Dunedin, New Zealand, my city - my people

Friday, March 13, 2009

I believe in love and "presence"


We have three visitors visiting our Church family. There is a couple from Vanuatu where he is a minister and president of our churches there. There is a man, a leader in the overseas mission area of our churches here, driving them around. I took Moses (the minister from Vanuatu) around a few fire stations yesterday and all three came to our Drop-in centre. All of them are fairly "religious" so I wondered how they would cope with my fairly laid back approach in my community involvement. Also the firefighters and indeed some of our drop-in people have a fairly "rich" vocabulary so I wondered how they would cope with that. Being with another person makes you look at your own activities from an outsider's perspective. How does it measure up? Would they see it as a waste of time? Am I doing something useful? In all modesty I finished yesterday feeling good about what I do.

We visited the first fire station and had a cup of tea with some of the firefighters. The conversation was fairly tame really, about interesting subjects and life experiences, though dotted with expletives. Apart from one "How are you after your....?" conversation there had been no real "pastoral" conversations. I hopped in the car wondering what Moses had been thinking. As we drove out of the station he made a comment, "Often just our presence makes a difference for people doesn't it?" I breathed a sigh of relief. He was on my wave length and saw the value in sitting around talking and listening. 

That is what we do at drop-in. The people come in at 6:30 p.m. and receive sausages, tomato sauce and sandwiches. There are easy chairs, hot drinks on tap, TV, pool tables and table tennis tables. We catch up, talk life, play pool, do dishes, serve food for 3 hours. Let me tell you of some of the people there last night. 

Sally with 9 month old baby in arms, has two other daughters there (6yrs & 9yrs). Each has a different father. Sally, is relatively attractive, has had trouble with the law, has attempted suicide and has delved into drugs. Sally's mum and Dad are there, they basically parent Sally's children, but have health problems of their own and other adult children in and out of prison and with "issues". Bill, Sally's dad spends the night playing pool with Jack. Jack is a devoted and serious pool player and as such has been known to fly off the handle, threaten people with a pool cue and throw his cue down when things don't go his way. Fred is there with his wife Jill. Jill is in a wheel chair and is getting heavier. I know this because Fred and I carry her and the chair up the flight of 25 stairs. Fred is likable enough, but is like a 13-14 year old in a mans body. His sister Mary is like an 9 year old in a 40 year old's body and can fly off the handle easily. Tonight she had great joy in feeding Sally's baby and getting her down to sleep. Harry is a 38 yr old who is a nice genuine guy, but who struggles with weird voices in his head and who has been made to feel perpetually guilty by warped fundamentalist religion. He loves to play pool with me and tonight talked through anxieties with me and later with my wife. Dick a 70 year old alcoholic I have known for 20 years, sits chatting on the couch with another alcoholic in his late seventies.  Trevor his mate and landlord, sits close by and has a tendency to go on about the same subject all night. He actually owns old houses on valuable land, but lives roughly in one of the houses. He has been unemployed for years. Freda is a 38 year old delightful busy body who knows and cares about every body. She runs around getting cups of coffee for people. Henry a loud Australian helps serve food but gives people cheek, sometimes causing an uproar. Ted is a strange character who likes to abuse people and has a liking for blocking the toilets with paper or magazines. I could go on to describe more people...  we average about 40 through each Friday night. (I have changed their names) But you get the picture of these people who are my Friday night friends and "congregation". There are new faces each week. It is funny watching them. They come in, get a drink and sit looking out at the crowded hall wondering what its all about. 

Last night as I looked at all that was happening wondering how our visitors saw this, I felt a surge of pride. All around you could see this motly crew of people, acting like brothers and sisters to one another. They talked, joked, drank coffee, played pool and enjoyed being "present" for one another. Amongst them was Curly and Margaret Griffith, my wife Jean and her sister Elva. We were doing dishes, listening, joking, playing pool etc. responsibly sharing friendship and hospitality with these people. Together we all were a loving family and I thought that people were being valued, supported, guided and cared for. Don Williams sang a song called "I believe in love" that I really enjoy. I was reminded of that. We have the privilege of facilitating a place where love happens, where people are present to one another and that is NOT a waste of time. Another song says, "Love changes everything" and I think that is what happens in people's lives. I felt proud of our drop-in and my being "present" at fire stations

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