Emotional wreck?

I am a man! Men don't cry! ... right. I have noticed in my life time that as I get older I am much more likely to choke up, cry or get emotional. I also notice that some times I go through periods of "emotional instability" in this way. I recall many years ago I had a bout of glandular fever and was knocked back so much that I was as weak as a kitten and could not do much at all. I was off work for six weeks. That was the start of a new emotional David Brown. I would look at TV and cry over news items and sad events reported. I would choke up at the drop of a hat. Since then I have found myself choking up much more often than I used to. There are sometimes profound triggers. A TV program about child abuse had me sitting with tears running down my cheeks. All sorts of life history and childhood feelings came to the surface for me. Sometimes something that triggers memories of bereavements I have experienced will bring out these episodes. But I do notice that at certain points in time I am more "fragile" than normal. On Sunday I was making a birthday presentation to a much loved and respected 90 year old and I struggled to get through it. I was choking up and we ended up clasping each others' hands almost for mutual support. This morning, while reading the paper I was inspired by a couple of articles. I tried reading relevant parts out to my wife and I choked up!

If I had the time I should go to a counsellor and try to work out what is going on. I am a bundle of conflicting emotions at the moment. One moment I am inspired to change the world, the next I want out! Is it just old age? Does it signal "burnout"? Or is it just me being more whole and open about what I feel? Anyway choking up about articles in the paper this morning made me realise that I am going through one of those stages at the moment. I don't have time to sort it out, I have funerals to run, radio services to record and people to see and places to go.

I have latched on to this advice from Albert Einstein... "Try not to become a person of success but rather a person of value." Maybe I am rationalising my lack of "success" but I quite like that sentence.