Every week lately seems to have had something extra in it which has meant normal work has had to fit around the extra. This week I hosted an inner-city ministers meeting. I took them up to the drop-in centre area... easy chairs, ready cup of tea etc. The meeting went well... I was happy with it. I often do not feel at home with these religious people, they seem on a different planet than I.
Exercise disappointment. I walked last Sunday because my hamstring was sore and tight. Monday I split wood for some time and went for a bike ride, Wednesday I had a gym session and a run, running quite freely, Thursday though my hamstring was sore and tight. I ran to get the phone and discovered how sore it was. Friday a gym session... today we started to run but felt tight in the hamstring so apart from a small jog around a track, we walked up a hill. I will not be running a half marathon I had planned at the end of June. I need to rest my hamstring ... it is sooo disappointing! I wanted to run a half-marathon when I was sixty.
Two training days.....Added into this week were two different training days or professional development days. Friday saw me catching up with Workplace support chaplains. I enjoyed the catching up but was disappointed with the training. It was not bad, but I would say it was nice and "light" and OK for an adolescent youth camp, but somehow not solid enough for me. For me to give up a day of work results in a whole lot of added pressure on my week. If I give it up I want the time to be really meaty and useful. This day fell short of my expectations... not offensive nor real bad, but just not meaty enough to make me feel it was time well spent. Saturday I spent on a training day with the peer support team from St John Ambulance and the Fire Service. I was dreading it thinking it would be another wasted day, but I was pleasantly surprised. The people who led it were excellent facilitators and I enjoyed the social interaction. I learned from it and had thoughts I had from my own experiences of dealing with Critical Incident Stress confirmed. I was pleased I went even though it made me tired and put added pressure on.
Something to think about... The first session was on "stress" ... symptoms, internal and external pressures etc. I listed off so many of the symptoms it was not funny! And I live with them week in week out! Stress is an imbalance between our challenges or tasks in life and our perceived ability to handle them. The woman leading it said that stress in life was like a cup. If we kept it at half full we can manage it and if new pressure comes on we have room to move. I realised that I live most of my life with the cup almost full. There are a lot of reasons for that. Ministry, 3 chaplaincies, Habitat for Humanity and Night Shelter Trust all make sure my weeks are full. I have a lack of confidence which means that even normal ministry/chaplaincy etc. functions are relatively stressful. I also have different expectations of "church" and so the compromises I make and the "square peg in a round hole" feeling add to stress. I also have high expectations of Habitat for Humanity and am frustrated with colleagues involved there. I had said to my wife at the end of Friday night, "I don't know how long I can keep doing this?!" and "I am dreading Sunday!" So I have been asking myself, "How do I reduce the stress?" I really don't know what to cut out?
I know that my gym, running, mountain and biking help me cope.
I have a helpful formal supervisor and another informal weekly supervisor in my Sunday running friend.
I have an inner spiritual drive and sense of partnership that empowers and enables. But even given all these things I sense that I am pushing my luck and treading on thin ice. I am reviewing the situation..... I do need a walk up the mountain though.... maybe tomorrow?
No comments:
Post a Comment