Relieved dad.

Sometime ago a friend was once in my office when my son rang me from Christchurch. After the phone call my friend commented on the conversation. "That is such a male conversation! Short, businesslike and abbreviated but full of unexpressed love." I am not good at giving expression to the love I feel. I still wrestle with one of my boys and that's the way I say "hello it is good to see you." I worry about my kids (even as adults) and never find words to express that love. When we say our farewells, I choke up and say something stupid like, "Well - see ya!" Last night I had a phone conversation with son in Edinburgh which made me relieved and a bit proud. I will tell you some things about my kids lately.

Oldest daughter - I called her on the Wednesday I went up to do stuff in Christchurch. She works for the Dominican Sisters and had done a "mercy dash" to Christchurch to pick up an elderly sister and deliver her south in light of the quake. I rang her while she was still in Christchurch and asked if she could lead the Sunday service. She did and did so with such dignity and skill I was filled with pride. (Her husband, a teaching fellow at the University led some Ph.D. students as they presented a Science Magic show to raise funds for Christchurch. Somewhere between 700 and 800 people showed up, the show was a roaring success)
Oldest son - Is a very gifted arty crafty person who has done fashion and design course and designed and sold clothing. He also did a B.A. and has worked at TePapa museum preparing exhibitions. He now lives with his supportive wife on Waiheke Island in Auckland and gets work with people working in the art field. Yesterday he started study again for another year, completing an architectural drafting course. He is creative, a lateral thinker and forging an "original" path for his life. In temperament he is quite like me, a bit shy, hesitant to push himself forward and a wee bit cynical. I love his creativity, free thinking and originality.
Second son is the one whose wedding we attended in Poland. They have now moved to Edinburgh and are setting up home there. They have acquired a flat and we found out yesterday that he has a job. I am so relieved. I was worried that they might not be able to get a job there. He has an uncanny ability to get work, and every where he has worked his work has been appreciated and he is known as conscientious. His wife also looks like getting work in an area she is skilled in. They have done well and I am pleased.
Third son- Is weathering the earthquake in Christchurch. They moved back into their (rented) house on Monday, which was originally red stickered, but later OK'd. He and his partner were quite shaken by their experiences and his work needs a major rebuild. He has a very outgoing and friendly manner and remains positive. He is really thoughtful of others, has a great friendship with his lovely partner and is looking forward to the challenges ahead. He is great to be around and is the one I still wrestle when we meet.
Youngest daughter - we have a foster daughter who has severe intellectual handicaps. She lives in supported accommodation in town here. She has a lovely nature and has a special gift for smiles. Though she cannot speak at all she has taught me so much about life. Special moments in my life is sitting with her watching Muppet music shows holding her hand with her grinning from ear to ear and laughing. Or singing songs to her and her enjoyment of it... the only person in the world who enjoys my singing!

After last night's conversation, and being so pleased my son in Edinburgh seemed to be doing OK, I thought I would tell you of our family. I am not a very good dad, but in spite of all that they are good to be around, they get on well together and each is a creative and essentially good person.