"Gracefully surrendering" ... get stuffed.

Stupid Knee...

A couple of months ago I was running well. I could run the 11k home easily and feel all the joy of running freely. But now I have a sore knee. I have rested it hoping that it would come right. Even when I went for a walk up the mountain the downward journey would make it sore. When I bend it and touch the outside knee area, you can feel a sort of grating. When it was really bad you could hear the grating sound. I was talking to a man who does sport massage and massage therapy on Friday and he poked and prodded and told me that I need medical help. He warned me that unless I had some treatment I could end up needing a walking stick in two years. I went for a bike ride yesterday and it was "OK'. Today I went for a run/walk and apart from the grating feel, it seems OK so far. But what is ahead for me?

Is it time to give up running? I have been too busy to go on serious tramps thinking "when I reach retirement age" I will do these sorts of things. But will I be able to then? My son wants to go tramping with me in February, will I handle 8 hours of walking?

The Desiderata says;

...take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress your self with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Well I say get stuffed to the "gracefully surrendering the things of youth"! There is nothing graceful about the way I feel. - I must admit I could be "distressing myself with imaginings".

I have often talked with people who have had life changing injuries and wondered how I would cope in the same situation. I have not got major injuries but to be frank my stupid knee depresses me. I would be a difficult patient with something profound. I hope I will learn grace, because if not now, then sometime there will come a time when I will be limited... there is nothing surer. One thing that annoys me is that if it is really bad I will have all those people who have said, "You should not be running, running is bad for you. Especially at your age." gloating at me and telling me, "I told you so!" ... I think I would have to leave town. I think I have to take my knee to a doctor. Watch this space.

The week that was.

• Monday - (my normal day off) led a funeral, received phone calls about another death and extra work.
• Tuesday - chaplaincies at fire service and St John Ambulance. Started to sort some things out for the year ahead. Initial reading for Sunday's service.
• Wednesday - Morning I was called in to another industry to support a CEO as he met with one of his managers to talk over serious issues. Saw a man aching about his reputation, his job and his whole future. In the afternoon, amongst other things, began to sort out the addresses and letters of appreciation to go to people after the Christmas Dinner. More Sunday service preparation.
• Thursday - four hours were spent at Allied Press catching up on people. Choosing songs for Sunday and exploring other elements for the service.
• Friday - chaplaincy work with Fire and Ambulance staff. Some people at the Ambulance are going through job changes so this will be issues to talk through in the week ahead. A syndicate there won First Division in Lotto a few weeks ago. While the eventual amount to each member is not big, it is big enough to cause interesting lunch room discussions.
• Saturday - In the morning I got out my old plumber's tools and fitted a water filter under the sink at the Church. I enjoyed doing it, though my knee did not like the kneeling. In the afternoon and evening work toward today's service and an enjoyable bike ride.
• Sunday - Final preparations and presenting the Sunday service. I went for a run, catching up on my running friend who has been in Australia since before Christmas.

In amongst all this there have been countless conversations with people visiting the church or in chaplaincies covering all sorts of topics. As I said to someone today, "In my job I am never bored!"