in the night I passed him on the stairway. I decided, away from the others that I could talk with him about his behaviour. I said quietly and, I thought in a caring way, that I knew he was upset, but that we really do not want people throwing things at other people in the drop-in. He went off his face at me. I continued to try to talk calmly, acknowledging he was upset, but that there are other ways of dealing with it than throwing things. With that he threw his bag of bread rolls we had given him directly at my face. I can tell you they were hard crusted bread rolls and quite heavy because they hurt. I followed him out toward the footpath still trying to pacify him and talk calmly, but he just yelled abuse at me. By the time we got to the footpath I had had enough. He was not listening. "John you are banned! If you can't control yourself, you are banned!" With that yelling abuse at me he came at me waving his fists. He threw a couple punches at me which I avoided by swaying backward.  One was within an inch of the side of my already smarting face.  I then realised he was serious. The "little boy" in me was by this time angry and I clenched my fist wanting to punch his lights out! But my "adult" took over and I kept my hands firmly at my side, took a step forward glared at him and said, "John you really do not want to do that!" He had his fists up in fighting position, and there was a moment when our eyes locked, and I was ready to duck again. But thankfully he backed off and went around the corner and down the street yelling abuse at me over his shoulder. Apart from that incident we had a beautiful night with our drop-in friends genuinely pleased to see me and concerned for my health. I feel sad for John. He needs more care from our mental health system than he is getting, but we do have to keep others safe and he is getting out of control.
So much sadness..
It is Tuesday and I have been back at work just over a week. I have been astounded at the amount of sadness I have encountered! I cannot list them all, but every day in that week I have listened to tales of woe and heartbreak. Marriage breakups, deep depression, one death from cancer, stressed relationships, stressed people and a person in trouble with the courts. I have heard of these through chaplaincies, church, friends, phone calls and texts and began to wonder when it would all stop. To add to this list of sadness on Sunday we drove to Christchurch (5 hours drive away) to catch up on our son, his wife and our grandchild. While looking for their street in the dark we were rammed from behind by a speeding inattentive driver. Our good Toyota Corolla was severely damaged around the right hand tail light area and we received sore necks.  (You need to understand as a result of the earthquake a couple years ago Christchurch streets are cluttered with bumps, lumps and road works.)  We did get back home but I think the insurance company will write it off. Then this morning while having our breakfast in a motel room an hour and a half from home, we watched the unfolding news of the tragic bomb blasts at the Boston Marathon. (The upward spiral of violence in the world - violence breeds violence.)  My first week back at work after my operation has involved me in feeling so much of the sadness in people's lives. Of course there is a big heap of good, but just sometimes it feels like life has gone mad.
Hospital again...
Tomorrow I go back into hospital and they take the catheter out and do another trial. I do hope it works, I am finding the catheter stretching my patience.  Wish me luck.

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