I have been off work sick for the last couple of days. This is a very rare event in my life. Apart from weeks off many years ago with glandular fever, I can't remember any days I have actually had off due to illness. I have sometimes come home early, but I have to be quite ill to call it quits for a whole day. When I was debating whether to knock off or not I was blessed with lots of advice. A friend in Aussie emailed saying; "Do you think your body might be saying to you stop and rest and let the world carry on without you..." My little brother in Central Otago put on Facebook "Look after yourself bro, life goes on without you." I have had arguments with a good friend on Skype making similar points and my wife has given me a rev up or two along the same line. I started to feel poorly on Sunday night, and slowly got worse till on Wednesday morning I decided to come home from the office. It is an interesting state of affairs. It is difficult to switch off, but difficult to do much either. I was walking around the house before wondering what the squeaky noise was I was hearing. I then realised it was my own breathing! I was wheezing so much. I should be back at work by tomorrow.... I am blogging as a way of procrastinating... I have some work that needs to be done by tonight.
Indispensable ... not!
I have laid at home thinking of the things I should have been doing. "What about my chaplaincies?" "I have time sheets to do!" "What about the outreach ministry meeting?" "Who is going to put up tables for the women's tea?" "I need to choose songs and prepare for Sunday?" so it goes on. Unanswered emails mount and the time for Sunday's preparation is getting short. I was a young teenager when my Dad died. The day after his death my brother and I went up town on a little moped because we needed to buy something. I recall getting to the busy area of town and wanting to scream, "Hey everybody... my Dad died! Stop what you are doing!" My world had caved in, but here it was obvious, life just went on! It was a harsh way to learn a lesson. I recall once when my fire fighters were taking industrial action I jokingly threatened to go on strike. "But Dave," they shot back at me, "Who would notice?" If I was not just sick today, but for some reason I departed the scene, a few people would miss me for a while, but essentially life would go on! That is the way it is. It is like when a pebble is thrown into a pond and there is a splash, some ripples, but pretty soon the pond is calm again with no sign of the stone's presence. So as I am forced to take time off, I need to remember that life goes on. I am not indispensable. I need to learn not to take myself too seriously. (I have often remembered scenes from past Church meetings and conferences. There have been "big people" who would rave on, sometimes in argumentative tones, expressing their opinion as if the world depended on it. They argued, and spent heaps of energy on their schemes and ideas... but now they, and often the issues they thought worth fighting over are mostly forgotten. What did their full head of steam accomplish? From this point in history they are just a novelty who sometimes come up in conversation with elderly folk.) We often take ourselves a way too seriously. I need to learn, that when I am sick the world will go on without me. I can take time off.
But doing the best I can...
On the other hand, I think it is important to recognise that our contribution is important. We can too glibly say, "The world will go on" and not take seriously enough the contribution that we make or can make. In one of my chaplaincies I am astounded by the number of sick days the workers have off. Many have the full quota of their allowance. One of the reasons for this, I believe, is that they do not think that highly of their work. From their perspective, it makes no difference whether they front up or not. I think that is sad. It must surely make them feel bad about their life overall. Where is the job satisfaction? If I was management or indeed union, I would be looking for ways to enhance the workers' experience. We need to value the contribution that we make, and while recognising we are not indispensable, recognise that we have a part to play and that we are accountable for how we lived while we are here. To use the picture of the stone in the pond. Of course the stone disappears, but there are ripples. If we invest our life wisely expressing important and constructive values of love, with behaviour and work that contributes to the wholeness of people's lives, then the ripples we make are significant and make an impact long after we are gone. While it probably will hardly be noticed that I did not turn up for a chaplaincy this week, the deep conversation I had last week with a guy should not be under rated. I made a difference and we all can make a significant impact for good by responsible living.
There is a balance between not taking ourselves too seriously and living responsibly aware that life is short and we can make a difference. We are a part of the fabric of life and history. I guess there is the reminder in Ecclesiastes... "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: ...." Today it is my time to be sick and step back a bit for a while, till tomorrow.... maybe.
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