Laurie
I met Laurie after my first Church service in Palmerston North. He and his wife came up and introduced themselves. His comment then was, "I bet you're pleased to have that service done!"
One of his daughters baby sat for us and also typed the church newsletter, so I was often around at their place and got to know him and his family quite well. Here are some things I'll remember about Laurie.
- He managed a local hardware company and if I rang him at work he would always answer with just one business-like word... "Findlay!" I once plucked up the courage to say, "Brown!" in response.
- He was a man of integrity and had old fashioned values. He always wanted to look his best and dress professionally. He wanted things done efficiently and well. He could be trusted to keep his word and was always very straight up and honest.
- Laurie took me to the rugby in Palmerston North. Manawatu (the local team) just happened to be playing Otago, the team from my home town. Out of deference to my host I remained impartial most of the game, but at one point when Otago scored a try I punched the air in enthusiasm and yelled, "Yes!" Laurie turned and looked at me in disgust. When we got back to his place he said to his family, "I don't know about this new minister... take the man to the rugby and he cheers for the opposition! By jingo!"
- Laurie began to lead in worship while I was in ministry there. He agreed with me that the whole of worship should dove tale with what the sermon was on about, so we would plan worship together. He would come around to my place one evening and we'd sit in the study, have a cup of tea, and choose hymns and the order etc. But of course we would start to talk politics, life, faith and sort out the whole world. It always ended up a long night, with lots of cups of tea but a good night of friendship. Faith for Laurie, had to be down to earth, real and practical. "None of this airy fairy bull dust! I don't go for that!" he would say.
- Laurie came across often blunt, and as a man of few words. But I came to know that he felt for people very deeply. He hurt when others hurt and he would go out of his way to help people. I once saw him just after he knocked a boy off his bike. It was the boys fault, he rode out in front of the car, but Laurie was absolutely mortified. The boy injured his leg. He went around to that family for several visits, bringing food, offering transport and befriending the boy.
- Laurie was a man of few words. He would often sit and listen to a conversation and then come up with something that showed he had been stewing on everyone's contribution. "It seems to me... " he would start... and then share his considered thoughts.
- Laurie became chairman of the church board while I was there and he would invite Jean and I for lunch on the day of the board meeting. He and I would go over the agenda and correspondence for the meeting, and have things structured so that the board members talked about the important things first.
- Laurie supported me in so many ways. He once sold an old classic car I had. I had a partially restored Austin 7 that I could not afford to transport to the South Island. I left it on Laurie's front lawn and he sold it for me. I was passing through Palmerston North and was running late for a bus once. He took time off work and chased down the bus, pulling it over south of Palmerston so that I could get on it. Over the years Laurie has always been interested in what I am doing. He would keep in touch and we would theologise and discuss life again over the phone. His support has been one of the things that has kept me going. He may have lived in the North Island, we may have contacted each other just a few times a year, but I knew I had a friend thinking of me and somehow "with me".
- Laurie could be blunt with me and let me know his opinion if he thought I was not doing as I should. We had a part time ministry in Levin, and we lived at a little place called Apiti. I loved it. I had a "self-sufficiency" thing going on our acre of ground and I got jobs on farms and in a shearing gang. I wanted to stay there. He kept questioning me. He challenged me saying that I had other gifts to share. He then said bluntly, "I think you're hiding away here. You're not doing what you are meant to be doing with the gifts and abilities you have. You can influence more people elsewhere!"
- We had lots of laughs together. Mostly we laughed at ourselves and the various predicaments we had faced in life.
- He was a great partner to Evie his lovely wife. She was/is a ball of energy and talks flat tack. Laurie was quieter, and would tease her gently, but support her in whatever she was doing. If you stayed at their place they lavished you with kindness, and both of them would be busy in the kitchen to make sure you got fed, and fed well.
I could go on... I loved them both. I conducted his daughter's weddings. (One of his daughters is a very successful music teacher in a high class secondary school. A mother of teenagers now. Whenever we meet she still says, "Hi DB....Up your nose with a rubber hose!" which grew out of something that happened when she was a teen and I was visiting.) We stayed with them often. Now I wish I was with Evie and the family as they say their good byes. I seemed to have lost a lot of friends over the last couple of years. Having stopped being busy, I am finding my thoughts go to them, and now Laurie is added to the list.
Amsterdam lesson...
We had a about six and a half hours on two trains to get from Berlin to Amsterdam. Amsterdam Centraal (that's how they spell it) was teaming with people. There was a crush to get on the elevators down from the platform! First my wife got on with her bag, and I followed, with people pushing in behind me. We got to the bottom of the elevator and the guy in front of us, a big guy, got off the elevator and.... STOPPED still sorting out his next move, surveying the scene. The elevator and the crowd kept pushing us forward. He was about to get a push from my wife when he took one further step which allowed us to squeeze past. I had of course been thinking about Laurie. Somewhere in his eighties, physically life had turned to custard. It is the way of life and nature that when that happens we have to move on. We make room for those following. I know that but its still hard losing a friend.
Is there a connection?
On Thursday night our time, (Friday morning NZ time) I struggled to sleep. I was physically very tired and should have dropped to sleep easily. But I didn't. I tried all sorts of things to get off to sleep, but I tossed and turned and only after several hours of sleeplessness dozed off. I gather that would have been the time when Laurie's life would have been ebbing. Did my subconscious know this somehow? Was there some "link" between us? I guess we'll never know.
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