* Some of the Girls Brigade girls had won a prize in a local community event. The prize was a meal out at a local cabaret. There were six girls ranging in age from 10 to 15... in the 70's when girls were not quite as "grown up" as they are now. Their parents decided that the new young minister and his wife should chaperone them to this cabaret. One Saturday night we piled them all in the station wagon (You could in those days... no seat belts) and away we went, with these girls dressed in their very best. Everybody stared when we arrived at the cabaret with these girls in tow. When we went up to get our meals at the buffet counter the chef asked "How come such a young couple could have so many children?" We sat eating and chatting then the show began. This man came out and sung a couple of numbers. He was OK. Then, however, he started telling jokes. He told very colourful jokes, some very clever but they were essentially dirty jokes. What do you do as a young minister chaperoning six young girls with a string of dirty jokes being told? Do you take the girls out of the room? ... it is their special night. Do you laugh at the jokes? I envisaged the girls going home repeating the jokes to mum and dad and saying, "But the minister laughed!" I was quite uncomfortable. I tried not to laugh at the clever ones, but I certainly was squirming! ... Well eventually he stopped his act and I relaxed. A young lady came out in a low cut, well- above-the-knee-mini-slinky, shimmering black dress. (I remember it well - she was stunning!) She sang an enjoyable love song, and I relaxed feeling that my awkward moments were over. I clapped enthusiastically at the end of the song, I appreciated it, it was all above board. Then the lights went down low, the spotlight went on her and she oozed into another romantic song with a sexy husky voice. She moved off the stage while singing, spotlight following and I thought, "Why is she looking at me?" She slunk across the floor eye-balling me, spot light still following, arrived at my side, hand on my shoulder, leaned toward me, looked into my eyes and sang the song to me! She then turned around and sat on my knee, singing to me all the time. (Now you know why I remember the dress!) The six girls were laughing, my wife was looking daggers at me. Any young man would enjoy the experience, but being a minister with six girls from church families and a wife in tow made it a tad uncomfortable!
* In the same ministry a few years later every fourth Sunday I would lead a service at a Methodist Church while their minister led our service. This one Sunday I was at the Methodist Church and opened the service with a call to worship, a hymn and then a prayer. In those days I used reasonably full notes as I conducted worship. The Church secretary then came forward to give the announcements. She welcomed me, read the announcements then returned to her seat in about the middle of the auditorium. I stood up to the lectern to continue the service and realised my notes were not there. ... I assumed I must have left them back at my seat so ad libbed through to the next hymn. I looked at my seat, and then realised that the secretary, when gathering up her notes from the lectern had gathered mine with hers. Not wanting to create a disturbance in this congregation I did not know well I went through the whole service without a note! (Having prepared well I do that all of the time now, but then I was young!) The only hassle I had was that I could not remember the name and number of the last hymn. (I had successfully remembered the three before) I leaned forward till I could see the hymn board and announced the number. I was looking at the secretary as people reached for their hymn books. (We had such things then) It was funny, because her hymn book was sitting on top of my notes on the pew beside her. She took a second look at the papers, looked at me and gasped audibly! The penny had dropped as to what she had done. I gave her a big wink and she smiled and shook her head in disbelief. I finished the service, expressed my appreciation for them having me and walked to the back of the church. To my surprise the secretary stood up and said, "You are not going to believe this, but David has led this service without his notes, I took them after I gave the announcements early in the service!" The congregation burst into laughter and applause.
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