People and cultures..the same but different.

Because of my friend's death I now find myself in South Australia for a few days. I am to take part in his memorial service tomorrow.

I flew to Auckland on Friday night arriving at around 10:30 p.m. after a very busy day. I was to be at the air port again by 6 a.m. so I decided just to walk from the domestic terminal to the international terminal and spend the night there trying to get some sleep somewhere. I did not get much sleep..... but what an interesting place a terminal is! It was interesting watching arrivals and departures. The tearful farewells and the just as tearful welcomes. It was so interesting seeing a great variety of different races coming through, watching them trying to work out systems, relating to loved ones and saying their hellos and goodbyes. You could see familiar feelings of love and human ties. It does not matter who we are, we have similar human relationships and connections and I could feel for and identify with these unknown people I was watching. I flew to Adelaide next to a delightful little boy from America. We chatted from time to time. He was a young perhaps 8 year old boy from America, I was an "old" man from NZ, yet we discovered an enjoyable fun short term friendship. I recall seeing a photo of some remains of a mother and daughter from a civilization about 100,000 years ago. I thought "That mum probably had similar feelings toward her children as mums have today, yet a very different world." We are the same.

But......Even though it is a sad time I have enjoyed catching up with families and friends of my two special friends, Ian and Jeff. People have been lovely and welcoming and I have felt at home.... but also not at home. There is a difference between Australians and New Zealanders, don't ask me to define it, but there is a different "culture". When I spend time here, as friendly and as welcoming as Australians always are, I find I feel a bit like a fish out of water. In NZ I know how to relate. I know familiar and expected patterns of conversation and have a common heritage and history when in New Zealand. But somehow its different here and I become more awkward when visiting here, because that unseen familiar stuff we take for granted is not there. As close as NZ and Australia are, there is a difference in a different culture. We need to remember that. We are "the same" but "different". (An example... Jeff is a hospital chaplain... I am in his office doing this. Today Jeff and his male colleague are wearing jeans. I have never seen a hospital chaplain in NZ at work wearing jeans.)

I had a man once suggest I should go preach and teach in Vanuatu. I said, "I have no right! I do not know their culture and their life.... until I understand that and "be" there, I cannot be telling them what to do." I would stand by that. I have even found it in different workplaces I visit. The culture of the fire brigade is different from that at the brewery and that of St John Ambulance... and if I assume that they are the same I will make some big blunders. At all times, in new situations we need to sit and listen to where people are and what makes them tick, and not too easily assume that "we are the same". People are people, similar with similar feelings etc. but also so different. That's what makes the world we live in so interesting.