JC's helper: Other People's problems

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Other People's problems

Today seemed to be a day of people throwing things at me. Some of them were my problems but others were not. I just read an article that reported on a survey. It said, "Almost half of kiwi workers want to quit their jobs." (Interestingly enough many blamed "systems and processes" for the way they were feeling - a familiar feel for me.) As I picked up my wife at 6 p.m. tonight, I said in frustration, "I really feel like telling everyone, Church, chaplaincy and the lot, to get stuffed!" Perhaps it was having an extra day off and having to catch up, but today felt yuck! I can't tell you all that happened but it made me remember a quote a colleague gave me years ago. I share it with you.

It is headed; WE HAVE A PROBLEM....

We do not have a problem, and we will never again have one. I'm sure there is a problem, but it is not ours, it is either yours or mine. The first item on the agenda is to neaten up the pronouns and find out whose problem this is. If it turns out to be my problem, I hope you will help me with it. If it turns out to be your problem, I will help you with it subject to the following condition:

At no time while I am helping you with your problem will your problem become my problem, because the minute your problem becomes my problem, you will no longer have a problem and I cannot help a person who does not have a problem!
(From: The one Minute Manager Meets the Monkey. by Kenneth Blanchard - page 75)

To give an example of what happened. I was listening to the son of a woman who died on Monday. He was telling me all about the event and their life. (I lead her funeral on Friday) The phone rang and it was this person who launched into their problem. They must have sensed my hesitancy, so they asked, "Is it OK, can I talk with you for five minutes?" I replied that, "Well no, I have a guy in the office at the moment, can I ring you back?" They then proceeded to tell me, speaking quickly, more about their problem. The flow of conversation with the man in my office ceased and "the moment" (the healing moment) as they say, was ruined. My day seemed to be dotted with moments like that.

The events made me think of the above quote I have pinned on my wall at home. I will have a more productive day tomorrow, I hope. I have heaps of hours of chaplaincy to do; I have Sunday's service to sort; I have to be ready for a funeral on Friday. ... stop waffling and get back to work David!

2 comments:

Linda Myers said...: The phone. The Interrupter. I try not to answer mine if I'm in conversation with someone else. If it's important, they'll call back.

Nevertheless, you're probably so well regarded people can't wait to tell you their problems.; September 21, 2011 at 3:00 PM
Dave Brown said...: Hi Linda. Yes I have just been for my monthly supervision session and my supervisor said, "Why did you answer the phone?" I recall being at a meeting in a ministers front lounge. The phone rang and we expected him to answer it. He let it keep ringing and continued with what he was saying. He paused briefly to comment, "The phone is an invitation not a command." I should get more like that.; September 21, 2011 at 3:24 PM

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The Blog's title

I am a Workplace Chaplain to the NZ fireservice.

At the firestation every time one man sees me he yells, "Here comes JC's helper!". I guess I am happy to be called just that... "Jesus' helper". I am a follower of Jesus.
A a quote from Dave Andrews in his book, "Not Religion but Love".
"Being a devotee of Jesus is not a matter of subscribing to a certain set of dogmas, obeying rules and regulations, and getting others to subordinate themselves to them.

The essence of being a devotee of Jesus is to live in sympathy with God as Jesus did; feeling the throb of God's heartbeat, and teaching our hearts to learn to beat in sync with the love that sustains the universe.

It means developing our capacity to sense intuitively what causes love pleasure, and what causes love pain, and doing everything we can to enhance the pleasure, and diminish the pain."

I love this charter.

The Charter for Compassion

The principle of compassion lies at the heart of all religious, ethical and spiritual traditions, calling us always to treat all others as we wish to be treated ourselves. Compassion impels us to work tirelessly to alleviate the suffering of our fellow creatures, to dethrone ourselves from the centre of our world and put another there, and to honour the inviolable sanctity of every single human being, treating everybody, without exception, with absolute justice, equity and respect.

It is also necessary in both public and private life to refrain consistently and empathically from inflicting pain. To act or speak violently out of spite, chauvinism, or self-interest, to impoverish, exploit or deny basic rights to anybody, and to incite hatred by denigrating others—even our enemies—is a denial of our common humanity. We acknowledge that we have failed to live compassionately and that some have even increased the sum of human misery in the name of religion.

We therefore call upon all men and women ~ to restore compassion to the centre of morality and religion ~ to return to the ancient principle that any interpretation of scripture that breeds violence, hatred or disdain is illegitimate ~ to ensure that youth are given accurate and respectful information about other traditions, religions and cultures ~ to encourage a positive appreciation of cultural and religious diversity ~ to cultivate an informed empathy with the suffering of all human beings—even those regarded as enemies.

We urgently need to make compassion a clear, luminous and dynamic force in our polarized world. Rooted in a principled determination to transcend selfishness, compassion can break down political, dogmatic, ideological and religious boundaries. Born of our deep interdependence, compassion is essential to human relationships and to a fulfilled humanity. It is the path to enlightenment, and indispensable to the creation of a just economy and a peaceful global community.