Sunday's report.... Lonely

Exercise this week.

Last Sunday a small run, Monday 9.5k run, Tuesday Gym session, Wednesday Gym, hilly walking group dawdle, 6.5k run., Friday gym session, Saturday 9.5k Run. ... Exercise on 6 out of 7 days.... pretty good. My weight went down 2kg in two weeks.... but I am still not loping along feeling good.

How would I cope?

This past week I talked to a man in his mid forties with a young family who faces an uncertain future because of cancer. My heart goes out to him, and my admiration as we talked. He was honest and open about his feelings but still courageous. I often wonder how I would cope in a similar situation. It would be easier for me at my stage of life. My family are all adults and independent, I am coming toward the end of my working life or career, and I have had a pretty good innings.... 60 years with pretty good health and fitness. I could not really complain, but even so I wonder how I would cope? Life is not always fair.

Reading.... "Help! I feel lonely!"

I am enjoying a small book by Delwin Brown called "What Does a Progressive Christian Believe?" I recall a country song called, "I was country when country wasn't cool." Well that's the feeling I had as I read this book. Progressive Christianity is a growing movement within the church, that is starting to identify itself and express itself in clearer ways. As I read this book I wanted to say "I have been a 'Progressive Christian' before Progressive Christians were named as such." I found his thinking to be in line with so much of mine. I keep wanting a clearer writing style, but I suspect that mystery and a lack of over simplification is the nature of "Progressive Christianity".

Here is a paragraph that got me thinking. He is starting to write about the Church and its purpose. He states this.... 

"... we 'tend' (that's an understatement!) to become like those with whom we most consistently and closely associate, and we are sustained in those patterns by the continuing association. Or, to put the point more cryptically, we 'are' those with whom we associate."

He goes on to spell that out a little more. It had me asking, "With whom do I associate?" I associate with church people, but I find myself not really identifying with them. Somehow I find few there really "on my wave length". I associate with drop-in centre people. I enjoy their company, converse and play games with them, but again they are not people I identify with. I spend time with emergency workers, but also they do not hold common beliefs.  I find few who I would say I would like to "become them". There are one or two in my community involvements and chaplaincy colleagues who I guess I "ring bells" with. On stewing on these lines, however, I find I lack in my life this sense of belonging to a community that affirms me and sustains me. I guess I often feel isolated from fellow travellers with the same thoughts and feelings. That is sad and does make the journey tougher, but I can't go backwards and conform.  I have moved on.  

Photo: Alone on a half-marathon