JC's helper: Listening is exhausting

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Listening is exhausting

I am tired out tonight. I spent 4 hours at my new chaplaincy today. There is a whole bunch of people I do not know, a culture I do not know and work practices and boundaries I have yet to figure out.

I wander around and when some poor unsuspecting person catches my eye I stop, introduce myself and question. I listen intently, watching for signals that I have overstayed my welcome, or pushed too hard, or touched on subjects that are out of bounds. But I listen and try to remember the details. (I surprised a lady today when I remembered something she had said to me a few weeks ago.)

I am still going to this chaplaincy in fear and trembling. I found myself even walking more slowly as I approached the building, trying to think of excuses why I could procrastinate. I am essentially a shy guy so I need to push myself to meet new people like this. I have even been considering telling my boss I am too busy to take it on, it is so difficult for me to put myself "out there" to a new bunch of people. But when I do, I find I enjoy the conversations. There are interesting people willing to share. Each time I go I meet more people and have long conversations with a few more. It should get easier.

I came home tonight, sat in front of the TV to eat dinner and watch the box... pretty soon I was snoring. It is very tiring listening to people. My fire fighters have me on and say I get paid for "doing nothing... just having cups of tea". It looks like I am doing nothing, sitting listening. It is however, a very busy, active and intense past time. When it is done well it requires authenticity, concentration and skill. But it is also very rewarding. I need to remember that part of it when I am almost overcome by my fear of meeting new people. It reminds me of Jesus' words, "When you lose yourself you find yourself. In giving you receive." Even though I am very shy, I find people's experience of life intensely interesting and my life is enriched by each encounter. Jewish theologian and thinker, Martin Buber says something like "God is in the 'I-Thou' encounter".

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The Blog's title

I am a Workplace Chaplain to the NZ fireservice.

At the firestation every time one man sees me he yells, "Here comes JC's helper!". I guess I am happy to be called just that... "Jesus' helper". I am a follower of Jesus.
A a quote from Dave Andrews in his book, "Not Religion but Love".
"Being a devotee of Jesus is not a matter of subscribing to a certain set of dogmas, obeying rules and regulations, and getting others to subordinate themselves to them.

The essence of being a devotee of Jesus is to live in sympathy with God as Jesus did; feeling the throb of God's heartbeat, and teaching our hearts to learn to beat in sync with the love that sustains the universe.

It means developing our capacity to sense intuitively what causes love pleasure, and what causes love pain, and doing everything we can to enhance the pleasure, and diminish the pain."

I love this charter.

The Charter for Compassion

The principle of compassion lies at the heart of all religious, ethical and spiritual traditions, calling us always to treat all others as we wish to be treated ourselves. Compassion impels us to work tirelessly to alleviate the suffering of our fellow creatures, to dethrone ourselves from the centre of our world and put another there, and to honour the inviolable sanctity of every single human being, treating everybody, without exception, with absolute justice, equity and respect.

It is also necessary in both public and private life to refrain consistently and empathically from inflicting pain. To act or speak violently out of spite, chauvinism, or self-interest, to impoverish, exploit or deny basic rights to anybody, and to incite hatred by denigrating others—even our enemies—is a denial of our common humanity. We acknowledge that we have failed to live compassionately and that some have even increased the sum of human misery in the name of religion.

We therefore call upon all men and women ~ to restore compassion to the centre of morality and religion ~ to return to the ancient principle that any interpretation of scripture that breeds violence, hatred or disdain is illegitimate ~ to ensure that youth are given accurate and respectful information about other traditions, religions and cultures ~ to encourage a positive appreciation of cultural and religious diversity ~ to cultivate an informed empathy with the suffering of all human beings—even those regarded as enemies.

We urgently need to make compassion a clear, luminous and dynamic force in our polarized world. Rooted in a principled determination to transcend selfishness, compassion can break down political, dogmatic, ideological and religious boundaries. Born of our deep interdependence, compassion is essential to human relationships and to a fulfilled humanity. It is the path to enlightenment, and indispensable to the creation of a just economy and a peaceful global community.