Dunedin, New Zealand, my city - my people

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Life sucks sometimes....


To use an old phrase, "My heart is heavy." I have had several reminders that life is tough this week. A friend of mine kissed goodbye to her partner in the morning. They had had a good time with visiting family. But later that day a policeman visited her work and told her that her loved partner had collapsed and died at the wheel of his car. She had found love with him... but now he was gone at the age of 54. I ached for her as she told me of it on the phone. This morning I talked with a man whose wife is sinking ever more deeply into Alzheimer's. He was in tears as he told me that sometimes she doesn't remember his name or other family members' names. I ached for him. I talked with another man who used to be a talented singer, an able sportsman and a live wire businessman in town here, but he is slowly but surely "losing it". I could go on about the various sad situations I have encountered in this my first week back at work. I am aware too that I find it so much harder going for a run than I used to find. That feeling of loping along enjoying the exercise and the whole sensation is not just happening in my recent attempts to get fit. It is more a determined plod, "glad its over with" feeling. I was annoyed that my son, who seldom exercises could climb a hill without getting breathless and I was puffing and panting. With my blood pressure medication my ankles swell and doctor's visits happen more regularly. I am, however I kid myself otherwise, getting older and anything I do can only slow the decline in my abilities. It is true that sometimes "life sucks"! I recall one worker in a chaplaincy when going through a hard time said, "Life's a shit sandwich! You're born, you die and in between is just a load of shit!"

M.Scott Peck starts his book "The road less travelled" with these words.
"Life is difficult.
This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it."

A little later he goes on...
"Life is a series of problems. Do we want to moan about them or solve them? Do we want to teach our children to solve them?
Discipline is the basic set of tools we require to solve life's problems."


I guess I want to say three things...
(a) A simplistic idea of God who protects and makes life a bed of roses does not hold water for this real world. I believe in the sacred presence in the midst of life, but that is not one who is all of the time making life easy or fair for His people. He is present in and through us in the midst of the crap, but simplistic concepts of God as our personal gene making everything right for us do not stand up.

(b) Because life is difficult it is all the more important that we love one another. Even in the hard times of life, there can be a deep richness in the strength of friendship and love. Life can be full of depth and meaning, not because it is easy, but because in the shit, we discover solidarity with loved friends and family. This discovery can be worth more than all the gold in the universe.It is true that,
"We are pilgrims on a journey
We are kindred on the road
We are here to help each other
Walk the mile and bear the load."

(c) It is deeply meaningful to keep hearing Jesus' call to love. In the midst of the difficult times, even in death, we will find dignity, meaning and significance when we seek to continue to heed Jesus' call to be as loving, as constructive and as caring as we can be. I have read and re-read Victor Frankl's little book about his Logotherapy.... "Man's search for meaning". In the midst of his terrible experiences of the concentration camp, amongst death, oppression and the worst abuse known, he observed there were those who kept an inner freedom and dignity. They were those who clung to love and still saw themselves as having a task to do. I believe this to be true, but I have to admit that I have had a very rosy and easy life, and have not really been tested. I would hope that come what may I will not lose that call of Jesus on my life. I believe this is part of the discipline M. Scott Peck writes of.

I'm off for a run with a friend. I will enjoy the friendship but the running at the moment is like life... difficult.

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