When I was recording a radio service on Wednesday I was reading words off a sheet of paper but a few times I found I just could not get the words out. I was like a person who stutters trying to say something. I knew what I wanted to say but somehow things seized up between my brain and mouth. On Thursday morning I was lying in bed going over the things I had to do during the day. I was running over in my mind the funeral eulogy. My mind would start on a thought or sentence but then slide on to something totally unrelated. It was a bit like your mind gets just as you are falling asleep, but this was first thing in the morning? I then got worried about how I would perform at the funeral. (In fact I started to wonder if I had experienced some sort of mini stroke or something.) I did some more preparation and then a chaplaincy visit to the brewery in the morning. As I drove out to the funeral at about 12:30 I was driving along a familiar road just entering an intersection and I realised to my horror that I had driven through a red light! I slammed on the brakes, with great screeching and smoking of the tires, stopped and reversed up. I sat there looking foolish as people looked at me and shook their heads disapprovingly. "I am tired!" I said to myself. Later as I stood waiting for the funeral director to give me the signal to walk up the front and begin proceedings, with about 200 people sitting there expectantly, I was even more nervous than normal, wondering if I would cope. I did stutter and stammer a bit, but I did OK. After the funeral I paid a chaplaincy visit, I brainstormed on songs for Sunday and went to a Night Shelter Trust meeting at 5:30 p.m. At night I worked on two emails related to this Sunday service.
This morning I have eased up. I did some work, wandered down the road in the sun, window shopped for a while, then bought some morning tea and have been slowly reading stuff for Sunday in a relaxed way. I will have to make up some chaplaincy hours next week. I realise that I have been too busy and my poor old brain (that is probably under-resourced at the best of times) has been starting to blow a fuse or two.
At the moment I have an easy day tomorrow to look forward to.
1 comment:
Somehow this reminds me of a fruit tree that has never been pruned or thinned... It's bearing an unusually large amount of fruit, but it's all small, crowded, and slightly under-developed.
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