I keep track on the numbers of people who check out my blog site on MyBlogLog .Com. The most popular posts that originate from Google searches are two with similar themes in their heading. One is entitled "When a man looks at a woman with lust" and the other "I love her but she doesn't know it..." (The second one is NOT about "eros" love so I imagine a number of people are disappointed because it is not what they think it is.) I find it interesting though not surprising that these headings prompt so much interest. I think it points to longings we all have. That whole area of our lives, sexuality and love relationships fascinates us and yet worries us.
First I think we long for the "right" partner. We have this illusion of there being someone who is exactly right for us and there being blissful "ever afters". Sometimes we are still searching, but never find someone who fits the bill. At other times we are asking about the relationship we have, "Is this as good as it gets?" I love reading the comments in the paper by people who are celebrating 60 years marriage, and often wonder what the highs and lows have been like. It would be interesting to take each partner aside individually and ask them about the history of their relationship. Then there are the arranged marriages in various cultures that seem to work out fine.
Secondly I think we are troubled by this whole area of life because it seems to be one area that has a scary power over us. We are troubled by the various feelings that we have. There seems to be a power in the erotic! When a really "hot" woman (don't ask me to define that!) walks down the street I find it interesting to watch the people watching her. Men just about bump into power poles because they are staring so much. It is interesting watching men who are walking with their wives, looking but not looking. ... and their wives checking to see if husband has noticed. Some woman visibly sneer, and look in disgust. But more than just the erotic, there seems to be a power in the sexuality, the mystery and the irrationality of relationships. Sometimes we are incredibly attracted to another when the brain is telling us it is absolutely stupid. At other times people are so deeply hurt when as my blog heading says, "I love her but she doesn't know it." Some find it impossible to get that person out of their minds. The power in these attractions seem enormous. Break ups in love relationships cause a deep hurt and untold anguish, even when we know it is "for the best" and continuing would be no good for either. They have incredible power to hurt us and knock our confidence. This whole area of life is both scary, fascinating and mysterious because logic seems to get blown away by uncontrollable feelings. Some of us, because of the scary nature of all this, try to avoid getting involved at all. It is easier to build an armour and stay aloof.
I have no wisdom or insight to share, I am just intrigued by the mystery and yet appeal of it all. Why is it that these two blog post headings continue to hold so much interest?
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