I went to a retreat for Workplace Chaplains in Invercargill (215 K south from here) on Thursday and Friday. On Saturday I worked on the Habitat house and today I led a church service and in lieu of a run, my friend and I went to the Habitat house and finished the weather boards.
Retreat Trip.
I headed out early on Thursday morning intending to work at the office for an hour, then drive my old van at a relaxed pace to Invercargill to be there by midday. I backed out my drive and drove down the road. It seemed extra noisy? I had a puncture! I got my spare out only to discover it was not really good enough for the trip. I dug in the back shed and retrieved some wide rims and tyres. ...Pumped these up, put them on the back and headed away at least an hour late. I was really pleased with the way my $1800 van traveled... It was a fun drive there and back. I do enjoy driving. I brought one of the retreat facilitators back on Friday and when we arrived in Dunedin he commented, "Well that was the fastest trip I've had from Invercargill!" I don't think he thought it was unsafe though, just "you made good time!"
Collegiality
We had to evaluate the retreat. It was a bit hard. In less than two days I thought it a bit superficial if I was honest, but OK as far as it went. The thing I liked most out of it was the friendship. We chaplains work very much alone. You are the representative of God, the support person in a workplace. You are not on staff but you do care for the people. Its a lonely task. So I appreciated the friendship of chaplains for the few hours we were together.
It is strange, because if I were to sit down and talk theology with these chaplains, most of them would consider that I was a heretic and I would get impatient with their fundamentalism. But, because we simply try to represent Jesus, we end up having much common ground.
I was warmed by friendship. They teased me. (How come I get teased where ever I go?) The local fire chaplain took me to the fire station and then up Invercargill's historic water tower. We strolled the streets at night, I sat and ate my breakfast eggs in a cafe and swapped stories with a chaplain and we enjoyed a fancy hotel restaurant meal together.
Mostly I was warmed by the sense of being with people who experienced the same things I do. One said that he had people in chaplaincy who were like close buddies, but on other days it felt so lonely.... me too. Another said that in the face of rejection or cautious reception she found it was hard to pluck up the courage to go back in.... me too. Another admitted to being absolutely tired out just listening to people... me too. Another said that there was no other job like this so friends and others could not understand her perspectives or feelings.... me too. As people shared honestly the sense of comradeship, collegiality and friendship made the trip down and back and the time out worth while. I felt less alone. I have a great supervisor with whom I can share my journey, but it has been good to be with these people in the same job.
Where do you find God?
One of the questions that was on a handout was "Where do you find God?" The idea was that they were encouraging us to journal, meditate and reflect so that we could renew our resources and cope with the demands of chaplaincy. The facilitator gave examples of where she found God... e.g. "Sitting at her french doors with a rural scene before her." Others gave some "blissful" examples. I jotted down some answers on the hand out. Yes I found God while walking in the bush... but mostly my examples went like this. "Gathered round a bed with a family waiting for a loved one to die." "With a similar family gathering information to lead a funeral and that family telling me of their journey together." "Watching fire fighters and Ambulance officers working together to get a trapped injured person out of a car wreck, seeing their care, compassion and synergy." "Playing football with excluded people and watching their joy and experiencing their friendship." "Being with a family building their Habitat house." etc. etc. etc. It is in these caring relationships and activities that I sense a divine partnership. But to many people, that sounds like it should be draining. It's where I feel ALIVE.
Why Me?
On Friday I drove home from the retreat feeling tired. I attended our drop-in centre, playing pool, washing dishes and talking with people. I lost count of the number of people through on Friday night, I got to about 56. It was a good peaceful night, with a nice warm friendly feel to it. About ten minutes before we closed (around 9:20p.m.) a wild eyed man who I have known for many years, walked in and was obviously scanning the room looking for me. He came to me and demanded that I take him down to Psych Services so that he could negotiate a fair deal with them. It turned out that he had been a patient in the psychiatric ward at the hospital, "voluntarily admitted", he told me. They had taken him to the local shop to get some sweets or whatever, and he "escaped". He had been told the police were looking for him. So I bundled him into the van and off we went to the emergency department. The triage nurse said she would call psych services and we had to wait in the waiting room. We waited. He ranted. He was paranoid... everyone was out to lock him up... he was unsafe in the ward and wasn't going back... etc etc. He just kept going on and on. I sat there thinking, "Why me? Why tonight?" I was tired, I had a big Habitat day the next day and had not yet done much on my sermon for Sunday. Why me? Then I began to ask, "What would Jesus do?" It was then that I sensed a mysterious partnership with the eternal. I should be the presence of God, with this man in the midst of his confusion. In due course a policeman arrived to try to convince him to go back to the ward. "I'm not going back!" he insisted, "I am a voluntary patient! I can leave when I like!" He was quite stubborn and nothing the policeman said would change his mind. I suggested that may be I could take him out to his father's place and the doctors could sort it all out next week. The policeman took all the details, the control room negotiated with hospital and father, and I was allowed to drop him into his dad's keeping. It was after midnight when I arrived home. Strangely enough, in that experience I sensed a connection with the eternal.
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