O God, I have tried incessantly
to transmit Your love to people about me.
I shared my possessions;
I gave my time;
I used your gifts given to me to support,
To help, and to bless others
who were in need.
But I feel as if I have been used, O God.
People have wiped their feet on me.
They take what I have to offer and then go on their way,
totally oblivious to my problems and pains.
They act as if I were in debt to them –
as if it were my duty to share myself with them.
But even as I groan in complaint, O Lord,
I know that it is Your course for me.
Even as they use You, so they will use me.
Truly, O God, I have nothing to lose,
For it is in losing that I truly find
that which is of everlasting value.
You are aware of my frustrations,
my feelings of emptiness and loneliness.
You have promised to replenish my vessel,
to make me a channel for Your eternal springs.
I am in debt, O Lord,
to suffering humanity about me.
I must be emptied again and again –
only to be filled from your boundless resources
and then to pour out once more
Your blessings upon those in need.
You have delivered me from the wasteland of need.
Therefore I dedicate myself anew
to the task of channeling Your gifts
to the parched lives of others.
(Leslie Brandt’s meditation on Psalm 56.)