Stop the bus...

Day off!
Mondays are my day off, right. Last week we had a call from a Habitat for Humanity house owner with some need. We ended up spending a good part of the day getting that sorted out. At the time you think "this is OK, I can handle it", but later in the week you begin to have a feeling of overload because you really have not had some decent time off.

Incoming...times two.
On Tuesday a guy from one of my chaplaincies came into Space2b to tell me that his father's health had reached a very low point and that he was not expected to last. On Friday I had contact with the same man, his father had died and he asked if I would take the funeral this Tuesday morning. I agreed to and sat talking to him for quite some time. I have preparation to do for that. It does not matter how many good funerals I take, (that is why I got this funeral, he liked what I did at an earlier family funeral) I still stress out about them and wonder if this will be the one I make a mess of.

Late in the week I received an email from the chairman of a Trust I am on, informing me of some events which required an emergency meeting of the Trust scheduled for Saturday morning. I dutifully attended the meeting, discussing some very weighty issues for several hours. I received a whole pile of work to do, with the next meeting set for Tuesday evening at 5:30 p.m. The work has to be completed by then, and presented at that meeting.

I worked hard getting today's service prepared. You always do a whole lot more research and thinking than comes out in the service. I explored "Fair Trade" and found it to be a very big subject with some sad stories, some very challenging implications and big issues.

I have an annoying knee that discourages much needed exercise. I am waiting for a hospital appointment for another medical problem, with a sense of uncertainty about the condition. (They said I was on the "semi-urgent" list several months ago!)

Tomorrow?
Monday is my "day off" but because of the impending funeral and the extra work for Tuesday evening, I will have to work all day. It will be another week without a true day off.

Tuesday
I have the funeral at 11 a.m. I will have to fit in my normal Tuesday activities and chaplaincy hours and I have a Trust meeting at 5:30 p.m. Tuesday is also my forty second wedding anniversary. I had hoped to do something special to mark it but it will be squeezed out.

Tonight
It is strange, and a sign of some sort of burnout, I feel depressed. I watch TV comedy shows I would normally enjoy and don't laugh, they almost annoy me. I start doing notes for funeral or Trust work, but there seems to be a mental block. An inner panic arises... will I get past that tomorrow so that I will be ready by Tuesday? I look at the week ahead and see statistics to do, overdue visits to make, work needing to be completed and meetings to call. It feels like a long road. I long for a "normal" week, but I think I have decided I don't do "normal". It all looks a bit hard, but I know I will get through it. I have done before, and sometime I will reach a better place, but just now I could really do with a walk in the hills, a couple of days off, or somehow the foot eased off the accelerator of life.