While on holiday I watched three TV films that touched on the same themes. "The Devil wears Prada", "Evan Almighty" (A bit way "out there"??) and another one about some guy who had a universal remote to control life. (All films I would not usually watch but at my age even on summer holidays on some nights you need to do something else!)"The Devil wears Prada" is about a young woman who gets swept up in her work for a fashion magazine and her friendships, priorities and principles begin to suffer because of her busyness. In both of the other "over the top" films the main character deals with issues of work verses family time/life etc. It is interesting that in these three very different films the same issues seem to be highlighted. All the main characters had to struggle with work verses family/relationships/"what's important?" issues. This is such an issue for our modern western lifestyle. Do we work to live, or live to work? The whole life/work balance is so difficult.
I was facilitating a "Family Life" group in a church in the Nelson area once. As this issue was raised a man and his wife, with tears in their eyes told their story with courageous honesty. They had a farm but told how out of that another business had evolved and just kept getting bigger and busier. In the end, he said, he was forced to realise that he had grown apart from his wife, had lost connection with his kids and they were just existing together in a mad lifestyle in the same house. One weekend when things got really bad they stopped and re thought their life, and made necessary changes. But their message was, "It can sneak up on you and you get into it without even knowing!" I recall visiting a very successful farmer, then in his late sixties in the north of the North Island. He had added farm to farm and was well off and well known in the church and the community. Sitting around his kitchen table with his wife he was looking back on his life and said, "What have I done? All I have done is that I have been good at growing grass for cattle to eat!" He paused and put his arm around his wife who had watery eyes, "I have been a useless husband, an absent father and not very good at doing the things Jesus talked about... when it all boils down all I have really done with my life is grown grass!..full stop!"
I have struggled with the same issues all my life. Ministry is such a "righteous" profession that you can easily justify your busyness. We visited Palmerston North recently and were recalling my lifestyle there. Each week I had 9 "presentations" to prepare for. ... 2 Sunday services, Bible in schools class, mid-week bible study session, Sunday afternoon Youth group session, and regularly about 3 or 4 Girls Brigade and Boys brigade devotions or "Christian Education" sessions to present. I was heavily involved in three ecumenical committees and a national committee for our denomination. There seemed to be endless counselling "clients", weddings, funerals and extras to add to the mix. There were some times when I would go three or four weeks without a night at home! Since then sometimes life has been easier, but even these days, in the normal course of events, I seldom have an evening meal at home... it is often a rushed meal at the church before rushing off to some event, meeting or session. My children grew up ever so quickly and all the things I wanted to do with them only happened spasmodically. I have friends who I know only as acquaintances because I have not made the time to keep up the friendship. Life soon passes and real living can go down the drain. I do believe that it is good for kids to grow up knowing that mum and dad have wider concerns and purposes in life than just them, but there is a balance. It is sooo easy for the important to get shunted out of life by the urgent. "The Devil wears Prada" reminded me of that.(The chapel we built while I was at Palmerston North Church.)
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