Smacking?!

I just read a survey result that said that 9 out of 10 parents see smacking as not OK as a way of disciplining your kids. That is heartening.

Let me say I was smacked... with an army web belt, sticks, spatula and at school both cane and strap. One poor teacher saw I was still grinning after "six of the best" on my hand so lost her cool and strapped me viciously around the legs! (I was reminded of this once when I was leading a church service at an elderly person's home and she was sitting bolt upright in the front row, as a visitor rostered to make a cup of tea. I wondered if she was ever surprised at what that bad kid ended up doing.)

Let me say also that I smacked my children. I have to say too, that the smack was often not out of any "good parenting concern to discipline" but rather more an expression of my frustrations or the stresses I was under. It would have been better for me and the kids if there were clear messages sent that this is unacceptable.

If I am honest, I am not one who can say as many of my contemporaries say, "Well it did not hurt me!" I believe I was hurt by being smacked by people who I was meant to trust for safety and understanding. Often the "smacks" were unwarranted and I believe I was damaged as a child, even into adulthood by such smacks. Mind you I am also aware that just as much damage can be done by the tongue, and some of the things said to me as a child still hurt, long after bruises from smacks have disappeared. I believe also both with my smacks and my tongue, I hurt my children, though they received considerably fewer smacks than I ever did. I was made a lesser person by smacking my children, our relationship was hurt and they were hurt.

I believe the so called "Anti-smacking" legislation is a call for us as a society to grow up and learn better ways of disciplining our children. It is, in my view a movement of the Spirit, or the Kingdom of God to bring change, wholeness and well being.

But we have many sections of the "Christian" church militantly and ardently trying to reclaim their "right" to smack their children. They use "spare the rod and spoil the child" type text. If we willy-nilly take all sorts of texts in scripture literally we would be stoning people, not sitting on chairs where menstruating women have sat (imagine asking your guests "Is it that time of the month?") and not wearing all sorts of mixed fabric clothing that we wear... along with a lot of other "commandments" that the world has moved beyond. Once again the Spirit of God, or the Kingdom of God has to bypass the church to make progress. It is evil, blasphemous and extremely sad.

Once again we who love Jesus who is meant to be at the centre of the church's life, find ourselves embarrassed to be identified with the organisation built on his name.