Eye ball them...

Relating is funny...

I am paid to meet people, mix with people and talk with people, but the strange thing is I am essentially quite shy. I generally cope OK with my duties, but because of my introverted nature, it takes an extra effort to put myself "out there". I get on OK with "average Joe" type guys. I enjoy tradesmen, thinking guys and "blokes". But I am intimidated often by women... not confident at relating with them... there is probably all sorts of reasons for this we won't go into. I am also intimidated by the thought of meeting rich and powerful men. I recall talking myself out of this once. I got a job in a hardware store. One day the owner of the store (He owned several) called in to where I was working, introduced himself, and started talking to me. I was so intimidated... giving stuttering responses... being very awkward and so on. As he was talking I found myself giving myself a lecture... "You stupid boy! He is only human just like you! What's the worst he could do to you? Sack you? Its a stupid lowly paid job anyway. You have no need to fear him! You have had just as much experience of life as he!" and I relaxed and chatted convivially with this rich man.

I continue to have times when I am called upon to meet rich and powerful men. I continue to be nervous about such meetings. The thing that gets me these days is that often when I meet them, they appear weak. Let me explain. My dad was a "man's man" with a sort of earthy wisdom. I still hear his sayings running through my head. He used to say, "When you shake a person's hand, don't give a limp-wristed excuse for a hand shake. Hold the person's hand firmly, let them know you are you and you're pleased to meet them." Then he would say also, "Look people in the eye... eyeball them. If you cant look a man in the eye ask yourself 'why?' " (I have remembered that and sometimes have had to ask that question)

Well the thing that intrigues me is that often I sweat about having to meet rich and powerful men. Then I go to meet them, hold out my hand to shake hands and I get a "limp-wristed excuse for a handshake" and in the meeting and in the conversation they often do not hold eye contact. They look somehow, intimidated. They look anywhere but at me. I am often disappointed because I expect to be meeting someone strong, purposeful and "together". Maybe they are for some reason, uncomfortable with meeting a church minister and don't know what to do or say? I remember years ago being introduced to the then Governor General, and his eye contact, handshake and conversation was as weak and pathetic as any. Relating is so difficult and full of so many dynamics. Maybe I am reading way too much into handshakes and eye contact? That's why I love talking to my dog and wandering the hills alone. It is less complicated.